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Milan Protocols by Anonymous for ThePromptWasntThisLong (shredded_potato)
Fandoms: Men's Hockey RPF
28 Mar 2026
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Jet-lagged and bored with nothing to do, Team Canada’s Olympic Men’s Hockey Team is left entirely unsupervised. Big mistake. A discovery by Marner (“Look, man, do they not look alike? Sid is like the male version of Jennifer Garner.”) puts Brad Marchand on a mission, with Cale Makar as his delighted co-conspirator, to poll every single teammate on one pressing question:
Who’s prettier? Sidney Crosby or Jennifer Garner?
Half the national team is having a crisis. Nathan MacKinnon is considering arson.
Series
- Part 7 of My Anonymous SidNate Fics
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Nate only discovered he liked watching someone hold their piss until they lost it, because Cale has an insufferably small bladder. This is the story of how he deals with it over the Olympics. Or tries to deal with it.
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The hand that sifts through his hair is gentle, and Nate angles back, relaxing as blunt nails glance across his scalp. Yeah, fuck yeah, he’s so into this. The soft morning-after shit is the absolute best.
Nate—giddy at being free to touch—goes for it with euphoric abandon, reaches out to grab a hold of that ten-out-of-ten-absolutely-zero-notes ass.
God damn.
“For what it’s worth, I think you’re handsome, too.”
Nate drags in a deep breath, satisfaction—a craving satiated—warming him as his eyes slip closed. He's full to the brim, content, wants to hang suspended here forever. It's a second, maybe two before he hears the clearing of a throat, and it sends him rocketing back to reality. His gaze snags on his laptop, eyesight blurring with sudden, narrowed focus. The tiny light indicating that his camera is active and recording is glowing, taunting in sour apple green.
Fuck.
Jesus fucking, fuck-all, fuck.
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Cale has been crushing on Nate since he joined the Avs, but Nate's been dating Sid for as long as anyone can remember. Because of that, Cale is dreading going to the Four Nations Tournament since he'll be forced to deal with Nate and Sid being together in person for a few weeks. Unfortunately, it's not exactly an option to skip the tournament, so he's just going to have to figure out how to handle the whole situation.
Series
- Part 92 of Men's Hockey RPF
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I Know the Pain That You Hide Behind the Smile on Your Face [REWRITE] by JukkeArchv
Fandoms: Men's Hockey RPF
23 Feb 2025
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Cale is forced to fight a player and it causes a panic attack after his penalty causes them to loose the game. Nate finds out an underlying mental problem and is determined to help.
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“Fine, fine,” Gabe says nervously. “Let’s get this meeting started, then.” He clears his throat. “We’ve all been noticing our teammates’... situation, let’s say.”
Devon snorts.
“All of us here are close friends with the two of them, or have been impacted by their annoying behavior,” Gabe continues.
“You can say that again,” Jo mutters under his breath.
“So we need to come up with a plan to get them to stop dancing around each other,” Gabe concludes. “But I have no idea what else to do. I’ve tried everything. I sent them on romantic dinners. I got them to take a yoga class together, and the only thing that accomplished was them being annoyingly stretchy and going to yoga regularly. I even gifted them a helicopter tour of the mountains together thinking it would be a nice romantic adventure and nothing happened. I need your help.”
“Can’t we just talk to them about it?” Sammy asks.
Mikko chimes in. “I tried that, and Nate just laughed at me for a long time and then left the locker room.”
“I tried it too,” Josh says. “Cale just gave me a weird look.”
“But they would be so good together,” Ross says. “I don’t understand why they won’t listen to us. It’s ridiculous.”
Series
- Part 91 of Men's Hockey RPF
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“I’m fucking exhausted,” Cale groans in the middle of training camp, squirting water over his face. Nate frowns. It’s too early to be exhausted - the season hasn’t even started yet. “Just, like, thinking about playing 82 games - all the travel, the hotels, the late nights - fuck.”
“Well, half of them are home games,” Nate reminds him.
Cale shrugs. “Still tired thinking about it all.”
“Some of the travel is fun,” Nate says. He grabs a bottle of water off the bench and drinks half of it.
“Fun?” Cale says skeptically. “We’re shuttled from city to city. We stay in hotels that look identical everywhere and only leave to get on the bus to go to the arenas. What’s fun about that?”
“Well, it could be fun. If we tried.”
*********
Nate makes it his mission to find (at least) one fun thing to do in every city they have to travel to for hockey after Cale tells him it's not possible. The only issue is that Nate's massive crush on Cale gets impossibly bigger with every "date" they go on.
Series
- Part 82 of Men's Hockey RPF
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Nate grabs the mail on the way up to his condo, rifling through it to see if anything interesting is there. A couple of bills, a lot of junk, and a wedding invitation. Cale had mentioned these were going out soon, so Nate’s not surprised to see it. What is surprising, though, is the way it’s addressed; curling script along the front has Nate’s address fully correct, of course, but the name on it is unexpected. Or, rather, the names. Mr. Nathan MacKinnon and Mr. Jonathan Drouin.
Series
- Part 83 of Men's Hockey RPF
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Nate chatters as he drives them to their new place, then helps them unload their bags. “I’ll leave you guys to get settled in,” he says. “But if you want to come over for dinner, you’re always welcome. If not, I texted you both some good takeout places in the area. The rest of your stuff will be here in a couple days, right? Cale and I can stop by to help you unpack.”
“Thanks, Nate. You don’t have to do that,” Jo says. He’s also slightly confused as to why Cale would help - he’s never even met the guy. He’s heard good things about his new teammate, though, mostly about how he’s humble and kind and hardworking, so maybe that’s just a thing Cale does, helping random people move.
“It’s no problem,” Nate says happily. “We’ll be here. See ya,” he turns toward the door to leave.
“Nathan, you can’t take our child with you,” Jo says, laughing.
Nate fake-pouts as he hands over the toddler. “Not fair.”
“Get your own.”
“Rude,” Nate says, grinning as he leaves.
***********
Jo moves to Denver, and Cale is being a huge asshole to him for reasons he can't quite figure out.
Series
- Part 81 of Men's Hockey RPF
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“Are you attracted to me?” Cale asks impatiently, waiting for a response.
“I - yeah, I guess,” Nate says.
“Ok. Good. I think we should have sex.”
Nate chokes on nothing, coughing and spluttering. “What?”
“You heard me,” Cale says.
Series
- Part 79 of Men's Hockey RPF
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Cale unlocks the door and slips inside. He slides off his shoes, then bends over to pick them up to place them in the closet next to the door. He glances down at his phone - Tazer texted him, so he starts tapping out a message while walking towards the living room before promptly tripping over a giant pair of sneakers left in the hallway, landing sprawled on his ass on the floor.
“What the fuck,” he hisses from the ground. “Nate, how many fucking times do I have to ask you to put your shoes in the fucking closet?”
Series
- Part 78 of Men's Hockey RPF
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Jo glances down at the caller and is shocked to see Nate’s name. He and Nate haven’t spoken in years aside from the occasional text. They definitely hadn’t spoken on the phone in a long time, not since their first year apart, Nate blowing up the NHL and Jo stuck back in Halifax.
“Hello?” Jo says tentatively.
“Hey,” Nate says easily. “It’s Nate.”
“Hi,” Jo replies. They both fall into awkward silence.
“How are you doing?” Nate finally asks. “Summer going ok?”
“It’s fine,” Jo says. “Long offseason, you know how it goes. How - uh, how are you?”
“Really good,” Nate says, and Jo can hear the smile on his face. “Actually, I’m in Ibiza right now with some of the guys. Chilling on the beach, sleeping in, super relaxing.”
Series
- Part 75 of Men's Hockey RPF
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The Canadian Prime Minister’s son Cale Makar is kidnapped in a coordinated attack. A group of mercenaries is hired to bring him back.
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The cursor blinks menacingly in the Google search bar as Cale tries to figure out what to type. It feels accusatory somehow, like the cursor knows his secret. Cale shakes his head - he’s being ridiculous and he knows it. The search bar isn’t judging him. Still, he switches over to an incognito tab before continuing. Better to be safe than sorry, right?
Everything that pops in his head to type in feels either too juvenile or too X-rated. He taps his fingers on the edge of his laptop, hoping that a reasonable search parameter comes to him.
Series
- Part 69 of Men's Hockey RPF
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“Nothing with my face,” Nate reminds them with a resigned sigh. Gabe and Mikko have stolen his phone and they’re setting up a Grindr account for him, against Nate’s better judgment.
“We’re not stupid,” Gabe says. “Anyway, all we need to post is your abs and you’ll be drowning in… dick?”
Nate snorts. Gabe is good-hearted, and Nate’s lucky to have two friends who accepted him so easily, but Gabe’s always fumbling his words when he has to talk about Nate’s sex life.
“Here, look at this picture,” Mikko instructs Gabe. “Perfect, no?”
“Yeah, definitely, let’s add that one.”
Nate’s not really sure how this happened. He and Gabe and Mikko had been drinking together, and suddenly it turned into how sad it is that Nate is still single. Nate’s not sure why they think Grindr is going to help with this, exactly, considering it’s more for hookups than anything serious, but he’s tipsy enough to go along with it. Anyway, he can delete the app in the morning.
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Nate is so, so single. He's also been hung up on Cale for months, maybe even years. Gabe and Mikko make him a Grindr account to help him get over his crush, and he ends up falling for Bobby
Series
- Part 63 of Men's Hockey RPF
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Miles takes a deep breath before getting out of his car. Seven full seasons with the Devils, and he had decided to leave. He brought this on himself. The first day at a new job jitters, the anxiety, the feeling of being unsure and out of place - it’s all his own fault.
The thing is, Jersey was never gonna do it. At least, it didn’t seem like they could go all the way. Miles had watched as the Avs had won it all, and sure, last season didn’t go great for them and the team is different now than how it was when they won the Cup and nothing is guaranteed, but Miles thinks this is the closest thing to winning it all that he can have. The Avs’ core is absolutely insane, and Miles is lucky to be part of this team now.
All of that doesn’t stop him from wanting to get back in his car and drive as fast as he can in the other direction.
Series
- Part 57 of Men's Hockey RPF
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Ross throws his helmet on the ground with as much force as he can. It had all happened so fast. The hit on Luke was fine, really. Maybe worth the two minute minor they gave him, but honestly it wasn’t even that bad. Cross-checking Timo in the face had been…
It wasn’t his best look, he can admit that, but Timo was coming for him. Ross had just reacted.
Now, on top of all of the other penalties happening, they have an extra seven minutes to kill. Without him, because he had gotten kicked from the game. He sinks to the bench and puts his head in his hands just in time to hear the sound of a goal horn, a groan from the crowd. Great. The Devils had already scored.
Series
- Part 54 of Men's Hockey RPF
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Five times new Avs players couldn't figure out why Nate and Cale were being so weird together, and one time the mystery was solved
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- Part 52 of Men's Hockey RPF
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Nate wakes up hungover to find out that pictures of him making out with a guy are circulating the internet. PR tells him he has to pretend to have a boyfriend until the situation dies down, and Cale stumbles into the role.
Series
- Part 51 of Men's Hockey RPF
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Series
- Part 45 of Men's Hockey RPF