ErissTheMean
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It’s so easy to kill humans.
Techno would know, since he does it for a living.
It’s very easy to kill them, scare them, chase them, crush their brittle little bones when his rot overtakes their bodies. That doesn’t mean it’s any less annoying when one starts messing with his hunting grounds.
Technoblade huffed through his snout and lumbered through the woods in the direction where he felt another human trash. He didn’t have a lot of time, so he intended for this one to be a quick snack for fungi and his brothers. It would be easy.
His steps rattled the earth, he wasn’t trying to be stealthy this time. It didn’t apparently matter because the human was completely oblivious to anything happening around him.
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Or: Human Philza gets reverse adopted by a bunch of cryptids- with only a little bit of attempted murder! -
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If you asked Phil about gods, he would say that all gods are bastards.
Well, maybe beside Lady Death, as he is very happily married to her but the rest could crash and burn and he would clap for their demise.
Before, he allowed the worship of them in his country. He was a King who only prayed to one but he knew that his subjects weren’t the same. So he held the worships, he allowed the festivities, he sent animals to sacrifice. It was good. Till gods decided to ‘punish’ him.
______Directly inspired by Minotaur myth but instead of slaying the monster, we will have some dark adoption :3
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No matter how high end dining a restaurant was, if the boss was a dickhead, there was no saving for the staff.
Scratch that. If a restaurant served and modeled itself after high end experience but the boss was a cheapskate who allowed street rats like Wilbur and Technoblade to work for him, then there was no saving for the staff.
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Or: I watched some clips of Gordon Ramsey being nice to staff and gossiping and this somehow spawned. Also known as, even in restaurant au I will find a way to make it mafia -
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“You just… have to work your snake charm on the nobles. Help us out. If they find anything, and they will, we’re like sitting ducks. Ready for hunt, nothing more, nothing else. If you can… If you just manage… So at least Essempi doesn’t fucking murder us in our sleep.”
Wilbur choked on his own breath. Impossible. It was impossible, he couldn’t mean that Soot, that Empire, that Essempi-!
“If they don’t take you, I don’t know how we will avoid full out war. You said it yourself, for fucks sake!”
Wilbur sobbed.
“I died. I think I died,” he breathed.
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Or: Wilbur Ash gets isekaid into a novel he hates, into a character he despises. As the new Wilbur Soot, his goal is simple: he has to survive. -
When the city life goes to Shit by ErissTheMean
Fandoms: Dream SMP, Stardew Valley (Video Game)
04 Mar 2026
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Phil gripped the letter harder and wished the ever lasting migraine to finally go away. They were going by bus to a middle of nowhere and yet even here they couldn’t escape crying children and Karen’s yammering through the phone.
His boys weren’t making the trip any easier.
He knew they weren’t the happiest with moving to Stardew but Phil was desperate at this point. They all needed a change.
His work at JoJa absolutely destroyed him mentally (maybe a little physically too but he was not going to admit to that, ever). Each day was sucking his soul more and more and when his supervisors decided to dock his pay for someone else's mistake, he nearly entered a meltdown. He didn’t at the time.
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Sbi Stardew Crossover. They all move to Stardew and I just write their little dramas. Some anxieties, some magic, some family feels, as per usual :3
Recent series
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- Words:
- 22,378
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 2
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Summary
An old and new version of the same fic- its dsbi cannibal family, Wilbur centric!
- Words:
- 8,989
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 2
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Three Vampire Sons by ErissTheMean
Fandom Dream SMP, Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
27 Feb 2026
- Words:
- 70,239
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 5
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- Words:
- 5,276
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 10
Recent bookmarks
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Against the Grain by LuckyLuoc
Fandoms: 人渣反派自救系统 - 墨香铜臭 | The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù
04 Sep 2021
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Shang Qinghua, Beta, part-time author, and full-time dumbass, wakes up in his Alpha boss's bed with no recollection of how he got there.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 27,545
- Chapters:
- 9/9
- Comments:
- 259
- Kudos:
- 4,332
- Bookmarks:
- 733
- Hits:
- 54,931
Bookmarked by ErissTheMean
06 Sep 2026
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The Peak Lord in Yellow by KotoneChou
Fandoms: 人渣反派自救系统 - 墨香铜臭 | The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù
04 Jul 2025
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Ever since the day the nameless prince met the cultivator with golden eyes and yellow robes, he had been aware of the monstrous thing in that cultivators shadow. Ever since he’d heard the whisper ‘this is the will of the heavens’, he’d known the truth about Shang Qinghua and his ‘System’
It did not matter if the shattered aspects of his primal god were preying upon each other. All that mattered was setting Shang Qinghua free.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 11,739
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 188
- Kudos:
- 1,297
- Bookmarks:
- 392
- Hits:
- 9,622
Bookmarked by ErissTheMean
31 Aug 2026
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Already In Progress by Ehann
Fandoms: 人渣反派自救系统 - 墨香铜臭 | The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù
04 Apr 2025
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The man that used to be Airplane Shooting Toward The Sky wakes in the middle of a meeting with a bunch of Xianxia looking types. A quick glance at his hands shows that he’s expertly holding a writing brush. In front of him is traditional ink in an inkstone.
His hands are bigger than they used to be, and turning them over, Airplane finds strange calluses. Neatly trimmed nails (Airplane is a nail biter) make him shake his head.
“Does Shang Shidi have something to add?” Someone says from across the table.
Airplane looks around, waiting for Shang Shidi to answer. After a moment, it occurs to him that Shang shidi… might possibly be…him. Airplane is starting to get a baaad feeling, okay?
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 60,387
- Chapters:
- 16/16
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- 1,949
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- 2,921
- Bookmarks:
- 754
- Hits:
- 41,861
Bookmarked by ErissTheMean
26 Aug 2026
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Men Fear Me, Fish Want Me by Koiichaser_lucorinth
Fandoms: 人渣反派自救系统 - 墨香铜臭 | The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù
28 Sep 2023
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Summary
It could have been worse.
Yeah, it could have been worse. In the way that falling into a frying pan was technically better than falling into the flames underneath. There were surely worse realities to transmigrate into than this one. Like, he wasn’t a slave.
...Because slaves were human.
He was a fish.
Well. ‘Domesticated Mer’.
A pet. Sentient, yet ownable. A status symbol.
What was that? Slaves were considered less than human too?
Aish! This wasn’t the time for splitting hairs! This was the time for internally wailing, lamenting, and raging at the shitty heavens!
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Shang Qinghua thought it was bad enough when he transmigrated into the life of someone’s pet, but then he found himself crammed into a cargo hold as a gift for a noble overseas. When the ocean turned treacherous and the crew turned their hungry eyes on him, he never expected what happened next, nor how meeting a wild mer would flip his new life upside down.Series
- Part 1 of Mershang
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 25,971
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 265
- Kudos:
- 3,693
- Bookmarks:
- 896
- Hits:
- 32,969
Bookmarked by ErissTheMean
22 Aug 2026
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Open Doors by diamondbruise
Fandoms: 人渣反派自救系统 - 墨香铜臭 | The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù
09 Dec 2024
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Summary
It only occurred to him now after getting stuck inside. ‘The Caves of, uh, Something’ was not even a fully published story! More of a draft, really! And why was it happening to him and Mobei Jun instead of Luo Binghe and a hot ice demon babe? There were elements of this storyline that definitely needed a completely different dynamic than the one he had with his king!
or, sqh and mbj get trapped in a wife plot
Bookmarked by ErissTheMean
16 Aug 2026