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    “This hot tub has not been well maintained,” Rozanov complained as they stood on the deck, staring at the built-in hot tub, big enough to fit 8 people. 

    “So, you can replace it,” Shane replied patiently.

    “I will be too busy to replace the hot tub. Then I will have a long day, and I will decide to have a soak in my rancid hot tub, and then I will catch diphtheria and die.” Rozanov looked at Shane, accusatory. “You want me to die?”

    Shane looked down. The hot tub looked no more or less rancid than any other hot tub. “I don’t think you can get diphtheria from a dirty hot tub.”

    “You are doctor now?” Rozanov asked, and Shane stayed silent. 

    Shane Hollander is a realtor who works with the Ottawa Centaurs to find properties for new players.

    Ilya Rozanov needs a home.

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    23 Aug 2026

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    After SunShane SPF50 leaves him with the worst breakout, Ilya does what any reasonable person would do: he leaves a one-star Amazon review and a complaint on Reddit demanding a refund. However, instead of a refund, he gets a reply back from the company's polite and handsome CEO Shane.

    Or: One angry Reddit post leads to Instagram stalking, horny DMs, getting stuck in a one-bed hotel room, and an Italian wedding.

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    23 Aug 2026

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    “Found you.”

    Hollander closed the folder. “Mr. Rozanov.”

    “I’ve got something for you.”

    Before Shane could ask what he meant, Ilya placed the decorated badge on the counter between them. “Your ID badge.”

    Shane looked first at the badge clipped to his white coat, then at the one lying on the counter.

    “…My ID badge?”

    Or

    Where Shane is temporarily transferred to the pediatric ward after the previous anesthesiologist quits, only to find himself dealing with a crazy, curly-haired blonde nurse who already had his eyes on him.

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    23 Aug 2026

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    “Right,” he responded, “Shane. It’s – my name is Shane.”

    “Shane,” Ilya’s mouth curled into a smile. “It is very nice to meet you,” his eyes tracked down to the label sewn on his front jacket, S. Hollander. “Shane Hollander, paramedic.”
    _________________

    or: Ilya is the Ottawa Centaur's star player. Shane Hollander is a paramedic. What starts as one hour together becomes years of chasing, longing and - despite their best efforts otherwise - falling in love.

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    23 Aug 2026

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    Shane loves him. This is all he can really think about, now, with Ilya’s knuckles caressing his skin and his eyes raking all over his features; he loves him, and he knows Ilya loves him, too, and he cannot believe he ever doubted that either of them knows this about the other, cannot fathom needing any kind of arbitrary showcase of this love to know that it’s real. He loves Ilya, and if he wants to show him off or keep him locked in this apartment forever and only let him feed from the palm of his hand, then he can do as he sees fit, as long as he keeps loving Shane like this, as much as Shane loves him.

    “It was you,” Shane whispers. “They were talking about you.”

    Ilya’s knuckles pause, and Shane squeezes his wrist, a non-verbal whine. “What about me?”

    “Doesn’t matter what. Anything, anything about you,” Shane’s head is shaking, and Ilya starts soothing again, burying his fingers into his hair and keeping his palm there, covering his ear, and Shane clings onto his wrist. “Could’ve been fucking anything, but… They had something to say about you, and I couldn’t– I snapped.”

    or, shane worries he's not showing ilya off as much as he should, and it becomes another problem

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    23 Aug 2026