Chapter Text
friendship express train (no we aren’t changing the name because I said so - march :p)
Sunday, 10:02 PM
march: get up everyone rise and shine ✨☀️
march: time for the first day of classes
dan heng: it’s 10pm
caelus: class is tomorrow
march: oopsies I guess I’m excited :3
caelus: tbh I was playing video games
welt: you both should be getting your rest
welt: everyone go to bed
himeko: yes dad
march: yes dad
caelus: yes dad
welt: I’m literally your roommate
march: omg we were roommates
himeko: STOP
dan heng: I regret being in this group chat everyday
caelus: anyway march why are you excited about stress and chugging coffee at 2am cramming for an exam?
dan heng: already pessimistic I see
caelus: I think of it as realistic
march: well I think I’m optimistic
march: come on it’s our last year of university
march: aren’t you guys looking forward to something happening like new romance?
caelus: not really
march: okay be lonely igs
himeko: LMAOOO
dan heng: literally go to bed
march: ah you guys are no fun :(
march: @himeko @welt do you guys have any advice you guys are sensible
dan heng: If I cared enough I'd be offended
caelus: I think you're sensible too dan heng 😊
dan heng: oh
dan heng: thank you caelus
himeko: the immediate response 💀
march: hehe guys focus
welt: fine let’s see advice…
welt: I would say stay diligent in your studies, socialize but also prioritize when you need to and have fun
himeko: stay away from students that are pretty
caelus: 💀
march: 💀
dan heng: is this about kafka?
welt: yes
himeko: IT WAS NOT THAT BAD
himeko: I just decided not to date classmates is all
march: omg I forgot you two dated!
march: was it because she's pretty? 🥹✨
march: was it because she's bad tho? 🗣️
caelus: NAH march typing two different texting styles is wild 😭
himeko: …
himeko: maybe
walt: yes
himeko: I SAID MAYBE
welt: BUT YOU MEANT YES
march: well I think I want to try dating this year
march: dan heng and caelus you should listen to himeko’s advice
caelus: why?
caelus: I'm not dating anyone
dan heng: neither am I
caelus: oh right
caelus: can’t believe no one is dating my bestie 😤
caelus: a true travesty
dan heng: want to correct it?
caelus: what
dan heng: what
march: IF you dated someone I mean 😑
march: you both look like you’d attract hot people that are also weirdos
dan heng: DIE
caelus: I’m going to bed
caelus: thanks for the advice @welt @himeko
himeko: ofc
welt: sure
march: dan heng can you get me coffee before class?
dan heng: I’m going to get myself coffee before class tomorrow
caelus: what about me? 🥺
dan heng: and caelus igs
march: so you’re telling me if you don’t date anyone else you’ll just date each other?
march: that’s what you wrote in your diary one time right dan heng? :3
caelus: what
dan heng: DIE DIE DIE DI
__________
the gang 🤤
Monday, 12:48 PM
aventurine: @everyone do you think I can fund my whole education playing at a casino?
luocha: didn't you do that already?
topaz: 💀
jiaoqiu: LMAOOO
aventurine: luocha I thought you were nice 😭
aventurine: knew you were fake af
jing yuan: HELPPP
luocha: I’m snarky after working shifts and only coffee and energy drinks flooding my system
aventurine: sucks for you igs
luocha: you are actually rude you know that right?
aventurine: no I’m not
aventurine: I’m the most generous person ever
silver wolf: hey mr. most generous person ever pay my tuition rich boy
aventurine: sorry it would be a conflict of interest
aventurine: I’m not interested in doing it and I feel like that would lead to conflict :3
seele: NAHHH 💀
caelus: hi guys!
aventurine: OMG cae hi :3
caelus: hi aven :3
aventurine: hehe my day is going to be great everyone I just talked to my bbg 🫶
caelus: aven stop!
aventurine: I can't help it my cae makes me so happy 🥰😘♥️
herta: ew
guinaifen: HELP MEE
kafka: get this flirting out of here
aventurine: bitter because himeko won't talk to you?
himeko: oh no I'm sorry to hear that :((
sampo: 💀
boothill: ROFLLL
kafka: DIE
caelus: guys we’re just kidding
aventurine: aww really? 😕
blade: down bad mf
aventurine: you’re one to talk
caelus: hi blade
blade: @aventurine fuck u
blade: @caelus hey lol
luocha: ?
luocha: why didn’t I get a hello?
jing yuan: or me?
jiaoqiu: what about me? :((
caelus: I’m sorry
caelus: hi luocha. hi jing yuan, hi jiaoqiu
luocha: how is the love of my life?
caelus: ugh luo stop tugging at my heart strings like that
luocha: I can’t help it I MISS YOU when are we getting married? 💍🥹
caelus: after our statistics class lol
luocha: do you promise? ♥️
caelus: yes I’ll start prepping ♥️
luocha: I'll be waiting <33
silverwolf: why is everyone a fucking simp?
aventurine: NO WAY back the fuck up luocha 🤺
luocha: shut up he doesn’t even like you!
aventurine: YES HE DOES!!
aventurine: you like me right caelus? 😢
caelus: ofc aven we like this 🤞
aventurine: what if I want to be closer? 🫦
sushang: STOPPP
ratio: you all are annoying
caelus: oh hi ratio!
ratio: oh
ratio: hi caelus
caelus: 💙
ratio: 🩶
aventurine: I saw that mr.smarty pants
aventurine: pretending you aren’t a simp either
ratio: STFU
topaz: ratio only talks in the gc to yell at aventurine and when caelus is talking lol
jiaoqiu: enough attention on you guys
jiaoqiu: caelus baby I got a new recipe I'm trying come over to my place
caelus: food? sure!
aventurine: you bribe him with food?
jiaoqiu: well yeah
jiaoqiu: he loves my cooking
jiaoqiu: I want him to actually eat me but this will do for now
kafka: 💀💀💀
caelus: well you are pretty sweet 😘
jiaoqiu: I change my mind I want to eat you instead 😍😍
caelus: you can't really eat me jiaoqiu
jiaoqiu: I mean if you lay down preferably in my bed, open your legs and then I-
blade: DO NOT FUCKING FINISH THAT SENTENCE I'LL KILL YOU!
aventurine: HOMEWRECKER STFU!!
silver wolf: HELPP ME
seele: no shame from any of them
gepard: hi caelus
caelus: hi geppie
topaz: caelus ignoring jiaoqiu telling him to spread his legs I'M DYINGGG
caelus: better to let some things go
guinaifen: LOLOL
serval: also how come caelus can call you geppie and not get yelled at? 🤨
sampo: yeah geppie 🤨
gepard: because he actually doesn’t try to embarrass me when he says it
serval: so mean
serval: anyway gepard's face is so red caelus
gepard: SERVAL!!
caelus: aww gepard is so cute
serval: oh he dropped his phone
firefly: you guys are embarrassing
topaz: acting like they in heat too
luka: I-😭
jing yuan: caelus when are you going to visit me I’m lonely
caelus: oh I’m sorry you're lonely. I miss mimi. how is yanqing?
herta:💀
jing yuan: he’s fine and so is mimi haha 💔💔💔
jiaoqiu: not caelus ignoring jing yuan saying he missed him LMAOOO
jing yuan: kindly stfu
caelus: I’m kidding missed you too babe
jing yuan: giggling and kicking my feet ❤️
firefly: disgusting
jing yuan: oh well be bitter just say you can’t pull anyone 🥱
seele: PLEASSEE
luka: but fr jing yuan would only giggle and kick his feet for caelus let's be real
jing yuan: ofc my baby is so ughhh he's my favorite I'd give him the moon and stars if i could 🥰
jing yuan: like seriously is that offer for caelus to open his legs still on the table?
caelus: jing yuan I'm blushing 🥹
jing yuan: caelus I can make you blush harder 🥺
boothill: [voice message]
aventurine: why are you sending voice messages of you laughing?
boothill: sorry buddy thought it was ruder to type out jing yuan stole your man
seele: ☠️
aventurine: DIE
silver wolf: 🤢
firefly: I'm actually going to throw up you all disgust me
jing yuan: jealous lol
firefly: die
robin: everyday I worry for our souls
boothill: that's a mighty fine way of saying we're going to hell
topaz: 💀