Chapter Text
Sleep was supposed to be restful. Healing.
It didn’t feel like it to Shi Wudu.
Every night he’d fall asleep rather quickly despite what was probably supposed to happen. Considering all that had happened, he certainly thought he would have trouble sleeping. And sometimes he did, but most nights not.
He was too tired not to sleep.
And after everything, most people had nightmares. But not him.
If he did dream, he didn’t remember it. But maybe that was a product of how little sleep he got each night.
Speaking of which, falling asleep so quickly was a sign of sleep deprivation so that probably explained that.
Shi Wudu still didn’t feel settled.
He never did anymore.
When someone woke up from dreamless sleep, they were usually groggy and confused. But not Shi Wudu. Every morning right at 6:25 he’d open his eyes suddenly as if he was never asleep at all.
He’d stare up at the ceiling tiles above, an unsettled and uncomfortable feeling settling in his chest; a hollowness that never seemed to fade.
He took those 5 minutes before his alarm would go off to breathe, to try and hold back everything and brace himself for what was to come.
Every.
Day.
Today was no different, although maybe it was different in that the blind was a sliver crooked and dawn light, or maybe it was a streetlight, was piercing the darkness, shining light on one pathetic corner of the barren room in which he slept.
It reached the ceiling, the white looking so much brighter when illuminated.
Shi Wudu blinked. Was that a stain, or was the tile always that color?
He didn’t know and honestly, why should he care?
His alarm beeped incessantly amidst his contemplation and after maybe 5 beeps Shi Wudu forced himself upright to shut it off.
He flung the covers off his body and shivered in the cold. He’d turned the heat off ages ago to try and conserve money and the only heater in the house was in Shi Qingxuan’s room.
His bare feet touched the floor and more ice shot through him like an electric shock, but he only sighed.
After a second, he braced himself. He always had to brace himself on mornings like these which were particularly difficult despite the apathy he continued to portray.
He steeled his leg muscles and his heart, he clenched his teeth and rose.
His waist hurt.
God it fucking hurt.
Only the barest of winces gave him away, but no one was there to witness it so it didn’t matter anyways.
He trudged his way to the bathroom, careful to be quiet to not wake Shi Qingxuan. At least, that’s what he told himself. Shi Qingxuan slept like the dead, so maybe Shi Wudu was careful to be quiet for other reasons.
He used the washroom quickly before brushing his teeth. As he stared at himself in the mirror, he looked critically at his appearance. His long black hair was disheveled from sleeping, or maybe from last night’s activities. He didn’t care to analyze that further. His skin, already naturally pale, looked ghostly and gaunt, his cheekbones high and overly defined to such a degree, he honestly was surprised people didn’t cut their fingers when (if) they touched them.
But amidst that snowy expanse were two deep set ocean blue eyes (extremely uncommon for someone of Asian descent), but the dark livid bruises that were his eye bags offset any possible appreciation of his appearance and his eyes especially.
A tinge of red still stained his left cheek where he hadn’t removed the blush fully with a makeup wipe before sleeping despite his attempts, and glitter still clung to his lashes, darkened slightly with the remnants of mascara.
A sudden wave of nausea overtook him and he spit the toothpaste out, gagging all the while.
After taking a breath, Shi Wudu removed a makeup wipe from the drawer to more thoroughly wipe away the evidence. He used the only unused corner of the wipe that bore many uses.
He contemplated throwing it away, but after a quick calculation he knew he couldn’t afford to waste even this and reluctantly shoved it back in the re-sealable packaging.
Shi Wudu turned away from the mirror, refusing to look at his gaunt body and any marks that might’ve remained. He looked at the shower wordlessly, still baring water droplets from previous use.
He knew he shouldn’t, but he needed it. He needed to shower again. If he forwent buying makeup wipes for one more week, he could afford to buy a bottle of three in one shampoo, conditioner, and body wash slightly sooner, so he could have this shower to try and rid himself of the lingering feeling of uncleanliness scratching at him.
Steeling himself once again, he quickly turned on the cold water and plunged himself into the shower.
Certain areas of his body stung where he knew marks would’ve been obvious had he looked, but he was too busy shivering, his teeth chattering, to look, and honestly, the stinging grounded him in the present, not allowing him to get lost in the memories that water always caused him.
With the 3 minute countdown going on in his head, he couldn’t lose his focus or he’d breakdown and not get back up.
He grabbed the bottle of aforementioned shampoo, conditioner, and body wash and used the teaspoon he kept in the shower to measure out the exact amount.
Using his fingers, he massaged it into his scalp before threading his fingers through the knots from scalp to tip, too cold to react to the painful tugging.
Then he gathered up the foam and lathered himself from neck to toes, front and back, with a thin layer, wishing for more, wishing for a heavier layer, and knowing that the cold water wasn’t as effective in cleaning but having no other choice. Heated water was more money.
Then, with near military efficiency, he rinsed himself off, hair and all, before shutting off the water, and stepping out.
It said a lot that the air in the room felt marginally warmer after that frigid shower.
Shi Wudu wiped his body and made a cursory attempt at drying his hair, but his towel was still wet from last night having only gotten in a mere 5 hours before, so it hadn’t fully dried.
With a soundless sigh, he grabbed the elastic band that he kept around his left wrist at night and into his hair.
He tied it in a high ponytail, as tight as he could get it against his scalp, the familiar headache that never went truly away came back in full force as he looped the elastic, long strands of unhealthy hair falling out during the process, the split ends snapping off through his fingers.
He did it all without looking, not wanting to see the bag of bones that he was. His defined ribs and countless scars he didn’t dare touch, lest he feel anything other than numb acceptance.
Shi Wudu gathered his abandoned clothing and slid across the hall back to his room where he folded his sweatpants and sweatshirt, minding the holes to not catch them and tear them further and setting them on the bed for use later that night. He efficiently made his bed before donning a pair of worn jeans and a loose fitting black t-shirt.
It wasn’t that he liked the loose style, it was just that this shirt was the cheapest at the thrift store and only available in a size or two too large for Shi Wudu.
With a careful check to make sure no marks were showing through, he made his way to the kitchen.
It was 6:41. He was a minute behind schedule after that impromptu shower.
Damn it.
Shi Wudu rushed about the kitchen with practiced ease, thoughts spinning.
He pulled out the rice and calculated that he only had enough for the rest of the day until he needed more. Same with eggs. He was out of most things, but he’d already planned the portions and knew he’d have enough until dinner. He’d make sure to go shopping between his shifts.
Of course, he only calculated the needs of Shi Qingxuan. If he included himself, they only had enough stuff for breakfast.
Good thing he wouldn’t be eating it.
When the meal was almost done and Shi Wudu was about to serve up the meal, he froze.
Apparently, he’d been in a daze that morning and failed to consider the extra charge that would be added to the water bill for that extra shower he’d indulged in.
He cursed mentally and calculated quickly. He looked down at the food he’d just plated and sighed.
Would he have to go out again tonight to make up for the deficit?
His stomach clenched uncomfortably, waist throbbing.
He clattered what he’d been holding, a spatula and bowl, down on the counter, and grasped the edge tightly.
Shi Wudu closed his eyes and breathed through his nose.
With a single breath, he locked away all feelings of disgust and reluctance, becoming stoic once again.
He swallowed thickly, his throat dry, but resumed what he was doing, already putting it out of his mind.
He plated everything and then placed a plate overtop to keep the heat in because Shi Qingxuan was not an early bird.
When Shi Wudu would wake up his younger sibling, he was as he’d always been: extremely cold, cruel, and efficient.
He opened the door with a bang, stomped into the room, unplugged the heaters, and stood at the foot of Shi Qingxuan’s bed. Then, he’d wait for the alarm on the nightstand that he’d personally ensured would always go off at 7:15 each morning and that Shi Qingxuan couldn’t turn it off to begin it’s awful noises that signaled time for functioning.
Then, when Shi Qingxuan started fumbling for the snooze button, grumbling and still half asleep, Shi Wudu would state loudly and coldly “Qingxuan. Get up.”
Shi Qingxuan would mumble in their sleep, telling Shi Wudu to “go away. M’sleeping.”
Shi Wudu then unceremoniously pulled the covers off of Shi Qingxuan, folding them in his arms and then throwing them onto the chair that was supposed to be tucked into the small desk in the corner, but almost unfailingly always faced the door as if Shi Qingxuan spun around on it, stood up from it, and then flopped into bed without tucking it in.
Shi Qingxuan shivered, and tried to grab at covers that were no longer there. Shi Wudu emotionlessly watched before striding over to grab Shi Qingxuan by the shoulder and shake them.
“Qingxuan. Get. Up.”
Shi Qingxuan opened their eyes, bleary and sleep addled to look at their brother.
“Mmm, ge~ let me sleep” they whined.
“You have class.”
Shi Qingxuan rubbed a hand across their eyes before squinting over at the alarm that was still. Fucking. Beeping. Before flumping dramatically on the pillow.
“I can skip it.” It didn’t sound true even to their own ears.
Shi Qingxuan chanced a glance at Shi Wudu and winced internally at his dead-faced stare.
“Fine. I’m getting up.”
Shi Wudu left them to it, shutting off the alarm for them. His own ears were ringing because of it.
Shi Wudu proceeded back into the kitchen to prepare a lunch for Shi Qingxuan to take. Although he provided them with money for food, he tried to reduce the amount of money they spent on junk food and instead give them a healthy lunch. It was potentially a pool of money that could be dipped into in emergencies is what Shi Wudu told himself, but he’d never asked for money from that stash even at the lowest of times.
He turned to other methods.
Shi Qingxuan eventually stumbled out from their room and into the bathroom and then from the bathroom back to their room to dress for the day, pulling a sweater over their shoulders as they entered the much colder atmosphere that was the rest of the apartment.
“Ge, why do you like it so cold? Seriously, it’s ridiculous!” Shi Qingxuan complained as they sat down and immediately started eating the meal.
“Don’t talk with your mouth full.” Shi Wudu scolded, ignoring the question.
Shi Qingxuan pouted.
Shi Wudu checked to make sure the subject had been dropped before mentally wiping away sweat.
Shi Wudu truly believed that Shi Qingxuan was smarter than they let on. As such, he had no room to be negligent in his deceptions.
Shi Qingxuan had the grades to do a lot of good things but didn’t care to apply themselves for the most part. It was all well and good to not have too many ambitions but it seemed like they just wanted to waste their life idling along when they’d inevitably need a job and money to do any sort of surviving.
Shi Wudu dragged Shi Qingxuan, screaming tooth and nail, through high school to achieve the best grades they could and get into a choice university and into a program that would secure Shi Qingxuan a successful future.
He did this at the detriment to himself.
Yes he completed his high school diploma, but even then he’d been getting by by the skin of his teeth. He’d worked nights and slept through classes, getting maybe Cs while dedicating all his extra time to teaching Shi Qingxuan the material from a few grades back.
Shi Wudu was paying for the apartment, for food, for the school fees, and was hardly scraping by, just attending the minimum amount of school to finish.
And Shi Qingxuan never noticed.
They were oblivious in some areas.
When both their parents died, Shi Qingxuan didn’t stop to wonder where the funds would come from now.
They didn’t seem to consider that money ran out eventually, and that in truth they had been left so deep in debt, there wasn’t a hope in hell in a million years that they’d be able to escape.
But Shi Wudu took it all on.
Every cent either went to paying for the bare necessities for Shi Qingxuan, or paying back the debt owed to the Tian Wai You Tian* Gang, colloquially called “Heaven” gang or “Tian” gang due to their far reach in the underworld, as if they’d created their own Heaven in the world of drugs.
And drugs were just the surface but it was certainly the most profitable portion.
They were also related to legitimate business, likely as a cover to laundering and other such activities. Shi Wudu didn’t know the specifics, but he realized that his parents had been associated with the gang through their legitimate business.
They’d borrowed money from the gang and were swindled. It hadn’t occurred to them that an underworld gang wasn’t honorable and was scamming them, spinning them perpetually and endlessly into debt that Shi Wudu was still paying off and had hardly made a dent in.
Shi Wudu ruminated for a while, Shi Qingxuan humming and hawing in their usual fashion in an attempt to get anything other than scolding out of their elder brother.
When Shi Wudu finished making their lunch, he packed it and fished around the cupboards for his own small morsel of food that he could eat on his break.
Chatting incessantly, Shi Qingxuan was trying to get any sort of reaction from their brother other than cold indifference, scathing judgement, or bitter silence. Most mornings, they were utterly unsuccessful, but this morning they would certainly regret some things. They didn’t drop the subject of the cold apartment.
“It’s like you’re made of ice. I get dressed and always accidentally put on too many layers because I forget the temperature inside isn’t the same as outside. Can’t we just turn it up a bit?”
Shi Wudu stopped what he was doing, glancing at Shi Qingxuan.
He could tell them the truth. He could share the burden of the debt and how even the heaters using electricity were causing Shi Wudu to struggle with bills.
He could. He could endear himself to his younger sibling. Trust.
He wouldn’t. He wouldn’t dare spread the burden, he kept it all on himself. In fact, the more estranged he was with his sibling the better. That way, Tian Gang wouldn’t target Shi Qingxuan and would keep their focus on Shi Wudu. And Shi Qingxuan would be more likely to move out on their own and abandon Shi Wudu to the burdens he shouldered and sought to protect them from.
Shi Wudu made up his mind and put on his most scathing glare. “If you’re cold, you should be layering up. You should always be layering up. Look at your clothes, too skimpy! You look like a wannabe prostitute. What brother of mine wears such things? Go change! You’re a disgrace to the male gender!”
Shi Qingxuan’s chopsticks clattered to the table, their face outraged and pained in equal measure. Their mouth opened and closed, gaping like a fish before they resolutely closed it and shoved their chair back from the table, intending to get up and leave.
Shi Wudu saw this and felt his stomach sink in shame, but kept up the facade. “Sit down and finish eating. Don’t disrespect me by not finishing your meal.”
Shi Qingxuan certainly wanted to say “you don’t want me to disrespect you but you casually disrespect me?” But they held their tongue. They’ve argued about this before numerous times. It wasn’t worth getting into.
They silently shoveled the remainder of their food in their mouth, barely tasting it or pausing to swallow.
They resented this whole conversation. It wasn’t like they were dressing provocative. They simply had on a shirt that was a bit short. It wasn’t even a crop top, it covered everything except when they lifted their arms. And they were wearing quarter length pants! It only showed ankle! How was that overtly sexual?
It wasn’t and they wanted to argue but knew how unreasonable Shi Wudu was. It was like their elder brother protested for no reason, intentionally being spiteful and hateful.
Whatever. It was too early for this shit. It was time to escape. Maybe they’d be able to catch Xuan-Xiong on their way to school.
They let the sweater fall to the back of their chair and grabbed a jacket to cover up with until they got outside. The sweater didn’t match anyways.
A sense of shame pulsated loudly in his skull. Shi Wudu mentally berated himself but calmly handed them their lunch with an expectant expression.
Shi Qingxuan took it just to prevent an argument.
“Bye.” They said politely but somewhat coldly.
“Mn.” Was Shi Wudu’s low reply.
He watched the door after they’d left, contemplating his actions, flagellating himself but knowing it was for the best.
Shi Wudu eventually stomped back into the washroom and threw on some concealer under his eyes to keep up pretenses of functioning. He grabbed his own worn jacket and shoes held together by wood glue, soles so thin it was only a matter of time before a hole developed, made sure he had his apron and phone, and made his way to his first job.
~~~~~
Shi Wudu would never claim to be into the whole “Starbucks Culture” but he appreciated it silently nonetheless.
He was loathe to admit it, but he had a sweet tooth.
Sue him, he liked decadence. He had a more sophisticated palette than many and he could appreciate the depth of food, but still he loved his sweets in all forms.
But he was rarely able to indulge.
Stepping into the coffee shop, he heard one of his coworkers yell out a rather long-winded drink that was heavily modified with sweeteners and the like and even though it was probably even too sweet for him, Shi Wudu still wished that he was getting that drink.
But he had already checked his tiny coin pouch that he mentally called his “couch change pouch” and knew that there wasn’t nearly enough money in it for anything other than a plain black coffee.
Sure, he could put excessive sugar in it, but if he was going to torture himself with boring disgusting bitter coffee then he was going to go all in on it and drink it fucking black.
But back to the coin pouch for a moment. It wasn’t that the change was found in the couch. No way in hell he’d leave money around his house when he could put it to use, but it was change that he’d found in random places that he’d inconspicuously picked up and saved up for little things.
He was far too prideful to stoop to begging, and he damn well never went and obviously picked up coins; he did it covertly and felt revolted with himself whenever he did it, but sometimes he just needed a damn coffee to get through the day and the budget damn well wouldn’t allow him so couch coin pouch it was.
Shi Wudu wanted to fucking die.
He’d made a name for himself among his coworkers as a quiet and cold man who didn’t like sweets, drank black coffee and talked the absolute bare minimum.
He took orders and made drinks and never made small talk. He was just trying to make it through his shift with as little hassle as possible. Just keep going, he’d tell himself. Just one more hour. Just one more day.
Just just just.
Shi Wudu was fucking tired.
But he just kept going.
After buying his coffee from one of his coworkers, he wrote his name on it and put it behind the counter to begin his shift. The person who had just taken his order went to make a drink and Shi Wudu was forced onto till when a man approached.
The man looked calm and composed and also somehow flustered. He looked overwhelmed with the choices and was constantly looking down at his hands and squinting up at the menu, obviously counting coins.
Shi Wudu looked him over. He didn’t look homeless, but he was definitely not well-off. Despite his long chestnut hair being tied in a small bun at the top of his head, it still looked a little dry, like he wasn’t using the best hair products. His clothes, although formal, were worn down and obviously second hand, as they didn’t fit his slim build as well as it could.
He was a bit shorter than Shi Wudu, but Shi Wudu saw a shadow of himself in the man. Clearly, he was struggling financially. Or maybe he was just projecting. Like hell he’d ask to confirm anyway.
“Uhhhh can I get the smallest and cheapest coffee you have?” The man finally approached the till.
“Cream or sugar?”
“Uhhhh, cream?”
Was that a question?
“Wait! Does it cost extra?” The man asked, flustered.
“No.”
“Oh, okay, then cream please.”
Shi Wudu nodded and tapped on the computer to put it through. He told him the price and the man just barely scraped by the exact amount, but when he did, he looked extremely happy with himself. Shi Wudu resented him just a little for the satisfaction this man had with his pathetic coffee with only cream.
“Name?” He asked, as there was a line up of cups still being processed before this order.
“Xie Lian.” The man stated easily and Shi Wudu wrote it down quickly before going to take the next order.
On and on it went. Take an order, make a drink. Clean this, restock that. On his feet the whole time.
The only benefit he felt there was, were the tips, and even those weren’t always easy to achieve. Oh well.
Shi Wudu didn’t slack in his job despite the feeling that being a barista was beneath him. He knew why he had to do what he was doing and with no extended education he was limited in the jobs he could take.
More than anything though, his jobs made him exhausted. It wasn’t so much physical, although that was certainly part of it, but more so emotionally and socially. Mentally to sum it up.
Shi Wudu was an introvert through and through and recharged away from people and large crowds. Very few were allowed in his space when he needed to recharge and at the moment that circle extended to exactly no one. So he was exhausted to the extreme being surrounded by coworkers and customers and machines and crowds and just everything and constantly being on the go at all times.
To combat this as much as possible, he’d take on the jobs that got him away from people for even a few moments.
Halfway through his shift at one such occasion when he was away from the till and drink making stations and was instead doing some dishes, Shi Wudu was lost in thought, contemplating his budget and recalculating it based on fluctuations he anticipated and coming to the unfortunate conclusion that he’d still have to go out tonight when he caught the trail of particularly melodious laughter.
Shi Wudu dried his hands and turned, looking at the drink making side where he’d heard it and saw one of the newer girls making drinks but ducking her head abashedly.
At the counter stood a man. This man was tall, taller than Shi Wudu for sure. His eyes were small and slanted, light brown from afar, but Shi Wudu believed that they’d have a lot of green flecked throughout up close. His nose was straight and cheeks slim, skin white and smooth except for a few darkened lines around his left temple and above and below the left eye; a scar or birthmark of some kind, but one that accentuated his positive features rather than detracted from them.
He was smiling, and there were tiny crows feet at the edges of his eyes and small dimples around his mouth where he obviously smiled a lot. His hair was just past his shoulders and chocolate brown. He wore casual clothing; dark jeans and a forest colored button up shirt settled on well-defined muscles. Shi Wudu would even argue that the man had one too many buttons undone as the expanse of his chest could be exposed if he leaned down just a touch more.
In conclusion, the man was drop dead gorgeous. Shi Wudu could only scowl, because the other conclusion he had come to was this man was an insatiable flirt and unruly playboy looking for his next roll in the hay with Lu MeiLi, Shi Wudu’s covertly lesbian coworker.
Lu MeiLi didn’t “look” like a lesbian, but that was never a guarantee, especially in places where it wasn’t exactly “legal”. That being said, Shi Wudu had noticed the tiny, inconspicuous pin on her backpack when she’d opened it to grab a notebook while training.
He knew the flags, or as many as he could, and made a mental note of it before minding his own business.
If only Shi Qingxuan could see him now.
Regardless, she was not very open about it, and of the few interactions he’d had with her directly, she was not an overly forceful person.
Playboys never knew when to back off.
Shi Wudu turned on his heel and stomped towards the drink making area. He gently nudged Lu MeiLi away from the drink and read the sleeve, picking up where she’d left off.
“Oh? Where’d she go?” This man immediately sized up Shi Wudu. Then, he shrugged and kept on talking as if Shi Wudu was the girl he’d just been talking to. His voice was lyrical, utterly enchanting despite talking nonsense that went in through one ear and out Shi Wudu’s other. He gave him a quick side eye before finishing the drink in his hands.
Shi Wudu put up a drink and a different customer came and grabbed it, walking out. The man continued to blather on, but Shi Wudu was confident that this next drink was his. He resolutely ignored any allure the man might’ve garnered.
Shi Wudu looked down at the sleeve and contemplated for only a moment before getting to work.
When it came to taking names at a coffee shop, it was difficult to know which character was used considering the extent of overlap that existed in sounds and tones, the variations that can occur while talking, and the importance of context to know the characters, and so often times they just wrote in pinyin or romanized sounds.
While the man continued to loudly talk, lamenting about the quality of his face or something (Shi Wudu wasn’t listening, he could just tell from the tone of voice that this man was flirting in some way), Shi Wudu looked down and saw simply “Pei Ming” in romanized pronunciation, lacking tones at all. Shi Wudu stared for a moment before scribbling with a sharpie the two characters “胚” and “酩” which had the sounds “Pei” and “Ming” but were characters that definitely wouldn’t be used in an actual name. Instead of what was likely a classy name, Shi Wudu called this man an intoxicated embryo, possibly even trying to indicate that he thought this man had fetal alcohol spectrum disorder or something.
Shi Wudu smiled cruelly internally and finished making the drink, slipped the sleeve onto the cup, and spun it so Pei Ming could see as he placed it on the counter.
The flow of words from Pei Ming’s mouth cut off abruptly as he caught sight of the characters written on his coffee. Gobsmacked, he sputtered, and Shi Wudu simply gave a wane smile, all mirth and anger before saying icily “We reserve the right to kick out anyone who is being inconsiderate to staff. Your flirtations are not appreciated nor welcomed. Please leave before I’m forced to bodily remove you for harassment.”
Pei Ming’s mouth stood opened, and he stared intently at Shi Wudu’s blazing eyes, before he abruptly snapped his mouth shut.
He took a step back and made eye contact with Lu MeiLi who he’d originally been “hitting on” and who was staring somewhat dumbfounded-ly between Pei Ming and Shi Wudu.
Pei Ming bowed to her “I’m extremely sorry for making you uncomfortable. It was not my intention, but it happened regardless. Forgive me.”
She sputtered, surprised by this sincere apology. Pei Ming’s gaze returned to Shi Wudu. “You don’t have to remove me, I’ll be going, but I’m sorry for having offended you as well.” He said this, but Shi Wudu could see the small smile on the man’s face even as he bowed to him. Shi Wudu repressed a sneer, knowing this man was an insincere playboy no matter how he looked at him.
Shi Wudu let out a haughty sniff and abruptly turned and walked away, going to help a customer that had arrived at the till. He kept watch on Pei Ming out of the corner of his eye and didn’t let up until the man left, as promised.
Shi Wudu finished taking the order and let Lu MeiLi approach him, thanking him for his help, her tone of voice utterly grateful.
“It’s nothing.” He replied. He ignored her the rest of the day, rebuffing all her attempts at conversation.
When he got off, he snacked on something small. Maybe he could have said what it was if it didn’t all just taste like ashes in his mouth all the damn time, choking it down with a minuscule amount of water before changing out of his apron and putting on a different shirt.
A shirt meant for his other job.
One down, two to go.
~~~~~
Shi Wudu hated to admit it, but he missed the counter.
A counter is a barrier between workers and customers when it comes to being a barista. When it comes to being a waiter though, there is no barrier that you can hide behind. You’re required to go up to the table, the people, and interact with them.
Shi Wudu doesn’t talk much, and when he does, he prefers to be quiet and stern. But if that’s how he acted, he wouldn’t make a lot of tips.
Instead, he’s quiet and slightly less stern.
But back to the counter, at the very least if there was a customer he didn’t want to serve as a barista, he didn’t have to; he could hide and at the very least there was a physical boundary between himself and the other.
But not here. Sure, there was a wall where the waiters went to speak to the kitchen staff and restock stuff, grab waters and bills and such, but he still had to approach the tables.
This was causing a bit of a predicament at the moment.
“I’ll trade you table 4 for table 10” Shi Wudu stated plainly to Liu XianXu, a short thin woman maybe two years younger than him and infinitely more aggressive and assertive to those she “befriended”, every other word some sort of informality or curse, but extremely performative at seduction when interacting with customers, garnering her lots of attention.
She raised an eyebrow at him before leaning out from behind the wall to stare at table 4 that he desperately wanted to pawn off to someone else.
“Table 4 is right in the damn middle of your section. I sure as shit ain’t gonna go out of my way to serve them, no matter how pretty the boy. And it’s just the two of them! Table 10 has 5 people! Way more tips!” She exclaimed, lucky that the wall created some sort of sound barrier so her complaining didn’t reach the ears of any customers.
Shi Wudu sighed. He knew she had a point, but he just really didn’t want to do this.
Because who was at table 4? None other than Pei Ming of course. And a woman. Go figure.
The man he’d insulted at Starbucks? Yeah, he’d somehow managed to find the restaurant that Shi Wudu worked at and brought his date here and sat in Shi Wudu’s section.
Karma was a bitch and Shi Wudu felt himself sink more into despair than before.
If he knew anything, men like this were disgustingly persistent. If he’d been offended this morning, he’d definitely take it out on Shi Wudu still now.
And Shi Wudu hadn’t even realized that the man was well off! He had taken in the clothing but completely missed the branding. It was very obviously designer brands. Even his shoes looked more expensive than Shi Wudu’s microwave. (That thing was falling apart at the seams and only heated certain things halfway through and it was still worth a few hundred (if he’d bought it new and not salvaged it from junk.))
His shoes were polished too. Probably better maintained than Shi Wudu’s microwave too, despite the cleaning he dedicated to the thing.
He was over analyzing things. He was just plain screwed.
And at the very least back at Starbucks he’d been at an advantage where he knew the man’s name and the man didn’t know his. He never wore his name tag; didn’t want his coworkers to call him by his name, let alone strangers.
But as a waiter he had to give out his name. And he couldn’t give a fake one because his name was on the bill.
Fuck. Shi Wudu’s near empty stomach growled in anger and he swallowed.
Well, better get this over with.
Shi Wudu walked towards the table carrying the complimentary water to pour into their glasses. If he was going to be insulted, he might as well go all in.
“Hi. I’m Shi Wudu, I’ll be your server tonight.”
He hadn’t heard what they’d been saying but the conversation between Pei Ming and the woman came to a halt. Pei Ming looked up at him and his eyes widened in recognition.
“It’s you!”
“It’s me. I’m surprised to see you here. I didn’t realize a drunk embryo such as yourself had any higher faculties. Are you following me?”
Pei Ming burst into laughter and the woman covered her mouth with her hand, obviously smiling.
“Ling Wen! This is the barista I told you about!”
The woman, Ling Wen, lowered her hand to reveal her smile, lips painted a dusty rose.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you. Shi Wudu was it?”
Shi Wudu willfully didn’t react. Damn he hated being recognized and now this Pei Ming flirt knew his name.
Pei Ming latched onto it. “Shi Wudu huh? Suits you. Say, you think I’m following you? I can guarantee it was a coincidence! But a very good one! I was going to come back to see you tomorrow!” Pei Ming’s eyebrows waggled, sarcastic yet flirtatious and Shi Wudu couldn’t suppress an eye roll.
All in, he reminded himself.
He turned to Ling Wen, “You his date? You know he flirts with everyone he passes by?”
Ling Wen laughed. “I’m aware of his antics. I’m a lesbian though.”
So open about it, Shi Wudu was a little shocked but honestly more impressed. “Oh, lucky you. You don’t have to deal with dating men.”
Ling Wen snorted and Pei Ming looked entirely scandalized, hand going to his heart in mock offense.
“I resent that!” He declared.
Shi Wudu had to fight back a smile, realizing now that he wasn’t entirely correct about Pei Ming. Yes, he was a flirt, but he was also probably just a naturally talkative and funny guy. At least, he was right now. There was a giddiness to him that seemed to have been spurring him on, but he sobered slightly, showing a more serious and down to earth personality and composure as Shi Wudu finally took their order.
Shi Wudu loathed to apologize, but he felt that maybe he was a little too quick to judge Pei Ming. The words were on the tip of his tongue before Pei Ming spoke.
“Sorry about this morning. I was being annoying and disrespectful to you and your coworker. And that was some great retaliation! Really got me. I appreciate you keeping me honest.”
Shi Wudu blinked and met Pei Ming’s eyes.
Shi Wudu was right. Up close, his eyes had spiraling lines of smoke green in his eyes, the brown twinkling with bits of gold where it was exceedingly light. The scar at his left temple was red but didn’t appear painful and made his eyes seem deeper set into his porcelain skin, a touch of wildness to his boyish charms. It also seemed able to be concealed by his bangs if he desired it and it made Shi Wudu feel only more awkward from the apology as he admired the man. He felt transparent; seen in that moment.
Shi Wudu nodded, jotted down their orders, and left.
Conveniently, Liu XianXu returned too.
“See, that wasn’t so bad, was it?”
Shi Wudu’s mouth went dry.
He caught himself on the edge of the pass-through, the heat singeing him slightly but grounding him for the moment.
She’s female.
She’s not him. She’s not them.
She hasn’t touched you.
Liu XianXu can’t hurt you.
He squeezed his eyes shut for a second before reorienting himself and nodding stiffly, ignoring Liu XianXu’s worried questioning as he hustled to get an order out.
He’s too busy for this anyways. And he can’t break down now. Or ever if he could help it.
The rest of his shift went by in a blur, only extremely short moments of interaction between himself, Pei Ming and Ling Wen occurring when they needed drink refills.
Ling Wen paid the bill and left a reasonable tip.
Shi Wudu knew he still had to go out tonight.
Two down, one to go.