KnivesInFeet
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Recent works
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Save Us, Michael Bolton! by KnivesInFeet for WellSussed (drcfxtina)
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV) RPF, Real Person Fiction
12 Aug 2025
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Summary
Michael Bolton once sang a song about pirates that went viral. Can he do it again—and maybe save his favorite TV show of all time, Our Flag Means Death, in the process?
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Stede has no idea what he’s looking at, at first. Only that it’s huge, purple, and . . . tentacular? A big round pouch in the middle filled with blobby spheres, and eight long tendrils sticking out in different directions. If pressed, Stede might describe it as looking like a cephalopod that’s gorged itself on taro boba tea before crawling into his new freezer to die.
Or: Stede Bonnet finds a weird ice pack in his new apartment's freezer. Suddenly, the former tenant is running over to pick it up--very, very fast. (Who could it be?)
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“That one with the leather and the hair, he’s getting cast for sure.”
“Oh, yeah. Doesn’t even matter if you can actually bake, when you look like that!”
“He’ll be this year’s Chigs, or Sandro. Everyone’s flavor, you know?”When Ed Teach gets cast on The Great British Bake Off, he understands the assignment. Look hot on camera, banter with the judges, bake memorable shit.
He isn’t there to make trouble. He isn't there to make friends.
And he certainly isn’t there to fall in love with fellow baker Stede Bonnet.
Recent bookmarks
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Stede is beside himself when he's hired to acquire and restore the infamous sword of Blackbeard, the scourge of the Caribbean and Stede's childhood obsession. He didn't expect that the sword would come with the ghost of Blackbeard attached, for Blackbeard to be so interested in him, nor for his simple offer to help Blackbeard's soul move on open the gates to a relationship right out of his deepest fantasies.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 69,217
- Chapters:
- 12/12
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 529
- Kudos:
- 551
- Bookmarks:
- 145
- Hits:
- 8,112
Bookmarked by KnivesInFeet
27 Sep 2026
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Summary
Five times Ed and Stede got off alone, and one time they got off together.
Or, Season 1 retold via the medium of wanks.
Bookmarked by KnivesInFeet
23 Nov 2025
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Stede and Ed are not having sex.
To the uninformed, the things they do together may strongly resemble sex, but Stede knows better.
This is just mutual stress relief between two professional, platonic, regular, normal co-captains.
Bookmarked by KnivesInFeet
18 Nov 2025
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Of Leap Years and Lighthouses by Temporal_discounting
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
23 Aug 2025
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Summary
In Ed's experience, there's nothing quite so effective at snuffing out a crush than the disappointment of a mediocre roll in the hay.
So, Ed has a plan: One quick fuck to get this crush on Stede out of his system.
It's a good plan. Solid, simple, and definitely, one hundred per cent foolproof.
Right?
Bookmarked by KnivesInFeet
23 Aug 2025
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suck around & find out by Baby_kraken, sparklespriggs (nerolinks)
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
18 Jul 2025
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Summary
Stoover has been making eyes at Ed from beneath the stairs all afternoon. Since Stede has abandoned him, left him bored and lonely and horny, whatever else is Ed supposed to do?
(Or, Ed debates a hard-hitting moral dilemma; is he cheating on his husband if he fucks a hoover with the same name?)