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"What the hell happened out there?" Bruce asked as soon as the group had made it back to the cave. His cowl was down in an instant, slamming the batmobile door shut before stomping over to the computer. Dick winced slightly at Bruce's growl, the familiar tone almost always meaning a long lecture was ahead. Dick looked around the cave, averting his eyes from Bruce. Tim and Cass were supporting Steph as they walked to a cot, depositing Steph and helping Alfred patch up the wounds on her leg. Damian stood back slightly, watching as the group worked. Jason leaned back against his motorcycle, his helmet under his arm with a completely unenthused look on his face.
Dick would have to admit, tonight was pretty rough. It seemed like everyone was making mistake after mistake and nobody was sure why. Luckily the mistakes weren't causing anybody else to slip up or get hurt. That was until Dick attempted to go after a bad guy who had throwing knives, completely missed, and caused Stephanie to get hit with said throwing knives. Dick had immediately felt bad and hadn't stopped feeling guilty all night, even after reassurance from Steph that it was an accident and sometimes accidents happen.
Regardless, Bruce was angry and Dick felt more shame than he had felt in a really long time. "B I-"
"You what? You're sorry? You didn't mean to? That suddenly makes it all better. You know better than this, Dick. I trained you better than this, so what the hell were you thinking?" Bruce had turned from his spot at the computer and was now facing Dick. Dick hung his head low, taking in everything Bruce was saying. The rest of the cave was quiet, the weight of the night's events hanging over everyone's heads.
"It was an accident, B-" Dick started and was once again cut off by Bruce.
"I don't care if it was an accident. Accidents don't happen in the field. I mean-" Bruce paused and shook his head. "I don't know how it's possible for one human to be so unbelievably useless. " Everyone in the Cave seemed to stop breathing, except for Dick. Dick's heartbeat picked up, his breathing quickening as well. It felt like white noise had filled his ears and he wasn't completely sure what to do.
He was no stranger to Bruce's outbursts, bearing the brunt of them since he was a child, but he'd never been called out like this in front of his entire family. Dick wanted to say something, to defend himself or just give in to Bruce's proclamation, because on some levels, Dick felt it was true. He'd never been the perfect Robin, he'd made too many mistakes. He was too eager, too hyper, to be a good side kick. He surely had never been the perfect ward. He'd broken too many chandeliers to count and wasn't even close to what the Gotham Socialites would have expected for Bruce Wayne's first son. He'd grown up in the circus for fucks sake, he barely spoke English when he first arrived. Once he did learn, he never shut up.
Even when he'd been fired and attempted to be his own person he wasn't good enough. Tarantula proved he wasn't a good enough mentor, even if he was acutely aware that what happened with her would never be his fault. His own family hated him half the time, Tim still never forgiving him for choosing Damian to be his Robin, Jason never forgiving him for his earlier resentment towards the second Robin, and Damian would never forgive him for just not being enough.
It was exhausting to try and disprove Bruce's point. He's been trying for years, there's now way he's going to change The Batman's mind in a few sentences, so he just didn't say anything. He let the guilt consume him and lowered his head and hunched his shoulders.
"What? Not going to say anything?" Bruce pushed, like he was trying to fight Dick at this point. Dick just shook his head and whispered.
"You're a bad father." And then Dick was gone, forcing back the tears he refused to let fall in front of everyone.
—
"What the actual fuck, Bruce?" Jason seethed as soon as Dick had left the cave. Bruce didn't respond, just turned around and began typing away at the computer. Jason shook his head and stepped forward, grabbing Bruce's wrist. "You are so unbelievable. First you practically tell your own son that he's not worth your time and then you go back to working like nothing happened." Bruce shook Jason's hand off his wrist and turned around to face him.
"It was his fault that Steph-"
"It was the person who threw the knife's fault that I got hurt." Steph spat from her place on one of the cave beds. "Don't try to blame this on him." Jason and Bruce both turned to look at her, and she looked pissed. Tim, Cass, and Damian looked very much the same and even Alfred had a displeased frown on his face.
"Steph's right, you don't get to blame a field accident on Dick. We were all off our game tonight. It could have happened to any of us, it just so happened to be Dick." Tim explained, a bit more venom in his voice than normal.
"Drake is right, Father. You had no right to say that to Richard. He's not useless. Need I remind you he was the one who stepped up as Batman when you disappeared. He was the one who practically raised me, He's the one who defends Blüdhaven by himself while also helping you. He founded entire teams as a teenager, he was fighting crime completely unprepared as a child. You don't get to hold him to some high standard just because he made one mistake that you deem unacceptable." Damian was fuming as he spoke and Jason was almost worried that the kid was going to strangle Bruce. "You expect too much of him, of all of us. You're the problem, Father." And without another word, Damian took off, stripping his suit as he did so. Cass followed wordlessly, giving Bruce a death glare as she did. Jason was sure that if Steph could, she'd do the same.
That left Tim, Jason, Alfred, Bruce, and Steph. Steph's arms were crossed as she sat there, letting Alfred continue to bandage her wounds. "I fear they are all correct, Master Bruce. Master Dick made a mistake, as all of us do, that does not suggest that he deserved the treatment he received from you."
"Alfred-" Bruce attempted to rebut, getting cut off again.
"Come on, Bruce, you are not trying to argue with Alfred right now! You have to realize at some point that maybe you're the one who's wrong when literally everyone is disagreeing with you!" Jason blurted, fists tight in a ball.
"I'm not trying to argue, I'm simply saying that Dick's mistake could have caused Stephanie her life." Bruce stated as though he was the only person who could ever be right. Jason scoffed and turned to walk away.
"Of course because you've never made a mistake before. Need I mention my death? Dick's? Stephanie's? I really could keep going. Your own inability to accept your failures makes you blind to reality. You're a fucking hypocrite, Bruce. At least Dick showed any type of remorse for what happened, which was not his fault, while you would just pretend it didn't happen." Jason stopped in the middle of the cave, turning and pointing at Bruce. "Make it up to him, or I will convince him to leave. I'll convince all of them to leave you." He walked towards the stairs, turning back one last time. "We're not children anymore, Bruce, and the one of us that is, is smarter than you give him credit for. Watch yourself." Jason walked up the steps, listening to Tim's faint steps walking in his direction.
—
Dick wasn't a hundred percent sure what he was feeling. Empty. Numb. Like a fucking failure . After he left the batcave, he went to the roof of the manor. It was still dark, the moon hanging high in the sky. Dick would guess it's about three a.m. based on the time they arrived back at the manor. Luckily enough, crime seemed to cease to let the family deal with their drama. He's aware that that isn't completely true, but he'd like to believe that criminals have a little bit of sympathy.
He sat with his knees close to his chest, his arms wrapped around the limbs as the cold Gotham air rushed around him. It was dumb to go out in only the undershirt and shorts he wore beneath his costume, but Nightwing just casually sitting on Bruce Wayne's mansion would be much more suspicious, so he dealt with it. Dick closed his eyes and brought his head down to touch his knees. He took a deep breath, suppressing whatever emotions that were trying to peek through.
He wasn't sure how long he sat there before the sound of others footsteps sounded from behind him. He looked up, turning his head to look at his sides, watching Cass and Damian sit down on opposite sides of him. He sighed and shook his head.
"I'm so-"
"Shut up immediately, Richard. I will not hesitate to slap you if you try to apologize another time." Cass nodded along, beginning to move her hands, signing the familiar phrase.
'It's not your fault' Dick wanted to scoff and laugh right in both of their faces. Instead he settled for shaking his head and looking forward, staring into the dark sky.
"Isn't it?" He whispered into the emptiness. "It's always my fault."
"Richard, I am sure you are aware of the fact that you are not an imbecile, so I'm sure you can understand what I am saying." Damian began, carefully stepping and standing in front of Dick, effectively obscuring his view of the sky. "What Father said is simply untrue. You have made mistakes, yes, but the things he blames you for are not your burden to carry. What happened to Brown tonight was not your fault. Everything else he blames you for? Not your fault either. He did not have any right to say what he said to you." Damian spoke with so much authority coming from someone so young it almost had Dick believing him, but he just couldn't.
"Dami- He's right. I am useless. I screw up all the time. I never shut up! I mean- Bruce is a bad dad. But I'm an even worse son."
"Christ, Goldie, couldn't even go five minutes without giving into the old man's words. Thought you could last longer than that." Jason's voice interrupted Dick's self-deprecation. Dick let out a scoff this time, shaking his head. He turned around, watching Jason and Tim walk onto the roof. "We may not give you enough credit, but you're the best of us. You stepped up when you had to, hell you stepped up when you shouldn't have had to. You do a lot more than you give yourself credit for, and you are definitely not useless." And for some reason, that's what broke him. Jason admitting that maybe Dick isn't useless is what caused it all to come crashing down. Before he knew it, tears were streaming down his face and sobs were wracking his chest.
The first pair of arms to wrap around him were small, but too long to be Damian's. Cass. She held him tight as he brought his hand up to hold onto her arm while he cried. One by one, his siblings followed suit, Jason simply grabbing Dick's hand instead of hugging him. He stayed like that, sobbing in his sibling's embrace.
After a minute, he lifted his head and his siblings peeled themselves off of him. He sniffled, bringing his hand up to rub at his nose. "I thought I'd gotten past it. I thought I'd grown immune to the things he says. I know he doesn't mean it. He just gets angry and says things in the heat of the moment that are meant to hurt." He took a deep breath and sniffled once more. "But he didn't just try to hurt me. He tried to break me and I just let him." He shook his head again, bowing his head to his chest. "I'm just never enough for him. Why am I never enough for him?" His voice was basically a whisper by the time he was done speaking.
"Because he's Bruce, no one will ever be enough for him." Tim spoke up, placing a hand on Dick's knee. "But you're enough for us, more than enough. We love you, Dick, and that's what's important. I know you're going through a lot and it may not seem like a lot, but just remember we will always love you. Despite all the shit that we've been through, we love you. We always will."
His siblings nodded along as he looked between them and his heart swelled, making his chest feel tight. Not in the bad way this time, in the way in which he's finally realized that his family does love him. His chest was tight with love and appreciation and the feeling of maybe, just maybe he was good enough.
"Thank you." His voice cracked and he willed the tears to go away. He didn't want to cry again, especially over something as miniscule as the realization that his life does mean something.
"Of course, Richard. It's what we're here for." And Damian's voice was so full of honesty and Dick had never believed anything more in his entire life. His family was here for him and that was the only thing he had ever wanted. For someone to be there for him. And they were. They were here and he could let go. Let go of the burden. Let go of the pressure. Let go of it all and just allow himself to live. Not to live for others, but to live for himself. Live because it's what Dick Grayson wanted. Live because his parents had died and they would want him to go on. So he would, he'd go on because that's finally what he wanted. He was finally allowed to just be.