perfectly_inept



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  1. Public Bookmark 13

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    Summary

    Harry flips the folder open. Inside, there lays only a small, handwritten note on dog-eared parchment.

    Dear Harry Potter,

    You are my soulmate.

    Yours sincerely (literally, it pains me to say),

    Draco Malfoy

    “Why, Potter,” Malfoy says, leaning back in the chair, the mug raised to his mouth, “this is the worst day of your life.”

    ***
    Hope is what you find between the expected and the unexpected.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,400
    Chapters:
    3/15
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    78
    Bookmarks:
    13
    Hits:
    985

    13 Feb 2025

  2. Public Bookmark 11

    Tags
    Summary

    Jesper and Wylan have some intimate time before a job, and when Jesper suggests wearing a toy to work, Wylan agrees.

    They should have predicted a Corporanik would notice.

    They couldn't have predicted how interested she would be!

    Jesper and Wylan--and then Jesper, Wylan, Nina, and Matthias--have quite a lot of fun together.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,665
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    93
    Bookmarks:
    11
    Hits:
    4,194

    10 Oct 2023

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Literally I can’t breath so hot

  3. Rec *

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    Summary

    Alex is balls deep in Henry’s throat when Henry opens his eyes and pulls away with a wet slurping sound.

    “Sorry, did I pull your hair too hard?” Alex garbles thickly. They’ve been drinking this evening, and too many glasses of wine at dinner have made him handsy and reckless. Well…more handsy and reckless than usual.

    “It’s not that,” Henry says, voice shot and hoarse and, wow, he was really letting Alex do a number on his soft pallet. “I was…wondering how you would feel about trying a little anal play.”

    --

    A 5+1 story in every way but name, in which Alex is introduced to the wonders of bottoming for the first time.

    *Indefinite hiatus*

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    48,652
    Chapters:
    5/6
    Comments:
    433
    Kudos:
    2,348
    Bookmarks:
    526
    Hits:
    69,385

    19 Aug 2023

  4. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Wylan huffs, and normally Jesper would give him shit for it but he is holding himself up extraordinary well so as not to touch Jesper—he just doesn’t know how long that’s going to last.  “I said—can you sense any metal?”

    Right. Jesper should’ve thought of that, before thinking of the fact that Wylan’s legs are straddling his, and how his skin feels like it’s burning where his thighs are pressed up against Wylan’s—

    FUCK.

    jesper and wylan are stuck in a crate together. naked. jesper suffers.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,511
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    18
    Kudos:
    736
    Bookmarks:
    110
    Hits:
    13,833

    01 Jun 2023

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Absolutely everything - predicament bondage, accidental penetration, a/b/o, exceptional written characters, I love this

  5. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    “Charlie, Nick and I went to school together” Ben explains, and he sounds timid, not the brash sixteen year old that hurt Charlie so much. Rationally Charlie knows that people can change, that clearly Ben has accepted his sexuality but his brain isn’t being particularly rational right now.

    OR: charlie and nick move back to kent after university, it's naive to think they won't bump into anyone from their past. (slice of life fic as they navigate trying to become adults, new jobs and unexpected encounters.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,294
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    65
    Kudos:
    1,222
    Bookmarks:
    147
    Hits:
    14,792

    05 May 2023

    Bookmarker's Notes

    I have been searching and I will not lose this fic again