confusinglee



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    “Fuck, look at you,” Ilya breathes. “Ask me for it again.”

    “Hit me,” Shane says instantly, not a moment of hesitation.

    “Is your face not sore? You still want more?”

    “It’s sore,” Shane answers. “Please. I want more.”

    “Fuck,” Ilya hisses, and he extends his arm out, muscular and powerful, and he brings it down hard, harder than any of the previous smacks. This one makes Shane’s head reel, his entire upper half jolting in response to it. Ilya watches in concern and fascination, gauging his reaction.

    ---

    Ilya's playful slap during the Hayden phone call scene awakens something in Shane.

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    12 Feb 2026

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    “Holy shit, dude,” Hayden whispers, too loudly, as he pulls Shane away. “No way you were just talking to Ilya Rozanov.”

    “Uh, yeah. We just met. Wait, did he lie to me?” Shane asks, looking back over his shoulder where Ilya is now standing next to a short but very muscular woman with long black hair. “What does he play?”

    Hayden stops, so Shane does too.

    “You don’t know who that was?” 

    Shane makes a face that says ‘no shit’, and waits for an answer. 

    “Dude. You are so innocent. Ilya Rozanov, ‘Russia’s Greatest Love Machine’?” Hayden says, like it’s obvious. 

    Shane looks at him blankly, and then Hayden laughs. Not like, a chuckle. He full on cackles, bending over like he can’t even contain it. “Man, he’s like prolific.”

    “At what?” Shane snaps, because he’s getting really sick of not being in on the joke. 

    “He’s a porn star, man.” 

    “A-” Shane says, swallowing thickly. “What?” 

    ---

    Ilya is a porn star, Shane is a hockey player, and their paths cross.

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    12 Feb 2026

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    Barstool Sports Canada reports that Montreal Metros captain Shane Hollander has started learning Russian from new teammate and Russian rookie Sergei Dovonchezky.

    Ilya has some thoughts. None of them are particularly kind.

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    06 Feb 2026

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    Troy’s grin turned sharp and mischievous. “Alright then,” he spoke up. “New bet.”

    “No.” Ilya groaned. “Why is everything always a bet?”

    “Because you hate losing,” Wyatt answered as if it was obvious.

    Troy clapped his hands together. “Okay, so,” he started, his eyes gleaming. “Rozanov has to get Shane Hollander to fall in love with him.”

    Ilya stared at him, his brain’s processing lagging half a second behind. “You think you are jokester, yes? You are joking.”

    or, in which hockey captain Ilya Rozanov drunkenly agrees to a bet to make the nerdy Shane Hollander fall in love with him

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    29 Jan 2026