Chapter Text
“Your big brother goes to To-Oh now, right, Sayu?”
Sayu’s head perked up from its focus on her ice cream, her eyes following a little behind to meet Fuyumi’s. Her brain registered what was said. Quickly, Sayu replied, “Mhm! Top of his school before his first class!” Her patented ‘My big brother is the best’ smile stretching onto her face on instinct. “He’s studying law so he can take over as the head honcho of the NPA, as if they wouldn’t be happy to have him without it.” Sayu added, feeling genuine relief at the statement.
She was happy her brother would be taking over so Dad could finally retire and relax. The image of her father’s pallid skin as he lied on the hospital bed still not leaving the back of her mind. Even more, she was happy Light would finally be pursuing things he loved doing, instead of being held back by classes he didn’t need.
“Wow, your brother is so cool! I wish my brother was like yours, giving speeches and winning tennis tournaments, instead he just collects stupid manga. It clutters his whole room.” Sayaka replied, wrinkling her nose in distaste. Fuyumi chuckled, “What, think you’re too good to read manga? I could have sworn I saw a shelf in your room full of it…”
Sayaka gestured widely with her arm, clinking her bracelets and nearly swinging her purse onto Sayu’s head. “That’s different! I read tasteful things, not the garbage my brother reads. And I’m not obsessed, either! You should’ve seen him, one time he stood outside a manga store for hours before it opened just so he could get first dibs on a new volume! He ended up getting a cold and sneezed all over the cover, too. Ugh, can’t believe I’m related to that guy…”
Fuyumi and Sayu laughed off their friend’s complaining. Sayu couldn’t relate to having a loser brother, but she could understand not believing you were related. Fuyumi, as usual, circled the conversation back to Light, “Hey, how come he stopped playing tennis? I loved going to the games. The matches were crazy intense!”
Sayu knew Fuyumi had been more interested in Light than the matches but humored her anyway, “Our parents insisted that cram school was more important than tennis practice. And, seeing as Light wasn’t playing to go pro, makes sense in hindsight.”
Sayu took another bite of her ice cream. Fuyumi kept the conversation going, “I guess. I bet he’s happy he doesn’t have them anymore though, cram school is so boring.” Sayaka hummed in agreement, finishing her cone and crushing the wrapper in her palm. Sayu nodded for the sake of nodding.
Her friend’s head perked up as she continued, “Is he doing all those cool college things now that he has more free time? Parties? School clubs?” Sayu lifted up her head in contemplation. Now
that she thought about it, Light had been coming home late recently. Though if it was for parties or clubs, he would’ve told her and Mom so he could pass the normal check. She hummed, “I don’t know about any of that. But he has been out of the house more, maybe he has a secret girlfriend?” She knew he didn’t, but it was funny to even suggest. Little sisters have to tease their older brothers, even when they’re not there to witness it.
Sayaka and Fuyumi both gasped in semi-fake-melodrama. Sayu rolled her eyes and licked her ice cream. Same old, same old.
“Please let that not be true, please!”
“That’s not fair! Why does the world steal all the hotties?!”
She couldn’t tell which said which, but it didn’t matter either way. The trio paused their walk for a brief moment so Sayaka could throw her wrapper in the trash. The conversation about her shining star of a big brother continued.
A dramatic sigh, “I suppose it was only a matter of time. With the way I’ve seen people flock to your brother, he only had to whistle and a girl would come running. How many friends does he have anyways? Hundreds, thousands?” Sayaka’s body seemed dragged down by every sentence, the humor not lost on her friends.
Sayu huffed, “Everyone seems to know him, so probably, yeah.” Could Sayu name any friends? No, and she doubts Light could either. But that was their little secret.
“I bet everyone does! He’s got the looks, the brains, the brawn, he’s got everything! Can’t he spare some talent for the rest of us? I’m dying here.”
Sayu ignored how hard that statement resonated with her. Instead, she puffed out her cheeks, “I don’t know about all that…”
Fuyumi playfully scoffed, “You’re just saying that because he’s your brother. He’s always been like that to you. Unless…” A smirk, “He had some nerdy, awkward phase you haven’t told us about yet. C’mon, spill.” Sayaka gasped, “Oh, please tell me he did! I need an ego boost!”
Sayu thought hard about it. Really, really hard. So hard in fact, she almost marched past the clothing store they’d been walking to the entire time. Pausing, she took one final bite of her ice cream.
“Nah, he’s always been like that. Since I could remember everyone in his class would come to his birthday parties and his teachers would gush about him to Mom and Dad.” She didn’t feel too bitter saying it. Everyone always liked Light, but at the same time, everyone always liked Sayu. Sure, it came easier to her brother, but somehow, Sayu feels more accomplished than him in that regard. Maybe because she knew she was more genuine than him.
“The smart types are usually introverted. Guess once again your brother is the exception, huh?”
“Mhm,” she crushed her cone wrapper, “He’s always been a people person.”
『••✎••』
The cushion of his seat felt less soft than usual, the tint of the window darker, and the AC more frigid. He’d ask Watari to turn it down, but that would be admitting he was uncomfortable. Light couldn’t be slipping before the day even started.
Not that he was anticipating slipping at all, obviously.
Aiber’s voice, which blended in with the radio, continued where Light’s mind couldn’t.
“Don’t forget to smile, Light, and I’m not talking about the constipated-looking ones. I mean smile like you’re getting paid $500 for each tooth shown.” An expensive watch clinked like the metal of a chain. Light swallowed. Aiber noticed.
Staring out the window, Light could nonetheless see the smile on Aiber’s face through his voice, “Hey, it’s no big deal, okay? You’re more than capable of doing this. We’ve prepared, we’ve plotted, the whole shebang. All that’s left is the execution, which you have locked and loaded, eh buddy?”
Aiber’s attempts at receiving banter were lackluster, but Light owed him at the very least something resembling a conversation. He shifted his weight and made what he hoped was adequate eye contact, “What should I do if I get caught planting the bugs?” Their weight felt ominous in his jean pockets.
A half-hearted chuckle, “Don’t anticipate getting caught, little Yagami. But in the unlikely chance that does happen, try acting as if you found it yourself if you can. If not, we might have to pull you out and get back to the drawing board.”
A drawing board more empty than the task force’s heads. Light didn’t want to be the reason the investigation got sent back to square one.
That would only be proving L right.
Light would rather choke himself to death than let that happen.
“Understood.” He dryly replied. Once again, his head tilted to the window. He let his eyes trace the cars passing by them. The constant movement felt steadying to him, allowing the brunette to center his mind.
This was just a job, not the end of the world.
Everyone else got through their days just fine.
Light Yagami was not lesser than them. Therefore, he could do this with no issue.
It was easy being the top student in the country, it was easy to do this.
Just remember to breathe and stay focused.
Light’s posture relaxed in his chair, the familiar weight of normalcy lowering his shoulders and straightening his back. He allowed himself to pick his nails a few more times before settling them on his lap. A car passed and so did his eyes with it, landing straight ahead.
The blonde man beside him smiled. He put his can of sparkling water down and scratched his beard, “Oh yeah, you’re more than ready.”
Much too soon, the car slowed to a crawl before finally stopping at a curb. Light looked to the right and was met with the Sakura TV building right outside the window. He swallowed again.
“Wish me luck.” He said offhandedly. Light smoothed out his jeans, both to remove the creases and wipe the sweat building on his palms. His hands clutched the binder on the middle seat. With legs far too shaky, he made his way out of the vehicle. Instantly, once his shoes met concrete, a horde of sounds and smells hit him. The whizz of cars behind him, the stench of gasoline, voices passing by, and smoke in the air. Light immediately held his wrist to his nose, hoping to cover the reeking nicotine with his cologne. In the background, he could hear Aiber exclaim, “Knock em’ dead!”
His brain barely processed the sentence before he heard the car pull away. Light stared as the sleek black became nothing but an innocuous dot in the horizon. A few moments passed, he looked once more at the building. No time like the present.
Inhale, exhale, he walked inside.
The smell of the indoors was…refreshing. Clean floors and counters, potted plants, a quieter hum of voices, all slotting nicely in the schema of a lobby in Light’s head. Familiar, but foreign enough that he felt safer than he did in headquarters. Approaching the front desk, the brunette reminded himself that he hadn’t done anything wrong yet, so nobody had a reason to stare.
It barely lessened the sensation of being watched.
A breath or two passed by the time the secretary placed her attention on him. Light reminded himself to look at her ear if the eyes were too much. She smiled plainly and spoke, “Hello. How can I help you, sir?” To her, he was like everyone else, there was no reason for her to be malicious. And she wasn’t. Still, it was a task to keep his head up.
A pause that might have been too long, “I-I’m,” A stutter, bad start, “I’m here to start as a news production assistant? I was told to come in at this time for orientation and training. The name’s Light Yagami.” He plastered a smile on his face, hoping the woman didn’t notice it shake. Was it too late to say good morning? Should he ask her how her day was?
“Okay! Let me just check the system to see who’s overseeing you and call them down, you may take a seat over there. Welcome to the team!” She chirped, gesturing her hand to a small lounge behind him. Nodding, he uttered a quiet ‘thank you’ before retreating to a couch.
Inhale, exhale.
Clenching his hands, he told himself he was doing fine.
It could’ve been five minutes, it could’ve been ten, all Light knew was that it was too soon when someone approached him.
It was a plain looking woman with a beige cardigan covering a navy sweater and long, pleated skirt. Her black hair was pulled into a low ponytail and her brown eyes gazed simply. She couldn’t have been older than 30. With a small smile, she held her hand out, “Yagami-san, yes? I’m Yui Tanaka, nice to meet you. I’m your senior production assistant and will be showing you how things are done around here. Do you have the papers my supervisor told you to bring?”
There were several things to respond to in her introduction and Light’s brain whirred to conjoin the proper phrases to say that would be cohesive. He cleared his throat, “Yes, I’m him. Uh,” Did he need to say that? Wasn’t responding positively answer enough that he was who she thought he was? Fuck, she was staring, no time to focus on that. “T-The papers are here.” Light held out his binder to her, the motion so jittery that Tanaka slightly flinched. The brunette continued while trying to ignore that, “It’s nice to meet you too. Thank you for…showing me around?” That phrasing was off. It made no sense to thank her for something she hadn’t even done yet.
He was fucking this up already, wasn’t he? Even with all the practice, he still couldn’t find his footing in a conversation not coated with hostility. How was Light going to get through the day if he couldn’t get goddamn pleasantries right?
Shit, shit, shit. He couldn’t think like this. A conversation is not a battle, but a routine. Like putting clothes in the laundry, Light needed to simply perform the correct motions and remember the basic facts. That’s all.
Tanaka, unknowing of his turmoil, chuckled lightly, “Someone’s excited, huh?” She gently took the binder from his hands. “Well, you’ve already seen the lobby, so let's move on to the other rooms. Don’t be afraid to ask any questions, okay?” She turned her back to him and walked, expecting him to follow. Light’s feet hesitated before they did just that.
They went around the first floor; the studio stage was dark and silent as the morning broadcast had already aired, the wires plentiful and difficult not to trip over, the production control room was also dim, the buzzing of the fans and monitors not leaving his mind even after stepping out of the room, the bathrooms were standard, the janitorial closet dusty, and the archive room filled with cobwebs. So many rooms all at once, either cramped or cold.
Light had to constantly remind himself not to stare at his shoes but his surroundings and Yui herself, when she occasionally turned his way. With every professional note about the equipment or schedules, she’d make a quirky comment or pleasant observation. With every smile asking for validation, Light had to kick himself to smile back. With every step he made, his heartbeat grew a little louder.
He was internally pleading that she didn’t notice him stagger with every shoulder he almost brushed in the hallways.
His hands clenched as they reached the second floor. The newsroom, to a predictive misfortune, was more lively and populated. Two opposing walls held up six screens each high, featuring an eclectic assortment of channels. Clocks of different time zones above whiteboards settled on the opposite wall from the door. There were several rows of long tables so cramped chair arms always brushed and monitors almost connected. An overworked printer sat at every corner. Voices shouted over each other, phones rang, various live feeds blathered, and Light’s head kept echoing each sound over and over again. A woman cackled, a man yelped, people were laughing. But were they laughing at him?
To his dismay, some of his unwilling discomfort must have made itself present on his face, as Tanaka’s smile faltered and her eyes crinkled. “A bit loud, isn’t it?” Her pace slowed as she approached what had to be the assignment desk, its u-shape and sparse two chairs setting it apart from the rest. Light saw Yui’s lips moving but his brain couldn’t parse the meaning of the sounds coming out of her mouth. Oddly, his eyes landed at the hands on the other side of the desk and stayed there. Callouses, a wrist watch, white sleeve cuffs, nothing noteworthy. They moved, first lying on a keyboard then gesturing up and down.
Up and down…Down, up…Waving now…Waving at…Him?
Oh shit, they were talking to him.
Time caught up, the ringing noise more noticeable now that it disappeared.
“---gami-san? Hello?”
He blinked. A moment too long passed.
“Uhm, my apologies. Hello, nice to meet you…” FUCK. He wasn’t paying attention!
The man, whose five-o-clock shadow was depressingly lighter than his eye bags, creased his brows, “Goichi Takahashi.” His tone was somehow less dry than Light’s mouth, who suddenly felt the urge to cough. There was a pause of uncomfortable silence. A script played in his head. “Right, yes. Nice to meet you, Takahashi-san.”
Takahashi’s face didn’t lose its creases as he slowly turned to Tanaka. Consistently quick to add levity, Tanaka grinned, “A bit of a greenhorn, but hey, who wasn’t at some point? Anyways, can you tell us which desk he was assigned? I can’t remember if it was Shibata’s or Arisawa’s.”
The older man was evidently losing interest in the conversation. Gesturing his head in a vague direction, his gaze focused on his computer rather than the two of them. A sniff, “The latter. I have his lanyard here for when you’re done setting him up.”
Tanaka smiled and uttered a quick thanks before moving. Light’s eyes trailed to Takahashi’s throat for a moment, watching his Adam’s apple bob, until he left as well.
A few paces and they stopped. The overwhelming noises of journalistic society finally habituated for Light as he determined himself not to falter again. A standard computer set-up and phone met him, less lustrous and modern than the one he had at headquarters.
A pang of disappointment, quickly smothered by the overt brightness of Tanaka. “Ta-da! Your very own desk! You’ll mostly use it for corresponding with the editors and tech crew, preparing scripts, research, crunching video footage, and staring at the clock until lunch break, ha! This whole table,” She swayed her hand, "belongs to us PA, and my desk is at the head of it, so don’t be a stranger. All of the tables are organized by mediums and type of coverage. Oh, and the edit suites are next door, the master control room next to them, and the IT office next to them at the end of the hall. You don’t need to worry about those yet today though, so I’ll mostly show you the rooms on the other side of the hall after we’re done here, ‘kay?” Goddamn, where could she breathe in that entire speech? Light would be impressed if he wasn’t busy trying to pry his tongue off the roof of his mouth.
“Understood.” He mumbled in reply. The bare-bone response didn’t seem to hamper the woman’s enthusiasm. With gusto, she rolled out his chair and gestured for him to sit. Light swallowed before following the unspoken instruction. But even so, he turned his chair enough so that his back wouldn’t face her.
The angle was odd, yet no comment was made as Tanaka pointed at the computer monitor. “Lets get your login settled, shall we? And once we’ve done that, I can send you every email account that you’ll need to know and get you familiar with some of the programs.”
Light quietly exhaled, feeling more comfortable at a desk. If he tried hard enough, he could pretend he was back at headquarters, and that the loudness boiling around him and pouring into his skull was simply the bumbling Kira Task Force. As much as it pained him to admit a small comfort in that terrible place. He could even pretend that Tanaka’s black hair in his peripheral vision was L’s.
With Tanaka’s guidance the computer tasks were simple, if a little tedious. Click this, click that, assimilate, accommodate. The woman’s small amazement at his typing speed placed an odd sense of pride Light had no clue what to do with. Furthermore, her confusion at the spelling of his name versus its pronunciation was so banal that Light almost felt like he was teleported to years in the past. When everything was normal. Mind-numbingly plain.
“I must admit, I was a little confused on why I was told to call you ‘Light’ instead of ‘Tsuki’, I just thought it was a cute little nickname or something!”
He sighed, “No, my parents were just a little rebellious when I was born and gave me a kira-kira name, utterly disregarding how my entire life I’d have to correct people.” He almost rolled his eyes before stopping himself. Goddammit, that wasn’t something friendly people say. The comment was borderline passive-aggressive. Did Tanaka hate him now? Did she think he was an asshole? He was a little afraid to see the expression on her face. To see the signs of budding irritation that would inevitably pool into hatred.
“Ah, I forgot that’s what they’re called! Guess the name kinda got overshadowed by Kira, huh?”
Even worse, as a jolt of blood-curdling hatred pooled into Light’s gut instead. His posture straightened, lips tugging downward, as the sudden reminder of why he was here startled his nervous system into unknown action. How dare she utter that name not with disgust, but with the unrepentant positivity that she thoughtlessly carried. If Light didn’t have a grasp on her character before, he did now. She was a simple-minded, vapid woman who had the nerve to feel safer in the world that monster was creating. Fucking morons.
In a cosmic joke, this was the time that Demegawa decided to show his face.
Swinging his arms upward in a cheer, the pig of a man waddled into the room. His countenance one of someone who wasn’t smacked enough in their life. “Kira’s made another spectacle for us! Fifty people dead in just the past hour! I better see you people writing some pages!”
Light clenched his fists and ensured his scowl was only visible to the monitor’s reflection. This man would be a bigger headache than L, no doubt. An accomplishment worthy of trophies.
The unwelcome thought that B would’ve liked that comment entered his mind. He mentally swatted it like the nuisance it was.
However, if Light got into his good graces, it would prove beneficial in the long run. As painfully difficult as it would be. He must get used to taking the good with the bad like the optimist he used to be.
During his rumination, the tub of lard named Demegawa walked towards the PA table. Tanaka politely bowed, Light saw in the screen’s reflection, yet the smile on her face was noticeably forced. He supposes even the dullest find Demegawa unbearable. Good to know.
Demegawa slapped his pudgy hand onto her shoulder, leaning into her face overbearingly, “How ya doing, doll? Treating the new guy nice and good? I hope he turns out better than the others, ha!” The man howled in a laughter only ass-kissers would join in on.
Light was starting to realize that comparing him to a pig earlier was doing a disservice to the animal. An unspoken apology was made.
Before Light could make a positive first impression, the heavier man decided it was a bright idea to also invade his personal space. A greasy hand slammed onto the top of his head. Light’s body seized from the contact and a frazzled sensation sparked from the crown of his head to the tips of his feet. There was an evident, sharp inhale. Not necessarily spooked, but undeniably bothered. He could only pray the utter disgust on his face would only be witnessed by the now dark monitor.
There was no hiding the flinch, however.
He could smell the budding distaste in Demegawa, like fatty, oily fish. Any slight against Sakura TV’s head honcho was worth countless demerits. Even unconscious ones.
The abhorrent ego of this man.
Sticky sugar and salt grains were no doubt being smeared into the locks of his hair. Slimy oils entrenching into the hair product he and Wedy had so carefully catered. The sad excuse of a man was quite literally rubbing Light’s discomfort in.
Don’t sink into the anger that pools in your stomach. Drag yourself out kicking and screaming. Be the man you used to be. The Light Yagami of then would give Demegawa no reason to dislike him. That person is somewhere inside him, he had to be.
Otherwise, what use was he to the Kira investigation?
Find a silver lining, a light at the end of the tunnel. Cling onto it, regardless if it's the glimmer of an LED or the rays of sunlight. It needed to be real now more than later.
If Demegawa was still bothering him, it meant he was still trying to feel him out. Test the waters. First impressions rapidly swing in their first few moments so nothing was lost yet. He’d display goodwill and keep that visage for every interaction here on out. This was always the plan, but Light needed the reminder to maintain it even for the most vile.
An idea sparked like the blinking on-switch of the computer.
He shivered again, to lay it on thick in case his initial reaction was lost to Yui or Demegawa. Then, ensuring the flush on his face remained, Light jerkily swiveled his chair so as to get a clear view of his superiors. A stammer, “Oh, Demegawa-kachō! I-It’s nice to meet you!” Light bowed jankily while sitting, giving the impression his body was rocked from a harsh sneeze rather than a composed bow. He fiddled with his hair and cleared his throat to really sell it.
Demegawa gave a befuddled brow raise, “And what do they call ya, newbie?”
“A-Ah, Yagami, sir. I must say, I was a really big fan of the 3 hour special you did on the Kiku TV scandal two years ago. It was r-really inspiring, the way you tackle stories is unlike any other!” Channel the inner Matsuda. Own it. Act easily impressed and manipulated. That special was shit. This man is shit. But pretend you don’t know that.
The brain cells behind Demegawa’s thick skull were obviously working overtime as the man hummed for a full minute, staring. Then, a bark of laughter. “Ha! I remember that! We tore those bastards to pieces! Their station can’t even reach half of our numbers these days!”
Light pretended the visible cringe on his face was a snort from laughter, “Served them right, Demegawa-kachō. Wonder if we can replicate those results for other stations…” While the cruel glint in his eyes would be seen directed towards their rivals, Light knew it was intended for his conversation partner. As Aiber instructed, redirect all negativity. Use his energy to a more positive goal. Create a common enemy to build rapport.
Phrases that belonged more on fortune cookies than his head, but were helpful nonetheless.
“I like the initiative, kid. Oi, Tanaka, you’ve got a good one here.” As Demegawa turned his attention to the woman, she noticeably startled. She then began massaging her hands repetitively. A nervous habit Light didn’t notice before. “U-Uhm, thank you, Demegawa-kachō…” Tanaka said, making only brief eye contact.
Stomping away, the bigger man’s presence still weighed the atmosphere after his departure. Then, a light sigh broke through, “I’m glad you’re more talkative now, Yagami-san.”
Light needed to nurture positive relations with everyone he came across, therefore, he was forced to let some reality leak in. There was no way even someone as simple as Tanaka would like someone buddy-buddy with her slimy boss. He scratched the back of his neck, “To be honest, I was just trying to be nice so he’ll stop bothering you. Is he that…touchy with everyone?”
The discomfort that hadn’t left her face now dissolved, “O-Oh, that’s so kind of you. And yes, he is, though he’s noticeably more aggressive around the girls here…” She tucked a lock of hair behind her ear, “I appreciate the honesty, Yagami-san, I’ve felt like you didn’t really like me at the start, but I guess you’re just shy, huh?” A relieved smile painted her features. If Light didn’t already decide he would dislike her, he might’ve been endeared by it.
He reflected the smile he received in perfect imitation, “Just a little nervous in a new place, is all.”