Chapter Text
The day starts like normal.
It’s hectic in the morning with all of the kids getting ready for the school day. Jimin is in the bathroom brushing his teeth with Taehyung next to him putting on makeup. Hoseok is stuffing his uniform into his duffel bag, Jin is making breakfast for everyone, and Namjoon is helping Jungkook fit all of his supplies into his backpack. Yoongi, of course, is already finished getting ready with minimal effort and is waiting for everyone else to finish up.
When breakfast is ready, Hoseok goes to sit down and realizes his throat is drier than usual. He chalks it up to being a little under the weather and pours himself a glass of water before joining everyone at the table.
The conversation is lively, with everyone talking about their plans for the day. Jimin and Taehyung discuss their plans with their friends, and Yoongi begrudgingly admits he’s going to hang out with Junho later that day, which earns a knowing glance from Namjoon to Jin that doesn’t go unnoticed by Hoseok.
Hoseok contributes to the conversation, adding that he’s planning on staying a little later than usual for practice today. When asked why, he states that he’s falling a little behind in learning the new routine.
It can be difficult being one of the only members of the cheerleading squad without prior experience cheering. Hoseok has a fluidity to his movements which, when combined with his incredible body control, usually makes up for his lack of experience. However, the captains of the squad have been letting Hoseok know that he’s not up to his usual standard and encouraging him to work harder to learn the new routine.
“Are you sure you’re not pushing yourself too hard?” Yoongi asks cautiously, the only one to speak up about his concern.
Pushing himself too hard? He can’t keep up as is! He needs to work even harder. “Yoongi, respectfully, you think eating breakfast is pushing yourself too hard,” Hoseok quips jokingly, which earns a chuckle from everyone but Yoongi, who decides to drop the subject.
“Anyway, have fun at school today, you guys,” Namjoon says, cleaning up after everyone finishes their meal. “Hobi, you might want to take a cough drop before you go. Your voice sounds a little rough.”
Hoseok doesn’t complain, knowing better than to argue when his doctor father is attempting to give him medicine. He takes the cough drop and heads out the door with everyone else. “See you!” he says to his dads.
Everything is going fine until practice starts. Hoseok is starting to feel more sluggish than usual, which isn’t a good sign considering how he’s usually bursting with energy. He can’t even keep up with the routines he already knows, and the coach notices.
“Hoseok!” the coach shouts, stopping the routine. His teammates listen in to see what the coach is so riled up about. “This is your last warning. If I see another sloppy kick, we’re going to have a serious talk about your position on this team.”
That causes Hoseok’s heart to drop to his stomach. He gulps, not knowing what to do other than nod. “Yes, coach,” he says obediently, his voice hoarse and shaky. He clears his throat, wishing he had another cough drop right about now.
He picks up the pace. He’s actually keeping up with the team, but his chest starts to feel tight. It’s probably this cold he’s coming down with, he reasons, and coughs into his elbow.
Next comes the most difficult part of the routine. Hoseok has to do a round-off with two other members of the squad and if he’s slightly off-beat, it shows. He braces himself, holds his breath, and makes the jump.
Hoseok wakes up with a start what feels like seconds later, and his entire body feels like it’s just been hit by a truck. Something inside his mouth hurts, there’s something wet on his face and body, and his muscles are screaming in pain. There’s something soft behind his head.
“Hoseok, can you hear me?” the coach asks, standing over him. That’s when Hoseok realizes he’s on the ground. When did that happen? Wasn’t he just going to do a round-off? He tries to turn his neck to look to the side, but his head feels too fuzzy to even move. He can still move his hands, he realizes, and goes to wipe at his mouth where the wetness is coming from and pulls away to reveal the unmistakable redness of blood on his fingers.
That’s when his heart starts racing. His chest feels tight, like he can’t quite get a breath in. “Hoseok, I need to know if you can hear me,” the coach says, imploring Hoseok again to respond to her.
Hoseok doesn’t quite respond verbally, though he does make a humming sound in the back of his throat that sounds more like a moan. “Good,” the coach says. “Hoseok, you had a seizure. We’ve already called an ambulance and your parents are on the way.”
A…seizure? That doesn’t sound right. This feels so much worse than a seizure is supposed to feel…right? He wipes off the blood on his finger onto his pants, realizing that there’s another spot of wetness, this time coming from underneath him. Hoseok feels mortified. That’s not what he thinks it is, is it?
“You’re going to be alright,” the coach says, trying to calm him down. He must be hyperventilating at this point. It’s all so humiliating. Having a seizure in front of his entire team is already so embarrassing, but passing out? Biting his tongue? …Soiling himself? Hoseok just wants to curl up into a ball and die.
“Oh my god, Hobi!” a familiar voice exclaims from nearby. He can tell it’s Jin, and he feels even worse somehow. Knowing that his father is going to see him like this makes him want to cry. The tears falling down his cheeks mix with the blood on his lip.
“Hobi, sweetie, it’s going to be okay,” Jin says frantically, cupping his head between his hands. He can see the frenzied look in his father’s eyes and Hoseok makes a small whining sound in the back of his throat. “Your coach says you’ve had a seizure. We’re taking you to the hospital, okay?”
Tears start to pool in the corners of Hoseok’s eyes. He hates seeing his father like this. It’s all his fault. It’s all so humiliating.
Hoseok can’t help but burst into tears when Jin hugs him. Everyone watched him completely fall apart. All he wanted to do was prove that he could do it, that he could do whatever all the other kids could do. Now, he’s being rushed to the hospital. It’s probably his heart, he realizes.
His eyes feel heavy. He can barely make out what Jin is saying before he fades into unconsciousness once more. “Hobi, it’s going to be okay…”
When Hoseok wakes up again, he’s in the hospital and there’s an IV in his arm. “You’re awake!” a small voice says. It’s Jungkook, he realizes, as the boy reaches over the side of the hospital bed to hug him. Hoseok instinctively wraps his arms around his younger brother, still a bit dazed and confused.
“I’ll go get the nurse,” he hears Jin say. As his father leaves the room, Hoseok notices him wiping at his face. His voice was shaky, too, come to think of it. Had he been crying this whole time? Because of Hoseok?
“Hobi, how are you feeling?” Namjoon’s measured voice asks, and Hoseok turns to look at his other dad. He looks vaguely worried, but his face is calculated so as to not let the depth of his worry show.
Hoseok feels around. His muscles are still sore and his tongue hurts, but that’s about it. He doesn’t feel the same lethargy he did when he got up this morning. “I think I’m okay,” he says, still a little unsure.
It’s only Namjoon and Jungkook in the room. Hoseok guesses it’s because the entire family wouldn’t be allowed to visit at the same time. The others are probably in the waiting room with Yoongi.
“You really scared us there,” Namjoon says, his eyes a bit puffy. He must have been crying, too. “But you’re going to be alright. They said you went into syncope and bit your tongue when you passed out, but that’s the worst of it. They’ll still need to monitor you for a few days to make sure there’s nothing going on with your heart.” Namjoon places a gentle hand on Hoseok’s chest, right over his heart.
His father attempts to give him a reassuring smile, but that only makes him feel more guilty. “Dad…I’m sorry,” Hoseok says, feeling his eyes start to brim with tears again. How did this seemingly-normal day turn into such an awful experience? “I should have listened to you guys about not pushing myself too hard. I was too stubborn. I’m really sorry.”
Namjoon frowns and Jungkook looks like he wants the floor to swallow him up. Why can’t he do anything right? Even now, when he’s admitting defeat, he feels like he’s doing something wrong. “I’m sorry,” Hoseok says, his hiccuping breaths devolving into sobs. “I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry,” a small voice says, momentarily snapping Hoseok out of his self-deprecating thoughts. It’s Jungkook, looking up at him with those big curious eyes. He looks so innocent, even now when he’s gone through so much. Having to be adopted as an infant, growing up with two dads in a world of stigmatization, his brothers having issues of their own and having to bear witness to it all. There’s so much he still doesn’t understand, but he’s had to learn so much at such a young age.
“You just wanted to have fun,” Jungkook says, mumbling as he looks down. He looks embarrassed. Maybe Hoseok is looking at him too intently. “You don’t have to be sorry.”
Hoseok feels somewhere between bursting into tears again and giving Jungkook the biggest hug ever. His brain isn’t really good at figuring things out right now, so he does both.
“All right, let’s give Hobi some space, everyone,” Namjoon says. “He’s had a really long day and I’m sure this is all a little overwhelming for him. Jungkook—…” he looks over to the boy who’s currently being squeezed into a tight hug by Hoseok who looks to be holding on to the boy for dear life. “…I’ll come back and get you in ten minutes.”
Jin and Namjoon guide the rest of the boys out of the room and leave Hoseok and Jungkook alone.
“You know I’ll be okay,” Hoseok says, eyes still watery after crying so much. His chest still feels a bit sore from all of the exertion and he winces. Jungkook looks at him with a certain sadness in his eyes that he can’t quite place. “You guys make me so happy. Maybe that’s why my heart doesn’t work right, it’s overwhelmed with all the love you give me!” Hoseok jokes, hoping to see a smile creep on to the boy’s face.
Instead, Jungkook just looks down at the ground.