the things that couldn't have been if you hadn't have been
why would you say i was the last one—last one? | a collection of things that have destroyed me, in their own little way. mostly k/c-drama fics (read: beyond evil + the devil judge), among others. collection name and title taken from Joanna Newsom's Only Skin.
(Open, Moderated)
Recent works
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After completing his service, An Junho gets a new job.
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You Taste Like Suburbia by CannibalGender
Fandoms: Interview with the Vampire (TV 2022), Anne Rice's Talamasca: The Secret Order (TV 2025)
31 Dec 2025
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“We aren’t together anymore,” he says. He does not ask if she overheard, simply arches his brows, waits for her to speak. “I only wanted to observe.”
“Mhmm. Fuck you,” she says, halfheartedly. “Observe what, us?”
“I wanted to see him where he belongs. Among his…peers, you could say.”
“With me? With the girls? He doesn’t belong to me. I wouldn’t want him to. He doesn’t even belong with me. As far as I’m concerned, you can have him.”
Armand, looking less the boy than ever now, narrows his eyes just slightly. He studies her like a stray animal trying to figure out how to open a garbage can: if he can just understand, he can feast. “Why? You love him.”OR:
Armand, famously normal about his partners' families, haunts the Molloys. -
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Spending long hours working at the Supreme Court isn't anything new for Judge Oh, and neither is going out for an emergency food run when she realizes she's missed dinner.
It is, however, the first time she sees someone about to be assaulted. She can't just sit back and watch.
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in hell the units are the gallon and the fuck by shineforthee
Fandoms: Interview with the Vampire (TV 2022)
29 Oct 2025
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Survival is an artform.
Armand has been an unwilling student, an eager acolyte, a master of the craft.The things he feels can be broken down into component parts. Can be simplified into anatomic essentials, the series of processes required to make him something that functionally resembles the likeness of man. Sensation without thought. Water-damp brushstrokes dragging across a canvas with no paint. No color. No light.
Leaving Dubai was an act of necessity, arriving anywhere else an act of apathy.
In which Daniel attempts to make sense of the past and Armand attempts to do whatever the opposite of that is.
Series
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Fight, Flight, Freeze by exsanguinate (transjon), graiai, This_world_of_beautiful_monsters
Fandoms: Interview with the Vampire (TV 2022)
19 Sep 2025
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Three authors, three imaginings of Armand’s much-belated reunion with his maker.
Fight: This is a song about the liberational aspects of grammar. By graiai.
Flight: Not so much an anatomy of a fall as a carefully categorized dismemberment. By This_world_of_beautiful_monsters.
Freeze: Armand, in the bed he made. By exsanguinate (transjon).
Recent bookmarks
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“Oh, Vincent,” Bellini laughs with genuine mirth, if not warmth. “The curia may be a wasp’s nest, but we aren’t a pack of lemmings. No one is competing for that poisoned chalice. Even Thomas would merely accept it. He would accept anything, from your hand. But you’d never do such a thing to him.”
“But you think I’d do it to you.” Vincent smiles. “Aldo, nobody is going to be sacrificed. Not in this century. Not if I can help it.”
Bookmarked by yououghtnot (hallawrites)
19 Apr 2026
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My brother, he would say, go on and love him. For it was love that saved you.
(You know how I am, how I was. I didn’t know I could love you.)
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Take me back so I can take you home (The peace of Garden Eden) by FrozenBrownie
Fandoms: Conclave (2024)
25 Mar 2025
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Thomas hadn’t meant to buy engagement rings on a Thursday in New York City.
Alternatively: The one in which Thomas Lawrence steps in front of a gun pointed at Vincent Benítez, the papal American roadtrip takes a sharp left faced with US politics, and the pining for Aldo Bellini is starting to look like divine intervention; not necessarily in that order.
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Как ни клишировано это звучит, на первый взгляд кажется, что Альдо спит.
Bookmarked by yououghtnot (hallawrites)
02 Feb 2026
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All that is left is an envelope with his name.
(Vincent is not Jesus, and Aldo is not Lazarus, and the miracle does not happen.)
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Finally, they arrive at the homily. Benítez is much briefer than his predecessor. And yet, his speech feels fuller, somehow. He pins them all under the darkness of his gaze. When his eyes land on Aldo, he feels as if Benítez has stripped him bare, that he can see the horrible, green monster that writhes beneath his breast. He speaks of love and light, a desire to move them forward into the future while paying homage to the past. Aldo feels trapped in that damned vote, watching the world crumble under his feet.
The morning after Vincent Benítez is elected Pope Innocent XIV, Aldo Bellini attends morning mass. He tries to grapple with the scale of everything he's lost to Benítez: his role as Secretary of State, the Papacy, and Thomas Lawrence.
Or, the one where Aldo is still sore about the conclave, and he has to navigate his new place in the Curia while trying to sort out his feelings for Thomas and Vincent. They all have feelings about this, separately, and then together.
Series
- Part 1 of Salva Me
- Language:
- English
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- 52,336
- Chapters:
- 17/20
- Comments:
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- Bookmarks:
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Bookmarked by yououghtnot (hallawrites)
20 Jan 2026
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(Aldo's going to vomit. He’s going to vomit here, in front of the Curia, live-streamed to thousands. He’s going to ruin himself. Benítez has seen down to the core of his soul. God has seen him.)
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When Thomas Lawrence came by the papal apartments that evening, he came, unsurprisingly, with a bundle of papers under his arm.
Vincent tried on and discarded four separate teasing comments about it, but didn’t get to decide on one before Thomas silently handed them over, and he realized they were newspapers, opened and refolded over the weekly comics, his favorite. Three of them, one for each week he’d been away.
Ah, he thought, with the feeling of a sudden hard deceleration in his chest, the press it put on his heart. Ah. All right then.
Bookmarked by yououghtnot (hallawrites)
18 Jan 2026
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(...he put his face against his neck and looked past him into the gilt marble presence of the Holy Spirit, and Vincent Benítez, crude and folkish, bared all his teeth. You may have every part of me but this, he thought. This is mine alone.)