Chapter Text
Robert woke up as he usually did, on the floor.
As he groaned and tried to roll over, he found some outlier factors from his normal morning. First, he had a splitting headache. It was not the most unusual thing, but certainly was not pleasant. Second, he seemed to be sopping wet on about half of his body. Third, something was clinging to him.
The events of the night before came flooding back to him, slotting themselves in beside his headache, demanding attention.
The figure that he now recognized as Waterboy was curled into a ball, one arm extended out to wrap around him in something resembling a death grip.
Robert reached for his phone, the light from the screen pulling a groan from him as he squinted at the time.
Shit. They were both well over an hour late to work. He did not have time for anything, no time to manage his headache, no time to have whatever nightmare discussion he and Waterboy needed to have, no time to even dry his hair.
He nudged Waterboy awake, yanking himself out of his grip in the process. He seemed to come to more peacefully than Robert had, reaching out to try and pull Robert back towards him and mumbling something in a state that seemed half between consciousness and unconsciousness.
He didn’t seem to be in pain at least. Maybe his powers helped with hangovers, keeping him better hydrated. Right now, it seemed like the best power Robert had ever heard of.
“We’re late,” he said, and his voice seemed to jolt Waterboy out of whatever hazy state he was in. His eyes fell open and locked with Robert’s, recognition flooding through them.
“We’re-- Oh god. I have an alarm clock, I didn’t even think.”
“Don’t worry about it, I should have set an alarm on my phone. I normally do but I guess I was…distracted.”
Waterboy turned bright red.
But they didn’t have time for that, not right now. Robert swapped out his wet clothes for nearby dry ones, ruffling his hair as best he could to try and make the half of it Waterboy had apparently been rubbing up against look less wet.
For his part, Waterboy seemed ready to go, already in his suit form yesterday. Robert wondered if he ever actually washed it. Maybe the water took care of that for him.
At the very least, no one at SDN would be questioning why his hair was wet. Robert would need to come up with some excuse on the way.
But that was a matter for later. Right now, they just needed to get there.
“Come on,” he said, head nodding towards the door as he tugged his shoes on. “Get moving. You have superheroing to get to.”
Waterboy gave him a little salute before seemingly thinking better of it, looking down at his hand for a moment as if it had betrayed him.
At the very least, they wouldn’t have to do the walk of shame into the office together, with Waterboy seeming more than happy to report to one of his stations within the city once Robert shooed him off. He could cover for the guy. No one really kept track of his squad except him. His lateness would be noted, but he doubted anyone really bothered to check when the Z-Team checked in. It was the least he could do after his behavior last night.
And his behavior last night was awful. He was half glad for the rush that had prevented them from speaking much. At least it gave him more time to figure out how to apologize.
Not that it was helping. No matter how long he spent, thinking and thinking about what he might be able to say, nothing seemed to match the size of the fuck-up. What was he supposed to say? Sorry I stole your first kiss and also sort of your virginity while we were drunk on my floor. There weren’t exactly cards for it.
The day passed by largely uneventfully. He earned a stern look from Blazer at his lateness, one he met with an apologetic grimace, and then they were off to the races. He almost wished it was a busy day. At least that would give him something to take his mind off things. But no, instead there was barely anything to do, and Robert was instead left with an awful headache, overwhelming guilt, and the occasional nervous voice of Waterboy in his ear after he had messed up an anti-bullying rally or trailed behind the heavy hitters at a robbery.
Hearing him almost made it worse. He always sounded so nervous and unsure of himself and yet so eager to help, always trying to do the best he could. It was an amount of bravery he couldn’t help but admire.
The problem was he couldn’t exactly send him out on big important missions so there he was, left either sending him on inconsequential calls that he was free to safely fail or letting him tag along as a spare on bigger calls where he would do very little. He was sure neither was helping to build the man's confidence.
The worst part was, if left alone for too long he’d just decide to go somewhere, set on finding a way to help out. It would be more endearing if it wasn’t messing up jobs.
But in the end, the day passed, even if it was slowly, and Robert found himself eager for escape once more.
He knew he should stay and talk to Waterboy. It was the right thing to do and besides, it was a Friday and if he didn’t, the guilt would eat him alive all weekend. Not that it wouldn’t anyways, but at least this way he could say he tried.
But the thing was, the door was right there, and Waterboy was nowhere to be seen. He could go home and no one would be the wiser. Not a single awkward conversation would need to be had.
He should have learned by now that Waterboy was seemingly habitually attracted to potential awkward situations. The second he stood to leave, he locked eyes with Waterboy, who happily waved at him from the doorway. Robert gave him a smile that he hoped didn’t look too full of dread.
If it did, Waterboy didn’t seem to pick up on it, striding over to Robert whilst beaming back at him. Robert felt his heart melt a little at the sight and wanted to kick himself for almost running.
Waterboy was talking as soon as he was within earshot. “I know we both had to-- I just-- Sorry I had to leave so fast this morning, I don’t-- it felt rude. I should have said thank you or something. Maybe thank you is weird, I don’t know. I should have said something for sure. Even if I don’t know what.”
“Don’t sweat it,” Robert reassured him. “Besides, if anyone should be apologizing, it’s me. We probably shouldn’t talk much about it here,” he said, gesturing around to the mostly empty cubicles around them. “And I’m sure you don’t want to talk about it, but I’m so sorry, I never should have done that.”
His brows furrowed. “Never should have-- with me?”
Robert shook his head immediately and resolutely. “No, not because of you, nothing because of you. You were fine, I was out of line. We were drunk and I’m sure you barely knew what was going on-”
“I knew what was going on,” he protested. “I knew exactly what was going on. I-- You don’t need to worry about that. I’m fine, you-- don’t be sorry. No sorry’s needed.”
“I really do need to worry about it.”
His nose scrunched up a little in displeasure. “You said right-- I mean, what you-- like you said. We shouldn’t talk here. And I was thinking-- wondering-- Maybe, if you aren’t opposed--”
“Come on, spit it out,” Robert said with a chuckle. “I don’t bite.”
“I thought maybe we could get ice cream,” he finally choked out, face red. “We could talk there. And-- or whatever. And-- you know. Like we talked about last night.”
There was no way. The kid had balls, he’d give him that much. He honestly didn’t think he had it in him, but Robert was almost 80% sure he was being propositioned, that Waterboy was trying to communicate that he wanted them to keep hooking up. Which seemed nigh on impossible. If you’d asked Robert five minutes ago, he would have put money down that Waterboy never would have had the confidence to do this.
And yet, there they stood, Waterboy’s face red and his eyes never quite meeting Robert’s, but the question had been asked all the same.
And what was the harm in a little ice cream?
“Alright, why not. I just hope you know a place because I’m not typically an ice cream kind of guy.”
“I do! I mean, I did research so-- Not like, weird research. Just, when I wasn’t busy. Not that I was not working today, I was working as hard as always. Heroes never rest. But also, research, sometimes.”
“You’re fine, kid, do whatever you want when I don’t send you out. God knows everyone else does. At least with you I am mostly certain you won’t do any violent crimes or large scale property destruction and most days, that’s more than enough for me.”
He laughed nervously. “Right. I can meet you there in an hour.”
Robert gave him a confused look. “Are we not just walking there? To talk?”
“I have to stop by home, check in on my grandma. Especially considering-- I don’t know. We might be out late and-- I should just stop by. But I’ll come fast-- walk fast. If that’s okay.”
“Is it okay if you walk fast?”
“No, not that, I-- Okay in an hour?” His nerves only seemed to be increasing as the conversation went on.
Robert threw him a bone. “Sounds fine to me. Text me the name, I’ll meet you there. Now go, tell your Grandma I said hi.”
He nodded resolutely as he walked off and Robert wondered if that meant he would actually tell his Grandma about him. He hoped not.
An hour later, he found himself waiting in an ice cream shop. It was relatively close to his house, probably intentionally, he thought. Waterboy was the type to be considerate like that, to put it closer to Robert’s home and make the trek to make his life a little easier.
Or maybe he just wanted them to be able to make a quick break to his apartment if necessary. He wouldn’t put it past him, not with the unexpected bravery and clear eagerness he’d displayed today.
It didn’t take long for Waterboy to appear. He was nothing if not prompt, rushing through the door like he was convinced he was late, looking around desperately for any sight of Robert.
His clothing choices were far too nice for the establishment he’d chosen. He’d switched from his superhero getup to something closer to traditional work attire, slacks and a white button up. The only remnants of the superhero costume were his goggles, presumably necessary to keep the water out of his eyes. He matched Robert better now, looking like they’d come from the same job instead of one of them being a hero and the other a desk jockey.
The only issue with his outfit was the shirt. It looked almost like something out of a wet tshirt contest, the white button up becoming practically transparent due to Waterboy’s powers.
Robert knew, intellectually, that it was rude to stare but he couldn’t quite seem to help himself, eyes locked on the near transparent shirt as Waterboy approached him.
He seemed to notice Robert's gaze and his eyes drifted downwards, widening as he took in the state of himself. “I-- Oh god. I--There was supposed to be a shirt under-- An undershirt. I was rushing, I must’ve-- Oh god.”
Robert chucked. “And to think, I thought this little show was for me.”
“I--This was not how it was supposed to go.”
“No?” Robert asked, trying to sound closer to encouraging than condescending. “How was it supposed to go? I’m more than happy to start over.”
“Herman,” he said, sticking out his hand.
Robert, who was still using about half his mental capacity to process the sopping wet shirt, looked at him blankly. “What?”
“Herman. My name. Or Herm, usually. Hermy is fine too.”
“What is happening?”
“I just thought you should know. If we’re gonna-- You know. I thought, better get it out of the way.”
“Nice to meet you Herman. I feel bad, I’ve got nothing to reveal. You already know all my secrets.”
“That’s fine. We’re on-- It’s even ground. So. I thought that would be good. A good start.”
Waterboy, or he supposed he was Herman now, insisted on buying him ice cream for reasons Robert couldn’t quite decipher but wasn’t complaining about. It was sweet in the incessant way he always was.
Robert tried to apologize a few more times, tried to make this an honest interaction. Herm stood his ground, stammering out denials and refusals to counter every attempt.
“I’m just saying, it was inappropriate,” Robert said through a mouthful of vanilla ice cream.
“That’s-- I really don’t mind. How-- The inappropriate-- Or, I mean, it being inappropriate.”
Robert snorted. “If I didn't know better, I’d say you’re here to get me in trouble.”
His eyes widened. “I-- Not that. No trouble-- I’m not-- I would never.”
“This is why this is a bad idea, you know. I can’t even do innuendos at you because you’re too fucking sweet to understand them. I’m so going to hell for this.”
“That was a-- Oh,” he said, the tips of his ears tinging red. “I-- right. Innuendo. Got it. I’ll, you know. Be on the lookout.”
This should not be as endearing to Robert as it was. “Right,” he said, a fond smile slipping its way onto his face. “You do that.”
He nodded eagerly, face seeming almost determined. “I will. And you know, if I am that. Trouble, I mean. Maybe I could-- or we should. Um. Hang out.”
Despite the urge to torture Herm a little bit, push him to use his words, he decided to cut him a break. “Yours or mine?” he asked, voice low, and Herm’s face went bright red at his tone.
“I-- Not mine. My grandma is-- It might be a little awkward. I think. If you’re-- If I’m not. You know. Mistaken.”
“You’re not mistaken.”
Robert definitely couldn’t rule out the ice cream shop being near his house for malicious reasons then. He was, however, deeply grateful for it now.
It took them barely ten minutes before they were in his apartment, lips crashing together. He was unsure who started it, just that they were both kissing like they needed it, Roberts hands roaming over him, arms sliding around his waist as Herm pushed back into him, desperate for more.
“Still not taking your virginity here, kid,” he muttered between kisses. “I meant what I said about that bed.”
“I don’t care about the bed.”
“It’s nonnegotiable I’m afraid.
“Then I need to find you a bed.”
He chuckled. “We’ll talk about it. It’s not happening tonight, that’s for sure.”
A small, disgruntled noise escaped Herm before Robert was tugged back into another kiss, head craned up to be able to kiss the man as he towered over him.
Herm’s hips shifted forwards, pushing them flush against each other, clearly seeking friction.
Robert pulled back, denying him what he wanted.
“What, you want me to touch you?” he asked, with half a mind to just palm him through his pants again. This time he could dedicate the image to memory as best he could. The way his drunkenness had clouded over his memories of the night before was a crime.
“Sir, please. I’ll-- Please, I’ll do anything.”
Maybe he was dreaming. There was no way this was really happening.
But he was weak to this, weak to being called sir in that whiny, pleading voice while looking into wide and eager eyes. Robert’s hand was being shoved down Herm’s pants before he knew it as he smashed their mouths together again, lips insistent and pushing to make up for the fact that his hand was otherwise occupied, to make up for the fact that he couldn’t hold him anymore.
He was right about the size of Herm’s dick. It was heavy and thick in his hands, twitching eagerly beneath his palm. Painfully hard already and warm and so inviting under Robert’s fingers.
And then Herm was pulling away from their kiss and bending over himself, a drawn out noise escaping him as he came.
“I’m sorry,” he murmured. “I didn’t-- That was too soon. I’m supposed to take longer.”
Robert fought the urge to tell him that it was hot. It would encourage bad habits, he worried, and it was probably best that he learned not to do this for his future partners. It just displayed a level of desperation that Robert couldn’t help but feel helplessly drawn to.
“Don’t worry about it,” he opted to say instead. “You’re new, it comes with the territory. You need to stop?”
He shook his head steadfastly, looking more confident than Robert had ever seen him before. “I’m not-- I don’t need-- Can I touch you?”
This was such an unbelievably bad idea. “Of course you can. Go on, take what you need.”
He fell to his knees hard, and Robert winced a little at the sound. He’d need to invest in a pillow or something if they were going to keep doing this, it must’ve hurt.
He couldn’t even imagine what Herm might say if anyone asked him about the bruises on his knees.
That thought, and then the rest of his thoughts, were banished from his mind as long, nimble fingers reached for the button on his pants.
Herm pulled him out as fast as he could manage, his eyes widening as he took in Robert’s cock, fingers running lightly over the side of it.
“You’re so-- I-- Please. Oh my god, please.”
“Go on. I told you, take whatever you need,” he said, refusing to push. Not this time, not like this. As much as he wanted to take control, to boss him around, this wasn’t the time for it. Not when this was all so new, not when they had barely spoken about it.
Herm leaned forwards, no sign of apprehension in his face as his lips wrapped around Robert’s cock.
Robert groaned as he took him inside. It was hot and wet, but more than anything the sight of it was what got to him. Herm looked desperate, like he wanted this more than Robert did, more eager to suck cock that he was to be touched.
He was also overeager, trying to sink all the way down as soon as he could. A strangled, choking noise escaped him as he did.
Robert grabbed his hair, pulling him back as gently as he could, Herm’s eyes big and watery as he stared up at him. “Slow down, you don’t need to take so much.”
Herm pulled back slightly, though not off his dick, as if he was worried if he pulled off of it Robert might not let him try again.
He sank down once more, this time shallower, his tongue running along the bottom of his shaft, looking up at Robert for approval as he did.
“There you go,” he said with a groan. “That’s good, that’s perfect. Just like that.”
Waterboy hummed around him, his eyes glassy as he stared up at Robert. The praise seemed to be more than enough to nudge him into motion again, repeating exactly what he’d just done.
He was incredibly perceptive, watching Robert carefully for his reactions, repeating whatever he responded to best. If he hadn’t already known this was his first time with a dick in his mouth, he never would have believed it.
He was still ambitious, trying to get it as deep in his throat as he could, but there was only so much he could do. Every time he’d hit a resistance point and have to pull back, running his tongue along the head as he recovered. Robert had given up on trying to pull him back, letting the man explore and test his limits.
Maybe, if they did this again, he could teach him. Could show him how to take it down all the way, could come down his throat, hands tangled in his hair and nose pressed against his skin as he swallowed it down.
His hips tried to buck at the thought of it and he forced himself to be still, to not push.
Herm whined at it, hands rising to pull at his hips, like he wanted Robert to fuck his throat.
It was too much for him.
“Be careful, I’m going to…” His words were cut off by a groan as Herm sucked one more time before pulling off, mouth opening to say something.
He never found out what he was going to say. Before he could properly warn him, he was coming all over his face. It was horrible etiquette but Robert found himself with no other choice, the orgasm sneaking up on him. He swore he normally lasted longer than this.
Herm froze for a moment before moving to work him through it, his hand pumping steadily up and down Robert’s shaft.
As the waves of his orgasm faded, Robert found Herm looking up at him dazed, face and goggles splattered with cum. He was honestly just glad that his eyes were protected.
He looked so very sweet, sleepy and content in his goggles, tongue swiping out of the corner of his mouth to taste some of the cum splattered across his face.
He muttered, “Wanted to do that for so long,” as Robert got up and went to get a paper towel. He began wetting it in the sink before staring down at it for a second.
“What the fuck am I doing,” he muttered to himself before taking the paper towels over to Waterboy, the water he was producing already helping to clean off his face. As he ran the paper towels over his skin, he was very grateful for the man’s powers.
Even as Robert cleaned him, Herm was clearly falling asleep, eyes drooping and head lulling.
As soon as he was clean, Robert sat on the floor beside him, maneuvering him to get his head in his lap. The makeshift pillow would at least be better than nothing.
Herm muttered out a vague sound of protest and some words that Robert couldn’t make out.
“What was that?” he prompted, running his hands through his hair.
“I’m gonna get you all wet,” Herm muttered, shifting in his lap, though making no move to leave.
“We’re well past that, kid.”
Herm pushed into his hand, a content little hum escaping him. He passed out before long.
Eventually, Robert's legs began to fall asleep and he knew he needed to figure out something better. He pulled his shirt off, wadding it up and maneuvering it under Herm’s head so he could sleep peacefully.
Now able to move, he found some clean laundry he wouldn’t need soon and piled it onto the man, a jacket over his shoulders, a few pajama shirts over his legs. It wasn’t blankets, but it was better than nothing.
It was a sad sight. He had a little extra income now that he was working a real job instead of the thankless job that superheroing was, it was about time he used some of it. He started ordering some stuff, a waterproof floor mattress, a pillow that purported to be waterproof, a blanket that looked warm and heavy. He had no idea if he’d have any chance to use it or not, but he couldn’t do this again, couldn’t leave him on the floor like this.
Better safe than sorry.