Work Text:
“Okay, so you hold it between your teeth,” Quackity said, around the piece of pocky in his mouth. “And the idea is you take tiny nibbles, movin’ up the stick, until—Holy Fucking Shit, Sapnap, again?” He sat back on his bed, removing the cookie stick from his mouth and waving an exasperated hand at his boyfriend. “Do you put anything in your mouth and immediately fucking bite down? How are you gonna suck anybody’s dick?”
At the head of the bed, Karl giggled, looking up from the ‘important business email’ he was drafting on his phone. “Yeah Sapnap, how are you gonna suck anyone’s dick?”
“It’s a pocky, you’re supposed to eat pocky!” Sapnap retorted, cheeks red. He ran a hand over his mouth. “It was fucking—instinct, let me try again.”
“We’ve been trying for an hour, dude,” Quackity told him, in defiance of the actual true nature of linear time. He closed up the cookie box. “You lost your chance, I’m done—woah!” He recoiled exaggeratedly as Sapnap stood up and dropped his pants. “What the fuck?” he said, laughing in exagerated horror.
“What the honk, that was a joke,” Karl contributed after another giggle, grinning delightedly over the edge of his phone. “But you know normally the other person takes their pants off—”
“No, it’s for my punishment, dude,” Sapnap said, shuffling in place to turn his back to Quackity. This put him facing Karl, who waggled his eyebrows at him, cheeks pink. Sapnap covered his crotch with his hands, ears going red. “For ruining the game.”
“Do you want me to spank you?” Quackity said, incredulous. “I’m not fucking spanking you!”
“I ruined the game, it just makes sense—” Sapnap said in what was clearly aiming for a reasonable tone.
“Yeah Big Q, he ruined the game,” Karl chimed in, grinning. “Listen to your boyfriend.”
“I’m not spanking my boyfriend over pocky!” Quackity said, a little louder than usual. “Or at all!”
“Aw, Q, I’m sorry,” Sapnap said, shuffling around again to give him a pleading expression. “Won’t you let me make it up to you? The other thing I could do was play a game of Valorant—”
“How is that fucking making me up to me?” Quackity retorted, outraged. “You’re insane!” He looked at Karl, who was curled up and giggling again. “You’re both fucking insane!”
“I could tell you what happened in the latest episode of One Piece,” Sapnap offered. "Uh, you could tutor me in math and I'd listen?"
“Holy shit, you’re both impossible,” Quackity said. He reached out and swatted a hand across Sapnap’s ass, and then put a hand over his face as Sapnap jumped and Karl whistled approvingly. “It is two o-clock on a fucking Saturday afternoon and my parents could come through that door at any moment.” Quackity said into his hands. “I don’t know why I fucking put up with you. This is the worst six-week anniversary ever.”
“Because you love us,” Karl said, grinning, and then waved a hand as he re-focused on his phone. “Nobody do anything else for five minutes, I need to finish this.”
Sapnap pulled up his pants and sat on the bed next to Quackity. “I am sorry for ruining the game,” he said. “I just really like pocky.”
Quackity batted at him with his hand. “You’re fine. It’s fine. We can just eat it if you want.” He held out the box to his boyfriend with one hand, briefly holding onto his other boyfriend’s ankle with his other hand as Karl poked him with his foot, still focused on his phone. He sighed, smiling at Sapnap. “And sure, catch me up on One Piece. I’m behind.”