slow and steady
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Dr. Robby nods slowly, eyes flicking down to the butt of Dennis's cigarette. "Thanks, Whitaker. I like that idea, actually." He plucks the stub from Dennis's fingers and reaches behind him to deposit it into the metal ashtray attached to the building. He always tosses Dennis's smoked cigarettes for him, even though Dennis has never asked him to. Their fingertips brush together as he takes the cigarette and Dennis bites back a shiver.
"You're welcome," Dennis responds. Still riding the high of that split second of finger-on-finger contact, he says, "And, uh... You can call me Dennis?" He's so nervous that he poses the statement as a question. "If you ever wanted to. We aren't technically inside the hospital, so. Technically not working. Out here I'm just Dennis."
There's a new look on Dr. Robby's face that Dennis still can't figure out. "Right. Dennis." A few seconds of silence. "Then you could call me Michael."
Dennis doesn't know why Dr. Robby is okay with him calling him by his first name. Or why Dr. Robby—Michael—is so adamant on giving him a ride home from work. Or why in the world Michael just texted him good night.
Series
- Part 1 of slow and steady
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He clicks "New Message" without really thinking about it, then types den into the "To:" field. [email protected] is the third result down, right between Denise Marigold and Denver Martin.
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Subject: ThanksJust wanted to say thanks again. You're a tech genius.
Are you sure you can't mute Gloria for me?Dr. Michael Robinavitch
Chief Attending Physician, Emergency MedicineHe hits send before he can overthink it.
It's Halloween. For Robby, this is just another day at work. He might be emailing and flirting with and staring at Dennis this year, but that... that's nothing.
Dennis drunk texting him, asking him for a ride home? That might not be nothing.
Robby's fucked.
Series
- Part 2 of slow and steady
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2:58 p.m.
Michael:
Good, I'm glad.
You don't look nearly as hungover as you should.Dennis flushes, biting his lip to stop himself from grinning at his phone like a maniac. What does he mean by that? That's a compliment, right? Dennis can't see how it isn't.
He wonders if Michael is going to save that photo to his phone. No, no, no. Dennis puts an immediate end to that ridiculous train of thought. Why would Michael save a poorly-taken selfie from his hungover med student? What in the world would he do with that?
2:59 p.m.
Dennis:
the camera must be glitching then
trust me, it's badDennis knows, of course, that Michael doesn't think of him... well, romantically. So if he lightly flirts with Michael sometimes, that's just for Dennis's own enjoyment. And torture.
Dennis and Michael continue to text each other more and more as interview season for residency programs rapidly approaches.
Series
- Part 3 of slow and steady
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"You aren't misreading things," Robby says quickly. He's fucking this up, royally. "We're friendly with each other."
Dennis cracks a grin. "'Friendly with each other.' Let me guess, you're one of those old men who's allergic to admitting that they have friends?"
"Fuck off!" he gasps through a startled laugh. Dennis is already giggling. "This old man has plenty of friends, thanks." A lie, but Dennis couldn't possibly know that.
"I'm sure you do," Dennis says. "And, you know, thanks. For including me in that category." He smiles.
"Right," Robby says. His chest kind of hurts. He's pretty sure this is what the kids call 'being friendzoned.' "I mean, you're welcome?"
Dennis laughs again, and Robby decides that maybe he can live with being friends if it means he gets to keep making Dennis smile like that.
Robby wants to be a good mentor to Dennis. Maybe even a good friend to him, if that's what Dennis wants (which, apparently, he does). It's just kind of difficult when Robby is drawn to Dennis like a moth to a flame.
And who the fuck is Cole?
Series
- Part 4 of slow and steady
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"Alright, message received," Jack says. His grin is sharklike. "Dennis is all yours, Robby."
Dennis's blush intensifies, and Robby's hand falls from his back to scratch his own beard instead. His cheeks look a little red, too, now that Dennis looks closely. Maybe he didn't take Jack's comment as the joke that it clearly was. He's uncomfortable, Dennis realizes. He's uncomfortable with someone joking about me being his.
"I'll leave you guys to it," Dennis blurts out.
"Oh," Robby starts, but Dennis is already walking away, pissed at Jack for making such a dumb joke and pissed at himself for not laughing at it.
Professionally, Dennis's life is going great. He nails his residency interview at PTMC and—with Robby's help, of course—is on track to getting a fellowship position in Emergency Pediatrics someday.
Romantically, not so good. He's still harboring a crush on his boss, who's just trying to be a good mentor by doing things like buying him snacks, chauffeuring him to and from work, taking him out to dinner... just normal mentor things.
Series
- Part 5 of slow and steady
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Dennis, wearing Robby's clothes around Robby's house; moving in, taking over half of the closet, half of the dresser, half of whatever he wanted, maybe more than half if that's what he asked for; gifting Robby a kiss every morning and every night that Robby doesn't deserve but would cherish with everything in him. Robby wouldn't take a second for granted. He wouldn't repeat the same mistakes that he's made time and time again in past relationships.
Fantasies are dangerous. They hurt afterward, when he manages to banish them from the forefront of his mind and replace them with what will actually happen: Dennis graduates from medical school, excels as a resident, moves on to bigger and better roles at bigger and better hospitals, falls in love with someone with zero emotional baggage, lives happily ever after.
Without Robby.
Robby isn't doing well mentally, but when is he ever?
Now, even the small moments of joy that he finds when he's with Dennis are starting to sour as Dennis insists on giving Robby an array of Hanukkah gifts. What the hell is he thinking, trying to make Robby happy like this?
Series
- Part 6 of slow and steady
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He's confused when Robby leads him all the way to the locker room, he's confused when Robby walks straight past his locker—then Dennis's locker—then all the way back to the spare bank of lockers that no one but the travel nurses use, and he's confused when Robby opens one of them to pull out a huge box, gift-wrapped in shiny blue paper.
Robby holds out the box. "Merry Christmas, Dennis," he says quietly.
It's Dennis's third Christmas alone, except he doesn't feel so alone anymore. He doesn't have his family, but he has Trinity.
He might also have Robby. He still can't figure that one out.
EXCERPT FROM NEW BONUS CHAPTER:
"Has Dr. Robby," she starts, "ever made you do something that you don't want to do?"
Dennis's eyes bug out. "What?"
"Has he ever... offered you something in exchange for something else?" she goes on. "Asked you for a hug, maybe? Or something... more serious than a hug?"
"Trinity." Dennis yanks his hands out of her grip. "Jesus, no. You think that Robby is, what, molesting me or something?"
"Well, is he?"
Series
- Part 7 of slow and steady