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Grace only had the specimen for a week before the worst possible thing finally happened.
He got complacent.
In his defense, he was overwhelmed by his excitement to work on something brand new! New to him, new to the Eridians- heck, new to any sentient life as far as he could tell! A xeno-specimen from a new planet was about as good as it could possibly get for a molecular biologist.
Adrian had brought the sample to him almost a week ago. The Eridians had become incredibly proficient space explorers since Grace’s arrival. They quickly absorbed all the information they could from the Hail Mary and immediately started putting it to use, seeding nearby stars with taumoeba and beginning to explore local planets and their moons. A team of Eridians had returned from exploring an Earth-like planet and had collected samples of the native flora. The planet was covered with seemingly complex eukaryotic life. Grace nearly passed out from excitement when Adrian delivered the organism, telling him the team eagerly awaited his input on this first specimen.
It was some sort of plant. At first examination, it appeared to be something equivalent to a cross between a flower and a fungi. Vibrant pink and blue petal-like structures surrounded a dense pocket of what looked like tiny black seeds. The stalk descended into fluted gills and delicate curling roots twisting lazily. The alien plant measured about the length of his hand from the tips of his fingers to his wrist. His initial examinations indicated it had a more of a chitinous structure rather than cellulose one, and it didn’t appear to photosynthesize. It was odd, both familiar and nothing like Grace had ever seen before. Impatient to learn more, he put on gloves and cradled in both hands
In hindsight, he should’ve realized his haste would be his Achilles heel. He was only transporting the xeno-specimen from one container to another, he thought. One right there on the other counter! Only, because he was so eager to start his experiments, in his haste he neglected some of (all of) the standard safety protocols. Including his mask.
It would have been fine (really! probably!) - except he bumped the nearby cabinet where his resting tea mug lay forgotten.
The mug crashed and shattered with a sharp crack, splashing him and the specimen with liquid. Grace tried instinctively to shield the plant, holding it close to himself, but it got splashed anyway. Before he had a moment to react, the sample puffed a cloud of what seemed to be spores directly into his face.
What a strange reaction to liquid exposure. I should write this down. Grace flashed back to the rules his professors had insisted on about lab safety, the memory of his freshman year lab supervisor’s voice ringing in his head.
“OSHA rules are written in blood," he recalled as the panic set in.
“Oh no, oh no, oh no,” Grace quickly locked the specimen away in the container and rushed over to the sink. He furiously splashed water on his face, trying to rinse off whatever had gotten on to him.
“Grace?” Simon’s alarmed voice came through the door separating the at-home laboratory from their living space, “Are you okay? I heard a crash. What happened?!” Simon rushed through the door to where Grace stood dripping over the sink.
“I, uh, the specimen, it…I, uh,” Grace felt himself flush, “...I got sprayed.”
Simon blinked in confusion. “Sprayed?”
“Yeah, some kind of spores. I was about to run some tests,” he gestured to where the sample sat in its container, “but I accidentally spilled something and I guess liquid activates a sort of defense mechanism because all of a sudden I’m getting a face full of mystery xeno-pollen and -well, I don’t know if it’s pollen but it could be something similar- I should get a sample, I hope it hasn’t been contaminated-”
“Grace, you got sprayed in the face by an alien flower?” Simon asked, incredulous and a little exasperated.
“Uh…yeah,” Grace rubbed his neck, embarrassment flushing his ears bright red, “...oops?”
Simon stared at him, face inscrutable.
Grace’s heart started to race and he felt his cheeks heat. After a beat of silence, Simon reached out and grabbed his wrist. The contact sent an intense jolt of electricity through Grace where they touched.
Huh.
“C’mon,” Simon barked, pulling Grace along, “we’re calling ‘em.”
Grace's thoughts came to a screeching halt.
“Well, that seems a little premature!!” he protested.
“Nope. You were exposed to some mysterious alien shit. Not risking it.” Simon continued resolutely without breaking his stride, leading Grace into their living room.
“We don’t know what it does! Or if I’ll be affected! It could be incompatible with human biology! I just want to learn more before needlessly worrying them…“ Grace’s hopeless objection trailed off as they reached the video console hanging on the wall.
Simon dropped Grace’s wrist and punched in the key code to call Rocky and Adrian.
“Grace, Simon! Hello! It is Rocky.” Rocky’s translated voice came crackling through the speaker. Grace had become decently fluent in Eridian in his time here, and although Simon was picking it up remarkably (enviably) fast, they kept the translator on for ease more often than not. Rocky appeared on the tablet screen, waving a claw at the camera set up in his own home.
“Is Adrian there? We need both of you.” Simon stated bluntly.
“Am here. What do Simon and Grace need, question?” Adrian came into view on the screen, their large turquoise frame dwarfing their partner. Rocky had installed the video tablet so he and Grace could still talk when he couldn’t come to the dome. It had been great for keeping up with each other, since Rocky couldn’t visit physically as often as he’d like. It surprised Grace when, over time, it turned out Simon and Adrian developed their own friendship as well. He’d found the two of them chatting at the console a handful of times now, bonding over their love of tinkering and engineering. Grace once saw them working on a prototype for something similar to a phone that would allow them to send written messages back and forth.
Grace felt his ears burning and his shoulders tightened. He’d promised Adrian he’d be more careful in the lab. He glanced away from the screen as Simon spoke.
“Grace poisoned himself with an alien flower.”
Rocky shrieked a discordant cry. “Grace poisoned? Grace sick, in danger question?!”
“Yes,” said Simon at the same time Grace cried out, “No!”
Grace spoke first. “We don’t know if anything is wrong! I could be perfectly fine,” Maybe Grace was trying to convince himself almost as much as them, but he really didn’t want anyone to panic.
“There is no way we’re taking a risk to find out. Believe me, you don’t want to experience how bad it can get.” Simon implored, “Alien shit can fuck with your mind as much as your body. I don’t want anything like that to happen to you.”
Grace softened, “I know, Simon. You’re right. And I’m not saying we shouldn’t do anything. It’s-...I hate making everyone worry.” Grace looked at his hands, “I’m sorry.”
“Grace and Simon both correct.” Adrian’s melodic voice trilled through the comm, “We will take care of Grace but we will do best to stay calm. Grace, please have Armando do a full workup and send to Eridian medical team. Team can monitor for changes. Adrian will have science team prioritize study of the specimen to understand interaction with human biology. Rocky and Simon watch over Grace and monitor symptoms. Rocky communicate with Eridians, provide updates as soon as possible. Agree question?”
Simon and Grace nodded. Grace appreciated Adrian’s ability to stay level headed. Their calming presence always managed to sooth his nerves.
“Good. Adrian will go speak to medical and science team. Rocky-” They were cut off by loud crashing as Rocky scurried out the door.
“Rocky on his way to Grace now!” he chirped frantically as he disappeared out of view.
Grace couldn’t say Rocky had quite the same calming air as his mate.
***
Rocky, Grace and Simon sat on the plush couch cushions, each claiming for themselves what had become their usual spots. The Eridians had taken a lot of input from Grace when designing his home, wanting it to be the best possible space for him. He loved the big windows and the natural light they let in, the welcoming open concept. They put in a sunken living room with a big, sturdy yet plush sectional filled with lots of blankets and pillows. He loved curling up in them, he always found it so comforting. That’s what home meant to him, warm, safe. A sanctuary he fought hard for. And when Simon joined, he slid right in like the piece Grace hadn’t known had been missing.
Grace hated being the cause of the tension in the air right now. It had been an hour since Rocky arrived. Grace unwrapped the quilt from his shoulders, feeling too warm and uncomfortable. He looked sheepishly at the other two. “I really am sorry about all this.”
“Rocky understand it was accident, but Grace clumsy, clumsy, clumsy! Rocky worried for friend Grace. Grace be more careful, statement!”
Grace winced sheepishly, “Yeah, I know buddy”
“How are you feeling?” Simon asked, voice quiet.
Grace considered that. He felt warm, too warm for the temperature controlled environment. His skin felt too sensitive. Charged, the simple brush of fabric against his arm felt overwhelming. His heart beat fast against his ribcage. Especially when he met Simon’s observant gaze.
“Not awful, but not great. A little feverish, maybe? Warm, and my heart’s beating kind of hard” he rubbed a hand against his chest.
Simon glanced at where Armando’s hovered above Grace, and reviewed the robot’s screen. His brows pulled together as he considered. “Okay. Your heart rate and temperature have both increased a little since Armando first scanned, but the diagnostic says it’s not at a dangerous level yet. Still, we shouldn’t take anything for granted. It seems like we can pretty much confirm you are being affected by whatever that thing did, so we need to know if anything changes or gets worse.”
Grace nodded then gave a shrug. “Maybe I’ll get lucky for once and this is as bad as it’ll get,” As soon as he said the words, a spark of pain bloomed behind his eyes and he hissed out in discomfort, pressing his hand against his forehead. “Then again,” he groaned, “maybe not.”
Simon and Rocky were at his side instantly, Rocky trilling an anxious melody.
“What is it? What’s wrong?” Simon’s deep, warm brown eyes were full of concern and Grace felt something electric kaleidoscope in his stomach.
“My head, it hurt for a second, but it’s…it’s better now.” He let out a sigh, resting his head in his hands. “Guess I’m not out of the woods yet.” Worry seeped into his mind, thoughts starting to race. What if he had been too cavalier about all of this? What if this was more serious than he first guessed? What if this was something bad, bad enough they couldn’t fix it? His heart beat faster as he spiraled. Was that a symptom too? Was it getting worse? Fear rose in his throat.
Simon must've seen his panic and put a reassuring hand on Grace’s shoulder. When Simon first arrived, he had completely avoided touch. Over the months, he had gradually gotten more comfortable and now often initiated contact between the two of them. Grace appreciated his touch in this moment more than he could say.
“Hey I’m here. I’m staying right here.” Simon promised, gentle and certain.
Such simple words and yet exactly what Grace needed. Simon’s presence was so steady, so solid. A rock, an anchor. A lighthouse on a foreign shore.
Grace so often felt like too much and not enough. He had been told all his life he talked too much, too fast, too confusing. Too loud, but often too quiet. He didn’t ask the right questions or say the right things when expected. An overthinking too often thoughtless. Too sensitive, too worried. Not brave enough, strong enough, worthy enough. Not for people to stay. Too easy to toss aside, it seemed.
But those thoughts had quieted around Simon. Simon who always wanted to hear what Grace had to say. Simon, who seemed to absorb Grace’s frantic energy like a plant did sunlight. Simon, who treated every kindness like a miracle, and looked at Grace like he might be one too.
Grace smiled and put an appreciative hand on top of Simon’s. Rocky stepped forward and placed a claw on Grace too. How had Grace gotten so lucky, to have a best friend as loyal, caring, and passionate as Rocky? And then to also find another human, an unimaginable distance away from home, who saw him in a way he’d never been seen on Earth?
“Thank you,” he said, grateful to two beings he couldn’t believe found their way into his life.
***
The symptoms got worse.
They came on sporadically. Which might be the worst part, Grace opined. The unpredictability of when the next wave would crash down on him.
The pain in his head ebbed and flowed and his temperature continued to climb. His sensitivity to touch grew in intensity. His clothes felt too tight, the feeling of rough fabric on his skin overwhelming at times. His breathing quickened, joints aching and brain going foggy. The symptoms grew and waned in intensity, from mild to nearly unbearable at times.
Simon gently wiped the sweat gathering on Grace’s forehead with a cool cloth. Rocky chirped worriedly from across the room. He ran too hot to comfortably provide care to an already overheated Grace.
“It’s getting worse.” said Simon, worry lacing his tone.
Grace gave him a rueful smile, “This isn’t too bad. I was in way worse shape when I arrived on Erid, and I got through that fine.”
“Not ‘fine’! Almost died, very bad, bad, bad!” came Rocky’s shrill reply.
“I’m with Rocky on this one. Let’s not tempt fate. Here, let me see how you feel.” Simon put the back of his hand on Grace’s forehead.
His touch felt electric in a way Grace hadn’t felt in a long, long time. If Grace was honest with himself, there had been many times Simon’s touch had elicited a swarm of butterflies in his stomach or brought a flush to his cheeks. He kept his crush on the other man close to his chest, terrified of making Simon feel any sort of pressure to reciprocate feelings. Simon had gone through so much, and had been so terrified when he’d arrived. Grace couldn’t stand shattering his hard won peace by making Simon feel like he had some sort of obligation to Grace’s feelings. Keeping it locked away felt safer. He’d had enough practice doing so in his life, he knew the routine.
But the way Simon’s touch felt in the moment sent a pleasant jolt through his veins, sharp and singing in its intensity. The feeling seared through him, familiar but unnamed. Grace stared at Simon with wide eyes.
“You’re still pretty warm,” Simon withdrew his hand and Grace felt the lack of touch like a punch to the gut. Simon must have noticed his reaction. “Grace? What is it?”
“No-nothing. Just, uh, just the symptoms. But not worse or anything. Just…yeah.” Grace trailed off, looking away from Simon.
Simon opened his mouth to respond when the video console beeped.
“Rocky will get! Adrian promised to call with update!” Rocky scrambled over to the comm and Adrian popped on the screen.
“Rocky, Grace, Simon. I have an update from the Eridian science and medical teams. Team think they have breakthrough might help Grace.” Adrian’s notes quivered gently with excitement.
“What is it?” Rocky and Simon replied at the same time, Simon and Grace hurrying to Rocky at the console.
“Eridian xeno-biologists reviewed observational data of the organism in natural habitat. Organism had strange properties on native lifeforms. Exposure to the spores seems to act as a catalyst for primal urges leading to reproductive behavior. Lifeforms began to act increasingly erratic after exposure, symptoms seeming to cease upon completion of successful sexual reproduction.” Adrian sang in a hopeful tune, “All Grace need to cure symptoms is to mate!”
It took a moment for Adrian’s words to sink in. In order to stop what was happening to him, he’d need to…
This had to be some kind of sick joke.
“Wait a minute,” Simon stepped toward the video console, “are you telling me Grace got infected by some sort of alien ‘make-you-fuck’ flower?”
Rocky and Adrian chirped back and forth at one another, before Adrian answered, “Reductive, but accurate.”
“Good! Solution! Simon and Grace mate, cure Grace!” Rocky trilled happily.
“Now hang on a second,” Grace shook himself out of his stupor, “Adrian, I’m going to need you to be more specific with what exactly the scientists found. How are they so sure this is a…cure?”
“Data shows it is intended effect. Grace correct the organism behaves similarly to Earth fungi, gaining nutrients from decaying matter. Water, like Earth rain, triggers release of spores, which attract lifeforms due to the spore’s assistance in reproduction by encouraging release of genetic material. Success encourages an evolutionary attraction to the organism. But spores also cause symptoms like Grace have. Some lifeforms fail to reproduce, symptoms get worse and life die. These dead now provide food for the organism spores to make new life, continuing organism reproduction.”
“Ah,” Simon deadpanned, “it’s a ‘make-you-fuck-or-die’ flower. Got it.”
Later, Grace would come to appreciate the cleverness of the reproduction strategy. Evolution’s only goal was a successful continuation of a species and this seemed damn successful. But right now, he focused on more pressing matters.
“Okay,” Grace shook his head, thinking, “if I just need to, uh…release genetic material, then I should be able to…” he blushed furiously, “take care of things myself, right?” Grace hoped Adrian understood his question.
“Incorrect. Masturbation insufficient solution.” Adrian sang decisively. “Lifeforms on organism’s planet are unisexual. They reproduce by mutual exchange of individual genetic material. Successful elimination of symptoms occurs upon both release of own genetic material and receipt of foreign genetic material.”
This couldn’t be happening. This simply couldn’t be happening.
Grace groaned, covering his eyes. “And how often did failure to ‘reproduce’ result in death?”
Rocky stamped his foot at Grace’s question, “Doesn’t matter. Simon human like Grace, can mate and fix! Fix Grace quick!”
“Rocky is correct,” Adrian hummed, “Simon same species as Grace, can exchange genetic material with Grace. Answer to Grace question, approximately 40% of exposed lifeforms did not reproduce. Of those, death occurred in over half of the affected.” Adrian paused solemnly, “Mating simplest and most likely option to cure Grace, for Grace to survive.”
“What problem, question?!” Rocky stamped his foot twice, impatiently.
Grace held up his hands “Guys, it’s…look, it’s not that simple-”
“I’ll do it.”
Grace whipped around and stared at Simon, who stood with his arm in his pocket staring at the video console.
“What? Simon, I- you don’t- I couldn’t- I mean I…look, I can’t ask that of you, it’s, it’s- that’s not fair, It’s too-” Grace fumbled, mind struggling to keep up with his words.
“You’re not asking. I’m offering. Hell, I’m insisting.”
“But, Simon, it’s-this is crazy. It’s too much to expect of you, of anyone!”
Simon’s eyes bore into his, “Grace, don’t ask me to do nothing. That’s the only thing I couldn’t stand. Don’t ask me to sit back and let you suffer, hoping on at best a fucking coin flip you survive. Not when I can do something. Not when I can help.” He stepped towards Grace, taking his hand, “We’ve all lost too much already. I can’t risk losing you too. Let me help. Please.” Grace could hear the desperation singeing the edges of his voice.
“Ok,” Grace whispered softly, deflating. “Ok.”
***
Grace sat at the edge of the bed, head in his hands as he tugged at his hair.
The symptoms had seemed to calm temporarily, almost like the acceptance of what was about to happen had doused the flames a little. But he finally recognized what he’d been feeling.
Arousal.
The worst part was he wanted this with Simon. But not like this. This twisted monkey’s paw kind of situation. Simon sparked for the first time in years-maybe decades- an intense attraction in Grace that surprised him. After arriving on Erid, he’d accepted the lonely ache of never having human connection again. Then Simon arrived, turned his world upside down, and slowly stoked a fire Grace hadn’t realized could burn so brightly. Grace craved for the first time in so, so, so long. And now here, getting what he had silently fantasized about, he felt sick to his stomach.
Simon was forced to do this. Grace knew Simon asked to, offered to, wanted to. But he offered because he was good and kind and wanted to help Grace. Not because he wanted Grace.
He had no doubt Simon cared about him and Grace cherished the gentle trust he built with the other man. His friendship with Simon, though different from the one he had with Rocky, felt as precious. And it wasn’t like Grace and Simon had never had physical contact. In fact, they were quite affectionate with one another. They frequently cuddled while watching movies or relaxing at night. They often shared the same bed, finding comfort in the physical presence of one another. And, yeah, they found reasons to hold hands about every day. But they were two touch starved humans taking solace in something neither thought they would have again.
It didn’t mean Simon wanted to have sex with him.
Grace flopped onto the bed, throwing an arm over his face. He didn’t know if Simon liked men. What if he was disgusted by this? Repulsed by him? Grace anguished at the thought, fearing the image of Simon closing his eyes and gritting his teeth to get through it. For Grace to crave and be forced to endure the depths of its unrequitedness, to make Simon feel obligated to do something he didn’t want? It was unbearable. He had no idea what to do.
He heard Simon’s footsteps and looked up to see him walking into the room, carrying a small bag. Simon’s eyes flicked to Grace for a moment before setting it on the ground at the foot of the bed. “Adrian gave me some…supplies.” he offered after a beat.
“Oh…uh, yeah good. Great.” Grace didn’t know what to say, hating how nervous he felt.
With a quiet exhale, Simon ran a hand through his hair. The motion pulled up the bottom corner of his shirt, exposing a strip of toned skin. Grace’s mouth started to water and the butterflies in his stomach came alive. This was torture.
“How are you feeling?” Simon’s voice rasped, achingly gentle.
Grace hoped Simon didn’t catch him staring. “I’m okay for now. Really.” Grace sat up twisting his fingers. “I’m sorry you got roped into my mess. This is all my fault.”
“Grace, you don’t need to keep apologizing. Besides, now’s not exactly the time for a lecture on lab safety.” Grace winced, anticipating the scolding he’d get from the Eridian science team next time he saw them. “As long as you’re okay. That’s the most important thing.” Simon sat on the bed and held Grace’s hand. “Whatever you need.”
It was so sweet it made Grace’s chest ache. A mirror reflection of what he had secretly yearned for mocking him. Close, but so tortuously far from the real thing. “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable or- or make you do anything you don’t want to. Please don’t feel like you have to do anything, really.” Grace squeezed Simon’s hand. “It wouldn’t be worth it, not to me, if I made you feel like that.”
“Grace, I promise you I’m not doing anything I don’t want to. And I promise I won’t do anything I don’t want to,” Simon rubbed his thumb against the back of Grace’s hand, “if you promise the same. Deal?”
“Deal.” Grace nodded, a knot loosening a bit in his stomach.
Simon nodded, giving Grace a small smile before his face settled, carefully blank. “So…according to Adrian, the best chance for curing you is if I come inside you.” Grace’s body ignited at the words, hot and tingly and there was no way he was going to survive this “You’ll need to come too, but apparently that doesn’t need to be…penetrative.” Grace fought every instinct in him to cover his eyes and hide.
“Got it.” he squeaked. His face burned.
“How do you wanna do this?” Grace looked at him, unsure exactly what he meant, and Simon explained, “You’re in control here Grace. I know we gotta cure you, but still. You say stop, we stop.” He got quiet, and Grace could tell he was figuring out how to say something. “Have you…had sex with a man before?”
Grace felt heat around his ears. “Ye-yeah. Uh, a handful of times, in grad school. I’ve uh,” his face burned bright red. Why was this so hard to talk about?, “I’ve bottomed before, but it’s been a while.” Grace paused, nervous, before asking, “Have you? Been with a man, I mean.”
“Yeah, I’ve done it before. Both ways.” Simon said it so casually, like it wasn’t making Grace’s brain feel all staticy. Okay, so Simon had been with men before. That was…good, right? It meant at least the idea of sex with a man didn’t repulse him. Grace hoped the same was true for sex with him specifically.
Simon continued, choosing his words carefully. “If you would feel more comfortable if we approached this…clinically, I can do that.”
Grace did not prefer that. Not at all. “Is that what you’d prefer?” he asked nervously.
“No.” Simon answered directly, then shrugged. “Honestly, I’d prefer something a little more natural. But I’m more interested in what you want.”
“That, uh…natural yeah. That sounds good.”
Simon gazed at him, deep brown eyes searching. “Would it…help…,” he paused, gathering his thoughts. “Do you want me to…take the lead?”
“Yes.” Grace felt a rush of relief (and something more tantalizing) at the idea of Simon taking charge. He caught himself. “If you want that, I mean.”
Simon smiled and there was an undeniable affection in his eyes. “Yeah. Yeah, I think I can do that.”
His eyes dropped to Grace’s lips. Grace felt warm all over, fingers and toes tingling. A torturously delicious spark burned in his belly. Simon wrapped his hand around the base of Grace’s skull, threading his fingers through his hair. He leaned closer.
“Can I kiss you?” his low voice rumbled through Grace and he shivered.
“Yes, pl-” the words were cut off as Simon pressed his lips to Grace’s. The kiss was gentle. The first thing Grace noticed was how warm Simon’s lips were. Warm, and soft, and light. It was sweet and bright and delicate. A ripe tangerine, sticky and sweet, on a hot summer day.
The kiss wasn’t gentle for long.
Simon’s tongue flicked out and licked at the seam of Grace’s mouth. He gasped and Simon darted his tongue, licking before sucking his lower lip between his own. Grace gripped the front of Simon’s shirt. He felt dizzy, almost lightheaded. He never wanted this to stop. Simon tilted his head to deepen the kiss, and Grace let out a moan.
He surprised himself and cut off the noise, breaking away from the kiss. “Sorry, sorry,” he apologized breathlessly, “I didn’t mean to make that, uh, that sound. I can be quiet, I know that’s what some people prefer, I don’t wanna make this weird but now I feel like I made it weird by stopping and,” Grace was hyperaware of his body, dissonant with feelings of desire and need and now also embarrassment. He dropped his eyes, “I’ve never really been good at this, and I- I’m not sure wh-”
“Grace,” Simon’s rasped, voice rough, “Don’t stop. I want to hear you.”
“O-oh?” He blinked at Simon.
“Yeah, I want you to feel good.” Simon moved his hand to Grace’s waist, slipping it beneath his shirt to rest there. Grace shivered, the touch like a brand on his already warm skin. “Grace, I-” He cut himself off, shaking his head slightly. After a moment, he looked at Grace with a tenderness. “Let me take care of you.”
Grace cupped Simon’s cheek and gave him a soft smile. “Okay,” and closed the distance between the two of them.
Their teeth clacked clumsily. Simon didn’t seem to care in the least. Their lips danced, Simon meeting Grace exactly where he needed. Grace wasn’t sure how the man did it, always seeming to understand what Grace needed when he could quite explain it himself.
Grace spent so much of his life feeling like an outsider. Everyone seemed to be following rules to a game he had never been taught. It was confusing and their caustic resentment burned him with shame when he stumbled through it wrong. His parents, always frustrated at him for his wandering mind and drifting attention. His friends, tired of his over-excited ramblings. His exes for missed dates and anniversaries. He felt the divide between himself and the world distinctly. Not always, not all the time. But enough to remind he was never quite good enough.
Simon was different. With him there was no divide at all. They came from such different worlds, and yet they fit each other. Simon had told Grace about his past. About growing up in the cult on Eden, under the harsh leadership of The Father and worship of the Last Tree. About Filament Station, about the mission. About the submarine, the blood ocean, the creature, and the light. Grace confessed his guilt, his cowardice, his willingness to let millions die to save himself. And the two had accepted each other, scars and all. Two lost souls, finding each other in the stars.
And now Grace sank to his elbows, Simon covering him. Grace’s knees fell open and Simon settled his weight there. Grace’s thighs ached with a pleasant stretch to accommodate him. Simon devoured him, heated mouth consuming. He whimpered and Simon groaned softly, nipping his bottom lip.
Grace was on fire. The pollen made everything brighter, more intense. It was almost painful, the aching want burning him inside. The more Simon gave him, the more he craved. Sparks radiated, bolting through him with a thrumming fervor. He wrapped his fingers in Simon’s hair, tugging him closer. He felt wild. He felt desperate.
Simon broke away suddenly and it was like the breath was knocked out of him.
Reaching behind his neck, Simon pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it. “Take that off,” he instructed, nodding to Grace’s shirt and Grace scrambled to comply, tossing his shirt aside. He wrapped his arms around Simon’s broad shoulders. The feeling of Simon’s warm skin on his, their chest pressed together, had every nerve in his body singing at the contact. He crashed his mouth against Simon’s, artless and aching. He grew almost painfully hard.
Simon didn’t leave him wanting long, reaching to stroke him through the fabric of his pants. Grace gasped, burying his face in Simon’s neck. He smelled clean and earthy and so utterly Simon. Grace gripped his hair and moaned as Simon palmed him. The touch was too much and not enough. Grace ground his hips against his hand frantically searching for more friction, whimpering.
“I got you,” Simon crooned into Grace’s ear, “I got you. Take off your clothes.”
Grace shimmied out of what remained, too crazed to feel embarrassed at his nakedness. Simon grasped him, large hand wrapped around Grace’s aching cock. Grace moaned, the touch a mix of profound pleasure and relief. Precum gathered at his tip and Simon collected it, spreading the slick along his shaft. Grace fused their lips enthusiastically as Simon stroked him firm and hard. He squeezed and pumped and Grace writhed at his touch.
His mind dissolved into nothing but pleasure and the animal, primal urge to seek more. He bucked his hips, instinctively chasing. He felt crazed, out of his mind with lust. The rough pull of Simon’s fist had him thrusting wildly. Pleasure built like a pressure and he felt like he might explode with it. His skin was too tight. He clawed wildly as Simon’s neck, back, shoulders, anywhere he could reach. He cried out with broken gasps as Simon continued, hand sliding up and down with a deliciously tortuous twist.
“That’s it Grace, just like that.” Simon murmured.
His approaching climax rushed towards him with a feverish intensity. It was overwhelming, like being caught under the crest of a crashing wave. His abdomen contacted, his body tense and he knew he was about to be tumbled.
“Simon-” he cried, and came.
He shuddered, shattering, and pumped himself into Simon’s slick fist. He felt the wetness on his stomach, twitching as gasped for breath. His chest heaved and Simon released him, placing a gentle kiss on his shoulder.
Grace fell onto the pillows, body limp and quiet for a moment. The overwhelming potency of the pollen has dulled and his body didn’t feel as out of control. He closed his eyes and took a breath, a soft smile tugging at his lips. He reveled in the pleasant aftershocks that radiated through him.
He heard Simon shuffling and opened his eyes. Simon returned the bag to the floor, placing a bottle of clear viscous liquid nearby on the bed.
Grace wasn’t sure where Adrian got their claws on lube, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to ask.
Simon stared at Grace with undisguised desire. His pupils were blown wide and his chest heaved. Grace felt flushed and exposed under his stare and it excited him in ways he’d never imagined. Simon rubbed himself, kneaded his hard cock through his pants and Grace watched him with hungry lidded eyes. Simon leaned forward, slotting himself between Grace’s thighs once more, and kissed him.
Grace melted into his touch, hands sliding over his back and down to his waist. He wrapped around Simon, and felt his length against his thigh. Simon swallowed his gasp, and ground himself into him. Their lips danced, taking time to explore now that some of the urgency has dropped to a simmer. Simon’s beard scratched against Grace’s stubble and he delighted in it. Simon traced his hand along Grace’s chest, waist, thighs, his touch firm and grounding.
Mind pleasantly fuzzy, Grace luxuriated in the feeling of skin on skin. Simon gripped Grace’s thigh before rubbing circles with his thumb. He lifted Grace’s leg, hooking it over his shoulder. It was the most exposed Grace had been in years and he felt twin sensations of embarrassment and heat course through him. He threw an arm over his face, covering his eyes. Simon’s touch left him briefly before slick fingers returned to begin rubbing circles over his hole. Grace jumped at the contact, and Simon paused.
“Okay?”
Grace nodded quickly, “Yes! Yes, it’s okay.”
Simon continued his exploration, rubbing his knuckles against Grace’s opening and the grinding pressure felt unbearably sensual. Sex had never felt like this before and Grace was certain the pollen wasn’t the reason.
It was Simon. Simon, molded in a world defined by fear and lack where the harsh reality of living meant a constant battle to survive. Simon, who’d never stopped clawing fiercely and savagely for the chance at another day. Simon, who trusted Grace enough to let down his hard-earned walls to show the tender heart blooming inside.
Simon was the reason.
He coaxed Grace open, slipping the tip of his middle finger inside. Grace breathed deeply, consciously trying to relax as he was stretched. It was a pleasant sensation, if oddly foreign. Simon curled his finger forward and began making a sweeping motion and-
Oh.
A shudder ran through Grace’s body as Simon hit a spot that made sharp pleasure radiate through him. He let out a gasp followed by a moan, whole body twitching as Simon tapped his finger against the spot again and again.
“So responsive,” Simon murmured, resting his cheek against the thigh on his shoulder, “That’s right, show me how good it feels.”
Grace didn’t think he could stop his reactions if he tried. He rocked his hips slightly, testingly taking in more of Simon’s finger. He squeezed and Simon groaned into his thigh. Grabbing the lube, Simon added a generous amount and slipped in a second finger. Grace eagerly accepted, the stretch now welcome and familiar. He rocked his hips against Simon’s hand, angling his body so his fingers hit the same spot.
It was dizzying and Grace could focus on nothing but the euphoria. All his mind could grasp was heat and wet and the electric zap of pleasure zinging over his body. He writhed and rocked, hands clenching in the sheets.
“Ah, Simon! Yes, I- Oh! Ah, yes, please, like that-,” words tumbled out of his mouth, wanton and pleading. He felt unmoored, his body following an instinct all on its own. He’d never felt so aware of his body and so out of control. But there was no fear, no anxiety. Why would there be? Simon was there to catch him.
He slid a third slick finger in and made a scissoring motion, stretching Grace even more. It was maddening. It was heaven. Grace’s cheeks burned and his heart pounded. He held onto Simon, one hand gripping his arm, the other grabbing whatever he could reach. He clawed at his chest, his hips, his shoulders, his hair. It was too much, not enough, everything and he needed more.
“Simon, please, I need-” he broke off with a shudder, hips canting wildly.
“What do you need, Grace? Tell me what you need.” The words felt teasing but Simon’s tone was so sincere.
“You. I need you Simon, please. I-” he panted, falling apart at the seams. “I need you inside me.”
Grace felt a shiver run through Simon’s body at his words, a moan ripped out of him. He gently removed his fingers and untied his pants. Grace feverishly helped him divest of the rest of his clothing. Simon’s cock, hard and thick and tantalizing, bounced against his abdomen. He gave himself a few strokes and it was the hottest thing Grace had seen in years, decades- maybe ever.
He put his hands on Simon’s hips, flicking his eyes up to ask permission. Simon nodded, always understanding Grace in a way that made him feel all fluttery. Wrapping a hand around his length, Grace stroked him. Ever the scientist, he wanted to learn the feel of him, catalogue what made him squirm, mentally document the kind of touch that caused him to moan. He wanted to spend the rest of his life learning Simon, and wanted to give him a fraction of the pleasure he had received.
“Grace,” Simon groaned and god did he adore the way his name sounded on Simon’s tongue. His breathing quickened and he pressed his forehead against Grace’s, wrapping his hand in his hair. Grace’s touch became bolder, stroking and twisting, playing with softer and harder pressure. He could stay like this forever, he thought. Just the two of them, doing the most human thing in the world.
“Grace, wait-stop,” Simon slowed Grace, pausing him with a hand on his wrist.
“Sorry!” Grace squeaked, “was that- did I do something wrong?”
Simon huffed a short laugh, “No, the opposite. It was getting too good.”
An unexpected sense of pride warmed Grace down to his toes, and he smiled broadly. Simon gave a wry smile in return before pulling him in for a crushing kiss, distracting Grace quite effectively. This kiss was messy, their tongues laving and savoring. It was devastating in the most perfect way and soon Grace was panting with need.
Simon draped himself over Grace, leaning on his arm for support as he kissed every inch he could reach. He nipped at Grace’s neck, his collar, his ear, before devouring his lips once again. He settled himself between Grace’s open thighs and the head of his cock nestled against Grace’s ass. He couldn’t stand it any longer.
“Simon, I’m ready. Please, I need you.” Grace didn’t care that he was practically begging. His mind was too clouded to care about anything other than getting Simon’s rock hard dick inside of him.
“I’m here, I’ve got you.” Simon hummed and the utter truth of the words struck Grace with a profound clarity. He trusted Simon wholeheartedly to be there, to catch him. Because Simon was comfort. He was safety and warmth and acceptance. He was home.
Sitting back on his knees, Simon applied ample amounts of lube to his cock before lining himself up with Grace’s entrance. His dark brown eyes locked on to Grace’s crystal blue. Grace nodded, giving Simon a small smile. Rocking his hips ever so slightly, Simon pushed into Grace. Just a little at first, giving him time to adjust. Simon’s fingers had done a good job of getting him ready, but he still needed a moment to get used to his size. After a few breaths, Grace began to rock his hips, working Simon deeper inch by inch. He clenched and relaxed his muscles and Simon swore, body trembling with the effort to remain still.
Grace felt a rush of pure, unadulterated affection so intense it brought tears to his eyes. The fact that he was here, alive, in the arms of a man so improbable it defied all logic…it was…Grace had never been a religious man, but “miracle” seemed the only word fitting for the wonder that was his life. The thought was all consuming and he held Simon all the tighter for it.
Finally, Simon was seated to the hilt, their hips flush. Grace felt full and warm, Simon inside him and all around him. They locked eyes and he wondered if Simon felt a fraction of what Grace did, or if he was imagining the feelings reflected.
Simon began to grind his hips and Grace had trouble doing much thinking after that.
Clever, observant, resourceful Simon quickly found the spot that made Grace shiver from head to toe. His pace was slow, cautious at first. When it was clear Grace could not only handle more, but hungered for it, he picked up speed.
The slide of his slick cock against stretched muscle, the slap of skin on skin, the deep aching pleasure blooming inside- Grace was overwhelmed in sensation. It was primal, carnal, and Grace was drowning in it. He didn’t know how much more he could take. He never wanted it to stop.
“Yes! Yes, just like that, oh god Simon,” Grace writhed and thrashed as Simon pounded at a relentless pace. Simon groaned out Grace’s name and buried his face in his neck. Grace curled himself around Simon, wrapping his legs around his hip and his arms around his shoulders. Hip to hip, chest to chest, Simon buried deep within him and Grace still wanted more, wanted to eliminate any slip of space between them.
This was bliss. It was divine frenzy. This was so much more than some alien pollen-fueled fuck and Grace wasn’t sure he would be the same after.
Simon’s thrusts started to become more frantic, losing his rhythm as his hips snapped desperately. His breathing became ragged, face and body flushed. The rub of their bodies caused a delicious friction against Grace’s aching cock.
“Grace,” Simon growled, “I- I’m close.”
“Yes,” Grace mewled, rocking his hips to meet Simon thrust for thrust.
“Touch yourself,” he commanded, “Come with me.”
And Grace did just so. Taking himself in hand, his cock was swollen and sensitive and he knew it wouldn’t take much. Within a few strokes he could already feel the pressure swelling, pleasure zipping up and down his spine and settling in his groin. It was growing so fast, taking him so high, it almost scared him. He could tell Simon was close too, his shoulders tensing and hips pounding wildly.
“Grace, I-I’m gonna,” he choked, rasping, “Ryland-”
And that was Grace’s undoing. Hearing his name spill out of Simon’s mouth sent him over the edge. His orgasm ripped through him, body contracting and pulsing as he spilled across his abdomen. It was white hot bliss, ecstasy in a rush of release. He felt Simon shudder and throw his head back, groaning as he came inside Grace. Grace held him as he rode out his own climax, thrusting one final time.
They lie there, gasping and catching their breath. Grace’s mind was blissfully quiet.
Finally, Simon slowly withdrew and Grace felt the sobering cool air rush over his skin. Simon grabbed a rag out of his supply bag and gently cleaned Grace then himself. Tossing the rag aside, he collapsed next to Grace on the bed, both staring at the ceiling.
Something began to ache in Grace’s chest. Right. This was never going to be forever. It was always just a moment. Grace’s eyes stung. And now the moment is over. It was already slipping away, unraveling and he knew better, but he let himself get lost in it and-
“Hey, hey. Are you okay? Is it the pollen?” Simon leaned over and wiped the tears trickling down Grace’s cheek, brows furrowed in worry.
Great, now he was crying after sex too.
“Ye-yeah. I’m fine, I feel a lot better actually, just-I, I just-” He couldn’t find the right words, his thoughts beginning to spiral and tangle.
“Did I hurt you?” Simon asked with such genuine concern and Grace couldn’t have him thinking that, not when he’d just had what was unquestionably the best sex of his life.
“No! No, that was, it was incredible. That’s-that’s the problem,” Grace couldn’t look at Simon, words tumbling now out of his control. “It was amazing and wonderful and it’s over and I have to just keep on living. Things go back to normal except now I know what this would be like and I have to pretend like it wasn’t one of the most significant things that’s ever happened to me and you didn’t sign up for that, you shouldn’t have to deal with that, you were just helping me fix my own stupid mistake but that cat’s out of the bag and I can’t unlearn what I know and-”
“Ryland,” Simon interrupted his hysteric rant, “it meant something to me too. It meant a lot to me, actually.”
“I-oh.” Grace stared at Simon with wide eyes hopeful, “It…did?”
“Yes,” Simon rolled to his side, facing Grace and resting his arm on his waist. “I care about you. It scares me sometimes, how much I care about you. You’re the smartest person I’ve ever met, and unreasonably kind. You saved the goddamn universe. And who am I? Some fuck-up ex-convict who’s only achievement was managing not to die.” He looked at Grace with wonder. “How could I possibly deserve you? Deserve this?”
“Oh, Simon.” Now the tears fell for a different reason. “Of course you deserve this. You deserve so much, much more than what the world gave you.” Grace nuzzled closer, resting his head under Simon’s chin and Simon wrapped him around him.
“Well, I dunno about that. But I do know I’m a selfish bastard. And if you tell me you want more of this…whatever this is, then I’m going to take as much as I can. Whatever you want to give, I want it.”
It was everything he never thought he’d hear, never thought he’d have. Overwhelmed with affection and gratitude, Grace kissed Simon with a watery smile. It was sweet and tender and healing.
“I was worried you didn’t want to do this, didn’t want to be with me like that.” Grace confessed with a soft chuckle.
Simon looked at him incredulously. “Grace, I have thought about fucking you on every surface of this damn planet.”
“Really?” Grace squeaked, ears burning.
Simon gave him a smug smile, “Really. I’ve thought about bending you over the kitchen table, half dressed and spread wide. I pictured sucking you off on the couch while we watched some ridiculous romance movie. When you insist on working and refuse to sleep, I imagine going to the lab and distracting you until you ignore your work in favor of begging to take my cock. Believe me, I have a vivid imagination and plenty of time to think.”
Grace didn’t know what to say and buried himself in Simon’s chest. Simon chuckled, pleased with the effect his words had.
“I want you, Ryland. In every way I can. In any way you’ll have me.” Simon hummed and Grace felt the rumble through his chest. “Next time, let’s skip the alien-death-fuck flowers though.
Grace laughed, heart warm and light. “Agreed.”
A loud beep chimed from the video console outside the room. “Grace Simon done, question? Grace alive question?? Rocky has been patient but taking a long time. Simon need instructions for how to mate, question? Grace, Simon, answer. Statement!”
“We should probably let Rocky know I’m alive.” Grace gave an apologetic smile.
Simon reached for his bag and pulled out his prototype phone, pressing a few buttons before tossing it.
“There. I told Adrian you’re alive and to reign in their mate.” He settled, scooping Grace and cradling him against his chest. “I think we’ve earned some time for ourselves.”
Grace nestled close and closed his eyes, basking in the warmth. Here, light years from Earth and inconceivably alive, he’d finally found peace.