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Wylan did not find himself alone with Matthias often. They simply didn’t have similar skills. Not to mention, Matthias tended to be tied to Nina like a shadow. Or perhaps a lost puppy. Wylan thought it was sweet, really, Matthias clearly cared for her deeply. And Wylan knew he stayed near to the other crows as well. But Matthias and Wylan weren’t a pairing that happened often.
So, when Wylan did find himself in a room alone with Matthias, he found himself at a loss for words.
They didn’t exactly have similar backgrounds. And Wylan suspected any small talk would be quickly rejected by the man. And thus they sat in quiet contemplation together. Until, Matthias, wonders among wonders, shocked Wylan by starting the conversation himself.
“Jesper… he speaks of you often. Is very taken with you.”
And what a way to start a conversation.
“Um… yes? Or I think he is- or not think, hope.” Wylan found himself stumbling over his words. “I just mean… I am very taken with him as well.”
Matthias nodded. Wylan almost wondered if it had been a test of some kind. Some incredibly short shovel talk?
“You do not seem very alike, you and Jesper.”
Oh. “I suppose we aren’t.” Wylan shrugged. “Nina and you aren’t the most alike either.”
Matthias tilted his head, and Wylan was once again reminded of a puppy. “We are not. But we have been through similar things.”
Wylan let his focus shift from his hands back to Matthias. “I guess that makes sense.”
“You and Jesper? Have you been through similar things?”
“Um…” Wylan wasn’t sure. In the crows? Yes, of course, they had all been through these things together. But before that? There was very little of their lives that could be aligned. “I guess we haven’t?”
Matthias didn’t react to that, just continued pressing his small knife into the piece of wood he’d been meddling with the whole time.
“How um how do you and Nina do it? Being so different?”
“We are different on the surface, this is true. But we want the same things.” Matthias placed the small wood piece to the side. “I am not good at being alone. Nina needs community. We can give that to one another.”
Wylan nodded along. “I mean Jesper and I both want that as well.”
“Most people do.” Matthias agreed. “But it is important to know what community means. I have seen what life without a pack looks like. I am not interested in that life. Nina has spent too much time alone. She is ready to be together.”
Wylan pinched his lips together. “I didn’t know that about you. That you’d been alone before.”
“I haven’t.” Matthias corrected. “But I have seen it happen to others. The Isenulf.”
Wylan felt a ghost of a smile cross his lips as he remembered his own experiences with the Isenulf. “I’ve met them before, actually.”
“Really? Where did you meet an Isenulf?”
“My father took me to see them once. It was before…” Wylan cleared his throat. “Well, he let me see them. I was young. I was just overjoyed seeing them. They were a pack though. I’ve never seen one alone.”
“I had a mentor back home.” Matthias said. “He was ousted after he attempted to save a small boy who had been labeled as a witch. He thought we could raise the boy, save him, but the community disagreed. They punished him harshly. His Isenulf was released into the wild without a pack.”
Silence fell over the two for a moment. Matthias swallowed.
“We found his body two days later.”
Wylan felt goosebumps down his arms.
“My mentor is why I saved Nina. His Isenulf is why I could not leave her. She is why I love her.”
Matthias resumed his whittling. “Why is it that you are with Jesper?”
Wylan let himself think, moving things on the table this way and that. “I suppose I was like your mentor’s Isenulf. I was released into the wild.”
Matthias chuckled, and Wylan found him bristling. “I just meant-”
Matthias held out a hand to stop him. “I mean no offense. It is just that you are not a wolf, dear friend. You are as violent as a little lamb.”
Wylan found himself laughing along with Matthias. “You might be right. But I was a lost lamb, and Jesper, the crows, they found me.”
Matthias let a heavy hand land on Wylan’s shoulder. “I suppose we have both been lucky to be found, lamb.”
–
Jesper found himself touching Wylan more often than not. It wasn’t anything outrageous, nothing that Kaz could scold him over. Just his coat pinched between Jesper’s fingers, a hand on a knee, elbows bumping together, feet on top of one another. And Wylan did it too, Jesper noticed. They gravitated towards one another as though some invisible string was pulling. Jesper sometimes wondered if he’d done something. Used his skills to direct Wylan to him the way he directed bullets. But if that was so, then Wylan had to be Grisha too because Jesper felt the pull in his gut just as strongly.
Jesper wouldn’t describe himself as possessive. He’d spent too long unattached. But he did feel as though he fit against Wylan perfectly. They notched together like puzzle pieces, and even though Jepser wasn’t possessive, he was proud. He fit a role no one else could. He was Wylan’s.
Perhaps that was why the name irritated him so. It wasn’t like nicknames didn’t flow among the crows like rain. Jes, Waffles, Idiot, Wy. Even sweeter ones between Nina and Matthias, and though they didn’t trade terms of endearment as often, Jesper saw the gazes filled with them that Kaz and Inej shared.
But Matthias didn’t have nicknames for any of them. Occasionally Jesper had heard him whisper “my heart” or “love” to Nina in that deep voice of his, but nothing else for the other crows.
Except Wylan.
Matthias had christened Wylan anew - and Jesper did not care for it.
They’d been discussing a job, something short and easy. Kaz had asked Wylan if there’d be enough time to finish his part of it all, and Wylan had nodded confidently. Kaz’s raised eyebrow questioned him, but Matthias interrupted before Jesper had time to defend his boyfriend.
“He will be fine.” Matthias had said. “The little lamb works fast.”
And that had been it. Inej had shared a glance with Jesper, but otherwise the crows hadn’t said much about the interaction.
But it didn’t stop.
Matthias barely called Wylan Wylan anymore. Only ever lamb, or little lamb, or once lost lamb.
Jesper didn’t like it one bit.
He tried to use the name once himself with less than successful results.
They’d been in bed, slowly waking up. Wylan had rubbed his eyes as he always did, his hair a mess making Jesper smile all lovesick down at him. “Little lamb.” Jesper had murmured, pulling Wylan closer.
Wylan had snorted. Honest to Ghezen snorted. “No no no.” He’d laughed.
“What?” Jesper was trying not to feel offended.
“Don’t make me think of Matthias while I’m lying in bed with you.” Wylan had said, placing a soft kiss to Jesper’s cheek. “I’d much prefer to focus only on you.”
Well…
The rest of that morning went fantastically, but Jesper didn’t forget the twinge of hurt he’d felt.
–
The three of them had been left alone at the club: Wylan, Jesper, and Matthias.
Jesper would be the first to admit he’d been drinking and his skin was itching for more reckless behavior. He’d walked past a betting circle that morning and had been struggling to resist going back all day.
Suffice to say, he was on edge.
So when Matthias said, “Pass be that knife, lamb.” All casually and simply, Jesper had groaned.
Matthias glanced over, surprise on his face.
“Are you okay?” He asked.
“Fine.” Jesper grunted.
Wylan turned to him as well. “What’s wrong Jes?”
Jesper snorted himself. “Nothing, lamb.” His tone was unfairly mean.
Matthias and Wylan shared a look that made Jesper feel even worse.
“Is that an issue?” Wylan asked, coming closer to rest his hand over Jesper’s.
“No, no it’s perfectly fine for Helvar to be calling you sweet names. Totally normal for you to laugh at me when I try the same thing. Makes sense actually,”
“Sweet names?” Matthias voiced. “I do not use sweet names with him.”
Jesper laughed a little manically. “Uh yeah you do. Little lamb this and sweet lamb that and darling lamb-”
“I have never said darling-”
“But I call him little lamb once and suddenly I’m the weird one!”
A small quiet sat as Jesper took a calming breath. He hadn’t meant to get so flustered.
“Jes?” Wylan started, “It’s not what you’re thinking.”
“No, I know.” Jesper insisted. “I just…” Jesper felt oddly embarrassed. “I don’t know. I felt left out I guess.”
“Jesper.” Wylan scolded, his tone so fond Jesper felt like he could melt. “You are part of everything I do. You can’t be left out.”
Matthias took a step toward the pair. “When Wylan and I had first met, we spoke of our pasts. In the end, he told me he was like the Isenulf I had known back home. I told him that he was much more like a lamb than a wolf, and the name came from that. I was not meaning to insult or offend.”
Jesper placed his face in his hands. “I feel stupid now.”
“Don’t.” Wylan pulled his hands away to look at him. “It’s nice to know how much you care. And if it really bothers you-”
“No.” Jesper shook his head quickly. “I just need to find my own name for you, I guess.”
Matthias’s deep laughter surprised Jesper. “That I will enjoy watching.” He said, eyes filled with glee.
–
Matthias liked his family.
He loved Nina. She was his world, his breath, his beating heart.
He respected Kaz. Even with everything he disagreed with him on, he understood Kaz’s decisions.
He admired Inej. She was strong like the women he’d grown up around and yet so unique it made him feel dizzy.
He enjoyed Jesper. Jesper made him laugh in a way that always surprised him.
And he had warmed to Wylan. They may have been terribly different, but they had both found themself in this little family. This pack.
A wolf and a lamb.