xamestria



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane and Ilya have written their own vows for the wedding.

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    “I cannot stop thinking about him. This slow fucking hockey player with the freckles. Since we were seventeen in Saskatchewan. In that car park. I cannot stop thinking about him. That car park and the gym that night after draft pick and all the hotel rooms and All Stars and all of my texts you never answered and all of the ones you did.” He takes a breath, confesses. “And when I drank a whole bottle of vodka after I won the Stanley Cup to stop myself from fucking texting you.
    “Was a terrible problem, then. When I was twenty. And twenty-two and twenty-four. Twenty-five. And I would think, this is going to kill me. I would think, then, that maybe I had spent more time wanting to see you when I could not than I had spent doing anything else. Even hockey.”

    ----

    Is Ilya going to tell Shane he has a weak backhand in their wedding vows? Yes, yes he is. Will Shane speak Russian? Did he secretly get help from Svetlana to prep for this? Is anyone going to mention the secret sex condo? Can Ilya avoid having to thank Scott Hunter in his actual vows? He’s certainly going to try.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,699
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    48
    Kudos:
    876
    Bookmarks:
    176
    Hits:
    4,532

    13 Jun 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Ilya still loves a terrible decision. Nearly ten years of exposure to Shane just mean that now, the terrible decision comes with a plan. This time it comes with bullet pointed lists, research. Fresh ideas scribbled late at night and stuck, one over the other, onto the fridge door.

    This crucial, terrible decision comes with deliberation and forethought and a twelve-step fucking plan.

    A plan that starts with ‘attend every game he can between the women’s league’s rivals-turned-wives Clara and Katya’ and ends with ‘kiss Shane on the mouth at center ice.’

    Because Icarus has nothing on Ilya fucking Rozanov. The internet is not ready. Yuna is going to have his head for this. Step one begins on Friday. He cannot fucking wait.

    --

    Half Ilya Rozanov POV and half social media fic tracking the chaos, managed and otherwise, that is unleashed as Ilya enacts his plan.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,896
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    277
    Kudos:
    4,347
    Bookmarks:
    884
    Hits:
    25,440

    13 Jun 2026

  3. Public Bookmark 8

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    When Hermione Granger, bitter over Ron’s relationship with Lavender, scribbles a vindictive wish on a joke-shop Wishing Parchment, she expects nothing but a moment of spiteful fantasy. But the next morning, Ron breaks up with Lavender and confesses his love for her. At first, it’s everything she wanted: he’s devoted, attentive, and utterly hers. Yet as Ron begins to warp into something unrecognisable, Hermione realises that some wishes don’t just come true—they consume. And Harry, watching his best friend vanish behind a stranger’s smile, will do anything to get him back.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    20,893
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    38
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    270

    10 Jun 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Forester (Admirals🔛🔝)
    So the true way to combat the Bisexual Russian Terminator isn’t with homophobia...
    It's actually with even more gay
    ...
    You're a goddamn genius.

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    The NHL rookies have joined forces to strategize now that two of the greatest hockey players of all time are on the same team and Ilya Rozanov must suffer from the unintended consequences of making hockey more woke.

    Mainly, the way everyone keeps implying that they want to fuck his husband.

    or: a group of rookies unionize and employ chirping as a form of psychological torture against a one Ilya Grigoryevich Rozanov.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,151
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    843
    Kudos:
    14,565
    Bookmarks:
    2,782
    Hits:
    83,101

    11 Jun 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Like a Record Baby (Will LaPointe): i keep thinking this is some sort of insane dream
    Like a Record Baby (Will LaPointe): but no. we got SHANE HOLLANDER.
    Like a Record Baby (Will LaPointe): because of HOMOPHOBIA!
    Sherlock Holmes (Carter Holmberg): rare homophobia win
    Shane Hollander: Well let’s not go that far.
    El Capitan (Ilya Rozanov): holmberg please refrain from being pro homophobia in the group chat or shane will report you to management

    --

    Or: Shane's first season on the Ottawa Centaurs, as told through a number of increasingly unhinged texts

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    77,160
    Chapters:
    12/13
    Comments:
    2,421
    Kudos:
    8,776
    Bookmarks:
    1,430
    Hits:
    187,962

    07 Jun 2026