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  1. Public Bookmark *

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     “I need your help.” 

    Ilya peers up again and raises an eyebrow. He pauses the video he was watching. “With?” 

    Shane fidgets. “I, uh… I can’t– I mean, I can but I’m not very good– Fuck, listen, just– Ineedyoutohelpmewithsex.” 

    A pause. A long pause. Ilya blinks a couple of times, mouth twitching at the corners. Then,

    “You need me to teach you how to fuck your girl, Hollander?”

    Shane needs help satisfying his girlfriend, Jessica. He turns to his roommate, Ilya, for help.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,079
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    587
    Kudos:
    10,671
    Bookmarks:
    1,994
    Hits:
    71,961

    26 Jun 2026

  2. Rec *

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    Shane Hollander ✅ @shanehollanderofficial 
    I’ve seen many publications over the years speculating on my own, and my husband’s, hockey stats and accolades in relation to our romantic relationship and when the public assumes it started. 

    We don’t owe this to anyone. But we’ve also been playing professional hockey for seventeen years and we’ve both run out of ahem, cares to give.

    On the right is a photograph from the behind the scenes of our joint CCM advertisement in July of 2010. This photo predates the hundreds of combined accomplishments listed on the left. 

    Oh, and it was also taken about six hours before our first kiss. 

    -----

    or; a year from retirement and out of fucks to give, shane reveals their timeline to twitter in response to the latest speculatory article on their relationship. hollanovs across the world rejoice, centaurs celebrate their beloved dads, and former teammates share the not-so-subtle clues they missed the first time.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,854
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    228
    Kudos:
    7,209
    Bookmarks:
    783
    Hits:
    33,858

    26 Jun 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    @ESPN: Breaking: Ilya Rozanov has been traded to the Ottawa Centaurs.

    @hollanovtruther: who wants to bet Shane Hollander is to blame?

    Or how a high-profile trade sparks one of the greatest conspiracies in hockey history... that just so happens to be true.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    19,860
    Chapters:
    8/?
    Comments:
    694
    Kudos:
    6,779
    Bookmarks:
    2,007
    Hits:
    120,561

    26 Jun 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    When Ilya tells Cliff that “Montreal Jane” is Shane Hollander, Cliff thinks he finally has a sense of what’s really going on.

    Ilya thinks Cliff probably needs to get his head checked.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,898
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    202
    Kudos:
    3,432
    Bookmarks:
    482
    Hits:
    17,276

    26 Jun 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    A private conversation between Shane and Rose goes viral. No, not that one. Another one. One about unrequited love, undiagnosed autism, and a preference for submission. The fallout will be impossible to handle. Especially because Ilya Rozanov probably saw the entire thing.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,152
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    92
    Kudos:
    2,730
    Bookmarks:
    433
    Hits:
    16,889

    25 Jun 2026