for barthtanrak
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Summary
who is god anyway?
maybe god isn't up in the skies or beyond the seven seas or above the mountains or a mysterious enigma.
to barth, perhaps, god has always been a seminarian with big, curious eyes. maybe god has always been tanrak and tanrak alone.
Series
- Part 1 of for barthtanrak
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where do we go from here? by athousandbyeol
Fandoms: เด็กชายไม่ไปสวรรค์ | Ticket to Heaven (TV)
10 Jul 2025
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"i’m scared."
"i'm here. you don't have to be scared."
tanrak is tired of lying; to the mirror, to the collar around his neck, to the boy who makes him feel like maybe love was never wrong to begin with. but where do they ever go from here when they were always nowhere to begin with?
Series
- Part 2 of for barthtanrak
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red isn't what i see; blue is what i feel by athousandbyeol
Fandoms: เด็กชายไม่ไปสวรรค์ | Ticket to Heaven (TV)
02 Apr 2026
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Summary
it's the kind of love that doesn't need salvation. all it needs is a lot of patience.
and these two souls are gravely lonesome, but together, they finally found their calm.
or underwater, tanrak understands what it means to let go, and barth swears he won't stop loving.
Series
- Part 3 of for barthtanrak
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"but do you believe in that? that fate brought us together? and we met as god intended?"
"i do. i do believe in everything god planned for me. you. us."
or, as childhood memories of celebrating songkran reappear, barth suffers from the numbing pain of yearning for something that doesn't belong to him anymore.
and it's always a wonder, when he's beneath the cold shower, with another body against his, that tanrak would be forever—if he ever stills in this wander.
Series
- Part 4 of for barthtanrak
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come sins all over my chest; what am i, a mess? by athousandbyeol
Fandoms: เด็กชายไม่ไปสวรรค์ | Ticket to Heaven (TV)
23 May 2026
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"you look like you want me to do those things to you," barth says instead, the smirk never leaves, and tanrak wonders—if his lips on barth's could ever do magic, and make it disappear.
but how can tanrak ever say the truth—when he has been actively hiding from it?
"do you want me to?"
tanrak doesn't respond.
he can't.
or, tanrak desires barth in the secrets swarming in the chest, and further south, as blasphemous, as the strain in the pants.
Series
- Part 5 of for barthtanrak
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never blame god for your thoughts by athousandbyeol
Fandoms: เด็กชายไม่ไปสวรรค์ | Ticket to Heaven (TV)
01 Jun 2026
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Summary
"where are you when i need you the most?"
if god truly is ever-knowing, then why doesn't he know barth's suffering?
if jesus is ever-loving, then why can't barth feel his warmth and presence when he's gravely in need?
"answer me! fucking answer me!"
he faces god.
but god isn't what he believes.
or, barth's a lost star child, and tanrak finds him all bruised and used, and wishes upon him, the happiness he no longer believes in; the first to ever do.
Series
- Part 6 of for barthtanrak
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overlook me; you're all-knowing by athousandbyeol
Fandoms: เด็กชายไม่ไปสวรรค์ | Ticket to Heaven (TV)
07 Jun 2026
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Summary
all day long, he craves for more, but the righteous give without sparing.
tanrak looks up, to the god, somewhere here, always near, one last time, before he plummets into barth, lips first—as he pleads, forgive me.
and just like intended, barth kisses him too—revolting soot on the tongue becomes dear-drizzle honey, trickling from the corners of the mouth, as the motions intensify, when hands entangle the hair at the back of barth's head, and arms grounding tanrak from floating away, in this ephemeral fairytale, better than those restless fantasies.
or, tanrak battles with the losing faith, the push and pull of succumbing and relenting, only to regain that sacred belief, when barth meets him in the middle.
Series
- Part 7 of for barthtanrak
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love, it's safe here, with me by athousandbyeol
Fandoms: เด็กชายไม่ไปสวรรค์ | Ticket to Heaven (TV)
16 Jun 2026
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Summary
"lust is one of the deadliest sins, but why does it feel so right, to like you?"
oh.
"why does it feel like you're saving me from drowning?"
shia.
"why is it easier to breathe when you're with me?"
good fucking god.
or, barth is now a believer, again, only because tanrak is his only religion.
Series
- Part 8 of for barthtanrak
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between you and me and all the love in this little world of ours (how to make it last?) by athousandbyeol
Fandoms: เด็กชายไม่ไปสวรรค์ | Ticket to Heaven (TV)
22 Jun 2026
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Summary
"that doubt of choosing me, the look in your eyes when you're staring at me, you seem so fearful for someone so in love," it hits where it hits—straight to the heart, ruthlessly.
the hopeless are you? doesn't go unnoticed.
tanrak wished he hadn't heard it.
barth swallows the fire, and tanrak prays it'll be water instead—but is it too late?
"i don't know where i stand, where i should be, now that i realised, that i can't be more than just a second option, a back-up plan, another what-if in god's plan—in yours."
or, tanrak doesn't know how to make this last, even when he swears, he'll love barth forever.
Series
- Part 9 of for barthtanrak
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kiss me on the mouth and everywhere you want by athousandbyeol
Fandoms: เด็กชายไม่ไปสวรรค์ | Ticket to Heaven (TV)
03 Jul 2026
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Summary
you're so good to me.
or, a what-if, where barth and tanrak weren't interrupted that night in the storage room.
Series
- Part 10 of for barthtanrak
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blue hue overdue (you'll never know it's always true) by athousandbyeol
Fandoms: เด็กชายไม่ไปสวรรค์ | Ticket to Heaven (TV)
24 Sep 2026
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Summary
for all the mistakes you never made, even if the heavens fall or the hells rise, i still want you instead.
Series
- Part 11 of for barthtanrak