Chapter Text
The hardwood floor harbored a familiar morning chill, a sharp contrast to the coffee mug so warm it bordered on burning the tips of my fingers. I began to make my way from the kitchen to my room, clutching the cup in both hands, thankful for its harsh warmth. The T-shirt and underwear weren't doing much to keep me warm, so I decided to raid my closet for something a tad warmer. Placing my mug on a nearby shelf, I make my way into the walk-in closet.
I have accumulated a reasonable amount of clothes over the years, enough to fill my closet. However, with the increase of wanderers and missions, I haven't had much free time. It was the first time in a while that I had even slept in my own bed, the state of my apartment was quite unfortunate. That being, it had been a couple of weeks since I had done laundry, and most of my usual clothes were still unpacked in a suitcase. My eyes scanned the closet, searching for anything casual left to wear. The clothes that did remain in my closet consisted of formal clothes or old clothes I wasn't fond of.
My eyes fell upon a black sleeve peeking out behind a dress, a sleeve that belonged to a sweater I had thought long tucked away. Stepping forward my fingers found the fabric, tears already pricking my eyes. It had been three months since Caleb had died, but those three months healed nothing. I was able to stay busy, with work but, I always felt it in the back of my mind, threatening to crawl its way to the surface. I was able to suppress my emotions often, but in moments like this, completely alone, I found no excuse not to let the tears flow freely. I tug the sweater, revealing the garment that once belonged to Caleb, one of the few things I have left of him. I pull it closer, inhaling the lingering scent, feeling the warm tears slide down my cheeks.
After a brief moment, I collect my thoughts, trying to refold the sweater to return it to its corner in my closet, with it, tucking Caleb back into the corner of my mind. As I move to place the sweater back down I knock into a box, Its contents spilling all over the closet floor.
“Shit!” I yell, crouching to collect the items. I reach for the nearest piece of debris, realizing this is my memory box from high school. Another relic that I wished I had yet to rediscover this morning. Looking around I recognize several discarded photos, awards, notes, and letters, all lost to time. Looking down I inspect the paper in my hands to discover the note I had completely forgotten about.
Dear Caleb,
Please don't make fun of me for this. I've never had the courage to tell you this but it's something I have to get off my chest. I have known you my whole life, you have always been there for me, by my side. Which is why it's so much harder to tell you how I feel. I really like you Caleb, I have for a long time-
The tears begin to blur the rest of the letter, construing the words and shielding me from more heartache. I drop the letter and recollect the sweater, clutching it to my chest, moments away from a breakdown when my phone rings from outside the closet.
Rushing to my feet, I make my way to my phone on the bed, sweater still in hand. The screen illuminates the last name I wanted to see right now.
“Hello?” I say, clutching the phone to my face, trying my best to not sound like a wreck.
“I expected a call from you by now, you're not avoiding me, are you?” Sylus’ deep voice hummed from the other end of the phone.
“No, no, I just, haven't settled back in yet, I'm sorry.” I say, clearing my throat.
“You wound me,” He says, his tone still playful, “but I suppose I can find a way for you to make it up to me.” He says and I can practically hear the smirk on his face. A part of me wished I wasn't so good at hiding my feelings. A part of me wanted to fall into his arms and beg for him to console me. But Sylus and I weren't like that, we aren't even dating, things have just gotten, well, complicated lately.
“And how is that?” I ask, trying to let the distraction take my thoughts anywhere else.
“We can start with lunch, I'm about fifteen minutes from your apartment, I'll pick you up.” He replies, casually.
“What? How come?” I ask.
“Business, sweetheart. Worried I’m keeping tabs on you?” He asks, the playful tone returning once more.
“No, I just-” I scramble, flustered, “I was just wondering!” I supply.
“Mhm,” he purrs, “Well, I'll see you soon, then?” He asks.
“Okay, see you soon.”
Against my better judgment, I slip on Caleb’s sweater. It's a little oversized, but it pairs well with my skirt and tights. I take a final look in the mirror, taking in my appearance. Not bad for having next to nothing to wear. Despite being Caleb’s, the sweater felt like mine. I didn't have much time but I still managed to throw up my hair into a ponytail and put on a bit of makeup, hoping the concealer would cover up any redness from this morning. My phone pings with a notification from Sylus.
“I’m here.”
“coming” I type back quickly, heading for the door.
“Take your time, Sweetheart.”
Sylus is waiting outside his car for me when I make it outside. He is sporting a black button-up, black trousers, and a black jacket that doesn't look particularly warm.
“Do you always dress in preparation for an impromptu funeral?” I tease, adjusting the purse strap on my shoulder.
“Sends a message.” He shrugs, the hint of a smile on his lips.
“Should I be worried?” I ask, meeting his intense gaze. Sylus looks me up and down before supplying a response.
“Maybe.” He smirks, leaning in to take the coat from my arms. Before he retracts he looks me in the eyes, his smirk gone. “Is everything okay?” He asks, his eyes deepening to concern.
“Yeah, why?” I say, mustering as much nonchalance as possible.
“You're not upset about something?” He straightens, reaching for my face gently.
“I'm… just tired, is all.” I lie.
“You can talk to me, if something’s going on, I can help.” He continues, not believing me.
“I-” I fail to find any excuse before the tears find my eyes. I thought I would be able to keep these emotions to myself but after this morning I can’t seem to pull myself together. Before I can continue Sylus pulls me into a hug, his hands finding my back and head. He's holding me like he wants to protect me from whatever is causing this.
“Don't cry.” He whispers. “I don't want you to ruin your makeup.” He pulls me tighter.
“I'm okay, Sylus. I am, I’m sorry. Work has been, stressful and scary and it's bringing up emotions I thought I had dealt with.” I manage, feeling a bit better in his embrace.
“I understand, you don't need to explain yourself, but know I'm here.” He says, pulling back to look over my face.
“Thank you, Sylus.” I nod, smiling.
“Still hungry?” He runs his thumb across my cheek, his eyes flickering to my lips before meeting my gaze again. “We can raincheck if you're not feeling well.” His tone laced with sincerity.
“No, I’m fine. I promise.” I say, smiling. “ Let's go.”
As I take a step towards the passenger side, Sylus grabs me by the waist, pulling me into his chest. He leans down his mouth level with my ears.
“Don't you intend to pay me for coming to pick you up?” He questions, voice dripping with desire.
“How's that?” I reply, fiending innocence.
“Let me show you.”
He takes my lips in his, his hands grabbing my waist fiercely, his hands tangling in my sweater. His kiss is starved as he takes my mouth with his over and over again. When he pulls away he remains composed, while I’m left heart pounding, catching my breath. His grip remains on my sweater. On Caleb’s sweater. I push the thought down faster than it found my mind. Not now. Not right now, please. Before I can compose my thoughts I’m against the car and Sylus is kissing me again, he takes my mouth before moving down to my neck, his jaw making its way down to the collar of Cal- my sweater. His hands find their way under my sweater and make their way up my sides, his fingers lacing around my skin, pulling me closer to him.
“Sylus, I-”
“Sorry.” He cuts me off, stopping. “You're killing me.” He smiles, weakly.
── ࣪˖ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ ──
We have been in the car for around ten minutes. I have no idea where it is we are going, I asked but Sylus insisted it was a surprise. He was being unnaturally quiet, more than usual. I couldn't help but wonder if it was because he thought I was going to tell him to stop. Before my thoughts could spiral any deeper, he cut off my train of thought.
“Can I ask who’s sweater you're wearing?”
I feel my heart sink. There is no way he could've known, I’ve never told him about Caleb.
“How did-?” I begin before cutting myself off. What was I even trying to ask?
“Well, it is more of a men's sweater, I thought. But I could smell the cologne while I was kissing you.” He glances at me, his eyes are far from angry.
“I, um…” I trail off, where do I even begin? “It’s an old friend’s.”
“Oh?” Sylus’ face is full of expectant curiosity, I can only imagine how this looks from his perspective.
“He's gone.” The words fall from my mouth before I can think better of it.
“I- I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry.” Sylus’ eyes full of guilt and pity.
“It's alright, really. I understand the curiosity. I don't mind.” I reassure him, smiling.
Sylus opens his mouth to say something but the ring of my phone cuts him off.
“I have to take this, I'm sorry.” I apologize before accepting the call. “Captain?” I say into the phone, wondering what has happened.
“I'm sorry to call you in, I'm sure you're still recovering from your former mission, but it is urgent. We had an incident I need you to investigate.”
── ࣪˖ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ ──
After Sylus reluctantly dropped me off, I spent the day investigating a lead regarding the cause of the wanderer influx in the area. It had been a long and tiring day, especially after the past week. But I managed to get some intel. It was getting late in the evening so after finishing up a report on the details back at the office, I decided to head home.
Outside the sun had long gone down, it began raining around an hour ago and there was no sign of it letting up. It was too far to walk back, especially in this weather and the trains would stop running soon, it would be impossible to make it. I would have to call a cab.
As I step outside, I make my way down the street, trying my best to stay out of the rain under a shop awning as I punch in the numbers to call a taxi. I move my thumb to press the call button but I’m stopped before I can make contact. Some force keeps my hand completely still, and slowly, the same pressure subduing my hand begins to spread through my whole body. My eyes dart around, searching for someone or something to pinpoint the cause of this.
What the hell is going on?
Before I can process what's happening, a figure emerges from the shadowy alleyway still cloaked by the darkness, I can't make out a face.
“No need to panic, just listen to what I say and everything will be alright, okay? An all too familiar voice reassures me, though in this circumstance it should be a threat.
No, this can't be happening. This can't be happening th-
“What’s wrong, are you scared?” The man asks. This feels like a sick joke, I can't breathe. Before I can gather my thoughts and tell myself it's not him, that he's gone, the figure steps into the dim light from the streetlamp.
“Caleb?” My voice breaks on the question. This can't be real this has to be some kind of trick.
“Did you miss me?” He demands, stepping closer.
It is him, it sounds and looks like him but- but different. He no longer looks warm and familiar but intimidating as hell in a colonel uniform. Those kind eyes I once knew had been replaced with a cold and calculating stare. His apathy to the situation felt like a knife to the heart. Before I could begin to relearn his features and understand his eyes, I felt my vision blur with tears, deluding the scene before me.
“I don't understand, I watched- I watched you die, Caleb! How are you here? Where were you?” I yell, choking on a sob. He reaches out, stroking my cheek and I almost, almost feel like time has undone itself.
“I’m so glad I found you.” He says, but his tone, and face, are devoid of any sense of joy.
“Caleb, please what's happening, I’m scared.” The words rush from my mouth, my eyes pleading with his, looking for any trace of the Caleb I know. For a moment, I catch a flicker of guilt pass his face. But it's quickly replaced with something far more sinister.
“You're still wearing my clothes? How does your little boyfriend feel about that?” He looks almost disgusted with me. I feel my heart sink even deeper.
“What?” I whisper.
“Or are you still telling yourself we are only friends? Don't worry, I intend to rectify that.” He says with a scoff.
“We,” I yell gesturing between us, “aren't anything! In case you forgot you died. I have been mourning you for the past three months, Caleb! What the fuck, I-” I'm cut off by my own sobs.
“Oh I saw how you were grieving, don't worry. I feel terrible for you, truly.” His cold smile devoid of any pity.
“Did you come here to argue with me? Thats it? I- I can't do this, please Caleb please tell me what's going on. I think I'm going crazy.”
“I came here on business. It's time for us to get going now.” Before I can argue, the hand on my face finds my neck. Caleb's fingers coil around my neck, constricting my breathing. Before I can fight, my body is frozen in place by the same pressure as before. Slowly, the world begins to fade between long heavy blinks.
And as much as I hated myself for it, all I could think before I passed out was that I hoped he wouldn't leave me again.
── ࣪˖ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ ──
Slowly, my eyes open to reveal a different location from which I last remember, I jerk out of fear to find my hands and feet bound to the chair I’m on. I scour the room for any clue as to what might be happening or where I am. I didn't recognize anything, the room was dimly lit, making many of the farther corners concealed by shadows. I felt the panic settling in my chest, fear chasing away any rational thoughts I could try to form.
“Caleb?” I call out to the seemingly empty room. My throat was sore and my voice was hoarse from what he…did. “Caleb, please. I'm scared.”
“No need to be frightened.”
“Caleb!?” I call out, looking around to find where his voice was coming from.
“I’m right here, darling.” his voice whispers in my ear, his gloved hands finding my shoulders from behind the chair I was tied to. I flinch at the touch, remembering the last encounter all too vividly. He moves in front of me, pulling up a chair from my left. He sits directly in front of me, taking in how pathetic I must look right now. “Just do as I say, and this will be over with quickly, understand?”