jeezelise



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    “He wants doll brushes because he’s seen the girls at the park brushing their plushies with them. Their dolls too, obviously. But he wants to brush that pelt you brought him-”

    David sets his crossword book down, giving Yuna his full attention.

    “What?”

    “The pelt of fur? Looks like a wolf, or maybe one of those big cats?” Yuna says, waving her hand dismissively. “Either way, I don’t think doll brushes are the right choice. We can look into getting him a set of actual grooming tools, he needs to learn that the right tools for the right job are an important-”

    “Yuna. Sweetheart.” David interrupts. “I did not buy our son a piece of dead animal as a souvenir from Russia.”

    OR

    Ilya loses something important at the airport; years later, Shane gives it back to him.

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    06 Jul 2026

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    Ilya makes comments about Shane talking too much.

    Shane takes him seriously and attempts to stop talking.

    It doesn’t go well.

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    03 Jul 2026

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    Shane Hollander ✅ @shanehollanderofficial 
    I’ve seen many publications over the years speculating on my own, and my husband’s, hockey stats and accolades in relation to our romantic relationship and when the public assumes it started. 

    We don’t owe this to anyone. But we’ve also been playing professional hockey for seventeen years and we’ve both run out of ahem, cares to give.

    On the right is a photograph from the behind the scenes of our joint CCM advertisement in July of 2010. This photo predates the hundreds of combined accomplishments listed on the left. 

    Oh, and it was also taken about six hours before our first kiss. 

    -----

    or; a year from retirement and out of fucks to give, shane reveals their timeline to twitter in response to the latest speculatory article on their relationship. hollanovs across the world rejoice, centaurs celebrate their beloved dads, and former teammates share the not-so-subtle clues they missed the first time.

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    25 Jun 2026

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    It’s strange. He went down hard, but nothing hurts. That might be very bad, if he can’t feel anything at all. But it’s not that. He can feel things, but they just don’t feel right. Maybe they already have him up on the stretcher, because he’s lying on something soft, not the cold ice he’d crumpled onto when he fell. He’s never felt a stretcher quite like this before, though.

    “Ilya!”

    There it is again. But now it’s louder. Almost unmistakably Shane.

    Blinking against sunlight, Ilya opens his eyes, and stares up at the brilliant blue sky.

    --

    After a bad hit during a game in 2016, Ilya wakes up at Shane Hollander's cottage in 2023. Finding out he has a dog, plays for Ottawa, and is married to Shane in quick succession, confronting the existence of time travel becomes the least of his worries.

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    24 Jun 2026

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    “Is that a Doctor Doom impersonator,” Peter said, staring down at Johnny’s phone in horror.

    “I wanted Elvis,” Johnny yawned. “But you said this was funnier.”

    “He’s going to kill me,” Peter said blankly. “Doctor Doom is going to kill me because I married his fourth favorite nemesis—”

    “Hey, Ben is the fourth favorite. I’m a solid third.”

    His fourth favorite nemesis in Las Vegas—”

    “The Little Latverian Chapel, if you want to get exact.”

    “With a Doctor Doom impersonator officiating.”

    “He said we were his favorite couple of the night, by the way,” Johnny said, yawning. “And he just smiled and nodded when you told him you were actually Spider-Man.”

    ***

    Peter welcomes Johnny back from the Negative Zone, marries him, and falls in love. In that order.

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    21 Jun 2026