Chapter Text
Shane wakes up slowly, arms wrapped around a warm presence he instantly identifies as the love of his life. His right arm is tingly with pins and needles from where it sits firmly clutching Ilya, but Shane suspects that Ilya’s left arm will feel similar when he wakes up. They are tangled together tightly. Like a set, Shane thinks do not separate.
There was a story that Yuna used to tell him. About humans with four arms and four legs who got separated and were forced to walk around to find their other half. Shane doesn’t know if he believes in soulmates, but he thinks that he and Ilya look like a four-legged creature like this. Finally finding their other half. Finally whole.
Shane’s eyes flutter closed for a moment as he presses a light kiss to Ilya’s head. When he opens his eyes, the sunlight streaming through the window cuts across Ilya’s face making him seem like he’s glowing. Shane feels himself smiling before he’s aware of it. He looks peaceful like this. Glowing, content, and calm. It’s rare to see Ilya Rozanov so calm. He’s been happy, yes, after he won the cup, and he’s been smug–is usually smug– and he smiles. But Shane has never seen him so peaceful. It’s beautiful. Shane feels his heart swell as he looks at him. His boyfriend. His boyfriend. It feels like too small a title for someone he’s loved since he was eighteen. Maybe he didn’t know it was love then, but it was.
“You are staring,” Ilya states sleepily with his eyes closed, effectively interrupting Shane’s train of thought.
“I’m not staring,” Shane says, like a liar.
“I can feel you staring, Shane,” Ilya says and cracks an eye open and smiles his smug smile when he catches Shane’s eye. “See something you like?”
Shane lets out a small laugh at his antics, and Ilya rewards him by rolling them over so Shane is looking up at him.
“Are you laughing at me, Hollander?” Ilya says. But he’s smiling widely, so it’s really not that intimidating.
“I thought I was Shane, Rozanov,” Shane rolls his eyes. He’s also smiling, though, has been smiling the past two weeks, really, so he’s sure it lacks any of the bite that is present in his usual chirps.
“And I thought I was your boyfriend, but here you are, laughing at me,” Ilya replies. And well, Shane just has to kiss him for that. And then again. And again.
Kissing Ilya has always been one of Shane’s favorite things. Maybe even more than hockey. Well, maybe tied with hockey. Ilya starts smiling into the kiss and it ends up being more breathing in each other's air than kissing. They stay there for a moment, smiling and breathing and in love, before Ilya gives him a short peck and starts kissing down his neck. He bites at a particularly sensitive spot and Shane short-circuits at the thought of his teeth leaving a mark. Yours, yours, yours, he thinks.
“Yes, mine,” Ilya replies. Oh, so then he said that out loud. Ilya kisses him again before lying down and resting his head on Shane’s chest.
“Get off of me,” Shane says, “I need to get up.” Secretly, he wishes Ilya wouldn’t. Wishes he didn’t have to go for a run in the mornings and could stay right here. But he needs to stay in shape for the next season. If he doesn't, who knows what could happen?
“You're so comfy though,” Ilya whines and nuzzles deeper into Shane’s chest. Maybe he will find a way behind my ribs so I can carry him with me forever, Shane thinks. And then reprimands himself because that’s a little fucked up to think.
“I need to go on my run, Ilya c’mon.” He says instead of what he wants to say. Please ask me to stay here, please stay here, and be here when I wake up every morning. Stay. He tries to mentally send to the man lying on his chest. Maybe it works, because Ilya sighs and looks up at him through his lashes. Pleading and very hard to say no to.
"You don't have to go on your run. Shane, мой малыш, ( my baby,) go back to sleep. If you need cardio, I can make it up to you later," Ilya speaks softly, pressing soft kisses to his face and neck as he speaks.
“Maleesh?” Shane tries to repeat, and Ilya smiles at his truly terrible attempt and slowly corrects him until he gets it right. “What does that one mean?”
“I’ll tell you if you go back to sleep.” And Shane sighs a long, drawn-out sigh and reluctantly nods. Ilya makes a pleased hum before settling back down on top of him. Shane’s phone buzzes, and he blindly reaches for it and turns it off, and then brings his arms around Ilya. As he closes his eyes, he faintly thinks he can hear Ilya say “It means baby,” but it gets lost as he drifts to sleep.
Shane wakes up alone. It’s the first thing he registers as he slowly moves around on the bed. He strains his ears a little bit and hears the faint sound of what sounds like music coming from the direction of the kitchen. He slowly makes his way over to find Ilya cutting up fruit and singing to himself. Shane leans against the wall and watches him with a smile.
“I can feel you staring at me,” Ilya says and looks up from where he is currently cutting a kiwi, “always with the staring.”
Shane pushes himself off the wall and leans over the counter to grab a mango from where they sit in a bowl.
“Why are you cutting up fruit? Also, where did you get this?” Shane asks as he steals a kiwi slice that Ilya had just finished cutting. Ilya lightly smacks his hand away, but hands him another one when he bats his eyes at him.
“Well, I wanted to make you something for breakfast, and you won’t eat carbs-”
“I eat carbs-”
“You eat weird carbs. Anyway, you eat your weird, boring food, so I’m making you fruit.” Ilya says and pops a grape into his mouth. Shane looks at him fondly. “What?” Ilya asks after a moment.
“You love me,” Shane says smugly
“Hollander, I thought we established this. Did you get another concussion?” Ilya puts the knife down and tries to reach for Shane’s head, but he bats his boyfriend's hand away.
“No, I know, I just,” Shane trails off for a moment and looks away before continuing, “You’re cutting up fruit because you wanted to make me something in my diet, and I-I didn’t think I’d get to have this. To have someone who loves me like you. To have you at all, I guess. I don’t know, it's stupid.”
“It’s not stupid,” Ilya responds quickly, and Shane smiles before leaning over the counter and kissing him. It’s one of their softer kisses, quick and sweet, and Shane pulls away before it can be anything more than a lazy morning kiss.
“I love you,” He breathes. Ilya goes to respond and is interrupted by a series of loud knocks at his front door.
He looks questioningly at Ilya, who stares blankly at him in return. He slowly crosses to the front door and opens it to reveal a frantic-looking Hayden.
“Shane, thank God, you weren’t picking up any of my calls or texts.” He says and steps into the cottage, toeing his shoes off before turning to face Shane again.
“Yeah, I turned my phone off, sorry,” Shane responds. Hayden nods, but the nervous look that he had on his face when Shane opened the door remains on his face. Suddenly, Hayden’s eyes widen, and he looks up at the ceiling.
“I would ask why, but I get it now,” Hayden says and looks back at Shane, seemingly not meeting his eyes. Shane is very confused and tells Hayden as such. Hayden raises an eyebrow at him.
“I didn’t know Boston Lily was over.” Suddenly, Hayden’s demeanor switches, “Why didn’t you tell me Lily was over! Now I finally get to meet her! Wait, can I meet her? Is she still here?”
Shane’s brain is trying really hard to follow the conversation, but he’s honestly lost. “How do you know that Boston Lily is here?”
Hayden looks pointedly at him for a moment. When that gets no response, he gestures to his neck. Shane blushes and puts a hand to where Ilya was using his neck as a chew toy this morning. This is why they didn’t leave marks during the season. Shane sighs.
“Look, Hayd, the thing about Lily is–” But Hayden ignores him and starts walking into the kitchen, and Shane follows quickly behind him.
“I know you guys had like an off period and then there was Rose Landry, but dude. You can’t tell me you two aren’t anything, I mean you–” Hayden cuts himself off as he walks into the kitchen and spots Ilya, who is still plating fruit, looks up in surprise. “You look like you’ve been mauled by a bear…” Hayden trails off, looking at Ilya and Shane in rapid succession. Ilya smiles.
“Actually, Pike-”
Shane is going to kill him. He cuts him off with a strained “Ilya.” Ilya grins the stupid smirk he does whenever he manages to rile Shane up and puts his hands up in mock surrender. And Hayden’s jaw drops.
“Oh my god, Rozanov is Boston Lily?” Hayden yelps. Ilya gives him a look over his shoulder, it’s a kindness, an ‘I will play this as just friends if you want.’ And the thing is, Shane, does want. He doesn’t want to be walked in on with his boyfriend again. But it’s a little too late for that now. And Shane kind of doesn’t want to hide this from Hayden anymore. Well, he can’t actually hide this from Hayden anymore. Contrary to Ilya’s belief, Hayden is not an idiot. And anyway, Ilya is the love of his life, his boyfriend, his forever. They were going to get introduced eventually.
“Yeah, yeah, he is,” Shane confirms. Ilya’s lips quirk up in a half smile. Hayden processes for a moment, talking to himself.
“I mean, it kind of makes sense, you were always seeing her whenever we played Boston. Lily…Ilya. Oh, that’s not even subtle, am I an idiot?” Hayden pauses for a minute before whirling around to stare at Shane. “Wait, Shane, you're gay?”
Ilya, politely, hides his laugh in his hand as Shane glares at him. He breathes for a minute. If he had a nickel for every time someone walked into his cottage in the past week and saw him and Ilya, he’d have two nickels. Which isn’t a lot, but it’s enough to make him lose his mind a little.
“Yeah, Hayd, I’m gay.” He says and smiles thinly. Hayden groans.
“I can’t believe you’re dating another player. I can’t believe you’re dating Boston Bear. I can’t believe you’re dating Rozanov. Wasn’t there like a nice guy in Montreal?” Hayden groans out. Ilya’s face falls behind where Hayden is standing, and Shane frowns. Why is it that every time someone finds out about him and Ilya, they think he’s an asshole and Shane “deserves better”? Shane doesn’t want to know what better looks like. He already has the best. He has Ilya.
“I don’t know, I didn’t really look. I wanted Rozanov.” Shane responds sharply. Ilya’s face softens, and he shoots a small smile at Shane.
“Sorry, sorry, I’m just processing. It’s Rozanov.” Hayden says, then suddenly, “Oh fuck.”
“What?” Shane and Ilya speak at the same time.
“I messed up. I mean, the reason I came over-” Hayden cuts himself off as he tries to collect his thoughts. Shane stands frozen as a million different scenarios float through his head. Jackie is in the hospital, Hayden is dying, Someone found out about him and Ilya, and now they have to retire from hockey-
Shane feels the spiral cut short as Ilya wraps his arms around his waist. He shoots him a grateful smile and leans his head back to rest on Ilya’s shoulder.
“What happened, Pike?” Ilya says. It’s a little mean and overprotective, but Shane will let it slide for now.
“Fuck I think it’s better if you just read it,” Hayden says and hands over his phone.
Of all the things Shane is expecting, the team group chat is not one of them. It looks like a standard conversation, Drapeau inviting the team over for a barbecue, and people RSVPing. Until someone asks if Shane will be there. Hayden had responded that “Shane’s bf is staying over his phone is probably off.” Followed by several texts of jokes and questions from other players. After a couple of messages, it was clarified that it was a typo. But the damage is done. It appears that no one on the team believes Hayden. One of his biggest secrets has just been outed to his team because of a typo. And now he has to decide what to do.
“Oh fuck.” Shane swears.
“I’m so sorry, Shane,” Hayden rushes out, but Shane shakes his head.
“Just let me fucking think. It was a typo, Jesus Christ,” Shane replies and shrugs Ilya off his shoulder. On one hand, he could deny everything; it was a typo after all. On the other hand, everyone in the chat is already acting like it wasn’t. Shane dreads opening his phone to the texts he knows he has to answer.
“You’re freaking out.” Hayden points out as Shane continues to pace in the kitchen.
“I’m not freaking out.” He argues, and Ilya makes a noise of disagreement.
“You’re kind of freaking out.” Ilya points out, Shane shoots him a glare at his words. Traitor.
“Ok, let’s calm you down. What are five things-”
“Hayden, I will kill you. For the love of God please shut up,” Shane cuts Hayden off and stops pacing, “I’m fine. Everything is fine. This is…like my second worst nightmare, but it will be fine. Fuck.”
“Shane. It will be ok.” Ilya tries to reach for him, but Shane brushes him off.
“This is a fucking nightmare. And I can’t wake up from this one, Ilya. I have to do something.” He reasons and falters. Ilya takes the opportunity to grab Shane and pull him to his chest. Shane sighs and hits his forehead against Ilya’s chest several times. This is the fucking worst.