Work Text:
Leo sat on the ground in his room, tapping the floor rapidly with his fingers with one hand, the other closed around a glass of water he'd been attempting to drink for a half hour now.
The anxiety roiling in his chest made it hard to breathe, feeling like there was a building on his chest.
Or—
'Stop, stop.' Leo squeezed his eyes shut, shoving away any thoughts of a gray, cold realm and a glowing red eye, 'Not now, not now, not now—'
His shell had never felt so exposed. Donnie had taken his battle-shell for maintenance to the lab a few hours ago, and ever since Leo just hadn't been able to settle.
He'd worn that thing constantly. It was safe. But now it was gone, and he felt like there were thousands of eyes on his shell, watching, waiting.
Or…one specific set of eyes. Watching, waiting for the perfect moment to strike—
He felt the glass shatter in his hands, water drenching his hand and spilling onto the floor.
He blinked down at the blood beginning to ooze from his hand, the glass still embedded in.
The fact he'd barely flinched, the reason why he hadn't—
Leo shook his head violently in an attempt to dispel the terrifying memories, launching himself from the floor and quickly making his way out of his room.
Pinky, who'd curled up in the room beside him the entire time, remained asleep.
Once Leo stepped out into the hallway the fear ignited tenfold.
'He's here, he's coming, run, run, run, hide, get away, get away, get—"
He found himself knocking on the lab door before he'd even realized where his feet had taken him.
He could faintly hear Donnie working on the battle-shell, the familiar sounds of machinery at work coming through the door.
"Exasperated sigh. Nardo, I'm still working on it! It'll be done soon!" Donnie called. Though he'd said 'exasperated' he sounded completely calm, even a tiny bit happy.
Leo opened his mouth to shout something back, but was immediately slammed with, 'DON'T, DON'T HE'LL HEAR YOU, RUN, RUN—'
He knocked again, more frantically.
He heard Donnie's work pause.
The lab doors opened, Donnie standing right behind them, "What's wrong—" his eyes landed on Leo's hand, widening, "What the— get in here!" He grabbed Leo's shoulder, pulling him into the lab, "You don't have to knock when it's an emergency!"
Leo stared at him, eyes wide as he took shaking, panicked breaths.
Donnie met his eyes, swallowing before gently urging him towards a chair, "Go sit. I have a med-kit in here, I'll take care of it."
Leo couldn't move. He couldn't move, he was coming, he's coming—
"Leo?" Donnie's voice drastically softened, a realization washing over his face, "Leo, can you hear me?"
Leo nodded jerkily, willing himself to respond but he just. Couldn't.
"Alright, I'm gonna help you. Just give me one second. You're safe in here." He gestured around the lab as he hesitantly stepped away, keeping his eyes on Leo as he opened a drawer.
He pulled out a white box, walking back over to his brother, "I need you to sit down for me."
Leo's eyes landed on the chair. 'Not safe, not safe, not safe—'
Donnie grabbed Leo's shoulders, fear and worry mixing in his eyes, "Deep breaths. It's okay." He tried to guide him towards the chair gently, but Leo wouldn't budge.
"Dee, he—" Leo cut himself off, eyes darting around the room, "My shell—" he couldn't explain it. He couldn't tell him what was wrong.
"Your—?!" Donnie sucked in a sharp breath, darting around and lifting Leo's cape to get a look at his shell.
Leo was surprised to find that his anxiety didn't heighten at all by Donnie doing that.
Donnie scanned over his shell, eyebrows furrowing before he dropped Leo's cape again.
"Your shell? Your shell is fine— well not fine, but it's normal." Donnie stepped back into Leo's view again, expression pinched in worry, "What's got you so—"
His eyes widened.
"...Oh. Okay, give me one second." Donnie turned and walked away.
Leo stared after him, confused and breathing rapidly as his eyes squeezed shut. 'Please don't go, please don't leave me he's coming, I don't want to die please help me—'
He felt a hand grip his shoulder, "I'm not leaving you." Donnie's voice was angry, but not at Leo.
'Oh. Did I say that out loud?'
"No." Donnie's voice was flat and tense, and Leo realized he could feel his concern sharp as a blade, his burning rage towards Krang Prime for doing this to his fucking twin.
Leo could sense Donnie thinking, 'I can fix this, I can fix this.' and realized—
'Oh. I pulled you into a mind meld.' Leo winced. He hadn't meant to, this sort of thing just… happened with his brothers sometimes, whenever Leo was in distress and subconsciously reached for them. They always just automatically let him in with zero hesitation.
'It's alright.' Donnie responded in his mind, holding a pillow and the med-kit in one hand and gently taking Leo's in his other, 'Come with me. I can help.'
Donnie forced himself to feel a rushing calm wash over him and subsequently Leo as well, mingling with the panic, subduing it.
'Deep breaths. Inhale for four seconds, hold for four seconds, exhale for four seconds.'
Leo shakily copied Donnie's instructions as they arrived at their destination— the wall?
'Don't question my methods. Sit.' Donnie gently tugged Leo's arm until he was sitting on the floor.
Donnie put the pillow between the wall and Leo's shell, who sat back against it.
The grounding pressure made the rushing anxiety slowly begin to lessen and ebb away.
"Deep breaths." Donnie began speaking out loud again, sitting in front of him. "I'm here, you're safe. You're not there." Donnie recited the familiar mantra quietly, comfortingly, "You're home, you're safe. Breathe."
Leo could feel Donnie forcing himself to remain calm, forcing that slow coursing river to keep pressing against Leo's panicked mind until his breathing slowed enough.
Donnie exited the mind meld, and the loss of the connection with his twin made Leo's head spin for a second.
"You're okay. You're in the lab." Donnie continued, "No one's here but us. I won't let anything hurt you." Donnie opened up the med-kit, pulling out a pair of tweezers and bandages. He carefully wrapped Leo's wrist, tilting it towards him so he could get to work on the slider's hand.
Leo took another deep, shaky breath. He felt his shoulders loosen as the panic flowed away.
"...Thanks, Dee." He murmured quietly, shakily.
Donnie nodded in acknowledgement, still looking at him assessingly in a worried manner, "Are you okay?" He asked after a moment.
Leo nodded, curling his knees to his chest and hugging them with one arm while Donnie continued to fix the other, "Mhm." He glanced away, "I'm…I'm sorry about that."
"Exasperated sigh, Nardo, how many times do we need to tell you not to apologize for things you can't control?" Donnie tilted his head with a scowl.
Leo shrugged, "I…was just…" He wanted to tell him why he'd panicked, but…the unfounded fear that his brother would judge him lingered. The fear he'd think he was fragile, weak.
"You were scared because your shell was exposed?" Donnie guessed, glancing towards where he had been working on Leo's battle-shell, "It's almost done, don't worry."
Donnie looked back down at Leo's hand, pulling the last piece of glass out. He applied a disinfectant, then slowly began wrapping it in the bandages.
Leo nodded, squeezing his legs a little tighter as he turned his head away. The shame washed over him like a tide— 'Stupid. Stupid, stupid— why did I panic over just something as dumb as my shell not being covered?? It's not like there's any danger here. I can't believe I got my shell ruined so badly— it's supposed to protect me, now it can't even do its one purpose.'
Donnie's eyes narrowed from where he'd been watching him— as if from Leo's expression alone he'd been able to tell exactly what his brother had been thinking.
Leo winced, waiting for the ensuing lecture— but…it never came.
Donnie shuffled so he was leaning against the wall beside him. "Do you remember when we were little—" he began suddenly, startling Leo even if the softshell's voice had been low, "—When we were playing a little too rough, and Raph accidentally hurt my shell?"
Leo grimaced. How could he forget? Donnie's shell had been badly bruised for weeks. Poor Raph had sobbed over it for even longer— the way he and Mikey had tried so hard to take over damage control while Splinter took care of Donnie—
Yeah. It was a rough couple months.
"...Mhm." Leo didn't have it in him to speak more— the lingering fear that he may be listening stuck, even if logically he knew better.
Donnie looked forward again, "I didn't let any of you touch my shell for months. Dad had to hold me down to treat it."
"You strapped a pillow to your back." Leo mumbled, "Walked around calling it your—"
Battle-shell.
Sudden clarity washed over Leo— he knew why Donnie decided to bring this up.
Donnie nodded, "Yep. My first ever battle-shell. I was working on an actual, official genius-built-apparel one— but with the limited resources we had—"
"You were, like, six too."
"With the limited resources we had—" Donnie emphasized, shooting him a glare with no real heat behind it, "I was unable to build a better one. Therefore, the pillow solution." He gestured at the one between Leo's shell and the wall.
"What— what I'm trying to say is…" Donnie sighed, "I…I understand. Feeling like your shell isn't adequate enough to protect you. I've felt that every single day of my life." He huffed out a humorless laugh.
Leo blinked at his twin. He wasn't alone in this. He never had been.
…Maybe once, he was. But never again.
"But…you know what I focus on, when I feel how you're feeling?" Donnie asked, turning to look his brother in the eyes once more. "That I have you guys. That…that you won't let anything happen to me, when my battle-shell fails. Or…" he gestured at his desk, "When it needs repairs."
Leo's gaze followed the gesture, swallowing tightly.
"And you have us too." Donnie continued, jabbing his finger at Leo in an almost threatening manner, "You're not alone in this. You never have been so…let us take care of you, okay?"
Leo leaned over, butting his forehead against Donnie's shoulder. "Okay…thanks, Dee."
The two of them sat in silence for a long moment, watching as Shelldon silently flew over to the battle-shell to continue working on it in Donnie's stead.
'Course he was listening.' Though Leo felt no anger or discomfort over the drone having heard all that, he still rolled his eyes.
"I'm not…good at this touchy-feely stuff." Donnie muttered as he wrapped his arms around his twin, hugging him gently before he cut into a slightly humorous, awkward tone— "How would you rate that comfort experience? Satisfying? Very very—"
"I'd say that one was a 10/10." Leo cut him off sincerely, shutting his eyes. He was so, so tired.
"Oh." Donnie blinked. Then he smiled, looking quite proud of himself. "I'm glad."