Chapter Text
Freckles and moles.
Will and Mike were best friends, Mike recognized his feelings the second they launched, Will, on the other hand, tried to hide them the second he felt that flutter in his stomach every time Mike looked at him. Mike knows that Will is hiding something but never presses further than a question or two.
Will used to be a romantic jerk and a good friend, he always looked out for everyone, but he had a special spot for Mike. Will saw Mike like a dear friend for a very long time, but lately he’s been struggling with weird thoughts about his fate, and the point of those was Mike. And his stupid freckles that looked like stars on his skin.
Mike used to be an asshole with everyone except Will, he had a soft spot for him, he loved his best friend, he always looked at that little mole on Will’s face or that soft blush over his cheeks. He had a few weird thoughts as well, he used to try harder to hide them, but his feelings creeped up behind him without even knowing. He wasn’t afraid of addressing them. But Will was, he really was.
Will hated himself, he felt disgusted, he knew he liked boys since he was young, he knew his family and friends supported him, he knew he was loved, but does that matter when you still feel like a mistake?
One of them, Mike, is driving down the street as fast as he can, he doesn’t dare to commit another mistake, he can’t bring himself to lose Will again. And there’s Will, he can't bear the mere thought of never seeing Mike again, so he runs down the stairs out of that stupid church.
But let's start from the beginning, shall we
· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·
A soft glow decorated the sky with soft shades of pink, yellow and orange, Mike was riding his bike to Will’s house. It was a warm day, almost night, a cute sunset followed him behind, the soft wind caressed his curls.
He arrived and knocked a few times on the door—three, to be exact. Will opened the door and a soft expression appeared on his face. His cheeks were slightly pink, his sleeves rolled up, he had a light brown apron on, it had paint stains, some were old, some looked pretty fresh.
“Mike,” Will whispered with a soft voice.
“Will,” Mike responded with a firm voice, he had a smile. “Interrupted something between you and a canvas?” He chuckled gently.
“Come in,” Will said, “I was about to take a break anyways.”
Mike left his bike outside and walked in, feeling at ease in less than a second. It looked like Will had been alone for hours and he spent those in a beautiful painting. Mike looked at it and felt his whole body softening before going back to his usual harshness.
“This one hits deep.” Mike said with a quiet expression.
“You think so? It’s not finished though, I’m still trying to fix a few things with shadows and all that, you know, artist stuff,” Will’s eyes shone with genuine passion.
“I see, you’re very talented, you know? I don’t know if I ever told you that before,” Mike’s voice was even softer now, just as his gaze.
“You tell me that every single day, Mike,” Will chuckled gently.
“Oh, that’s funny, must be true then. I still have that painting over my wall, the one you gave me, with the red dragon and the party,” Mike talked about it with certain unconcern, but deep inside he cared about it, he loved it.
“You’re serious?” Will’s eyes lit up with something that Mike wasn’t able to name, but they looked gentle, bright, full of that.
“I am, Will,” Mike answered honestly, without any filter, he hated filters, he loved to communicate with Will, at least about his talent.
By this point, both of them felt weird inside, they used to mask their feelings so well, but now? Mike swore he saw through Will’s eyes directly into his soul, he noticed something in his eyes, and Will assured he noticed something in Mike’s. Will also saw Mike’s lower lip quivering. They saw something they couldn’t name yet.
It’s true, there’s something. Spending a whole life loving your best friend without wanting to accept it hurts like hell. Twenty-four years without feeling comfortable with your own desires, with your stupid and unrequited feelings. Those words were a daily torture inside Will’s mind.
Will shook his head to get out of his trance, Mike followed right behind.
“You know you can talk to me, right?” Mike’s voice was still soft.
Will’s body stiffened, he suddenly felt see through, he hated that feeling, he hated to be that easy to read. With a defensive tone, he asked back.
“Why do you say that all of the sudden?” His eyes weren’t shiny anymore.
“I don’t know,” Mike shrugged. “Just… felt right- sorry, I must be saying stupid stuff now, don’t worry.”
“Are you high, Wheeler?” Will chuckled.
“What?” Mike’s gaze landed on Will’s with a serious expression. “I am definitely not high, Will. What is wrong with you these days? You seem off, weirded out by everything.”
Will’s soft smile vanished in an instant, he sighed softly. “Been painting and working, also studying, everything just has me in a chokehold. Sorry if you feel like—” a flick of worry flashed over his eyes, just for a brief second, “like I’m being weird or something. I swear everything is fine.”
But Mike knew his best friend.
However, he decided not to push anymore, just like he always did. “Fine, but still, just talk to me instead of doing… whatever this is, alright?”
“And what is this, Mike?” Will scoffed.
“Here We are, fighting again,” Mike sighed. “Will-”
“Don’t, okay? We’re not fighting, look- I’m sorry, I really am, I’m just tired.” Will sounded really exhausted, Mike could see how heavy his eyelids were.
Mike let out another sigh. “Fine,” he said. “You wanna rest and I wanna have a sleepover, does that mean I can stay for the night, right?”
A soft, stupid smile landed onto Will’s lips, that shine back into his eyes. He nodded gently and they got up at the same time to tidy up a few things. Mike offered himself to carry that beautiful painting to the room for storing paintings that Will used to have, but Will shook his head vigorously and grabbed it, their fingers brushing for a second.
Mike felt absolutely nothing.
Will felt like his chest was being torn apart.
“I’ll carry it, I swear I won’t die in the middle.” Mike chuckled.
“No, I insist, I prefer watching you clean the floor, there’s quite a lot of paint on it.” Will looked desperate.
Mike turned around, the floor was actually clean, but then Will moved his head slightly to the side to throw two small buckets of paint on the floor and smirked slightly.
“Okay, that’s actually not fair at all,” Mike crossed his arms, the sudden weight of the canvas made Will grip it firmer. “You can’t just use your powers to help yourself!” Mike chuckled gently.
“True, but it worked!” Will let out an amused chuckle and carried the painting to that stupid room.
Stupid room, stupid paintings, stupid me.
No one knew what was inside this room except for him, everyone thought that there were paintings and all that, which was true, but there’s also Will’s deepest desires, feelings, thoughts, memories, all plastered on canvases. Since he gave him that painting to Mike, he’s been investing his time in perfecting his technique to make his art look a bit softer, sometimes a bit harder, sometimes in between.
Will unlocked the door to place his canvas in there and then walked out, locking the door again. He hid the key in a special spot he only knew and went back with Mike, who was still cleaning the floor. Will couldn’t help but snort a little.
Mike glared up at him. “Are you kidding me, right? This is your fault! At least help me, can you?”
Will finally allowed himself to laugh softly and crouched to help him. Mike brushed a bit of paint with his index fingertip and stained Will’s nose, chuckling.
“Now your nose is blue,” Mike laughed. “You look funny.”
But Will did exactly the same, running his middle fingertip over a spot that still had paint and brushed Mike’s nose as well.
“Now your nose is yellow,” Will giggled. “And you look funnier.”
“Fair enough,” Mike smirked. “I hope this comes off.”
“Yeah, about that…” Will laughed when Mike's eyes widened.
Will was almost crying with laughter; in fact, some tears threatened to spill over as he watched Mike run to the bathroom to wash the paint. Mike laughed loudly when he noticed a soft halo around his nose, a few of his freckles were covered in that soft shade of yellow. He turned to look at Will and chuckled harder.
“You know you're gonna have a blue stain on your nose, don’t you?” Mike smiled.
“I know, oh God, I’m so-” Will couldn’t speak properly through his laugh, “God-” He chuckled. He calmed down eventually and tried to wash away the stain but it simply won’t go, far more noticeable than the yellow one. “Fucking stupid paint!”
And there it goes again, both of them laughed, just like they did when they were kids. Will looked at himself in the bathroom mirror, Mike was beside him, they looked at each other through it.
“Well, blue suits you,” Mike laughed gently. “It looks cool!”
Will’s cheeks lit up in a light pink, it contrasted pretty well with that soft blue stain, he turned to look at Mike, that’s when he figured out that they were way too close, but it felt right. “Yellow looks good on you,” he admitted softly.
“Now I don’t wanna take it off.” Mike said gently.
Will felt it again, he felt that.
Mike saw it again, he saw that.
Both of them saw something they couldn’t name yet. Again.
Will looked into Mike’s eyes, Mike did the same. None of them spoke for a few minutes. Mike had a soft expression on his face, watching closely how the blue halo sipped through Will’s soft skin. He wished, he yearned unconsciously to swim around Will’s skin like that blue paint did. Will had a serious expression, his shoulders were tense but his eyes were bright, looking directly at that yellow halo, how Mike’s freckles danced around it, they looked funny. Mike’s fingers twitched on his sides, Will’s arms jerked just slightly, both of them ached to touch each other’s noses. Mike’s lips parted, but a knock on the principal door shattered their moment.
Saved for now, Byers.
Will inhaled deeply before walking away to open the door, Mike was still in the bathroom, now looking at himself into the mirror. He looked so damn wasted. He didn't know why his heart was beating so hard against his ribs. Mike let the water run in the sink to splash his face with it, letting out a defeated sigh when he heard Max and Lucas chatting in the living room. He dried his face and turned the bathroom light off reluctantly, walking towards his friends with a forced smile.
“Look who decided to- what the hell is that on your nose?” Max snorted loudly.
“Will also has a blue stain on his nose! Why are you laughing at me?!” Mike crossed his arms with a fake angry expression.
“Because you look ridiculous!” Max laughed, Will laughed and Lucas just smirked.
“Was it your fault, Will? Were you trying to paint his face or something?” Lucas asked.
“Nah, we had a playful banter while we cleaned the floor,” he chuckled.
“The floor was completely clean until this little boy throwed two buckets of paint. With his powers.” Mike gave Will a dirty look but his expression lacked any real anger, he ended up chuckling.
“Now that is art, Byers, you’re a real artist.” Lucas chuckled gently. Max was still laughing, Mike glared at her.
“Okay, so! Does anyone here want pizza or something? I’m starving.” Will patted his belly two times. Everyone agreed with him and he called a delivery. In the infinite meantime they played UNO. What a mistake.
And then another knock on the door interrupted them. Mike opened the door, it was Dustin. Another mistake.
Dustin walked in and smirked when he saw everyone getting ready to play UNO. “Guess I must have a sixth sense to know when people are playing cards,” he said with a smug tone. “Prepare yourself guys, I came here to win.”
Everyone laughed, then settled… and the game started.
A soft circle on the floor, everyone sitting down with their legs crossed, Lucas was sitting beside Max, facing Dustin. Will and Mike sat side to side, their knees brushing, they didn’t care, nobody did. Mike mixed the cards and gave everyone a few. Will started, throwing a yellow card, followed by Dustin, who threw a green one, then Lucas, who passed, Max’s turn came, she threw a red one, now Mike again, he threw a blue one. Will passed, Dustin threw a four more, Max sighed, knowing what was coming, Lucas started to argue with Dustin. Mike excused himself.
Will watched Mike get up and walk to the backyard, then he looked at Max, who was trying to stop Lucas and Dustin’s fight over those stupid cards. The best option seemed to go outside with Mike so he stood up and walked where Mike was. He opened the backdoor and saw him sitting on the grass while lit up a cigarette, his chest going rigid for a brief second.
“Since when?” Will asked softly, sitting down beside him.
“Huh?” Mike looked at him directly, a slight flicker of confusion in his eyes, then his eyebrows lifted. “Oh, this,” he cleared his throat. “Since seventeen.”
Will pressed his lips in a thin line while nodding slowly.
“That paint, who commissioned it?” Mike took a long drag of his cigarette.
“Carlton.” Will said bluntly.
Mike coughed, not being able to smoke properly.
“Mike! You okay?” Will’s voice carried a hint of worry and something. Again.
Mike nodded, clearing his throat again. “Yeah, don’t worry,” he sighed softly. “So… Carlton. You two have been doing okay?”
“Well,” Will’s expression softened slightly. “We’ve been dating for years now, we’re twenty-four now, and.. well, he’s been making some… plans. I think I’m okay with them, even though there’s something that I feel it’s not right.” His gaze was tired.
Mike hummed lowly, exhaling some smoke, then looking back at Will. Mike’s gaze landed on that blue halo, feeling the need to just touch it, touch him, caress his cheek and throw away that sadness in his eyes, that one he was the only who managed to see.
Will looked back at him. He really looked at him. He saw those dark circles under Mike’s eyes, that empty gaze, how his skin looked way pale than before, lips slightly chapped.
“You’re not doing okay at all,” Will said, not a question but a statement.
Mike just sighed, his gaze flicked to Will’s lip for less than a second before taking another drag. “I am, I’m just tired. You know the drill, right? College, work…”
“Mike-” Will started.
“Don’t.” Mike sighed.
“No, listen,” Will sighed. “I know things have changed between you and me, I mean, we’re grown adults now, but… it was never my intention, you know that, don’t you?”
“And that kiss after we graduated wasn’t your intention either, was it?” Mike snapped so abruptly that Will felt as if all the air had been sucked out of his lungs.
Will’s eyes darted between Mike’s. He looked at his lips from time to time while the world faded behind them. Mike’s eyes stung slightly, his hand scratched the grass beneath him as a way to ground himself. Memories flooded back, to both of them.
The flashback felt real as hell.
After a few hours of their last campaign, after that lasagna, after all that laughter and after everyone left, everyone except him, Will. Mike was doing the dishes, chatting with Will about their future, laughing softly in between. It all felt so… domestic, so goddamn right. Just the two of them. But the clock ticked.
“I think I should go,” Will spoke gently. “My mom is probably waiting for me.”
“Don’t you wanna stay for the night?” Mike suggested, mumbling and drying his hands after washing the last fork.
“I wish I could, but she told me she had a surprise and I get anxious sometimes, you know,” Will chuckled. “I swear tomorrow I’ll come, yeah? You're not going to get rid of me that easily.” He smirked.
Mike chuckled softly, genuinely. “Okay, okay, I trust you.”
Both of them laughed gently and went to the principal door, it was dark outside, Mike looked around and sighed. “Okay… see you tomorrow then? At 6pm?” His palms were sweaty.
“Yeah, dumbass. See you tomorrow,” Will chuckled, but when Mike was about to turn around to walk back inside, Will grabbed his arm. “Hey, uh…”
Mike’s eyebrows lifted the second Will stopped him. “Yeah?”
Will didn’t know why, he just felt it. He leaned in to leave a soft peck on Mike’s lips, they were soft at that moment. It was gentle, a brief touch, a brush, almost. Mike stayed still, cheeks red as a tomato.
“See you tomorrow.” Will said softly, walking away with a smile.
Mike watched him walk away, his heart fluttered, it burned, like it was about to tear apart his chest to fly back to Will’s hands, because it belonged there. Mike walked back inside with a soft expression, but his smile vanished when his dad appeared with a judgemental expression.
“Why’s that smile, huh?” His tone was firm.
“Nothing, Will just left and-” Mike stopped when his dad spoke over him.
“You’re not gay, are you? Because I swear to God-” Ted interrupted, not for so long since Mike let out an exasperated sigh.
“No, dad, I’m not, he’s just my best friend. I’ve told you this a million times.” Mike’s voice was weak, tired.
“He better be.” Ted said firmly.
Mike sighed and walked to his bedroom, collapsing against his bed. The word “best friend” left a bitter taste in his mouth, and even more so after that soft kiss. He turned to face Will’s painting and closed his eyes, trying to fall asleep. Two stray tears danced through his closed eyelids towards his freckles, hugging his pillow while he felt something twisting inside his stomach.
Will walked back home with a smile that night, he fell asleep with a soft expression, finally feeling at peace.
But that tomorrow didn’t come.
When Will was going to Mike’s house he bumped into a guy, who had an ice cream, now the grass was covered in vanilla flavour ice cream.
“Oh shit- I’m sorry! I’m sorry, I- I’ll buy you a new one!” Will said nervously.
“It’s okay, don’t worry,” the guy smiled. “I’ve seen you around and kinda wished to bump into you, what’s your name, huh?”
“I’m Will, and you are..?”
“Carlton, nice to meet you, Will.” Carlton smiled gently. They chatted for an hour or two, it was 8pm now. Time passed as fast as a school bus.
Will noticed the sky getting darker and gasped softly. Mike.
“I gotta go to my best friend’s house, see you someday!” Will laughed gently before sprinting towards Mike’s house.
“Tomorrow! Dinner at eight, I’ll meet you here!” Carlton shouted.
Will turned around with flushed cheeks, but he never stopped running. “See you tomorrow then!”
But that tomorrow did come.
Will was gasping for air when he arrived at Mike's house, he knocked the door three times, Nancy opened it.
“Nan-” Will gasped.
“Woah, easy there, you okay?” She chuckled.
“Yeah, came here to see Mike? Is he here?” Will sighed, finally catching his breath.
“Uh.. no. He’s been in the kitchen the whole day looking at the door, he looked like a dork, you should’ve seen him!” She chuckled gently. “I think he went for a walk or something, he looked slightly off. If he comes back I’ll tell him to call.” She spoke gently.
“Right, okay… thanks, Nan.” Will forced a smile and turned on his feet to walk away. His steps were heavy, his eyes stung, his hands in his pockets, walking down the street while that cold wind wrapped around him and his foggy mind.
Mike indeed went for a walk, sitting on the edge of The Quarry, his feet swinging, fidgeting nervously, taking in a few shaky breaths, sour tears running freely down his pronounced cheekbones down to his chin. Mike’s mind was a damn mess, he begged for some peace, for not feeling weird, for his dad to accept him. The insults kept repeating in his head; he simply wasn't going to endure another wave of bullying or discrimination by his father. Everything felt cloudy, weird, disgusting. He felt disgusting. He loved Will, he really did, but it seems like his feelings aren’t valid these days, what could he do? Exactly, suppress them. Hide them from everyone and everything, force himself to change. That was the biggest mistake he ever committed. He stood up and walked back home, tired steps over the green grass while more tears decorated his face. That night was the worst of his life. Mike knew he had lost Will the moment he began to value his father's words over his own happiness. He cried himself to sleep that night, again.
The next day, at 8pm, Mike sighed and finally moved, not wanting to lose him. He walked out of his house, firm steps to Will’s house, but he stopped a few minutes later, seeing him at a distance. He had a genuine smile, talking to another guy, his cheeks were red. Mike didn’t get jealous, he actually felt bad, like shit, sick to his stomach.
The flashback came to an end when Mike felt his actual eyes getting watery.
Mike cleared his throat. “I think we should go inside, I already finished this stupid cigarette.” He stood up and walked back inside with a slight stern expression, but it softened when he saw his friends, maybe he wasn’t that alone after all.
But Will wanted to argue, nothing came up though, he stayed on the grass for a bit more, memories and memories. The truth.
And another flashback came back.
Will cried that night, he knew what he felt towards Mike, but he also knew how his father was, how weak Mike was, Mike was a fucking coward, Will knew he needed to move on… so that’s what he did, and he felt happy for that. At first. But deep down he knows that reality will hit him soon or later, he hoped for it to be soon.
He forced himself to end that flashback.
His hands were shaky, his breath uneven. He forced himself to calm down and stood up to walk back inside. Everyone looked at him with a smile except for Mike.
Mike didn’t lift his head.
He was indeed a fucking coward.
The pizza saved this situation, Max opened the door and smiled at the delivery guy. She left it over the table. Everyone moved to grab plates and napkins. Will’s moves were lazy, he went to grab a glass and his hand brushed with Mike’s again. Will flinched just slightly, like his fingers burned. Mike notices this but didn’t move, didn’t speak in a playful banter, didn’t do anything to ease that tension. Will knew damn well that Mike wouldn’t feel the same, he’s just pissed because of that stupid kiss.
Will felt sick to his stomach, he excused himself from his friends with a pale face and ran to lock himself in the bathroom. He wouldn’t admit this out loud, but he prayed to every single God out there to help him to accept his feelings towards Mike before it’s too late.
Will’s phone buzzed, Carlton.
Sigh.
Pick it up, Byers, don’t be an ass to your boyfriend.
“Love?” Will spoke gently on the phone.
“Darling, are you okay? You sound off.”
“I’m okay, I swear, just… tired. My friends are here and I’m quite sleepy, how are you? Did something happen?” Will’s voice softened further.
“No, no, my dear, everything is fine. I just missed you, you wanna come over and crash here? We can cuddle and watch a movie.” Carlton’s voice was as soft as cotton.
Will’s heart tugged, not from tenderness, but from pain. That tone, that plan, everything he once wished to do with Mike—why did that idiot have to bring up that stupid night? That stupid kiss? Will tried his hardest to suppress those stupid feelings.
“Will? Are you still there?” Carlton spoke softly.
“Yeah- yeah, I’m here. Yeah, cuddles sound good to me, I gotta go now, call you later.” Will hung up the phone and sighed.
He splashed a bit of water on his face, letting the droplets mix with his tears, he sneaked to the backyard again and sighed, also letting the cold air dry his face, pulling away his tears. It almost felt like a caress, like Mike wiped Will’s tears with the pad of his thumb. Mike used to do that, now he’s preparing a table for his friends to eat pizza.
Mike overheard Will call Carlton ‘love’ and his chest burned. He yearned to be Carlton from time to time, but he suppressed those thoughts again as soon as he heard his father’s voice in his head.
“Mike! You okay? You really look wasted, bro.” Lucas spoke gently.
“What do you mean? I look as fresh as lettuce.” Mike said sarcastically.
“Yeah, an expired one.” Max added.
“Now that was low as fuck,” Dustin said with a serious expression. “Leave him alone, maybe he’s just tired.”
Will walked back inside, eyes slightly red.
“And now he’s on drugs and didn’t share, I can’t do this anymore!” Lucas fake cried and Dustin smacked him on the head.
Max looked between them and something clicked. Will’s glassy eyes and avoidant attitude towards Mike. Mike’s empty gaze and exhausted voice tone. Max looked at Will with an intense gaze and saw him avoid it with a long blink, looking at the floor now.
She knew something.
Everyone sat down to eat properly, they were almost starving, some of them drooling for a slice, but Mike still had that emptiness in his gaze and Will still had that little redness in his waterline.
Lucas and Max were the first one to leave, they were a bit exhausted and also had plans. Dustin? Well, he had to call Suzie since they were having sort of miscommunication problems, he left an hour later. Now it’s just Will and Mike.
“You still wanna stay for the night?” Will’s voice was weary, unstable, that little shakiness still present on it.
Mike let out a sigh but nodded, he hated himself enough to leave Will after what happened. “Yeah, yeah- I… I’ll stay,” he hesitated. “I can sleep on the flo-”
“No.” Will’s voice was suddenly firm. “I won’t let you sleep on the floor, your back must be exhausted because you cleaned the floor today.”
“The floor that you stained.” A smirk creeped on Mike' s lip corners.
“Because you were being stubborn.” Will smiled smoothly. Mike just chuckled at his answer, now both of them were smiling again.
Mike would be lying if he said he hates their dynamic, he just hates when they fight, but he loves how easy is to make it up, to say sorry without words, to understand each other with nothing but a simple shared look, he liked that, he liked this, he liked–
Best friends.
It always is, isn't it?
Will’s smooth smile melted into something even softer, but he shook his head and cleared his throat. Mike wanted to follow right behind, he really tried, but then he saw that blue halo on Will’s nose, again, that stupid impulse to caress it, touch it, him.
“You okay?” Will asked gently, receiving a short yet jerky nod from Mike, who looked at him with that something. Again. “Uhm… I’m gonna tidy up my bedroom, alright? You can-”
“I’ll do the dishes.” Mike said abruptly.
Will’s eyebrows shot up in slight surprise but he nodded. “Fine,” he answered with a slightly deep voice, faltering.
Mike stood up with a slight frown, he knew damn well he was acting in automatic, so he just simply dismissed his feelings, again, and did the dishes. Soap, a sponge, what the hell am I doing? Is my dad really that powerful? Why am I even questioning this to myself? A million thoughts ran through his mind while he heard Will humming a soft melody from his bedroom, a cute habit he had. Mike shook his head, dismissing every thought, again. He dissociated the entire time and finished doing the dishes. He dried everything and went to Will’s bedroom, looking around. He had paintings, posters, he changed everything and found a new place for every single piece of furniture. Everything changed, Will changed.
“What are you looking at?” Will had a merry voice tone.
“Just… everything changed, huh? Locations, posters, colours…” Mike sighed.
While Mike was distracted, looking at a painting, Will got changed. Mike never heard the clothes rustling.
“Whatever- look at my bed! I have new sheets so, yeah, uhm… let’s brush our teeth and then we can sleep in them!” Will was in a certain rush.
“You really gonna make me sleep in jeans?” Mike laughed gently. “Woah, never noticed you changed, cute pajamas.”
Will rolled his eyes playfully. “Thanks, and yeah, maybe I will if you don’t close your mouth.” He smiled, walking to his already half opened closet, looking through his clothes to find a few for Mike.
“You always leave your closet that way?” Mike asked in confusion.
“How?” Will was in confusion too, still looking for clothes that could fit Mike.
“I mean, half open like that. I always close mine completely, I would love to lock it sometimes.” Mike mumbled.
“What an odd thing to say,” Will stated. “Anyway, here I have a pair of sweats and a shirt, I can’t promise they’ll fit, alright? Just don’t ruin them or I’m afraid I’ll have to kill you.” He glared at Mike, who chuckled.
“Can’t promise a thing.” He said, laughing a bit louder when Will glared at him again.
Will went to the bathroom to wash his teeth, Mike decided to change his clothes. Sweatpants were okay, he thought they would be tight as hell, turns out they’re pretty loose. The shirt. Uhm. Tight on the shoulders, loose on the waist. He rubbed his face with his hands and groaned in slight frustration, making Will walk back in his bedroom, snorting at the sight.
“Well, I don’t have a bigger one,” Will smiled, but then gasped slightly. “Now that I remember, I have one of your favorite shirts here! It 's in the…” He looked around and crouched to look in the bottom drawer of the dresser. “Here it is,” he grabbed a shirt and handed it to Mike. “Be careful taking that off.”
“Yeah, about that… feels stuck as fuck, can you help me?” Mike scratched the back of his neck with an ashamed smile that had Will almost melting for a second.
Will froze for a brief second. He’s my best friend, he’s stuck in my shirt, this is normal, this is okay, this is goddamn fine. Totally normal. Yeah. “Sure thing, come here and lift your arms.”
Mike moved closer, they were face to face now, he lifted his arms slowly and Will hooked his fingers under the hem of the shirt to slowly pull it upwards, revealing Mike’s skin inch by inch, Will’s fingertips traced Mike’s stomach unconsciously. Mike let out a shaky sigh when the shirt landed on the floor with a soft thud, he took half a step closer to Will, who backed up hesitantly, just half an inch. Mike felt his heart twist violently in his chest but backed up too, looking into Will’s avoidant eyes. “You okay?” He whispered.
Will didn’t answer right away and also didn’t use words, he just nodded and handed him the shirt. Mike slid in it and let out a content sigh of relief, finally comfortable in his own shirt. Both of them went to the bathroom to brush their teeth, but time won’t wait for anything or anyone, it passed as fast as it could. They got a bit distracted with empty conversations, but at least they felt happy. I guess.
“I miss my Hellfire shirt from time to time, you know.” Mike chuckled.
“Oh god, you cannot be serious right now,” Will laughed gently. “It looked good on you though.” The compliment slipped out his lips before he could stop it.
Mike smiled gently, friendly. For the first time, both of them managed to hide their feelings completely. Will thought Mike had taken the compliment in a friendly way; Mike led Will to believe he had taken the compliment in a friendly way.
Wheeler is always one step ahead, and Will knows it. And that's precisely why the compliment had ulterior motives. Perhaps Will knows Mike is hiding his feelings, but every time Will tries to manage Mike? Carlton comes back to his mind, and he can't help but feel disgusted and guilty for being in this situation, shaking his head and spitting out the toothpaste before rinsing his mouth. Mike did the exact same thing, and they both went to bed after closing the door with a soft click and turning the lights off.
Rain poured outside, thunders so loud they made the window shake slightly. Will winced at the sound. Mike offered cuddles silently. Will nodded, it was better to feel like he was shielded from the loud noises, so he snuggled closer to Mike, who wrapped an arm around his waist gently, friendly. He tried to do it in a friendly way. Will let out a long yet soft sigh and his body jolted slightly when a loud thunder roared in the distance, hiding his face in the crook of Mike’s neck, squeezing his eyes shut while his body trembled just slightly. Mike let out a sigh and tried to calm down his stupid heartbeat before moving his arm upwards to cradle the back of Will’s head instead of his waist, but it felt more intimate than intended, his long and calloused fingers ran around Will’s soft locks in a steady rhythm, Will’s breath slowed down, now more even. His hands found their own way around Mike’s waist, pulling him closer until their bodies were pressed together. Will’s heartbeat quickened.
Mike wanted to speak, to say way too many empty things, so he just shut down his brain for a bit, choosing to die instead of speak. Will let out another sigh when another thunder made him jump a bit. Mike tightened his grip and pulled him even closer. Hug me. He wanted to scream at Will to hug him.
Will’s arms tightened around Mike’s slender body, his fingers sprawled all over his back. Mike left a soft peck onto Will’s forehead, a simple gesture they always used to comfort each other. One of each other’s hands found their way to intertwine their fingers, it stung like hell.
“A curator liked some of my paintings.” Will whispered against his neck, not backing up a single inch.
“I guess I'll see you in the museums.” Mike said with an unrecognizable voice tone, soft around the edges, weary, a high-pitched whisper.
Will buried his face deeper into Mike’s neck. Mike felt some dampness over it and backed up to catch a few tears that ran down Will’s red cheeks with the pad of his calloused thumb.
“Baby,” Mike whispered, his own heart shattered at how easy and right that pet name sounded. “What’s wrong…?”
Will shivered in agony at the softness in Mike’s voice, his eyes connected with Mike’s. “Don’t call me that again, Mike.”
Mike felt sick to his stomach and nodded, his hand moving away from Will’s face. “Sorry, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to. What’s wrong, Will? Talk to me, goddamnit.”
“Carlton.”
Mike’s body stilled.
Will’s phone buzzed. That idiot.
“Don’t answer him.”
“I have to.” Will sighed.
“No, you don’t, it doesn't matter if he’s your boyfriend, he should give you some space or something.” Mike stated.
“Let me answer this, it may be important. It won’t take that long, I promise, okay?” Will looked up at him, noticing Mike’s grip didn’t ease at all. “Okay?”
“Okay.” Mike sighed and let him go reluctantly.
Will stood up, grabbed his phone and answered, walking out of his bedroom to the backyard, leaning back against the wall, looking up at the ceiling. “Love? What is it?”
“I’m tired of your bullshit sometimes, Will. I was just thinking and it’s the third time you cancel me just because of your stupid friends. I’m honestly angry.” Carlton’s voice tone was stern.
“Sweetheart, I- I’m sorry, it’s just- I haven’t seen them in a really long time, I’ve been with you, with college, with work-” Will struggled to hear Carlton properly since it was pouring even harder now.
“I simply don’t care. I’ll pick you up tomorrow to go for lunch,” Carlton stated. “What are you doing being up at this hour by the way? Are your friends still there?”
“No- well, Mike is.” Will stuttered a bit.
“Huh, Mike. I see.” Carlton’s voice dripped with sarcasm.
“Carlton-”
“Have a good night, Will.”
Will didn’t have a chance to explain himself, feeling like shit, like he did something wrong, like he committed a sin. He prayed, yes, he fucking prayed. He got on his knees for a second, feeling wasted, clasping his shaky hands. Dear God, don’t do this to me, make him understand, help me to make me feel less dirty, fix me. A stray tear ran down his right cheek as he sniffed, standing up and walking back inside, freezing.
He took a few breaths and walked back into his bedroom, closing the door with a soft click. Mike fell asleep. Will felt a bit of relief since he didn’t have to explain a single thing to Mike, at least not now. He laid down on his side, facing the wall, eyes closed shut, squeezed. He felt his own heart bleed, crushing, cursing, crying, drying. His stomach turned and destroyed his insides, he clutched at it and sobbed quietly until he fell asleep.
Mike turned, wide awake, he never fell asleep. His hands stung to comfort his best friend. That slipped so easily. His arms wrapped around Will and pulled him in, Will’s back pressed against Mike’s chest. Mike fell asleep after that.
Will wasn’t asleep either. He turned to bury his face in Mike’s neck. He felt like a sinner again, he felt like a damn mistake, his mind screamed at him to pull away, his heart fluttered and begged to stay.
"I hope that one day God will forgive me for having listened to my heart without thinking twice." He whispered to himself, finally falling asleep properly. Mike never heard his whispered words.
Will woke up first, he rubbed his eyes and blinked slowly, looking at Mike with a soft expression, he looked at peace. Will shook him gently. “Wake up, sleepyhead, I have a date today.” He smiled.
But Mike didn’t. He groaned a bit and buried his face in Will’s neck. “Five more minutes.” He mumbled against Will’s skin.
“Come on, get up.”
Mike sighed and sat up, rubbing his eyes, stirring, stretching and yawning, all at once.
“Don’t worry about the sweats, keep them. I’ll wash your jeans, you can come back later for them.” Will spoke gently.
“I will, don’t worry.” Mike spoke with a raspy voice.
Will watched Mike stand up, he followed right behind. Mike tied his shoes with a yawn and walked to the principal door, currently 11am. He took his bike and sighed, looking back at Will.
“See you later then?” Will smiled gently, yawning.
“Yeah, see you later.” Mike smiled back, waving softly at him before going back home on his bike.
Will stayed there, freezing a bit with the cold morning air, seeing Mike fade away, soft yellow light casting warm sparkles on Mike’s shirt. Will waited until Mike was out of sight and walked back inside, closing the door with a soft click. His phone buzzed, he prayed unconsciously for it to not be Carlton. And Thank God, it was Jonathan. He answered.
“Hey.” Will sighed.
“Hi- woah, what’s up with that voice?” Jonathan seemed a bit worried.
“Nothing, I woke up a few minutes ago, Mike just left. Is everything okay?”
“Oh, yeah- yeah, everything is fine, I’m with Nancy, that’s why I didn’t go back home last night,” Jonathan sighed. “You okay?”
“Yeah, I’ll go grab some lunch with Carlton, alright? Gotta take a shower, see you for dinner?” Will’s voice was a bit lighter now.
“Okay, see you then. Can Nancy go with me?” Jonathan had a happy voice.
“Yeah, sure, tell her to bring Mike too.” Will had an unconscious smile on his face.
“You’re very close to Mike, don’t you?”
Will could tell Jonathan was smiling. “You’re my brother and you know damn well he’s my best friend, so I’m obviously close to him, dumbass. See you tonight then?”
“You know you can talk to me, right Will?” Jonathan’s voice lowered.
“See you tonight then, Jonathan?” He sounded exasperated now.
“See you tonight, Will. And remember, whatever is going on… I can’t carry it for you, but I can carry you, got it?” Jonathan’s voice was soft at the edges.
“Mhm, sure thing. See you.” Will hung up before thinking that much.
He took a fast bath and dressed up, the doorbell sounded. Of course that was Carlton, he never knocks. Will walked outside with a smile.
“Dear- wow, you look amazing, huh?” Carlton smirked, leaning in to kiss him softly. “Shall we go now?”
Will nodded, cheeks slightly red, heart fluttering. He was indeed confused, he didn’t love Mike, his heart didn’t flutter this way with him, but his stomach turned violently.
Mike was on his bed, looking at the ceiling. His phone buzzed, Dustin. A simple text. ‘Wanna catch ice cream?’ Mike was already going downstairs, but Nancy stopped him.
“We have dinner tonight at Will’s house, you coming?” She had a soft smile.
“Huh? I mean- yeah, sure, I’ll be there.” Mike tried to act nonchalant and waved at her before walking out of his house, closing the door behind him. He saw Dustin at a distance and they waved at each other, walking together to get some ice cream. They sat down on the edge of the street, the concrete was dry enough.
“I’ve been thinking about love last night.” Dustin said bluntly, making Mike cough a bit. “Woah, dude, I just said love.”
“Yeah- I get it, it was just so sudden,” Mike chuckled. “What have you been thinking, hm?”
“Don’t you think that sometimes we accept the love we think we deserve?”
Mike stayed still for a few minutes, his ice cream melting, vanilla drops hitting the concrete.
“Dude, your ice cream-” Dustin chuckled, shaking his head.
“Oh shit-” Mike dried his hand with a napkin and licked a few drops to save the rest. “Sorry, got distracted by… that odd statement.”
“Odd? Bro, you can’t say it’s odd! It 's true! I mean, we date the wrong people sometimes, why? Because we accept the love we think we deserve!”
Mike’s mind drifted to Will and Carlton for a second.
Will was sitting in a restaurant with Carlton, he was holding Will’s hands firmly with a soft smile on his face.
“Have you told anyone?”
“No, not yet, I didn't have good timing, I’ll tell them soon.” Will felt like he was lying but he didn’t know why, he was telling the full truth in there.
“It’s okay, love, I know you’ll do it soon or later,” Carlton seemed to understand and sighed. “How was your sleepover with… how was his name?”
“His name is Mike. I think you know pretty well how he’s called since you always ask me about him every time I’m with him.” Will mumbled a bit.
“You should pick a different voice tone with me.” Carlton tightened his grip on Will’s hands.
“I can’t stand it when people belittle my friends like you usually do,” Will’s voice tone was a bit firmer now. Carlton tightened his grip again, Will winced a bit. “You’re hurting me-”
“I think I can do whatever I want with what’s mine, right?” Carlton tightened his grip even more but eased it when a waiter arrived with two menus. Will moved his hands away from Carlton’s with sorrow in his eyes and shaky eyebrows, a puppy gaze.
“What are you thinking of?” Dustin asked, his ice cream already finished.
“About what you said earlier, I… I think I get your point, dating wrong people and all that.” Mike stated, looking at an interesting point on the concrete.
“Have you ever had a date with the wrong person?” Dustin lowered his voice.
Will excused himself from Carlton and walked to the bathroom, holding tears in as he splashed water on his face, drying it and letting out a soft sigh. ‘It’s been five years, I can’t back up now,’ he said in his mind. He walked out of the bathroom and sat back again with Carlton as if nothing happened, smiling gently.
“No, but.. I know a person that is dating the wrong one.” Mike said gently.
“Who is it? Do I know that person?” Dustin had a smile on his lips.
“Very well, I’m afraid.”
Dustin gasped. “Who?!”
Mike just chuckled and shook his head. Eventually, both of them stood up, it’s 3pm now. They both stretched.
“My butt hurts.” Dustin groaned softly.
“Good information, absolutely. I’m gonna cherish that data til the day I die, I swear.” Mike’s voice dripped with sarcasm. They walked to his house.
“I swear to God that sometimes I wanna kill you when you get all smug and sarcastic, you’re nothing but a whiny, stupid jerk,” Dustin chuckled. “And a goddamn coward.”
Mike didn’t stop in his tracks but his rhythm slowed down. “Coward?”
“I mean, kind of? You’re getting used to avoiding questions, that’s cowardly behaviour.” Dustin pointed out a few things that Mike hated.
“Okay, okay, smartass, see you later.” Mike dismissed what Dustin said.
“See you soon, man.” Dustin turned on his street and walked away.
Mike’s been walking alone, looking down at the concrete, feeling the soft yet cold wind hit his lashes, running through his curls, hugging him. We accept the love we think we deserve. It made so goddamn much sense it scared him. He kept walking until he arrived home, walking in directly to take a bath, he had that dinner with Nancy, Jonathan and Will later. He locked himself in the bathroom and took off his clothes, getting into the warm shower. The second the hot water hit his back? He relaxed. His muscles untensed. Shampoo, a bit of conditioner, body washed, it took him less than fifteen minutes, but he spent almost an hour just dissociating, feeling the water run, it mixed with a few tears but he didn’t cry. Nancy’s angry knock saved him from spiraling further.
“Come on, Mike! You’ve been there for an hour now!” Nancy’s muffled voice reached his ears.
“I’ll be out now!” Mike said from the shower, turning the water off, drying his hair and wrapping a towel around his waist, walking out and wincing when he received a smack from Nancy, he didn’t say a thing though, he knew she had a fair point in there. He walked to his bedroom and got dressed, dark jeans, white shirt, usual converse shoes. He looked himself in the mirror and sighed, noticing that the yellow halo on his nose was already gone, missing it a little. Holly knocked on his door, he opened it and smiled gently.
“What is it now, kiddo?”
“Found this yellow ring, wanna keep it? It’s too big for me and mom doesn’t like it.” She extended it to him before walking away, not waiting for an answer.
Mike closed the door again, analysing the ring cautiously, slowly sliding a finger inside, perfect for his ring finger. He sighed and just let it flow.
Will was at his home with Carlton, both of them snuggled onto his couch. “I will have dinner in a few hours with Jonathan.”
“You gonna tell him?” Carlton smiled.
“If I can…” Will chuckled nervously.
“I know you can.” Carlton sighed and stood up, kissing Will on the forehead. “I’ll go away then, see you this week?” He asked, walking up to the principal door.
“Yeah, I’ll tell you when.” Will smiled, waving at Carlton.
“Okay, love you.” Carlton closed the door behind him with a soft click.
Will felt nauseous all of the sudden, that rough kiss on the forehead left a sting on his skin, that stupid ‘love you’, dry as hell, not sincere at all, Will didn’t feel that. Mike came up to his head, his eyes watered in less than a second, heart shattering, again. It’s the same goddamn cycle, his heart heals when he’s with Carlton, then Carlton’s an asshole, then Will ignores it for his own sake, then Carlton says stupid things and Will can’t help but think about Mike and how much he actually loves him.
Call it emotional cheating, call it confusion, but Will loves his best friend.
Stupid title, stupid Mike and his stupid freckles.
Will took his phone and called Nancy.
“Hello?” Her voice is gentle on the other side.
“Nan,” Will smiled gently. “Can we get dinner at your house instead? Later you can come here with Jonathan.”
“Oh- yeah, sure! Of course, that’s a good idea, but you won’t come with us…?” She sounded a bit confused.
“I’ll stay with Mike, gotta talk with him.” His voice weary, slightly.
“Hm, okay. I’ll go tell Mike and Jonathan.”
“Great, thank you, are Karen and Ted there? I can bring some-”
“No, no, don’t worry, they’re not here for the whole week.” Nancy sighed in certain relief.
“Okay, see you in a few then.” Will smiled and hung up.
Sigh, sigh, sigh, Will went to the bathroom to take another bath and then got dressed, grabbing his backpack to pack his pajamas and his toothbrush.
“Dinner 's moved!” Nancy yelled.
Mike walked up to her with a frown. “Huh?”
“Will’s coming here and staying for the night.”
Mike’s eyebrows shot up but he nodded. “Fair enough.”
“What do you mean?”
“Been in his house last night, I think it’s pretty fair if he decides to invade my personal space now.” He chuckled.
Jonathan had an amused expression and looked at Nancy with a knowing gaze.
“Sure thing, bro.” Nancy chuckled as they organized the table and prepared a delicious lasagna.
Holly greeted everyone and walked out of the house to go to a sleepover with her school friends.
“She’s growing way too fast.” Mike sighed.
“Oh, please, shut up, you sound like our mom now.” Nancy laughed softly, Jonathan joined her.
“So what? Mom’s really nice!” Mike chuckled.
“Oh, now that’s new,” Nancy’s voice tone softened. “Why 's that?”
“She’s emotional, not a coward, firm, a fighter.”
Nancy and Jonathan looked at each other and then at Mike in confusion, thank God he heard three knocks on the door and ran to open it.
“Will,” Mike whispered with a soft voice.
“Mike,” Will responded with a firm voice, he had a smile.