Chapter Text
Luckily for Techno, as it turns out, being kidnapped by a blonde child does not have nearly the downsides of being kidnapped by an adult. For example, he's not being asked to bestow magic, or to start a war, or to really do more than steal a speedboat to go deeper in the city. Now, Techno also doesn't know why he has to be the one to steal a speedboat, or really why he has to do any of this, and the kid isn't forthcoming, but hey. Maybe he gets lucky, steals the boat, and the kid forgets that a binding rope is supposed to trap a god into providing magics, not just like, make them an accomplice to a minor crime.
On the other hand, now that he's got his bearings after being kidnapped by said small child, he has questions. Such as:
"Why are you havin' me steal a boat?"
"Because yours sucks."
"Rude?"
Well, that didn't answer anything. Techno should have known better. Asking humans who'd use god bells and binding ropes to explain anything at all is just asking for trouble. Those are old magics, devised right on the precipice of war between gods and humans. Now, these days Techno doesn't think the conflict could have ever been avoided; he was the god of war, so he knows such things. Nah, humans were too certain they deserved power, and gods were too used to having it. If it hadn't been the bells and ropes, humans would have leveled the playing field someday. Besides, those bells had downsides for the humans who used them. There's only but so much you can ask of a god before they break free again. Techno doesn't really have any desire to hurt a kid, though, and—a boat.
"Let me rephrase: why are you havin' me steal a boat?" he asks.
"Because yours—wait, no, you're asking something else all tricky-like. Well, I can't exactly find a different god, now can I? Only could go and find the one Tubbo told me was there," the kid says.
Techno considers this for a moment before conceding the point. He is not aware of any other gods hanging out in the Floating City. He's not sure how many gods made the choices he did. Most of them stuck with the banishment, typically, and only showed up when called upon hard enough. It's not Techno's fault he eventually got a bit bored, and that Squid Kid didn't know these were times of peace, and that sometimes he thinks about buying an apartment and never returning to the empty farm he'd picked when he realized there wasn't a need for a war god anymore, not unless he wanted to be endorsing the kinds of people who do wars.
It's awfully inconvenient, realizing that the kinds of people who do wars also like to do governments. Puts a real damper in things.
"Now, will you just, I don't know, steal a boat? We've got places to go in the central city!"
"Isn't that place like, dangerous for someone your age?" Techno asks.
"Holy shit, why won't you just steal the boat," the kid says.
"I'm just sayin', I need to determine exactly what's going on with this deal! Besides, my boat has got my precious potatoes in it. Are you aware of just how much you're askin' me to abandon?"
"You know, these things are supposed to like—aren't you supposed to do what I say?"
Yeah, he is. Techno is, in fact, currently scoping out boats. That doesn't mean he can't have a lot of very good questions about what's going on. The biggest question is how the blond kid even knows how to use these magics. The second is how he knows Tubbo—wait. Techno thinks through the day's gossip.
"Are you Tommy?" he asks incredulously.
"Fuck you," presumably Tommy says.
Techno hops over the railing of his boat, landing with both feet on the pier. He's spotted a good target. It's a fancy thing for a canal runner, that's for sure; it's got one of those nearly-silent magic-powered motors that were popular about a year and a half ago with the rich folks, which means the person he's stealing this from probably won't miss it and it will serve Tommy's presumed goals alright. Also, it means someone is less likely to notice Techno being kidnapped by a child, which he's still not over. He's losing his edge. He let a kid hide in his boat, somehow. Was this another conspiracy?
"Is this Squid's fault?" he muses to himself as he ambles over to the boat. There's probably security measures on it, but… yep, he can see them. He walks back over to his own boat.
"Hey, Tommy, hand me that hammer," he says.
"Oh, yeah, sure," Tommy says, pretty definitively confirming that it's definitely Tubbo's Tommy that's messing around with morally questionable ancient magic. Techno is going to have to tell Ranboo about this next time they go to market. Maybe Tommy needs an intervention.
Techno then takes the hammer and smashes his target boat's security monitor. It lets out one struggling shriek before going silent.
"WHAT THE FUCK," says Tommy.
"Okay, boat stolen. You gonna let me go take my unsold potatoes home, or…?"
"Why did you fucking do that?" Tommy asks. "Haven't you heard of lockpicks?"
"…you're askin' a war god to steal a boat. What you get is what you get I don't know what to tell you," Techno says.
"This was a bad idea, a real fucking bad idea," Tommy says. "I don't know why I'm doing this, this is such a bad idea."
"Yeah, I agree," Techno says reasonably.
"You're still helping me find my brother," Tommy says.
Techno had been kind of hoping he wouldn't say that. That he would, in fact, actually say something like "wow Techno, thanks for the boat, I have now realized that kidnapping the War Hog won't actually help me find a missing person, I don't know what I was thinking with that". Then again, Techno didn't know what he was thinking with the idea a human might let him go when they're in the middle of some bullheaded scheme. He saw enough ropes and chains and bells and screams during the Storm. He knows well enough what happens when a human is pushed very far.
He gets in the boat. He gestures to Tommy before admitting: "Now, I'm not a city pig, so I'm not really sure how to…"
"I can drive," Tommy says.
The kid starts the motor with surprising skill. Little canal runners are very common in the inner city, sure, but fancy ones like this one aren't. The quiet motor isn't the kind of thing the poorer folks in the inner city want, and these days, the government and rich types don't really use them too much either. He's seen some people showing off with them on the outskirts, but they don't need the maneuverability where the canals of the floating city are wider, they just want to show off that they're rich enough to be able to afford the kind of canal runner that can only hold two people, runs faster than the cops do, and is quieter than the other boats on the block. As said, Techno doesn't mind stealing it, but he does mind that Tommy knows how to run it. In Techno's experience, the magic on these makes them run oddly. It takes a certain sort.
Tommy's also Tubbo's age. Tubbo may work for the government and may be an adult in the eyes of it, but Techno's pretty sure he's actually still kind of a kid human. For some reason or another Techno still doesn't understand, the Governor had taken an interest in him, which meant Tubbo was constantly working these days, but personally, Techno takes that as another sign the Governor should probably fall off a building. That, or maybe kid humans are more competent than Techno remembers? It still doesn't explain how Tommy's running the boat so well, though.
"You, uh, done this before?" Techno asks, because he isn't particularly good with awkward silences. Silence on his own, he can do that, but silence with other people…
"What? Yeah, I've done this before, I live in the inner city, don't I?"
"With this kind of boat?" Techno asks.
Tommy shrugs and doesn't answer, which Techno thinks is either a yes or a no, depending on which one is more concerning.
They're quickly passing the mid-city. They're in the wrong area for Niki's bakery, Techno thinks, which is a shame; he could probably jump off the boat to get a new baguette if they were close to it, but alas, he would not be getting a baguette. Instead, things are just getting darker and darker. It's a common effect of getting deeper into the Floating City. When it had originally been built, it had been much shorter. The magic required to anchor new docks to the seafloor, though, was less difficult than the magic required to just keep building up, so keep building up people did. Eventually, people realized they had to build out, too, more difficult magic be damned, but the damage had mostly been done; the narrow canals and the tall buildings together cast deeper and deeper shadows the further into the city one travels. There are streetlights, of course. Major canals had lights strung inside of them, too, just to ensure that they remained clearly visible at night. Still, there's a reason the rich moved up as the buildings did.
Techno honestly doesn't like it much. It's nothing to do with the crimes, the run-down alleys and minor canals, or the general sense that a place like this was where all the mistakes of the city eventually would flow to and flow from. It's not that the famously easiest places for someone to drown are here. It's not even that Techno isn't able to bring his boat down most of these canals. It's mostly how hard it is to see the sky.
If he sets aside his personal dislike, he can admit the area Tommy's leading them to isn't terrible. It has underlit canals at least, which means Techno probably isn't going to get asked to murder anyone. He can't decide if that's a good thing or a crying shame. He knows how to murder people. He still doesn't know what the kid wants from him, or why he's helping him find a missing brother.
After a bit, Tommy pulls the boat into a small canal dock. He gestures to a flight of stairs. The two of them walk up about five stories to an apartment. Tommy opens the door; Techno goes in, even though Tommy hadn't asked. He looks around.
"It's, uh—"
"If you make fun of my apartment I'll punch you."
Techno snorts lightly; he's not threatened by the kid. Also, he wasn't going to make fun of it, he was going to offer awkward reassurances, but since he's given the offer: it's a small flat. The kitchen is stacked up with unopened boxes. There's a futon lying on the middle of the floor, and Techno's at least pleased to see it looks like a nice enough futon, even if it means Techno doesn't actually have a place to sleep himself because that is it.
A futon, a kitchen full of unopened boxes, and one other thing: in the winter, there's a charm hanging. Techno would say it's a battle god charm, what with the magpie feathers, but there's something odd about the way the feathers are wrapped together. He can tell it's a real enough charm—there's a difference between the sort that are made properly and the sort that aren't that's hard to place—but since it's not for him, and since it's probably not for Philza, either, Techno can't really guess who or what it's made for. Can't be one of the common worship figures, at least; those guys tend to have charms that look a lot less homemade.
"I can steal a bean bag chair or something," Techno compulsively offers. Tommy turns bright red.
"It's fine. You're not staying long. You're just helping me find my brother and then I'm letting you go, alright? This is nothing! You don't have to worry about nothing."
Yeah, here's the thing: Techno's going to worry a little bit, because he's not sure he should be taking orders from someone who's using their kitchen for storage instead of feeding themselves. He holds himself back from saying it, though, because saying it is probably rude.
"Now, go find him," Tommy says.
Techno does not leave the apartment.
"Yeah, I don't know your brother," Techno says.
Tommy throws up his hands.
…Techno thinks his kidnapper has not thought things through.
In the end, the sun's too low to be sending Tommy out and about, and while Techno, being a war god and all, would probably be fine in a dark alleyway in one of the not-quite-worst but not-quite-best parts of town, he's pretty sure Tommy's gonna follow him, and Tubbo would probably kill him if he got Tommy lost. Speaking of, Techno probably ought to contact Tubbo, but, well—the thing is, Techno doesn't have a good way to. He can't leave.
After a few minutes of arguing, during which Tommy refused to say anything about his brother at all, Tommy had told Techno that fine, sleep on the futon, Tommy's used to the floor. Techno decided to exercise his ability to break the bindings just a little to say absolutely not, he's a guest, he's gonna be the one sleeping on the floor. Tommy had yelled about gods not being supposed to be polite. Techno asked where Tommy had heard that, ignoring the voice in his head pointing out that gods that haven’t been spending as much time with mortals as he had definitely were not, in fact, polite. What they are is stubborn, and Techno knows how to be stubborn. It may have been a bit since he had a guest or was a guest to anyone, but he knows his hospitality! He's not gonna get himself smited, thank you. Tommy points out Techno is, once again, a god.
Techno wins the argument. Techno lies on the floor next to Tommy while Tommy curls up on the futon and plays with the magic in his head. He's not a big fan of forced heirarchy, or heirarchy in a general sense at all, really, but—here's the thing about god bells and ropes and bindings. They're old magic. They can trap a god. They cannot change its nature. By all rights, Tommy should be dead, Techno should be licking blood off of his tusks, and they both should have learned very valuable lessons about blond kids hiding in boats.
They hadn't. Techno had instead stolen a boat and can feel the pulsing chains holding him to the room he's in now, unable to leave the side of a kid who doesn't know just how close he got to being murdered, and thinking about how he's a being who's supposed to be more or less defined by an immutable nature that has, sure enough, just mutated. "Just", of course, being relative—he's not quite sure exactly when, except that's a lie, because he has a guess all the same.
He snorts quietly to himself. Yeah, okay. He's pretty sure that the Thief would have loved hearing her little exile scheme worked out within only a few mortal lifespans.
He looks at the charm in Tommy's window again. A breeze runs through it, the black feathers reflecting an eerie green-blue from the under-canal lights five stories below them. If Techno can't leave the apartment, he can at least look through Tommy's stuff while the kid sleeps off forbidden magic, right? He gets up and goes over to the boxes. Most of them are also annoyingly empty, actually. How little stuff does this kid have? Some records without a record player, a black beanie, and a radio. He's got some clothes in the other boxes, but a lot of the clothes seem a bit torn up, and the green hoodie is not Tommy's color at all. No wonder he's not wearing it. No wonder he isn't opening the boxes.
Techno carefully pulls out the radio. He glances over at Tommy. The kid's dead asleep, so it can't hurt to turn on the radio. When it's turned on, it's set to weather alerts—a wind advisory, and apparently a tropical storm is forming a bit South of them, well within usual parameters for the Floating City but a bit unseasonable, perhaps a sign of the changing climate. Tommy's on the fifth floor in the inner city, which means even if they get hit with that storm, it's unlikely to have a real effect. The canals flood, sure, but the city floats above the waves. It would have to be at least a cat 3 for anyone to really worry out here. Techno's farm, though—it floats above the waves, but he should probably get back there to tie some things down as soon as he can. He's got enough favor with storms he doesn't think his farm will ever sink, but his poor potatoes. His poor potatoes, man.
Techno flips the channel. He flips past the news—apparently that gang, some guys called the Dreamers, are a big enough deal to end up on the radio—past a music channel—Techno has spent way too much time on his farm to keep up with pop music—and finally lands on a sports channel. It's late, so any water polo games are pretty done, but they're rebroadcasting a women's match from this morning. Finally, something worth listening to.
Techno listens to the game while he carefully moves all the boxes from Tommy's counters. If he's going to be sticking around long—hopefully not, but he's also not particularly hopeful Tommy has a great plan for finding his brother—he's going to make sure he has space to keep on trying to perfect his perogie recipe. He does kind of wish the boxes had more information on Tommy's brother, but this whole apartment is so sparse of personal belongings that it's almost hard to believe Tommy has a brother in the first place.
He's going to be stuck here forever, he just knows it. Apparently, his nature has shifted enough that even a relatively weak bell like the one Tommy had used is enough to make him want to stick around and help. At this rate, no one's ever going to be scared of him again. His reputation is ruined.
Ah, well.
Tommy sleeps through the game as Techno stays up folding the clothes from Tommy's boxes, down to the green hoodie that he doesn't think fits Tommy at all and the jeans with too many holes to wear. He puts them in a small pile by the corner. He runs the sink to make sure the pipes are clean. He goes to stick his head out the window next to the charm. The streets below are nearly empty; there's one man smoking a cigarette just far enough away that Techno can't smell it from this high up.
He leaves the window open. They're on the fifth floor, and Tommy's a lost kid. What's the worst that can happen?
"THERE IS A BLOODY BIRD ATTACKING ME!"
Techno bolts awake to see Tommy yelling at a messenger pigeon in his hair.
"Woah, hey, that's not how you treat a bird of that stature," Techno says seriously, walking over and holding out his wrist. The bird lands, lets Techno untie the message, and hops open to the windowsill, where it starts very angrily preening itself.
"That bird was trying to kill me," Tommy says.
"I, uh, don't think it was," Techno says, scanning the note. "Did these guys get smarter in the past century?"
"I know they use some kind of magic for guidance?" Tommy says. "Wait, is that letter for you?"
Techno shrugs. It is. It's from Niki. Apparently, Ranboo's date had not gone well to the tune of 'he and Tubbo got harassed by some weirdoes and they were particularly harassing Ranboo'. Shame, that. Techno's either gonna have to kill some folks or introduce them to his contacts at the Dockworker's Union, one or the other. Also, Niki had noticed that Techno's boat was abandoned by the docks and that he was not on it. Did she need to talk to anyone? She'd be a little mad if he were dead.
Oh, good. That had worked out the way he'd wanted it to.
He looks over at Tommy. "Hey, uh, want some help? Because I've got my own problem I've got to be attending to, but—"
"No!" Tommy yelps. "No, no one can know about me! No one!"
"Okay, okay," Techno says, holding up his hands. "You got a pen?"
"I just said—"
"I'm not telling her," Techno lies, before writing down an approximation of Tommy's address on the back of the paper and sending the bird on to Niki. 'Lies' is a strong word, really. He's just creatively telling the truth. It's an important tactic in warfare, to say things like 'I'm not going to tell Niki about you' and actually mean 'yeah I'm not saying I got kidnapped by a child, this is one of the most embarrassing things that has happened to me in my entire life, you don't understand, this is horrible, you've gotta save me Niki, he doesn't have a plan'. She'll be able to read between the lines. He believes in her abilities like that.
"Listen, I've got us a plan now," Tommy says.
"Oh, good," Techno says. It comes across as perhaps slightly sarcastic. He doesn't mean it. He's only a little sarcastic here. The sooner there's a plan, the sooner he can find this kid's brother, and the sooner he can put this whole thing behind him, retire to his potatoes, and think about the fact that he's gone and gotten soft in his old age.
"My brother, he's kind of a known sort of guy. I think we should break into Tubbo's office."
Never mind.
"Why are all of your plans crimes?" Techno asks, and he shoos the bird out the window.
"Because all my enemies, they're, they're criminals, Techno. Dirty criminals. And my brother? Oh, boy, he's the dirtiest criminal of all."
Techno's so caught up in disagreeing with Tommy that he almost asks why they'd be near Tubbo's office, but then he stops himself. For one, that's a stupid question—Tubbo works for the government. Of course there are all kinds of dirty criminals there. For another, this is actually great for Techno; he can tell more of his friends what's going on and perhaps get some more eyes on the ground.
This is not reassuring, but Techno's always kind of wanted to break into the government, so sure, may as well let the kid escalate. He goes down the narrow stairs back to the boat they stole. He's admittedly a little surprised no one stole it back.
Oh well. Someone definitely will by the government offices.
As Tommy starts the boat again, Techno asks: "If we're going to be looking for your brother at a government office, will you uh, tell me what he looks like?"
Tommy looks slightly to the left of Techno's eyes and says: "His name is Wilbur, and he's like, tall and stuff. Don't worry. I'll tell you when we find him. You just gotta help me."
This is even less reassuring than the plan, but in Techno's long life, he's technically worked with less. He gets on the boat with Tommy, and they head on their way.