HalfEatenPBJ
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Summary
In the days before humans, angels possessed a unique ability to tether themselves to the essence of the universe around them, and to each other. It brought them strength and harmony, and helped hold together creation itself.
Today, no one has ever heard of a 'soul bond', and Lucifer is totally fine with that. Too old to even be a myth, the very concept is relegated to the dusty shelves at the back of the oldest Seraphims' minds.
Until Charlie comes along and asks Lucifer to heal Alastor, that is.
(AKA The 'accidentally married/bonded' fic no one asked for but we all sorely need).
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 41,052
- Chapters:
- 10/?
- Comments:
- 296
- Kudos:
- 1,171
- Bookmarks:
- 358
- Hits:
- 21,289
Bookmarked by HalfEatenPBJ
20 Mar 2026
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”You’d call everything off right now, just for this?”
Just for this, he says. As though it’s trivial. As though it isn’t everything that Vox has dreamt of every night for the past several decades. As though the rejection doesn’t sting just as sharply every time he wakes up and reaches to the other side of a cold bed, hands searching for a lover that will never be there, and hears callous laughter echoing in the back of his skull.
Vox sucks in a shaky breath, closing his eyes. He tilts his face downward, unable to look at Alastor when he admits it. He almost can’t bring himself to, sure that Alastor is already certain of the answer.
”Yes,” he whispers.
”You can’t be serious,” Alastor says quietly.
~~~~~~
In which many things come to light, all earth-shattering.
Bookmarked by HalfEatenPBJ
18 Mar 2026
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Lucifer has tracked his movements; he has seen how he fills a room with dramatic flourishes and well-timed laugh tracks. He’s seen him squeeze shoulders and press his face close, coo at others with condescending head-pats and insulting taps to the tips of noses. The face Vaggie had made when Alastor bent over and kissed the back of her hand in a sick travesty of gentlemanly grace almost makes him laugh out loud at the memory. He covers up the sound with a small clearing of his throat. The pure, unadulterated disgust on her features was more than enough to ensure a repeat performance when she least expected it.
That’s what Alastor did it for. The reaction. The control.
Putting aside Niffty, there was only one other exception that he has noticed in his time at the hotel.
Himself.
Or: 4 times Lucifer touches Alastor and 1 time Alastor touches him back.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 18,109
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 159
- Kudos:
- 2,190
- Bookmarks:
- 644
- Hits:
- 27,041
Bookmarked by HalfEatenPBJ
11 Mar 2026
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“Salutations, God of the Underworld! Let me stay in your realm!”
The myth of Persephone’s kidnapping by Hades may have taken a few liberties. In fact, more than a few.
In which Alastor, God of Spring, deigns to grace Lucifer, God of the Underworld, with his unwanted presence. And as depressed and lonely as he is, Lucifer is still not sure this is a good idea. For Man and Godkind, that is. Meanwhile, Alastor, hoping for some entertainment, finds more to do than he bargained for.
(Greek Gods AU, based loosely on fanart)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 289,989
- Chapters:
- 50/50
- Comments:
- 4,895
- Kudos:
- 5,349
- Bookmarks:
- 1,204
- Hits:
- 198,481
Bookmarked by HalfEatenPBJ
07 Mar 2026
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If pressed, Lucifer didn’t know what he’d expected to happen to Adam after getting that much-deserved stabbing. Probably nothing. As in, actual nothing, obsolescence, a complete eradication from each and every plane of existence so that nobody would have to hear a single fucking shitty guitar riff again.
In retrospect, that must have been one of Lucifer’s very rare sparks of unfounded optimism.Or: 5 times Adam got put back in his place + 1 time Vox got the same treatment
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 27,750
- Chapters:
- 8/8
- Comments:
- 376
- Kudos:
- 1,985
- Bookmarks:
- 593
- Hits:
- 28,383
Bookmarked by HalfEatenPBJ
06 Mar 2026