Chapter Text
Consciousness slowly began seeping back into Shane’s mind as he felt a warm heat radiating from behind him. His eyes shot open body trying to scramble away from his best friend.
“Fuck Hayd I’m so sorry you had to deal with that–” he says stumbling over words while trying to turn himself around to face the other man.
The Russian accent soothes nerves he didn’t know were on fire, “Shane–” and fuck the care in which those deep blue eyes meet his.
A small “Oh-” is all he can manage to get out.
Ilya makes a small humm of approval before furrowing his brows slightly taking in the sight of him. “Hmm, am better than 15th best Metro yes?”
“You’re such an asshole” he chirps, no real heat behind it.
“Mhm I am your favorite asshole tho yes moy vtoraya polovinka?” Shane felt the heat of blush on his cheeks.
His brain finally began to process what had happened and fuck. He did still owe Hayden an apology. He should have known better, seen his own signs. He thought he could handle it. Up until a few months ago he could handle it.
“Fuck” he mumbles and hands gently come up to cup his cheeks.
“I see the kotenok is awake now, so many thoughts in this head of yours.” His words were laced with concern.
“I’m fine -lya” But he didn’t feel fine. Those dark thoughts were still there lingering under the surface, waiting to reemerge.
“Hm, don’t think so Shanya” his eyes met the careful slavic stare. Watching him to gauge his reaction. Brown slightly glazed eyes met him back before closing again.
“Mhm yes, moy Shanya, moy vtoraya polovinka” his tone came across gentle and cut through his resolve like butter.
Shane was quickly slipping into that heady space. Ilya claiming him was all too much for his fragile brain. His command of mine was all Shane needed to recall the one word he was desprate to remember from his quick Russian language google search.
“Tvoy” Shane said quietly. “All tvoy” all yours. With his quiet declaration he opened his eyes to meet Ilyas. His pupils were blown wide the dom clearly having slipped into his own space from Shane’s words alone.
“I’ve got you now Shanya, Stay. I will be right back.” His body immediately stilled. He knew he could trust Ilya like he trusted the air he breathes. He still whined at the loss of his dom from their his bed. After what feels like an eternity he pads gently back in the room.
“Follow me” The words are said are not quite a command, but still in Ilya’s lower register. Caution written over his face. As they leave the bedroom Shane notices the two matching waters on the coffee table. Beside them sits a Coke for Ilya and a Ginger Ale for him.
His snack cabinet appears to be raided as well as one of every kind of protein bar sits neatly in a row in front of the beverages.
The next thing he notices is one of his pillows is missing, he glances before finding it tucked on the floor neatly wrapped in a soft blanket. His step falters for just a moment, realization hitting him of what his dom has in store for him.
Before Shane can even fully process the meaning and significance of what is about to happen, Ilya turns around. “We do not have to, but I think it may be good for you, da?”
When he remains still, processing the scene around him the thoughts slowly start creeping back, the weight of the situation sitting heavy in his mind.
Kneeling is such an intimate form of submission.
I don’t deserve to submit to him in such a profound way.
Why would he want a broken sub.
Someone who can’t even keep themselves from dropping.
A level 10 sub who isn’t even good with his instincts.
He didn’t let me before why would he want me to now?
Ilya slowly walks toward him and gently cups his cheek, callused thumb rubbing over the line of his freckles. “Shanya, eyes please kotenok”
His eyes regain their focus and shift back to meet Ilyas gaze then settle on his bottom lip.
“Good, very good Shanya. You are in your head yes?” His thumb providing a nice grounding touch he could practically melt into.
Shane nods his head before he can remember Ilya’s preference for verbalizaion. “Mm- yes, thoughts go fast. Not very nice.”
“Do you trust me?” His thumb stilled trying to meet Shane’s eyes.
“Always -lya” The name slightly slurring off his tongue. His brain unsure if he’s dropping or submitting. He always feels so safe with this dom. His subconscious knows that no matter what the man in front of him will take care of him.
“We have not discussed properly da?” His russian was thicker now, but Shane’s understanding never wavered.
“‘M yours sir, please let me be good” Shane wanted to kneel, wanting to be worthy of the man standing in front of him. Ilya gently pressed his thumb into Shane’s cheek. Not enough to cause harm but enough to bring Shane back to himself. The edges of his vision became clearer.
“Are you sure Shanya, tell me your truth” The command was so gentle it felt like cotton wrapping around his brain.
tell me your truth
The words meant more to Shane than he thought. Their past conversation came to the forefront of his hazy mind. ““We will talk yes, but no kneeling yet. Must be your choice, not your subs choice”
Ilya wanted it to be Shane's choice, not the submissive part of him.
It could not have been more than a second passed before the smallest “please” sneaks out of Shane’s mouth, unable to not tell the truth to his dom.
Shanes eyes flutter for a second before locking on the blue ocean in front of him, “ I need you Ilya, please let me do this.” That was all the convincing the Russian needed as he guided Shane over to the couch, taking his place first.
“Such a good boy, telling me what you needed. Thank you Shane.” Ilya relaxed onto the couch with practiced ease, but Shane could tell the guarded Russian still had underlying tension.
It was Shane's turn to reassure him this was what he wanted.
Shane finally let his brain turn off, he knew instinctively what he needed to do to calm his dom.
Shane’s eyes met Ilya's seeking final approval for what he was about to do. The golden curls slowly gave a nod. Blue eyes were drinking him in and he hadn't even moved yet.
In one fluid motion Shane drops to his knees onto the soft plush pillow below him. He sits back gently on his heels and straightens his back. Years of wall sits and yoga training him for this moment. He slightly parts his legs forming a small V-shape before placing his hands face up on his thick muscular thighs.
“Shanya, you are beautiful” his eyes wandered over his body, flickering back and forth from his palms to appreciating his position.
The killing blow came when Shane bowed his head and turned to bare his neck.
“Good boy, such a good boy Shanya” Ilya's voice broke. His boy, his Shanye was giving him the most intimate gesture a sub could. The trust Shane had in him spoke no bounds.
His eyes were still down but he could feel the warmth radiating from Ilya's legs. “Thank you sir.”
Shane was unsure of what to do next so he just sat while the man in front of him drank him in.
His normally racing thoughts had slowed considerably, the cold dark edges had quickly been replaced by warm sugary feelings. He felt like he had stepped out into the sun on the first warm spring day, reveling in the attention his dom was giving him. A few seconds or maybe minutes later his next direction comes.
“Focus on me.” His eyes flickered up slowly as he struggled to refocus his blurry eyes.
“Want you to relax, settle, get comfortable” Shane felt a warm hand settle at the nape of his back.
The commands rippled through him overwhelming his nervous system. He wanted to obey, to be good for Ilya, so he was. He relaxed his stance and trusted the man in front of him. His head was guided slowly down until his forehead rested on Ilya's warm inner thigh.
The way Ilya's legs held his shoulders in place just felt right. It was the perfect amount of pressure squeezing on his shoulders. He hadn't realized how much tension he was holding until his shoulders slowly lowered down into a much more relaxed position.
The weighty hand on his head gently guided him downward until Shane was all but slumped over in-between his doms' warm thighs. Everything about it was just right, the warmth, the pressure, and even the scent, it smelled like pure Ilya.
All Shane could focus on was the warmth radiating off of him. He looked up at Ilya, his own eyes glassy, pupils completely blown. Shane was floating, soaring high up and he knew Ilya would keep him tethered, not letting him go too far.
A smile crept across his face at the thought of his dom holding him down to earth.
A hand came to rest on his head gently scratching small circles. Shane didn't think he could be more relaxed than he was at that moment. “How do you feel moy vtoraya polovinka?” Ilya asked like he didn’t already know the answer.
“M-soo good -lya, ffel s’good ser.” The thighs around him tensed slightly at his last slurred words. The hand in his hair momentarily stopping his winding motion. Shane let out an honest to god whimper at the brief loss, before it quickly began again.
“You will kill me Shanya” Ilya whispers.
Shane’s head refuses to move from its comfortable position between the man’s thighs so he looks up with just his eyes before asking, “ser? Did i do smthng wrong?”
“Nono moy vtoraya polovinka, you are perfect for me. My good boy, my best boy Shanya”
The praise shot thorugh him like a pure light beam, radtiating warmth through his whole body. He felt feather light for the first time in his life. Everything goes all fuzzy and warm around the edges, nothing like what he was feeling earlier and he allows himself to just float.
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Ilya was content to let his sub float for as long as he wanted. The day had obviously been hard on him. But he had been so good for his ser. He allowed Pike to care for him, allowed Ilya to bring him up from his drop, only to want to go into his subspace.
He noticed the demeanor shift in Shane the moment he recognized it was Ilya comforting him and not 15th best metro. He had immediately relaxed into his arms. The poor boy still held so much tension from his drop.
Ilya knew they were soulmates but why would the sub want to kneel for him? Kneeling was so intimate, he wanted Shane to choose when he did it. He didn’t want Shane to feel like he had to kneel just because that was what subs did.
But fuck. Shane gave it so freely, Ilya knew he had to cherish the gift he had been given. For Shane to kneel, to call him yours in his own language. Fuck to even call him ser. Shane really was trying to brake his resolve. To test every single ounce of self-restraint he had. Ilya would be good for Shane. He refused to be like his father.
Hence the sub laying gently at his feet, not an ounce of sexual tension hung between them. They both knew what they needed was a non-sexual scene, and Shane felt comfortable enough with him to kneel for him. To kneel and fucking fall asleep because of how at peace he was.
How was Ilya supposed to bring him up when he looked like bliss incarnate?
He logically knew that after the last hour of kneeling Shanes legs must have been sore and in desprate need of a stretch. Any longer and he would worry about affecting his playing. So much to his subs chagrin, it was time to bring him up.
He slowed the movement of his hands in the thick black hair and gave a gentle tug. Just enough to direct Shane’s attention back to him.
“Moy vtoraya polovinka, it is time to get up now” He whispered, afraid of speaking too loudly.
“Mmm- no: He said nuzzling further into his thigh.
Ilya chuckled, hands going down to stoke his cheeks, thumbs sliding gently over his freckles.
“Mhm, moy kotenok is back yes?”
The mumbled groan Shane let out sounded so much like a purr, he took that as a yes.
“Alright Kotenok, you don't have to leave me but you need up off your knees hm?”
More discontented grumbles came from his kitten.
“I lift you up now, yes Shanya?”
“M- s’ok” Shane's head nodded slowly. As Ilya's hands gently traced downwards until they reached under his arms. Ilya carefully pulled all 200lbs of limp hockey player up onto him. He gently moved his legs off to one side and Shane's arms immediately enveloped him around Ilya.
Ilya began a slow massage of Shane's legs, letting him slowly come back into himself.
“You were so good Shanya, knelt so beautifully for me” Ilya began to murmur sweet praises while gently rubbing his hands up and down Shane's thighs and calves. The man melted into him relaxing again.
Finally after Ilya finished his massage and was just gently tracing his fingers on Shane's thighs his eyes finally opened to meet Ilyas.
He was met with unfocused milk chocolate brown eyes, his pupils only slightly dilated and glazed. Finally on the edges of coming out of subspace.
After a few moments, Shane rests his forehead on Ilya's chest and finally speaks, more coherently than he’s been in hours.“Does this make me weak?” Shane asks, barely a murmur. Like the weight of his words were too much to bear. “To want like this?”
“No moy soul it makes you so incredibly brave.” Ilya paused for a moment, collecting his next words very carefully. Shane pressed his “It is hard to release control yes” Shane nodded softly into the larger man’s soft chest.
“Then you are very brave. You are never weak for telling me what you need, okay kotoyk?”
Shane’s eyes remained closed, unshed tears glistening on his water line. His breath hitched and faltered momentarily. Ilya noticed, of course he did. He shifted Shane back onto his lap in a straddling position so he could hold his face in his hands before speaking again.
“Repeat after me” the insinuation of a command jolted something in Shane and it felt his mind snap back from the fuzzy blackness threatening his vision again. “I am brave”
“I am brave”
“I will tell my Ser when I need him” Shane let out a shaky breath before the words left his mouth.
“I will tell my Ser when I need him”
“I can trust my ser to do the same” Shane’s head tilted in confusion
“I can trust my ser to do the same?” Confusion written all over his face.
“You do not need to repeat this part” Shane nodded once in understanding. “There may be days when I need you too. I feel it in here” Ilya lifted his palm and placed it against his heart. Shane felt the steady beating underneath the warm skin.
“You were brave for me, now I will be brave for you.” Ilya gave his hand a reassuring squeeze. “Sometimes, I think I am like my mama. Is no one's fault, but it's depression. My mama died when I was twelve, suppressant overdose.” Tears gathered in his eyes recalling the memory of his mama.
“She was so brave, Russia was not good for subs. Not good for mama.” As the tears began to flow, Shane brought his hand to wipe them off the pinkening cheeks.
Shane knew no words would change what happened, so he didn't say anything. Instead he took Ilya's hands in his and looked him in his ocean eyes. Still seated on Ilya's lap, he carefully broke eye contact to look down and bare his empty neck.
“Shane–”
“I can be brave for you, for her, your mama.” Neck still bared; he carefully brought Ilya's hands to his neck allowing them to form a pseudo-collar. Ilya's hands closed gently around his neck. Barely any pressure but his hands fit perfectly, wrists sitting on the dips of Shane's clavicle.
Shane spoke in barely above a whisper, “I trust you Ilya.