Chapter Text
By the time that Hobi arrived at the small cocktail bar to meet Emery, he was a mess internally and seemed to be going around in circles in his mind. After leaving Purple Aura he’d gone home to shower and change but decided to relax in a hot bath instead, the heat of the water did wonders for his muscles but nothing for his mind.
Emery was waiting for him, his beaming smile and bright orange shirt with extra large collar added even more colour to match his hair. He always radiated so much light and positivity, his rainbow aura evident in the colourful clothes and hair colours he chose. If there was anyone that Hobi would liken to a walking sunshine, it was his boyfriend and he instantly returned the smile as he approached him.
“Hey gorgeous.” Emery had been looking forward to seeing his man all day so as soon as it was possible he throws his arms around him and hugs him tightly.
“Hey, you all good?” Hobi’s stomach flutters as they share a kiss before sliding into the private round booth, side by side.
Emery nods, the booths are like individual bubbles dotted around the place, they are reserved for those who book them privately and the couple have used the same one since they started coming here. In the three months since they met, they’d visited often and they liked that the circular seating enabled them to sit side by side or sit to face each other but offered a freedom that other seating didn’t.
“How did it go at Purple Aura?” Emery had already ordered their drinks that were sitting on the table in front of them, they always had the same.
“The set looks great and the throne is like the throne from Game of Thrones but is gold and covered in jewels and stuff, I had to laugh to myself when I picture Jin sitting on it.”
“He’s more of a queen than a king though, huh?”
Hobi giggles, “That is a true statement.”
“Did the dancers like seeing the set? Did they get the chance to run through their steps or whatever it is you guys do?”
Hobi looks fondly at his boyfriend, he doesn’t really know a great deal about dance but he always tries and wants to learn. “They did, I had a chat with Tae’s P.A while they went through it. It worked out well because it gave them time to sort it out between them instead of having me breathing down their necks.”
“How’s Tae’s P.A coping without his boss?”
“He seems to be doing okay. He was relaxed and yet he’s so energetic too, I totally understand why Mochi wanted Tae to make a move on him.”
“Wasn’t Tae interested?”
“No, he doesn’t mix business and pleasure. Even if he did fancy his P.A he wouldn’t do anything about it. He probably does, it could even be one of the reasons he hired him, he looks like a china doll. He's like... erm... like a cherub... he looks at you with these huge eyes and his hair is curled into ringlets.”
Emery blinked quickly and raised his eyebrows, “He’s not your type then?”
Hobi smiles, leans across and kisses Emery on the cheek, “Absolutely not and even if he was, I’ve found my perfect man so someone being my type now is irrelevant.”
The man with the funky coloured hair beamed, “I’m your perfect man?”
“You are, you are bespoke.”
“Compliments will get you everywhere, you know?”
“That’s good to hear but I don’t say anything I don’t mean. It’s partly my feelings for you, the reason that I want to get to the bottom of these things with Jungkook. I do want Tae to be happy but he can’t be if there’s any truth to the accusations.”
“Do you still want to go to the diner? We could go together?”
“I do want to go but we’ll have to wait now because Stefan told me that Jungkook is with Tae in London.”
Emery was shocked but also not at the same time which confused him, “Looks like they really are a serious couple, huh?”
“Yeah. I didn’t know what to say when he told me.”
“What else did he say?”
“He said how happy Tae has been, how different he’s been at work. It was strange because he spoke about my friend like they were the friends and it made me feel like… like…”
Emery interrupted, “like you don’t know your friend at all?”
Hobi sighs, “... yeah, I suppose so. Stefan was so excitable and so pleased that Tae has met Jungkook and I suppose I feel like I’ve completely missed something.”
Emery slides closer and puts a hand on his boyfriend’s thigh, “Do you think Tae has confided in his P.A?”
“I don’t know? Possibly? He seemed very comfortable talking about him, so maybe? It didn’t feel like a conversation with an employee.”
“Let’s just presume that he has then. Did he say anything else? Has he met Jungkook?”
“No, he said he hopes to meet him one day. He was full of praise for them both, even said something about a surprise tomorrow.”
“What surprise?”
Hobi looked down briefly, “Exactly… I have no idea. One of my best friends is in London and is surprising his boyfriend and I found out via his P.A.”
“Right, well, we need a plan of action. There is no point in mulling all this over and allowing it to manifest in an ugly feeling inside you. It is from the point onwards that we can alter the situation and make sure you don’t feel like this anymore.”
The dancer looks up and places a hand over the one on his thigh, “You can change the future but you can’t change the past.”
“Exactly! You do listen to me.” Emery grins.
“Of course I do. The one thing that we must do is find out if there is any truth to anything that the group put forward Saturday night. If there is any truth to it then I can’t support them as a couple and my conversation with Tae won’t be a positive one.”
“That’s understandable. How about, once they are back, you and I go to the diner for lunch when we know that Jungkook is working? If we can find out when his break is we could ask him to join us or maybe go at the end of his shift and catch him on the way out?”
Hobi thought for a second, “I think a lunch shift would be better because Tae might meet him after work and that could get awkward.”
“Lunch it is. I can phone the diner and make some enquiries. If he’s genuine, which I really do believe he is, it would be a really good ice breaker. I want Jungkook to know that we are supportive of them, he deserves that chance… just like the chance I was given.”
“I’m due to meet Jin for lunch tomorrow and I’ve got a meeting with Yoon in the afternoon so I will have to tell them that Jungkook is with Tae. They need to understand that they might be wrong and whatever they do think, our friend is in love. I’m almost sure they will come around when they realise how serious Tae is about Jungkook, I don’t think he’d have asked him to accompany him to London otherwise.”
“From now on, we deal in facts, not accusations or rumour and we go to Tae and Jungkook for information. We can’t condone what Tae went through on Saturday, Seokie.”
“Agreed but for me to support my friend, I need to know he isn’t being taken for a ride.”
“That’s what we will find out… our way… together.”
Hobi isn’t sure what he did in a past life that was so great that he’s been rewarded with Emery in this life but whatever it was, he’s so very grateful.
***
“A very good afternoon to you Sir.” the doorman says as Jungkook passes through the door being held open for him.
“Good afternoon.” he replies before receiving the same greeting twice more by two other members of staff, one of whom offers to carry the rucksack he has on his back. He nearly laughs but the man looks so serious that instead he just politely declines and steps into the elevator. The mere thought of allowing someone to carry his rucksack makes him feel a bit nauseous and the worst thing is that he knows there are people out there that would have taken the man up on his offer.
When he reaches their suite, there is a fruit basket and bottles of sparkling and still water on one of the tables, he grabs an apple and goes through to the bedroom so he can decide what to wear. Taehyung had told him that there isn’t a dress code so he presumed that ‘smart casual’ was the way to go, he just needed to decide what that meant given his choices. He put his rucksack on the neatly made bed and sat down, munching on his apple and checking his phone for the time. It was just after five so he had plenty of time before his boyfriend returned so he could at least grab a shower too. He’d been walking around London non stop and felt a little bit grimy so having a shower would definitely freshen him up.
Apple juice dripped down his chin as he took a particularly large bite, he’d sent Ash a load of photo’s this morning but snapped a selfie of him eating the apple and sent him that one too even though he suspected that his friend would be asleep now. As well as the time difference, he found he was getting the days mixed up, it might be Friday now but if Ash was awake he would say it was Saturday and that just complicated everything. When he’d managed to call his best friend earlier in the day, before his shift at the diner, Jungkook had been walking along the Thames and fretting about what he was going to buy Taehyung. The laughter that sounded down the phone hadn’t been welcomed even if Jungkook wasn’t at all surprised by his friend’s response, even less surprised when he was called a dickhead. As annoying as he was, Ash did give good advice every once in a while and he told Jungkook to just do it, to get Tae what it was he wanted to because even if it was something he’d done before, he hadn’t done it with Jungkook so it would be different. That was where the sensible advice ended though because he also suggested that Jungkook needed to give Tae the blow job of his life for getting the match tickets which he thought was hilarious.
With the apple finished, Jungkook takes a shower, if he's honest with himself he much preferred the shower he took with his boyfriend. It’s a relatively quick shower because he doesn’t have any distractions aside from the images in his head and he’s soon back in the bedroom, towel drying himself as he looks at the clothes he brought with him. It’s still quite warm out so he doesn’t think he will need a jacket and with limited options he goes for his short sleeved black button down shirt which he tucks neatly into his black trousers, keeping the top three buttons undone for that relaxed look. He combs through his hair and wishes Marie was here as she was always great at deciding whether the occasion was a ‘tie it back’ or ‘leave it loose’ affair. After much deliberation and thinking about his boyfriend’s reactions, he decides to tie it back but run a bit of wax through the wavy bangs that refuse to be held back and much prefer to hang around his face. He hasn't long finished when Tae calls out that he's back, the warmth that spreads through Jungkook is instantaneous as it had been when his boyfriend had phoned him briefly several hours ago.
"Wow." Tae says when he walks into the bedroom and sees Jungkook.
The busker smiles sweetly, the familiar blush dusting his cheeks as Tae stands in front of him and leans in to kiss his cheek, "Thanks."
"I did say there isn't a dress code but if it was 'sexy as hell' you've achieved it." Tae tries not to smile too much at his red faced boyfriend whose hands feel warm on the dip in his back.
“Tae…. really?”
“Yes, really. Apart from my friends, who call me a whole manner of things, no one really calls me Tae.” the thought seems to have made its way to his mouth and out into the air between them.
“What about your family or ex partners?” Jungkook is constantly surprised by the admissions that his boyfriend makes and is determined to try and give a bit more of himself too but it doesn’t ever seem to come out right.
“Can I have a kiss first? I happen to feel like someone in the Sahara who has just been shown a bottle of water.”
Jungkook rolls his eyes in a playful gesture, “Isn’t that a little dramatic?”
Tae considers it for a second, “No, it is the truth whether you perceive it to be dramatic or not.”
The busker kicks himself, the feelings inside him are more than he’s felt in a long time especially so soon, when it feels like he’s known Taehyung for 5 minutes and 5 years all at the same time. He moves a hand, stroking up the silk shirt to settle on his nape before pulling him in to give him the kiss he wants. Jungkook also felt a little desperate to feel their lips pressed together and their tongues skimming over each other, he just hid it a whole lot better than his boyfriend did. He can’t help but huff a small laugh when he pulls back and Tae tries to chase his lips, catching them briefly and forming what appeared to be a slight pout.
“To answer your question, my parents call me Taehyung and my sister calls me 'doodle' because aside from the fact that her maturity is questionable, I doodled on her notebook a few times when we were younger."
Jungkook laughs, "That's cute."
"If you say so, Kookie Monster." He says with a smug grin.
"I'm just trying to work out if being cheeky counts as misbehaving." One side of his mouth curls upwards as he sees reality dawn on Tae's face.
"If it means you leaving me alone again, then I would suggest that it doesn't count as misbehaving because that wouldn't be fair otherwise."
Jungkook tilts his head slightly, "How wouldn't it be fair?"
"Because now I am fully aware of the consequences so I can act accordingly but it isn't fair if I didn't know that my actions could count that way."
"So basically, you want a warning so you can be good for me?"
"Yes, I suppose so. Just now, we were enjoying some playful banter but if I'd have known it could've left me alone, then I may have taken a different approach."
"Tae, I wouldn't have left you alone. I was making a point this morning. If we both weren't in the zone, if the occasion wasn't right, I wouldn't do that. Just now, I wanted to see your reaction, that's all."
Taehyung still felt a little bratty about what happened this morning and as juvenile as he fully appreciates those feelings are, he can’t help it. Since meeting Jungkook, he has been overwhelmed with an array of different emotions and feelings and even though he wasn’t a stranger to emotion, he’d operated in quite a stoic manner to a certain extent. He deduced that it was probably because he hadn’t needed to operate any differently, he was content with his life, yet now he couldn’t imagine going back to a time before Jungkook was in it. During his break today, he’d looked back at the date he first met the busker, he hadn’t seen his face properly but he felt something even then, even if he hadn’t admitted it or registered the fact. The last two months have been a whirlwind and already they’ve hit some major obstacles but he really wants this trip to be a positive for them, he would like to return home stronger than when they left but he recognised that a lot of that was in Jungkook’s hands.
“I do find it quite a struggle if I’m being honest. Being left alone this morning brought out some feelings that are quite foreign to me and when it comes to sex, you now know how much I want to be praised. There are many conflicting emotions where you are concerned, Jungkook.”
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean for it to be a negative. I thought this morning that it was part of the game so to speak. I'm sorry, Tae."
"No, no, please don't apologise. I believe that I'm not being clear but that's because I'm not really used to having to verbalise all this. I got what I asked for this morning. I asked you what happens to naughty boys and you told me… it was just a little unexpected. This is the first time that my sex life has seeped into my every day life, it was always an hour or so within the bedroom and that was it. Outside of that, the bedroom personas didn't have enough relevance."
Jungkook understands but is surprised once more, "Would you rather we kept this in the bedroom? I'm more than happy to do that."
Tae moves in for a kiss, grazing over Jungkook’s mouth with his lips, "I'd rather you be you because it is a turn on and it does play to that side of me. It is unfamiliar territory at times, that is all."
Jungkook smiles, he's proud of himself for not being reduced to a blushing mess and has hope that perhaps the more they integrate sex into their relationship, naturally being themselves, that maybe he will feel less embarrassed all the time, "Okay." And he really wants to push Tae's buttons every once in a while, see how he reacts to certain situations because up until now, the shoes have been on the other foot mostly.
They are both lost in a sensual meeting of tongues when they are alerted to the car having arrived to take them to the restaurant and Jungkook had forgotten they were actually going out. He'd also forgotten that he didn't know where they were going and in that situation he always feared the worst. They walked down to the entrance, hand in hand, there was a tight knotting in his stomach, mainly anxiety because he has no idea where they are heading. He does have his wallet and he knows he has money but prefers to be prepared and at least have the opportunity to look up the menu online. Jungkook knows that the company will be reimbursed but he wonders how much? Is there an allowance? Are there certain restaurants they have to eat at? He feels uncomfortable not knowing and knows that he should just ask his boyfriend… but that could quite possibly open a can of worms… fear lingers… but he promised he would try… this is all so difficult.
The busker looks out of the window, which he has retracted so he can see out of the darkened pane, he’s used to busy streets but London feels like it’s busier than home. He loves the architecture of the buildings and the random statues that appear but have so much history. He’s in a little world of his own when Tae slides up close beside him and kisses his cheek, “What was that for?” he asks, turning to look at his boyfriend.
“Does there have to be a reason?” Tae responds, kissing him again on the cheek to make a point.
“No, of course not. Have you been to London before?”
“I have, several times. That is why I asked you to write a list because I want to make sure that you see everything that you would like to see.”
“Is there anything you haven’t seen or done, that you would like to do? It isn’t all about me.”
“That is where you are wrong… it is about you because that is how I prefer it.”
“And what about my preference or don’t I get a say?” his intention hadn’t been for it to sound the way it did, his past and the memories of control lace his words at times. On this occasion, even he can recognise that he was being stupid, the topic of conversation had absolutely nothing to do with control and yet his reaction reflects the need to explain himself more often.
Tae turns his body and takes hold of Jungkook’s hands, “You always have a say, Jungkook. Your opinions and everything you think, matters to me. I would like to believe that I have shown you that by now, I’ve never shied away or stopped you from expressing yourself.”
The busker sighs, a deep, heavy breath, “You have, even at times when I wouldn’t have listened to me…” he gives a small smile and knows he needs to give more, “... how long until we reach the restaurant?”
Tae looks out of the window and then he speaks to the driver who confirms they should arrive in a few minutes. He strokes Jungkook’s hands and leans in to press his lips to his cheek, “I hope you like where we will be eating.”
“Did you choose it? I mean, I wasn’t sure if there are certain places you eat or if the company that reimburses you has a budget or… I wasn’t changing the subject, I just didn’t want to start talking if we were going to be arriving soon, that’s all.”
“I didn’t think you were changing the subject, like I said, I am listening whenever you are ready… and yes, I chose the place we are eating at tonight. The company doesn't specify but if they don’t reimburse the full amount, it really doesn’t matter.”
“It does… it does matter.”
“Why?”
“Because I don’t want you paying for everything.”
“Why? I have the money so I really don’t see the problem.”
“It is a problem, that attitude is a problem. Is all so fucking easy for people like you to wave money at things because you can.”
Taehyung looks at Jungkook, he doesn’t like very much of what was just said but what he dislikes more than that is the look of distress on his boyfriend’s face, “I’m sorry if I said something to upset you, Jungkook, I hadn’t intended on doing that. I just don’t want you to worry about something like the price of a meal on this trip. I want this trip to be the dream vacation you wanted it to be.”
The car comes to a stop and Jungkook’s chest feels tight, his stomach weighed down with his past. He's exasperated and upset, he knows this is it, he knows that he has to give himself up to Tae or head home. “Can we talk when we are seated?”
Tae smiles, “If you want to talk, we will talk… I might be able to prevent myself from saying the wrong thing if you allow me to understand.”
Jungkook wishes the ground would open him up and swallow him, as well as being so very grateful for being where he is. He looks at his boyfriend and sees the innocence that is probably the only thing that kept him from turning his back on Taehyung at the start. He knows deep down that he isn’t like the people from his past, he now understands that if he explains more to Tae, then his reactions have a foundation and it will enable him to get where he’s coming from. He nods his head and they climb out of the car, taking Tae’s hand when it’s offered and frowning as the car pulls away and he looks around him, he can’t see a restaurant.
Tae starts walking and Jungkook walks with him, unsure of where they are going until he sees it and he can’t quite believe it, his stomach sinking in equal measure to the butterflies of excitement that consume the space that the nausea doesn’t occupy. The beaming smile that his boyfriend gives him as they enter the doors of The Shard, make his insides heat rapidly and he almost wants to cry because of the conflicting emotions within him. As each day passes he sees his internal battle more clearly, the walls he’s built up around him make it difficult for him to really be free and his boyfriend appears to have a sledge hammer that is crashing into his defences.
“I hope you don’t mind heights.” Tae says quietly as they enter the building and pass through all the security checks.
“I have no problem with heights.” the biggest problem he has is trying to accept that this man, this beautiful man is doing all this because he loves him. He’s had so much wrong done to him by people who claimed to love him in the past that it has taken time to start allowing people in again… Ash, Marie and Billy are testament of that.
They are shown to the elevator that speeds upwards and Jungkook is transfixed by the imagery inside the space, his waist held firmly by his boyfriend even though it doesn’t actually feel as if they are moving very much at all.
“I wanted to show you the view before we eat so we are going to the top first.” Tae informs Jungkook.
“That sounds great.” he says, every word seems to get stuck in his throat but he forces them out because no matter what, he really is grateful for the experience.
When they arrive at the top, they head for level 72 which has the open air viewing platform and Jungkook feels the breath knocked out of him. Taehyung can see the expression on his boyfriend’s face as he walks around looking at the view of London laid out before them, but he isn’t completely sure whether he understands what the look on his face means. He hopes the glassiness of his eyes is a positive thing but can’t be sure so squeezes his hand lightly. Taehyung feels reassured after they spend time walking around and Jungkook turns and smiles at him as they re-enter the building.
“Would you like to go to the restaurant now? That has 360 degree views too.”
Jungkook’s eyes open wide, “O-okay.”
They go back to the elevator, down to level 31 where they are seated at a table right next to the windows of the Aqua Shard restaurant. The windows are floor to ceiling and the skyline is something Jungkook wants to remember forever. This feels very much like a scene from a romantic movie and as he looks at Taehyung, guilt sits heavily in his core. He isn't being fair to this man who has given him more respect and honesty than he deserves at times.
"I booked us the four course set menu, I thought that would add to the experience because it is called The Forgotten British Menu, is that okay?"
"It sounds really good, thank you." yet again the thought behind the gesture is evident and Jungkook has to give a little of himself.
"We can go back to the top if you would like to afterwards or we can have drinks here. The car will pick us up when we are ready."
A server brings over some drinks, speciality cocktails that Tae chose and puts them down on the table. Jungkook takes a sip and fills his lungs with a deep breath, holding it for a second before making a start… knows it needs to be now after the conversation in the car.
"I owe you an explanation for my outburst in the car…"
Tae interrupts, "If you aren't ready, it can wait."
"... I… I'm not ready to tell you everything but I can start with what happened earlier because there were a couple of times and… and I owe you an explanation."
Tae shifts slightly in his seat to get comfortable because he doesn't want to be moving around while Jungkook is talking. He's suddenly very conscious of his posture, placing a hand on his own thigh, nervous about what he could hear. He suspects that is the reason for his patience, the fear that he may hear something that shakes the foundation of what they have or even worse, hearing something that tears them apart. "Okay."
Jungkook takes another quick sip of his drink, he hasn't told anyone about his past since he met Billy and Marie so it isn't an easy task. Ash, to a certain extent lived through it with him and was by his side when the diner owners made an effort to gain his trust, but now, he was very alone.
"I don't know where to start… Okay… erm… so… earlier when I said 'people like you', I meant rich guys… it all links to your friends thinking I'm not who I say I am too… I told you that I have a different name to my family and that's true. My Mother remarried and took my step Father's name, which is probably why I'm not connected to them…. my step Father was loaded, like seriously wealthy, he practically owns the area we were from and everyone in it. My Mother was swept away, we all were, my two brothers included. Ryan... he... he gave us the world, everything we wanted, he didn't have sons of his own so told us that the three of us would inherit his empire one day and he wanted to treat us as his own. We were treated like princes, I suppose and then we moved into his huge house and we each had our own room for the first time, we shared a bedroom as we were growing up. We weren't poor by any means but the house we grew up in was quite small. Our rooms at the new house weren't just a bedroom, they had an ensuite, small living area and walk in closets. We'd never seen anything like it and our Mother was so happy…."
Taehyung sat back while the first course was put in front of them, thanking the server quietly, his eyes never leaving Jungkook. When she had gone, the couple started eating the roasted mushrooms on toasted brioche, cutting small pieces off with their knife and fork, "Would you like to eat first, before continuing?" Tae asks his boyfriend, not wanting to rush him or pressure him.
Jungkook smiles a little. It's the type of smile that says he isn't sure but wants to reassure Tae that he's okay to continue. So he starts by mentioning the food before divulging more about his past, "This is really good… so tasty… I'd like to continue, if you don't mind?"
"Jungkook, I would like you to do whatever makes you comfortable and yes, this is very tasty."
"Okay… so, we were living the good life, fancy meals out and luxury hotels. We had housekeepers and were taken to and from school. My eldest brother got a Mercedes for his birthday, his first car and we were taken shopping whenever we wanted. My eldest brother was given a job at my step father's company and my middle brother was sent to business school and spent six months in the US. I had ambitions to become a dancer and didn't have any interest in business or whatever they were doing. In high school I was told I would benefit from work experience which they linked to the technology vocational courses. I complained and Ryan was so caring, agreed that it was a waste of time because I wanted to dance so we devised a plan. He said he would speak to the school and arrange for the work experience to be done with him and that he would get me extra dance lessons which I could do when I should have been doing work experience, he said we would just keep it from the school. At the time I was bowled over, I thought I was special, I had a great step father who was helping me realise my dream but then little things started making me think that things weren't right… our clothes were always chosen for us, I felt like I couldn't breathe because there was always one of his staff around. I started spending less and less time with my friends and they fell away so my only company was my family… I tried speaking to my Mother but she said I should be grateful for everything we have and how much Ryan loves us… then the next thing, I would be taken out for the day or treated to some obscenely priced gift, for no reason or because Ryan had been given a good report from the teachers at school. Now I can see it all so clearly but back then, when I was living it, I couldn't see it, I was too caught up in it… the dream life and everyone was so happy…"
The server came back and removed their empty plates, Taehyung politely declining her offer of more drinks, "Were your mother and Ryan married at this time?"
"... no. The wedding plans were crazy after a very dramatic proposal. My mother was gushing and she couldn't wait to marry him. My brothers thought it would further secure our futures and they were more than happy with it all. With the wedding plans in full swing, everyone was distracted further, money was no object so my mother could have anything she wanted. We were dragged around shops and fitted for suits, we chose the venue and flowers, food and transport, we even chose the honeymoon because Ryan wanted us all to go as a family. It was all booked and we had our passports, ready to go…"
Taehyung reached his hand across the table and placed it over Jungkook’s, "London?"
The busker nods in agreement and looks down briefly, "...yeah, London was part of it, I was so excited. The day of the wedding came, I saw the smile on my mother's face and pushed aside any doubts I had. The word 'happy' doesn't even explain how everyone was looking and acting… then during the speeches after the wedding meal, Ryan stands up and… he calls us his sons, calls us by his surname. I looked at my brothers and they just sat there grinning, I thought back to all the times I'd walked into a room and they'd stopped talking or when I walked past Ryan's office and one of my brothers was in there. I always just thought it was business. If the name wasn't bad enough, I was congratulated on my scholarship at the best business school in the country… I hadn't even applied for it. Ryan helped me with my applications to universities for theatre and dance… I don't know what he did with them… I was shell shocked and very alone."
Tae didn't move his hand from Jungkook’s when the second course arrived, his brain cells were firing as he applied what he was learning about his boyfriend to all the situations that had caused them problems so far. He now understood the comments made earlier and his brain can't comprehend the magnitude of it all right now. He has so many questions but he doesn't want to pressurise his boyfriend into answering more than he wants to give. "Is that why your studies were delayed?"
Jungkook feels ashamed that he didn't see the control, "Yeah. But I didn't leave straight away... the honeymoon wasn't for a few months so I was talked into giving it a chance. I was told that Ryan loved us so much that he'd got carried away and my Mother apologised for upsetting me. She assured me that I could keep my name and she sat with me and cried. She said she wanted the best for me and my brothers and that I should talk to them because they had been working closely with Ryan so would have known if his intentions were bad. Seeing my Mother so upset after her wedding day was hard and I gave it a chance for her but nothing changed... in fact, things got worse and I made secret plans to leave. After I left, I had to save for university fees and stuff but I'm nearly there now, I'm so close to graduating."
"I think you are incredible. You have an array of amazing qualities, Jungkook." He wants to know more but he's pleased that his boyfriend has shared what he has tonight.
Jungkook’s face heats, he sees only good things in Tae’s expression, reinforced by the way he holds his hand. One of his biggest fears was that the CEO would pity him or take his step father's side, maybe even think that Jungkook was ungrateful. Yet he doesn't get the slightest hint of that at all, "Thank you… I will tell you more one day soon… Ash has been on at me to tell you, he says it shouldn't be some big secret but it's so difficult to revisit what I've spent ages moving away from... things just got... they got so bad and in the time between the wedding and the honeymoon... when I had no choice but to go... " His throat constricted, he wasn't ready to admit the rest, he wasn't ready to tell his boyfriend what a worthless human being he was. This was a start, he hopes it helps somewhat to explain why he reacts the way he does and why he's so staunch on being independent. He hopes it helps Taehyung understand why he doesn't want his money and why he acts like an idiot sometimes.
Tae strokes his boyfriend's hand and his heart clenches when he sees the look in his eyes. "It's okay, Jungkook... It means so much to me that you've told me what you have. I maintain that there won't be any pressure applied from me."
Jungkook acknowledges Tae’s words and smiles at him as they both eat their second course. Talk turns to the more light hearted topic of the view and Tae loves how Jungkook’s eyes light up as he speaks. When the third course arrives, Tae asks his boyfriend what he'd got up to while wandering around London earlier in the day and Jungkook excitedly gets out his phone to show him pictures as he speaks.
"I walked past the Tate modern and then into Trafalgar Square, those lions are huge! It was quite warm and people had their feet in the fountain. I then walked near Parliament for a bit and I was sitting on the steps near big Ben when you phoned me."
"Is that where you saw the street artist?" Tae asks, taking a forkful of red mullet into his mouth and humming in satisfaction.
"Mmmhm. She was amazing, see?" Jungkook shows his boyfriend some pictures on his phone.
"Wow, she is talented. Where did you go after that?"
"I walked across Westminster Bridge and looked at both sides of the Thames then carried on walking alongside the river… and… I… got you something." He doesn't really know what causes his cheeks to flare, but they do and he suddenly feels quite shy.
"You did?" This was unexpected.
"I did…" he shows Tae a picture of the London Eye, "... if you don't want to do it, we don't have to go."
"You got us tickets for the London Eye?"
"Yeah, on Sunday afternoon. I thought it would be nice after you working and before the business meal."
Tae stretches his other hand across the table, palm up, wiggling his fingers and smiling when Jungkook places his hand in his grasp, "I can't wait. Thank you so very much, Jungkook. Once I'm finished with work Sunday morning, let's make the most of the day and go souvenir shopping too?"
"Okay. I'd like that."
They sat and stared at each other for a while, fingers moving gently, finishing their courses one handed, reluctantly letting go of one, before the final dish arrived. Jungkook feels lighter to a certain extent, it doesn't feel like much but he does feel as if he's given Tae a big chunk of himself this evening. The most important thing is that he is trying and he's made steps in the right direction, he hopes his boyfriend can see that. He hopes that his ever growing feelings for the CEO are evident in his actions and he understands that in order to accept the future, he also needs to acknowledge his past. It's eaten away at him for too long, he thought he was doing the right thing when he walked away from his old life and he was, that was still the right decision but now he needs to accept it and discard it once more in order to move forwards with Tae. It was difficult to talk about Ryan and his family but that was the easiest part of the story, that was the part that makes him feel like an idiot who was gullible. The challenge will be to verbalise the rest, to drag up the events that were the final straw... the events that make him feel like he is the most worthless entity, undeserving of love and care... one act in particular that has haunted him since because he can't ever escape it. His past has been the anchor and now he needs to be free to sail off into the sunset with his boyfriend, it won't happen overnight but he's made a start.