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  1. Tags
    Summary

    “Oh for goodness sake go get a cup!” Joel shouts, watching Etho’s mouth drop open and full body stumble backwards into his kitchen island like Joel was a ticking time bomb. “For all your poking and prodding, how did you not notice you have nothing to catch the coffee in! Idiot!”

    Screw it. Let Etho know and let him tear Joel apart. Joel was already tired of him anyway, he’ll take the gamble.

    “What–”

    “Okay lets get this over with.” Joel starts, trying hard to keep total exacerbation out of his tone. “No you are not asleep, yes I am a talking coffee machine, no it is not an automatic voice and I can understand you when you speak to me. Yes I will ‘die’ when you take me apart or break me, no I will not speak for a camera or video and finally yes, I will continue making coffee for you so long as you go get a cup before I actually start getting mad!”

    //

    He was a coffee machine, he was an overworked tech guy. Can I make it any more obvious? (to the tune of skater boy)

    (Title from Em Beihold - Egg in the backseat)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,848
    Chapters:
    3/8
    Comments:
    25
    Kudos:
    63
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    402
  2. Tags
    Summary

    parrot always notices when theo does something silly. he doesn’t know theo notices, too.

    a 5+1, slight cartwings ship fic.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,485
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    31
    Kudos:
    81
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    905
  3. Tags
    Summary

    hummer confesses to wifies and wifies says hell NO❌❌❌
    kinda nervous to post this ok

    sorry if i missed any tags this was really rushed !pls tell me if i did! i have school soon im up way too late
    this is really short sorry i kinda hate it but its ok

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,104
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    4
    Hits:
    22
  4. Tags
    Summary

    The town of SchlattCo had appointed a new, promising sheriff, Katie B, who is determined to be the one to apprehend the region’s most notorious outlaw; Young Multi, who has a heavy bounty to his name and an elusive reputation.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,045
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    53
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    394
  5. Tags
    Summary

    ⟡✦This is a Sequel to Ego Gets You Nowhere, it's on my page if you haven't seen it!✦⟡

    Evourai would never describe his life as peaceful, no one has a simple life on the Heartless Horizon server. But he feels like he gets the short end of the stick really often, because why is there another world ending threat he has to deal with?! PierceTRV, currently the only server owner, has tasked him with defeating the Council. If only he gave him a little more info than that...he just defeated one, not alone, but he did. It's unfortunate that Boomie and Sorhin (who he is now in a relationship with, wow!) have some conflicted feelings about their old friend.

    AKA; How does one save the world while still processing the trauma from the last time? With great difficulty, of course.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    36,476
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Comments:
    94
    Kudos:
    46
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    1,317
  6. Tags
    Summary

    As Owen wanders through the woods around Oakhurst, he meets a new arrival. No one in the village would probably miss the new person, but something about them intrigues him. But of course the other vampire in town has his own plans for the human...

    Expect a lot of plot with a bit of porn strewn in, new powers, found family, polyamory, a new danger and hopefully enough communication and character growth so we can end this without any deaths.

    Mind the tags. Don't like, don't read. Not RPF. The smut is marked and can be skipped or explicitly searched for. v!Avid is part of this story. cc!Avid can fuck off and stay gone.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    228,803
    Chapters:
    89/?
    Comments:
    93
    Kudos:
    241
    Bookmarks:
    15
    Hits:
    9,250
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Abolish wasn’t chosen, not like everyone else always was. So why would he be chosen as a champion of the gods? Well, he wasn’t. When Abolish is accidentally thrown into a death game with no godly powers he finds himself in desperate need of allies, even if they’ll all only betray each other later. His teammates seem to disagree. Will they piece together the truth in time or will he fall to a game that he was never even meant to play?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,156
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    36
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    125
  8. Tags
    Summary

    When a hand interlaces with another, they must reciprocate. Spoke has felt the feeling of clinging to the knuckle of another person, twirling his fingers around theirs and breathing softly over their lips. He had felt such feelings with everybody.

    Ash, Mapicc, Jumper and Jamato. But those fingers, they never curl back. They don't revel and enjoy Spoke's intimacy.

    But these pairs of hands—they do.
    INTERLUDE!JUMPER/UU!SPOKE

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,026
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Hits:
    0
  9. Tags
    Summary

    “Wifies, didn't you die?" He whispered, confused and surprised, purple eyes widening in shock.

    He had gotten sidetracked during one of his missions for Arachnid—a trail of suspicious players and activity being way more exciting than blowing up yet another civilization. It really wasn't his fault, he simply lost track of time… and his sense of direction.

    There wasn't really any way to sugarcoat this to Arachnid later, but that was not his problem—right now, he was more focused on the dead-alive man standing in front of him.

    Because Wifies was supposed to be dead. Parrot had told him, and well everyone else at District 13, that Wifies had died sacrificing himself in the battle against the mafia. And Parrot was a lot of things; a bum, loser, smart, annoyingly determined, etc. But he was not a liar. If the bird said he was dead, then he was dead.

    OR: Wifies is alive and dead inside. Wemmbu is confused and exhausted. Both lost and desperate, they get through it, together.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,822
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    100
    Kudos:
    276
    Bookmarks:
    41
    Hits:
    2,891
  10. Tags
    Summary

    "I have to find an internship at a shelter, AGAIN, so that's... joyous," Luke sighed.

    "Haven't you done four?"

    "Yup."

    "Wow."

    Luke started pulling out his computer to look up shelters, when Tommy had a funny joke he wanted to make.

    "Do you do pet play?" Tommy asked, this dumb smile plastered on his face.

    Luke turned in disgust. "Ew. Tommy, no. I'm a vet. That's unprofessional. Read a fuckin' book."

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,197
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Hits:
    3
  11. Tags
    Summary

    The forest was beautiful at night, and X always felt peace out in the dark woods. So calm, the only sounds the frogs, fireflies, the rustling leaves, a gentle wind blowing, all of it. He loved it.

    The woods behind his base were just what he'd come out to experience. He walked down the carefully laid path, smiling at the serenity he felt. 

    Xisuma was so caught up in the peacefulness of his surroundings that he almost missed the body.

    The body?

    -
    And
    -

    She drew a line next to the one she had made yesterday with the rock.

    2579.

    2579 days.

    That makes today…

     

    May 12.

    -
    Or
    -

    Snailblings try and find their way to each other, only with some extra twists and gay people

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    36,873
    Chapters:
    32/?
    Comments:
    87
    Kudos:
    267
    Bookmarks:
    31
    Hits:
    6,473
  12. Tags
    Summary

    What if Wifies never died?

    What if instead he had been watching, waiting, directing from the shadows?

    Have you ever wondered just how Saparata could afford so much netherite?

    ...

    Or: the au based on the events that happen after Parrot's video, Unstable SMP Civil War, leading up to the finale, where Parrot runs out of totems and finds himself on the brink of death fighting (running away from) Wemmbu, only to mysteriously find a fresh totem in his inventory.

    From that point forward, Parrot begins noticing strange things happening around him, whether it's a wither rose here or an instinctive feeling of being watched there, he knows for sure something is wrong.

    Then, when a mysterious stranger comes into his life, Parrot's entire worldview is flipped upside down.

    Could this be the work of Cindercrest...or something else?

    -

    (Parrot hits it off with a mysterious player whose identity absolutely no one knows whilst Theo gets majorly ragebaited and starts to genuinely lose his marbles)

    -

    (NOT SHIPPING THE IRL CONTENT CREATORS!!!!)

    (heavy wip)
    im so shit at summaries my god💔

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    23,354
    Chapters:
    8/20
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    278
    Kudos:
    737
    Bookmarks:
    77
    Hits:
    12,185
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Every neighbor Grian has had for years has been bad news.

    Never once has he had a tolerable experience with one.

    So what happens when a new man moves in, a new man who is honestly quite pleasant to be around?

    -

    Grian gets a new neighbor and is extremely reluctant to accept that it's a good person for once. He's also extremely reluctant to accept the thoughts spinning a bit too quickly around in his brain, throwing around ideas that really shouldn't be there.

    Scar just wants a new friend :)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,463
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    29
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    201
  14. Tags
    Summary

    4 hated being trapped, being observed and treated like an animal. The voice in its head, contracting everything it said, also certainly did NOT help.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,360
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    17
    Kudos:
    46
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    192
  15. Tags
    Summary

    An event was going around Strength SMP, 6 overpowered weapons hidden around a dense forest. Every member was trying to find it, for power? Surely. For good use? Possibly not. Many events happened and Jude just happened to face it all. It ended off him getting close to the end of his fate if it weren’t for a specific blonde to save him, barely.
    OR
    Jude has the survival instincts of an ant and just got aura lost 3 times, then Sharpness decides to save his ass before it was too late.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,930
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    20
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    220
  16. Tags
    Summary

    There’s a lot to work on in terms of pre-production for what might be the biggest project in Hetch’s entire career, and carefully crafting Ranboo into the Hero is a task in and of itself.

    What is it like growing up with expectations you know you have but are entirely ignorant of? To be constantly chasing a goal that you aren’t even aware you’re trying to reach, and no memory of who you what even led you up to this point? It’s a question that Ranboo can’t even begin to answer.

    (Updates Sundays)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    36,198
    Chapters:
    13/21
    Comments:
    50
    Kudos:
    15
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    306
  17. Tags
    Summary

    "The phone is ringing again. When will it stop?

    This loop doesn’t change much. He goes to breakfast. He goes to the observation deck. He skips lunch. He goes back to his room.

    The door bursts in. And the world goes dark."

    or, technoblade is an extremely unreliable narrator stuck in a time loop

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,619
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    4
    Hits:
    27
  18. Tags
    Summary

    “Sometimes people live for love, and sometimes people die for it. But nobody ever knows what category they’ll fall into until they have to choose. And you can’t force their hand.”

    Grian is chosen by his district to participate in the 25th annual Hunger Games. He is angry, and ready to do anything to survive – even if that means driving a trident through the throat of Scar Goodtimes, his former best friend and the man who volunteered to die beside him.

    For Scar, it wasn’t much of a choice, really. Choosing to follow Grian into the arena. Scar’s life is expendable, and he’d be damned if Grian doesn't make it home. But this year, the games are…different. The Quarter Quell always comes with surprises, after all.

    So, in an arena where love can be just as deadly as a weapon, what happens if you accidentally kill the person you’re trying to save?

    (or, a 3rd life hunger games au, what could possibly go wrong?)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    87,388
    Chapters:
    22/?
    Comments:
    224
    Kudos:
    168
    Bookmarks:
    27
    Hits:
    4,038
  19. Tags
    Summary

    "AJ!"

    One of the most irritating voices in the Academy barked out her name.

    Teacher's Pet.

    Hazily, AJ turned her head and lifted up to her seat, Flick flying overhead. The dim lights of the pub made it hard to see, vision worsened by the blurriness of AJ's eyes and her tired body as she exhaled lowly, not wanting to engage in whatever conversation was sure to take place.

    Ros stormed towards her with a look of determination. A weird one, sure, mixed with worry, anger, and annoyance, but one all the same.

    "Teacher's Pet!" AJ called out, lazily raising her hand in a quiet hello. "What brings you to my, uh, humble abode?"

    OR

    Ros interrupts AJ's drinking time to project her insecurities onto her again, and AJ does not let that slide.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,041
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    55
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    159
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Teaser for a 1920s longfic/series of long-ish fics I'm super excited about! Sorry, despite the title it's not about phm, it's about Irish Catholicism.

    Scar is a veteran of World War One, and struggles with deep mental and physical trauma. Grian helps him through a panic attack triggered by a loud crack of thunder. Grian is Irish Catholic, and the only rhythmic thing he can think of to calm Scar down is a prayer. Also it's not explicitly stated, but Grian is a trans man and that's how he dodged the draft.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    823
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    16
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    59

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