TheDamselfly



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    “Go?” Rozanov repeats, and Shane thinks he manages to nod, thinks he manages to spin some kind of excuse that he knows Rozanov doesn’t really buy, but he needs to go. He needs to get out of here. He needs to find somewhere quiet and calm where he can ride out this panic and painful tightness until he can catch his breath again. He needs-

    He needs to go.

    “I’m sorry,” he says, turning heel and resisting the urge to just book it right for the front door only because he’d rather not have to explain to Hayden why he returned from a hookup with Boston Lily in men’s clothes that he certainly didn’t leave in.

    It’s not until he makes it halfway up the stairs to Rozanov’s bedroom that it occurs to him in a cold rush that it isn’t just anxiety that makes it this hard to breathe.

    “No,” he tells himself firmly, white knuckling the bannister and trying to take a deep breath just to prove that he can.

    It wheezes.

    (how the tuna meltdown is averted through the power of food allergies and anaphylaxis)

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    14 Jun 2026

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    19 May 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Part 26

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    “I think we need a plan.”

    “I thought we have a plan?” Ilya asked, gruffly, his brow furrowing in confusion.

    “I just mean…” Shane’s face was serious; his eyes were doing that puppy-dog thing that Ilya couldn’t resist, where they looked earnest and soft and serious all at once. "What if we didn’t wait to come out? Rather than waiting until we retire. Maybe, I don’t know, stopped hiding quite so much and just… let people figure it out, eventually.”


    Changing the Narrative, or; Hollander and Rozanov's Guide to a Gentle Take-Off

    Shane and Ilya are done hiding. Coming out, however, is another story. Between family, friends, fans, teammates, and a league still grappling with inclusivity, changing the narrative might just prove more complicated than they expected.

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    03 May 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    14

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    “Y-you want me to be a girl?”

    Ilya rubbed the base of one of his thumbs with the other. Seeing Ilya’s shyness so plainly made Shane’s nose twitch.

    “No, not all the time,” Ilya said after a moment. “And not if you don’t want to. Never if you don’t want to. I just . . . I think about it, sometimes.”

    ***

    Ilya loves his life and his husband. But lately, he's found himself missing girls. Luckily, Shane is happy to indulge this fantasy.

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    12 Jun 2026

  5. Public Bookmark 89

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    There they sat at their table, in their kitchen, in their home. Approaching a decade of stumbling around one another to land in something that looked — as far as Ilya was concerned — a hell of a lot like for better or for worse.
    ____

    the trans Shane Hollander AU, extended.

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    25 Apr 2026

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