Chapter Text
Sadness... a feeling that had been present in his mind for the greater part of his life now.
Sad... that's how he felt after he heard that he did not, that he would not manifest a Quirk. Ever since that day, the feeling had been present in his mind, slowly but surely making its way to the front of it, taking every chance it got with Izuku being unsure about himself to make its presence ever so known.
At first it would only creep up once in a while, after having a bad day, with Kacchan telling him he’ll never become a hero and others joining him in his berating on why he was the quirkless, useless Deku.
As a child he did not quite grasp the meaning behind his so-called “best friend’s” comments, but as he got older, smarter he eventually did...
It took quite a toll on his self-esteem, having his , well former, best friend turn against him just because he was not fortunate enought to be blessed like him. It left more space for feeling of sadness and dissapointment that followed the betrayal to settle in front of his mind, though he would manage it pretty well, focusing on the things he enjoyed and his mother who always supported him.
That is until he couldn't.
The day everything changed for the worst, even though blurry, still remained in his mind. He was just on his way home from school, making a quick stop at the store for a new notebook, since the last one had been blown up by a certain classmate.... . Izuku was just at the checkout when he heard the sirens rush past the outside of the store. At the time he had not thought about where they were going but instead was interested in who was fighting whom, as he thought there was a villain attack somewhere. Maybe he would see one of the newly debuted heroes on sc
Oh how wrong he was.
As he exited the store, he could smell a faint trace of a fire in the air. he shuddered, memories clinging to his mind. Deciding it was best he'd go home to not be involved, taking a shortcut through the towering buildings, pondering what would be for dinner. Maybe his mom would make katsudon, hers was the best afterall!
Turning the final corner towards his apartment building, his blood ran cold as the faint smell of smoke that had only gotten stronger over his walk hit its high. Flames were towering over the already tall building he’d called a home, black smoke emerging out of every possible window mixed with the flickering and crackling of the flames. The image made hime sick. That's when Izuku's eyes darted to where his and his mom’s apartment was supposed to be... it had already been swallowed by the raging fire, some parts of it already falling in on itself as the flame licks away at the support beams.
Even in this grim moment a small shimmer of hope started flickering in him as he darted towards the paramedics and scattered heroes, hoping his mom was already under the rescued residents.
“Excuse me have you seen my mom?”, he asked one of the less busy looking people, ”She’s about this tall has, has green eyes and hair and...., and she should be wearing a pink overall!”. His voice was getting more desperate as he tried to remember every details he knows about his mom. The black-haired woman looking up to him answered, “I don’t know kid , sorry i’ve only been stationed here and i haven’t seen her.. but you could ask around a bit more? Maybe one of my colleagues or one of the pro’s has seen her?”. Izuku was tearing up as he rushed to every person that remotely looked like they where there to help asking for his mother over, and over, and over again only to be left with the same answer, no one had seen her.
After finishing his desperate attempt of finding his beloved mom he decided to wait, maybe she would be escorted out of the building any moment now, having fallen behind helping someone.
He watched as families reunited right in front of him, jolting up everytime someone new was hurried out the building, more lively people slowly turning to more injured ones and quickly transitioning to bodies. He dreaded what was comming, hanging onto hope even until the last moment.
The fire had died down by now, leaving his childhood home charred behind. The authorities still buzzing infront of him, interrogating people on what they had seen or if they’ve been there when the fire started, asking if they missed anyone from the apartment buildings. It was a suspected villain attack, a serial arsonist has been running around for a few weeks now.
Izuku was one of the interviewed people.
He did not remember what he said or to who he spoke. He asked about his mom, his sweet, kind, caring mother.
Even now no one had seen her, no hero nor anyone else.
He was spiraling, theories on how his mom had made it out, how she was hurt but alive and , how she died all popping into his head.
Tears had slowly started dripping down his face again as he bit down on his lip, now sitting on the curb belonging to the street infront of his home. He was suprisingly grateful for the blanket given to him by the paramedic that remembered him from when he first arrived, as it made him at least somewhat feel as if he didn’t just loose his home, and maybe even more.
A annoyed looking women arrived shortly after the interview, scowling down at izuku. She introduced herself as his caseworker Miss Takahashi. She told him what would happen now, how he’d be placed into a group home due to no family wanting to forster, let alone adopt a quirkless like him.
He did not remember on how he got into the car belonging to the mother of his childhood friend after, or how he got onto their couch. What he did remember was the pissed look from katsuki and the pity in his parents eyes.
As the next morning started he got hauled into their car and arrived at a police station not much later, Miss Takahashi already standing there, the scowl replaced with what he could only descirbe as a “customer service smile”. Izuku didn’t care though, he was staring at the ground below the chair he was just placed in, ears ringing and vision out of focus.
She had died.
His mom...
She was gone.
Deep down he knew the moment he saw his home going up in flames, hell his realisation only depened when Miss Takahashi showed up, but as soon as the news had made it into his brain he just... stopped. He was staring blankly, unlooking.
Tears did not fall, not this time. Izuku tried to focus on what the Person behind the counter was saying, but ultimately just couldn't, but he should have as he watched Mitsuki go home, telling him to call if anything happened, giving him a small sypathetic smil while leaving him at the police station, alone with Miss Takahashi who now dragged him to her car, driving him to his new, lonely home.
Yes, that was the day his world crumbled, leaving him alone, numbing his mind. He had been put in a program for teens, giving him a place to stay and a monthly allowance. That was the glorified version at least. Due to him having no remaining family members to rely on and no one wanting to forster him he got discarded to a shabby looking apartmentbuilding with just barely enough allowance to not choose between school supplies and food.
It had been hard ,he is on month three of him trying to stick to his normal routine, except there was always something missing. He had been keeping his mind occupied in various ways, his analysis of heroes and his newly found love for parkour (along with a vast range of cuts and buises from failing said new found hobby) giving him a sense of comfort. But today was the day that just... pushed him over the edge, literally.
Katsuki had a bad day, he could tell by how his shoulder was littered with burns, smelling his own smoldering flesh mix with the uncomfortably sweet scent of caramel. He tried not to turn over and revisit his breakfast as he pushed back the pictures of the burning building his mother was now forever trapped in.
Katsuki didn’t care that Izuku had lost his mother, he was just one of the more annoying extras to him. Instead of caring for him, taking pity on him,he encouraged the others to pick on him more.
Lunch break had been bad, leaving his body aching, but Izuku knew that the end of class would be even worse. He was right.
As soon as the bell rang he tried darting out of the room onyl to get tripped by one of the boys in his class, making basically everyone snicker at him as he landed face first.
He didn’t even try to soften his fall with his arms, they would get him either way. And so katsuki did, stepped hard on his back, making Izuku exhale sharply whinzing under the pessure. “Don’t you dare try for UA” , Kazuki hissed, “I mean let’s be real, you wouldn’t make it even if you tried, Deku.”. The circle of clasmates that formed around him sneered at Izuku, who just wished to be swallowed whole by the ground beneath him. Yeah, they talked about highschool and where they were applying. Izuku had actually shoved the thought of high school to the back of his head, right after his mother had passed away. He didn’t want to remember the way she looked at him with shining eyes as he told her he would be applying. It mad him sad.
A sudden explosion on his shoulder brought him back to the present, his eyes darting to his now sizzling shoulder, as he whinzed in pain. “Are you fucking listening nerd? You’ll never be a Hero!” His whole class laughed as they started kicking and puncing him, using the occasional quirk to make it hurt more. “I mean maybe you should take a swan dive of the roof and hope for a quirk in your next life!” he laughed as they left the room, Izuku still on the floor with a burning pain on both his shoulder and back.
Izuku propped himself up against one of the chairs after making sure his “classmates” were really gone. Eyes looking around the room he realised that they had picked his bag apart, throwing everything on the floor or out of the window. He sighed, picking up his tattered school supplies, checking to see what is missing. He glances out the window finding one of his Hero analysis notebooks in the pond on their schoolground. He fished it out and quickly started making his way “home”.
He walked, absentminded. It took him a second to realise he had followed the route he took before-....., before. Finding himself at a familiar underpass, his notebook still clutched in Izukus hand he moved through, calculating the new route he had to take.
He was lost in thought he didn’t feel the presence forming behind him until it was too late. Slimy tendrils making it’s way up Izkus body, grabing him and pulling him into a larger mass behind him. He panicked, hands clawing at the slime that now is covering both his airways, making him unable to breath.
He could feel it, the life sliping from his body, the way his muscles gave up trying to free him. He didn’thear the voices around him as he slipped into unconsciousness.
It was quiet, Izuku liked it, no expectations, no peering eyes on him, just nothingness. That was until he felt it, a sensation on his cheek,... someone was slapping him?
Izuku opened his eyes, his suroundingd still blurry and his eyes unable to focus properly. Then he saw him, his idol, the hero of heroes the one and only All might standing above him. “Im glad youre okay!”, His Idol exclaimed “ Sorry to get you mixed up in this, i usually don’t make these kind of mistakes” Izukus head was still spinning, trying to comprehend what his idol was saying, something about him being a big help? He squinted at the big figure, about to open his mouth to form a question but was interrupted by the big figure. “ Ahh don’t worry young man! I already sighned your notebook! But i must depart now, my scedule is quite tight you see!”. Izuku blinked, he didn’t even get to ask his question.. “Wait-!” without a second thought Izuku got a hold of the Hero, draging him up into the air with him.
It took the Symbol of piece a second to realise there was some extra weight on him, as he looked down to see Izuku cling onto him tightly. Shoving at the body he tried to get him to let go. Izuku managed to finally get a sentence out”If I.. let go now I’ll.. I’ll die!”
....
“Ah, that’s true” the hero exclaimed, stopping his attempts to push the boy of mid flight, instead grabbing him so he doesn’t fall.
Landind on a nearby rooftop the teen finally let go of the heros leg, trembling as his shaky knees hit the ground and developing in a small coughing fit. Scary, he thought as he tried to stabilize his still shaking legs to prop himslef up.
“If you talk to the people downstairs the’ll surely let you down. Im seriously out of time, so i must really go!”. “Wa-waait!” Izuku managed to say, making the hero not even hesitate in his leaving. “Do you think that i could become a hero, someone like you, even if i don’t have a quirk?” . The Hero paused, just slightly looking back at the lanky kid that just barely managed to get on his feet. “I don’t think being a hero is fit for you, it’s far too dangerous. If you want to help others you could become a police officer instead? Although they’re not out in the field doen’t mean they’re unimportant. It’s probably for the best if you stay out of the whole hero buisness though.” Crouching down the hero jumped, leaving Izuku behind on the rooftop.
A brick. That’s whats Izuku just hit in the face. It’s made out of words he didn’t want to hear, thrown by his all-time idol, the symbol of peace himself. It hurt, it really did, especially right now. Izuku thought he had grown accustomed to the discrimination against “the quirkless”, but this mad him realise it still affected him. He wouldn’t want to admit it though...
With a stiff smile and eyes a little too wide he made his way toward the rooftop door, trying to supress the tears forming in his eyes.
Clink, the door didn’t open.
He tried again, this time with more force.
Clink, the door still stands unmoving.
He stood there for a painfully long time, his hand resting limply the door handle.
It was locked.
“Of course the door to the roof is fucking locked” Izuku muttered to himself, it would be stupid if it weren’t.
A loud bang brought him out of his thoughts as he quickly jolted his head around toward the sound. There must be a villain going rampart by the amount of smoke that is rising through the buildings just a couple streets down. Even if he had wanted to go observe the fight, he wouldn’t be able to since he was stuck on a rooftop, having acess to nothing around him to try and get down using his measly parkour skills. He turned and sat down near the edge, leaning against the railing. Tears had already made their way down his face by now and his shoulders were quivering.
The realisation hit him hard, harder than he would like to admit. His whole life got turned upside down within a couple days, it was painful. His eyes drifted to the skye where they started to follow the clouds move, merge and dissapear. He could hear sirens in the distance by now, and the loud expolsive sounds had stopped a while ago, so he assumed it finally got resolved.
Good for them..., h still had a phantom feeling of sludge slithering down his throat. He shuddered and quickly started coughing again.
After directing his eyes back to the sky and some more staring into it his stomach made a sound to notify him of a lack of food. Eventhough he knew he wouldn’t find food in his backpack he still went through it, laying out his burnt school suplies infont of him. It looked miserable, really. Everything was charred or burnt and his whole bag smelled disgusting, he probably also did, considering the amounts of burns he’d always gotten in school and the sewer smell of the sludge on top of that.
Izuku sighed.
He was tired, so deathly tired. As he sat there, alone on a roof, a thought came to his mind. It’s not the first time this one came to visit him, but it might be the last.
Izuku had been thinking about it for a while now, even more since his mother died, and now he was presented with the perfect opportunity.
So, as the evening sun started to set, Izuku climbed over the railing, holding onto it behind his back. He had his backpack on but not his shoes. He was hoping for a better life in death afterall. He let go of the railing, shifting his bodyweight forward.
As he landed, he didn’t just hit the floor, his neck snapped after hitting the edge of a dumpster, making his consciousness fade, and any thoughts disappear.
An unpleasant smell of rotting garbage mixed with a metallic note entered Izuku's nose, making him jolt awake to a new morning.
...
Wait...new morning? Izuku was puzzled, didn't he die? Looking at the puddle of blood around him, he would think he did, so why didn't he?
His mind was still hazy, unable to piece together the puzzle of why he was alive.
As he recalled the events from the previous day his mood shifted from confused to one that was hard to describe.
A slight panic hit him as he realized the sun was already sitting quite high as he was sitting there, blood puddled around and splashed on him, in an alley, next to a dumpster. What would other people think?
Propping himslef up like a mashine Izuku steps on a piece of glass, cursing as he jumps away from it glaring at hsi now bleeding foot. Distracting himself from the stinging of his foot he quickly goes to assess the damage his attempt had caused.
His backpack was soaked in blood, turning the yellow fabric into an orange looking red. His shoes were missing, of course, since Izuku left them on top of the roof. A large part of his uniform was soaked in his blood, just like the backpack. Luckily his uniform was dark enough to hide the stains. He quickly pulled out his phone to find it still working, even with all the cracks. It was 10 am on a saturday so he didn’t need to come up with an excuse to why he hadn’t made it to class yet. He also doubted any of his so called caretakers wold care if the quirkless kid didn’t show up the day before. He would bet a couple looks because he was wearing a school unfirom on a non-school day though...
As he made his way up the stairs of the building he previously jumped from, he thought... actually, his thoughts had been running wild in his mind since a while ago. How on earth was he still alive? Had someone with a healing quirk randomly healed him? But then again there would be no way that would work... he had felt the life slip from his body as his neck broke, the thought of it alone sent a shiver down his spine as he placed his hand over his neck as he feels a slight rise of the skin on it. He had to check that out later...
As he made his way into the building he hoped someone had unlocked the door by now, he really didn’t want to ask to be let to the roof to retrieve his ratty primordium shoes. Thankfully it was unlocked now.
He opened the door of the roof to, thankfully, see his shoes still on the edge. He was quite relieved to see the red shoes his mother had bought him, eventhough their money was tight, even in their now tattered state he had no choice but to wear them. They were expensive afterall and he was sure he would have to go hungry for at least a month or two to be able to make that purchase.
He jumped as the door to the roof opened, his head jolting in its direction, only to be met with tired eyes. The two of them had a small staring contest before Izuku swiftly slipped on his shoes and running, half bowing, past him.
He feels the odd look. Who wouldn't look at him weird? He was wearing a school uniform on a saturday, on top of a roof, NOT wearing his shoes, with a concerningly stained backpack. He sighed as he caught another glimpse of the stranger. Huh, he looked kinda familiar.
Sprinting down the stairs, he quickly realized how tired he was. He quickly made his way back to the old and run down building harbouring his small apartment.
Arriving back at the building he quickly slips in through the front door, giving a small bow to the receptionist, who gives him a slightly bewildered look, before making his way towards his apartment. Relief settles as he makes it to his door.
After kicking off his shoes and dropping of his backpack in his kitchen sink, he would deal with all that later, Izuku makes an immediate beeline towards his bathroom quickly stripping down his blood soaked clothes and hoping into the shower. He relaxed a bit, warm water running down his face as he closes his eyes. The water in the shower cradled him like a hug, like his mother's hugs. He sighs.
This is crazy, Izuku thought again, how am i even alive? He groans at the unanswered question running his hand over his neck. He freezes at the feeling of a linear bump across it. Right, there was that, he thought.
He quickly got out of the shower and took down the towles he had hung up after moving. He looked to much like his mother, he just couln’t bare looking at himself, at her, but now he had to.
As he steps infront of the mirror his eyes widen. He looked like he had crawled straight out of a horror movies, diluted blood running over his face as it has been washed out of his hair, leaving streaks of the red liquid running down to his feet, splashing the onto the ground, dyeing the white tiles in an almost pink color. He looked pale, deep eye bags hovering underneath his tired eyes. It took him a couple seconds to tear away his eyes from the horrifying image he turns to the side and crooks his head to get a better view of the back of his neck. He freezes as he sees a horizontal pink line across it, just below his hairline, tracing his finger across the slightly raised skin. The scar wasn’t really that noticable due to its placement but it was there.
Izukus heart sank to his feet. Theres a big scar on his neck and he has no idea where it came from. As he searches his brain for memories or hints on where this mysterious scar came from it clicks. He remembers the pain blooming from his neck as he hit the floor. He had been pushing away the memory subconsciously, it made him dizzy, sick even. He had to bace himself on his sink, staring down into it.
He quickly covers the mirror back up, drying himself and makes his way out of the bathroom. Taking out his now slightly stained school books and notebook out of his soiled bag, he sighs once again. Izuku is tired, both mentally and physically so he changes into his pyjama and drags himself into his bed, where he quickly passes out.