One

HARRIS: Shane? I'm still waiting for your response.

SHANE: Response to what?

HARRIS: I asked everyone to submit songs that make them think of their partner/loved ones for that Valentine's Day playlist post we are working on.

ILYA: Harris

ILYA: My husband does not know music.

SHANE: Shut up.

HAYES: Ah, Shut up by Simple Plan. A Valentines Classic. Very Canadian choice, Hollzy. I approve 👍

HARRIS: Really, any song will do.

SHANE: What song did Ilya pick?

ILYA: Wouldn't you like to know 😉

SHANE: [A YouTube link to the music video for 34 + 35 by Ariana Grande]

WYATT: HOLLZY!

YOUNG: omg

HAAS: 🫣

BOOD: Jesus Christ, Hollzy

HARRIS: 🙅‍♂️NOT SOCIALS APPROPRIATE 🙅‍♂️

HARRIS: Shane..?

LaPOINTE: They're totally boning

HOLMBERG: Get it cap 💀

HAAS: Don't talk about our dads like that!

YOUNG: Hollzy started it 🤷

SHANE: [A YouTube link to the lyrics video for Everywhere, Everything by Noah Kahan]

HARRIS: Oh that's sweet

YOUNG: We're all just gonna move on from

YOUNG: Baby, you might need a seatbelt when I ride it I'ma leave it open like a door, come inside it Even though I'm wifey, you can hit it like a side chick Don't need no side dick, no????????

BOOD: Yes

BARRETT: Yes

CHOUINARD: Yes

HAAS: Yes

SHANE: Yes

HAYES: Yeah

ILYA: No 🥵

Two

PIKE: Shane… buddy

SHANE: What's up, Hayd?

PIKE: [A screenshot from Shane's latest Instagram story showing BTS picture of a disheveled Shane at a photoshoot in a pair of white Calvin Klein boxer briefs – he has a hand in his hair and the other is at his hip, gently pushing down the waist of the underwear.]

JJ: Why are you screenshotting pictures of Shane in his skivvies?

PIKE: [The same picture cropped closer to the hip where Shane is pushing down the waistband, showing the number 81 inked onto Shane’s skin.]

SHANE: Oh.

PIKE: Oh? OH??

SHANE: Yeah, oh. What's the issue?

SHANE: I got a tattoo of my husband's number? Lots of people do it.

JJ: Very WAG coded.

JJ: HAG? HAB? SAP?

SHANE: What would SAP stand for?

JJ: Spouses and Partners

SHANE: Very progressive.

JJ: ✊🏾

PIKE: You got a TATTOO

PIKE: YOU got a tattoo

PIKE: Of Rozanov's number like some kind of BRAND like he OWNS you

SHANE: Yeah 😌.

PIKE: Oh. Ew, Shane.

JJ: AHAHAHA

SHANE: You're making a big deal out of nothing, Hayd. It's a tattoo. I like it. Ilya REALLY likes it. It's hot.

PIKE: 🙉🙈 Shane please!

SHANE: Hayden. I'm autistic, not a prude. My husband and I have sex, big deal.

JJ: CALL TMZ – MARRIED COUPLE GETS FREAKY DETAILS TO FOLLOW

PIKE: I'm going to go bleach my eyes and brain.

SHANE: I'm going to go let Ilya lick my tattoo.

PIKE: SHANE

JJ: 🤣🤣

Three

@puckbuzz 🚨First Husbands of Hockey Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov Spotted Celebrating Massive Win Against LA Kings🚨
[Image 1: Photo from the street showing Shane Hollander following Ilya Rozanov into a busy club. He is wearing a pair of fitted white jeans and a black short sleeved collared shirt– the shoulders, across the front and back are sheer lace. His finger is hooked into the belt loop at the back of Ilya’s jeans.]
[Image 2: Taken from inside the club. Ilya is standing behind Shane on a crowded dance floor, his hand is under Shane’s shirt showing a glimpse of the number 81 on his hip.]
[Image 3: Shane is seen pressing Ilya against a wall in a dim corner. His lips are pressed against the side of Ilya’s neck. Ilya's jeans are open, Shane's hand is shoved inside.]

Hollanov Defense Squad | @shaneoishisnameo
OOHHH MY GODD???

My Shalyas | @rozanderrr
fuck he looks so good??? what the fuck? how does it feel the be gods favorite soldier @rozanov81

It's Hole-Ander | @shaneshole09
Practicing his stick handling skills I see 🧐

LET'S GO VOYAGERS | @montreal4life
This is so disgusting. Who behaves like that in public? Good riddance.

The Cup is OURS | @MakeItMakeCents
Oh boo hoo a grown man is having fun with his husband

Hockey Hussy | @centsandsensibility
Touch grass or something my guy

Mrs. Rozanov | @tocanadawithlove
This your guy?
[A photo of Gilbert Comeau in a booth at a Montreal club with his hand between the legs of a woman who is very much not his wife.]

105 Reasons | @hollanov5ever
Someone save this before Mama Hollander scrubs everything

Game Puck | @passmearoundbois
save it to the google drive!!!! we mustn't lose the sacred texts!

Billy is going to the game! | @hockeyisahelluvadrug
Have we ever seen Shane at a club???? Or looking so GOT DAYUM scrumptious????

Connect The Dots | @shanesfreckles
He was photographed years ago out with Rose Landry but he definitely didn't look like he was having this much fun 👀

Shane Hollander | @Hollander24
Several photos were posted of myself and my husband after a game in LA. While obviously we were in a public space some of these photos are of a private moment, not meant to be shared beyond the two of us. It shouldn't be any concern what happens between two consenting adults in a long term relationship within the confines of their own bedroom…
Shane Hollander | @Hollander24
Or club

Ilya Rozanov | @rozanov81
Or car. Or hotel room. Or pool. Or dock. Or home gym. Or trophy room.

Shane Hollander | @Hollander24
I am going to hit you.

Ilya Rozanov | @rozanov81
See if I let you practice your stick handling skills now 😌

Shane Hollander | @Hollander24
You will if I ask very nicely 😇

Harris Drover | @CentaursComms
🚫🚫🚫

Four

KIP: Hey, Shane?

KIP: Have you checked Instagram?

KYLE: Ohhhh 😳

SHANE: I've been at practice all day. What's going on?

KIP: [A screenshot of a photo that Shane shared before practice. He is in a loose white tank top and sage green mid-thigh shorts. It's a mirror selfie from taken in his bedroom.]

SHANE: What am I looking at?

FABIAN: 🫣🫣

KYLE: [The same photo with bright red, shakily drawn circles. One is drawn around the bed behind Shane where there is obviously a leather cuff attached to the headboard. Another is drawn around Shane's very bruised knees at the bottom of the frame. A final smaller circle is drawn in the reflection, showing a mostly empty bottle of… something on the bedside table.]

KYLE: 👏Bravo Mr. Hollander-Rozanov!👏

SHANE: Oh, my god. Fuck.

KIP: Literally

SHANE: I'm afraid to look at the comments. I should just delete the whole post.

KIP: They are… descriptive.

FABIAN: Let me jot a few down as lyric inspo before you delete!!

SHANE: FABIAN

FABIAN: I'm not the one posting kinky photos on main!

ILYA: Who is doing what now?

SHANE: Nothing! No one is doing anything!

KYLE: Your husband is sharing photos letting the world know that you keep him on a short leash 🤣

SHANE: I don't know what you're talking about. The last photo on my Instagram is from two weeks ago!

KIP: [Shares the same photo as before.]

ILYA: 😈😈

Five

SHANE: What is this chat?

BOOD: There was a discussion happening and some people felt that you needed to be involved.

HAYES: Some people are worried.

SHANE: About what? Why isn't Ilya in this chat?

YOUNG: Is he hurting you, Hollzy? You can tell us.

SHANE: WHAT?!

BOYLE: So much for easing him into the conversation 🤦‍♂️

SHANE: What conversation? What the fuck are you all talking about?

HAAS: We have noticed some… bruises.

BARRETT: Not your typical Hockey related bruises.

SHANE: Oh my god

HOLMBERG: It's not like we were LOOKING when you were changing but man Hollzy some of them are bad

CHOUINARD: Real bad

SHANE: Guys…

BOOD: Look, you don't have to say anything you don't want to but we're here for you. Whatever you need.

SHANE: I need you all to shut the fuck up for a second

SHANE: Ilya isn't hurting me…

SHANE: In a way that I do not like

SHANE: Or specifically asked for.

HAAS: 😳

HAYES: Ohhhhh

YOUNG: Holy shit dude

SHANE: Now, if you'll all excuse me. Ilya is waiting to start our show and is looking very confused.

BOOD: Uh… meeting adjourned?

+1

@puckbuzz 🚨LEAKED PHOTOS FROM GALA AFTER PARTY OF HOLLANDER-ROZANOVS GETTING FRISKY🚨
[Photo 1: Slightly fuzzy photo of Shane and Ilya in very nice tuxes, ties and first few shirt buttons undone leaning close in a dimly lit bar. Their faces are flushed and they are smiling widely at each other.]
[Photo 2: Photo from above – Shane is straddling Ilya’s lap. Ilya has a tight grip of Shane’s tie with one hand, holding him close, and the other grabbing a handful of Shane’s ass.]
[Photo 3: Same angle, but Ilya is looking up, making direct eye contact with the camera. He looks unphased.]
[Photo 4: A screenshot of a since deleted Instagram story from Ilya's account. Shane and Ilya are in bed, Shane's head against Ilya's shoulder - he is fast asleep. There is an angry red ring around the base of Shane's neck, his discarded tie is laying nearby on the covers.]

My Shalyas | @rozanderrr
oh OH OKAY

Connect The Dots | @shanesfreckles
This is a lot to take in all at once

Centurion | @centsofself
THATS WHAT SHANE SAYS HIGH FIVE ✋️

Mrs. Rozanov | @tocanadawithlove
we should not be seeing these 🫣 *quietly saves*

Shane Hollander #1 Fan | @metroboy98
This is so gross. Shane was never like this before Rozanov – what a terrible influence.

It's Hole-Ander | @shaneshole09
Baby. Shane is a grown man with yearning bottom eyes. He's exactly where he wants to be.

Ilya Rozanov | @rozanov81
💯

Shane Hollander | @ShaneHollander24
You're the worst and I hate you

Ilya Rozanov | @rozanov81
No you don't but you like when I pretend I hate you 😘

Shane’s Left Nipple | @leftnipbestnip
OH HOHOHO MY GOD