Chapter Text
Something in between that
── ࣪˖ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ ──
My eyes flutter open against the sunlight filtering through the blinds. I blink a few times, instantly greeted with a headache. Caleb’s room was cloaked in dark neutral colors. Besides his black bedding, the room bore greyish walls and floorboards. He gave me his bed to sleep in, saying he planned on taking the guest bedroom.
Rolling over, I grabbed my phone off the floor. Caleb didn't have much furniture or decor, including a nightstand, making the house feel like more of a prop than an actual lived-in home. The odd vacant feeling it supplied didn't help my lingering skepticism, but I did my best to swallow the feeling. My phone displayed several more missed calls and texts from Sylus, a pang of guilt resonating through my chest at the sight. Given the current circumstances, it wasn't the right time to call him. I planned on leaving as soon as I woke up. Rubbing my eyes, I unlock my phone and read the messages.
Sylus 4:32 P.M
Let me treat you to dinner after you get off.
Of your choice, of course.
Sylus 5:57 P.M.
If you're too tired, another time.
Sylus 8:33 P.M.
Are you still at work? It's getting late, make sure you get some rest eventually,
Sylus 10:45 P.M
Is everything okay?
Sylus 1:23 A.M.
Pick up.
Sylus 3:08 A.M.
Im worried.
Sylus 7:01 A.M
Call me.
MISSED CALL(S): Sylus (9)
With each message I read, I feel my heart sink deeper and deeper. He was so worried, did he even sleep? How could I be so careless?
Slowly, I tiptoe over to the door and lock it. I retreat to the corner of the room and press the call button over Sylus’ contact. The phone barely rings once before I hear his voice on the other end.
“Hello?” He asks urgently, his voice dripping with worry.
“It's me.” The shame prevents me from getting any more words out.
“What's going on? Are you alright?”
“Yes, I'm fine. I'm sorry, something…” I trail off, unsure of what excuse I should make up, “something came up. I'm sorry, I didn't have a chance to contact you. I didn't mean to make you worry.”
“Don't apologize, as long as you're safe, it's alright.” He sighs in relief.
“I'm fine.” I murmur.
“What happened?” He asks, still weary.
“Nothing!” I reply, too quickly. “Nothing,” I repeat calmly, “I just ran into an old friend.”
“A friend?”
“Yes, it's my fault for not checking my phone, I got carried away. I was at work so late and after catching up for a bit I passed out shortly after we made it back to his place so-” I ramble on before stopping myself.
“His house?” Sylus questions.
My face heats in embarrassment and shame.
“He's a friend.” I reply defensively, and it almost feels like the truth. But after last night, I don't know.
“Is that what we are?” He scoffs.
“Sylus I-”
“Forget I said it. That was…” he sighs, “I'm sorry. I'm sleep deprived so please forgive me.” His words are apologetic but I can hear the spite in his tone. “I’ll call you later.”
Before I can respond, he's hung up. I rub my eyes, the headache still chipping away at my mind in waves. I unlock the door and head out into the hallway. From down the hall, I can hear the sounds of food sizzling. As I get closer, I'm greeted with the sweet smell of pancake batter.
“Good morning.” He chimes, greeting me with a smile.
“Morning,” I murmur in a half-sigh.
“Didn't sleep well?” He asks, brows furrowing in concern.
“No, It's fine. Just a headache.” I say as he walks towards me, leaning down to search my face.
“I have some medicine, let me finish this and I'll grab it for you.” He smiles, returning to the stove.
“I can grab it, it's alright,” I reply.
“Alright, It's in the bathroom. The one connected to the bedroom, not the one you used.”
“Thanks.” I reply. As I turn away I see Caleb’s mouth twitch in disapproval and I can only wonder what he's thinking about.
The bathroom in his bedroom is even nicer than the one I used. It matches the plain, modern look of every other room in the house. The marble countertop is empty aside from his toothbrush in a holder, some hand soap, and a roll of bandages. I check a small white cabinet next to the sink, it's mostly barren aside from some pill bottles and basic first aid items. I spot the Tylenol and grab it, accidentally bumping into the pill bottle next to it. The bottle tumbles to the floor and I quickly bend down to return it to its rightful place. As I place the bottle back on the shelf, I notice several other bottles prescribed under Caleb’s name. Various painkillers, mood stabilizers, and sleeping medications. My chest tightens, and I take turns inspecting the bottles. They range in capacity from nearly full to almost empty. I'm not sure what kind of things Caleb is dealing with, but this was an abnormal amount of medication. Retrieving the Tylenol, I close the cabinet and turn to head back to the kitchen. To my surprise, Caleb is standing in the doorway. I must have been too busy snooping through his things to even notice his presence.
“You were taking a while so I came to help you look.” He says, his face full of scrutiny.
“Sorry, I didn't mean to.” I stumble over the words.
“Some fell and I was trying to put them back. Beyond that, I was worried and began snooping.
I'm sorry for pushing further, but what do you need all this medication for?’ I take a step forward as I try to explain my intentions. His gaze is fixed on the floor as he remains silent.
“Caleb? Is something wrong? I want to help however I can.” I ask, reaching out for his arm. Before I can make contact, he snatches my wrist, holding my arm mid-air.
“Who were you on the phone with?” He asks, his eyes hollow when he meets my gaze.
“I had to call him back, Caleb. He would have gone looking for me.” I answer.
“And that's the only reason you called him back?” He presses.
“Yes.” I lie.
“But im just “your friend”, that's it?” He scowls, his grip tightening as he pulls me towards him.
“Yes, you're my friend.” I mumble, averting my gaze as he leans in, face all too close to mine.
“Really? Is this how you treat all of your friends? You sit on their lap and wear their clothes?” His tone as bitter as his words.
“You really are something else, you know.” He laughs, almost to himself as he hoists me up in an instant. In seconds he's thrown me onto the bed, pressing his body against my own.
“Fine. Have it your way. We will be friends.” He whispers in my ear, his thigh pressing between my legs.
“I'll be your best fucking friend. And I'll be your only friend.” He pulls back to look me in the eyes as he says it, his body still pressed against mine. His gaze is dark and unyielding as he stares down at me.
My lip trembles as I stare at him silently, unsure of what to say. Despite his irrational actions, I can't bring myself to feel afraid. His eyes are so cold in moments like this, he feels so different.
“What happened to you, Caleb?” The question comes out in a whisper. It snaps him out of his angry trance in an instant, his eyes deepening with sadness. I reach out to touch his face, gently rubbing my thumb against his cheek. He leans into the touch, closing his eyes. His breathing is heavy, and with how close his body is to mine I can feel his rapid pulse.
“You can talk to me.” I continue
“There's nothing to discuss.” He says, pulling back from my hand slightly.
“Please.” I press, grabbing his face between both my hands. “Please, Caleb.”
Before I can continue trying to reason with him, he leans down, pressing his lips against mine. He kisses me cautiously at first, then harder.
“You know you've changed too.” He says, brows furrowing as he pulls back to look me in the eyes again. “You used to rely on me for everything. You were immature and innocent.”
“Sounds like me now.” I laugh. “I’m still immature, maybe it's your fault I act like this.”
“You're not innocent anymore.”
“You're the one throwing me on the bed to kiss me.” I argue
“That doesn't matter. It doesn't count when it's me. When it's us.” He rebuttals, a smirk finding his lips.
“How do you figure that?” I ask.
“Because it's always been us, you know that.”
“Not like this,” I murmur.
He stares down at me silently, his eyes grazing over my skin.
“Do you still want this?” He asks finally.
I nod silently, my lips in a pout.
“Speak up, Pip-squeak.” He taunts, squeezing my cheeks with one hand.
“Yes,” I mumble.
“You have an interesting definition of friendship.” He presses his thigh deeper between my legs. I moan his name softly, unable to form a sentence. Under my shirt, he begins to run his hand up my stomach. His fingers are abnormally cold and hard, it sends a chill up my spine at the contact. His hands continue up my torso, finding the bottom of my breast. I still didn't have my clothes back and I was wearing nothing under his shirt and sweatpants. He sighs breathlessly at the slight contact. His thumb grazing the side of my breast before grabbing it vigorously. My back arches at he contact and I feel something stiffen against my thighs.
“You drive me crazy.” He chokes on the words, out of breath as his heart pounds even faster and harder in his chest, obscuring my own rapid heartbeat. He was a total mess after barely any contact, not that I was much better.
“Your food’s getting cold, let’s go eat.” He says, smiling warmly.
Caleb and I ate our afternoon breakfast entirely in silence. I was unsure of how to break the tension between us. I could feel his lingering anger from our earlier conversation. After breakfast, he refused to let me help clean up.
“Your clothes are clean, they're in the guest room.” Caleb remarks, his warm smile contradicting his apathetic tone.
Awkwardly, I made my way back to the guest bedroom. Yesterday's clothes were folded in a pile on the corner of the neatly made bed. Beside the pile rests a pink makeup bag. I unzip the bag to find it full of products I use, completely brand new. I don't know how he would know what to buy, let alone have the time to go out and get these. I turn over the products, examining each one. He even got the correct shades for everything. I try to replace my skepticism with gratitude, but I can't shake the uncertain feeling in my stomach.
I change and get ready, touching up my face with a bit of makeup in an attempt to conceal the leftover exhaustion from the days before. Before I can make much progress, my phone chimes with a notification.
Tara <3 (1 Message)
I pick up my phone and read the messages.
Tara 1:43 P.M.
ok so i know u have been super out of it lately so why dont we do something fun tonight?? i found this rly cute club i wanna check out and i need backup please please please say yes i promise ill buy u a drink ;)
Before I can think twice, my fingers begin to move on their own, typing out my apologetic rejection. As I finish the text, my thumb hovers over the send button.
By the time I've finished my makeup, my eyes look much brighter and I feel a bit better already. I admire my work in the bathroom mirror before returning the makeup to the bag. As I do, I notice the Dior emblem dangling from the zipper and frown, I can't help but wonder how much money he spent on an untold gesture. A gentle knock on the door steals me from my thoughts. I make my way from the bathroom to the bedroom door. As my fingers find the doorknob, the cool metal sends a sudden rush of nerves down my spine. I can hear his breath hitch, as if he's on the verge of saying something. This moment somehow felt more intimate and honest than anything in the past day. I open the door quickly, better to rip off the bandaid as soon as possible.
“Hi.” I say first, meeting his gaze.
“Hey.” He says a hint of confusion in his voice.
“Thank you for the things.” I continue, trying to conceal my wavering confidence.
“Don't mention it.” Caleb says grinning, his posture visibly loosens.
“Listen, I have plans with my friend tonight so I need to get back home soon,” I say, hurriedly, the anxiety in my tone obvious. In an instant, Caleb’s lighthearted grin is replaced with a look I can describe no other way besides disgust. His body was rigid with anger.
“My friend, Tara, she just wants to grab a drink.” I continue, fear quickening my pulse. “I promise it will be safe and fine.” I finish, my eyes meeting his disdainful gaze. Caleb leans down, bracing against the doorframe, his hand finds my cheek as his thumb grazes my jawline.
“You have too many friends, pipsqueak. When did you get too popular for me?” He rasps, leaning closer, his thumb rubbing over my lips. His rough gesture smears the peach tint from the corner of my mouth. With his gaze still locked on mine, he puts his thumb to his mouth and rubs the tint over his bottom lip. The pigment blends with his bottom lip, barely visible.
“I'll give you a ride to the station.” He says finally before pulling away.
The ride to the station was mostly silent. I can tell Caleb is still angry despite his attempts to hide it. Devoid of that, there is this lingering uncertainty between us. Regardless of how he feels, he still walks me inside to see me off.
“I'll visit you soon.” He says, breaking the silence.
“When?” The question flies from my lips before I know it.
“You'll see me before you know it.” He grins, rustling my hair a bit. “Promise.”
I nod silently, eyes trailing down. As much as I needed a break from everything, I began to regret agreeing to Tara’s plan. Caleb's hands find the corner of my mouth once again, breaking my train of thought.
“Sorry.” He remarks awkwardly. “I smudged your makeup earlier.”
Before I can reply, the bell chimes for the subway to board. I adjust my purse on my shoulder and give a small wave to Caleb before turning and boarding the subway.
It's around 8:30 P.M. when I arrive at the club to meet Tara. After I got home, I spent most of my evening waiting around for tonight. I laid in bed, binge scrolling through various social media apps to distract my brain from thinking about anything. By the time it was 7:30, I realized I had to leave soon and quickly changed into a cuter outfit. I settled on an off the shoulder long sleeve top with a pleated mini-skirt over some sheer tights. I threw my hair into an updo, leaving layers down to frame my face, and threw on an oversized jacket and black knee-high boots on my way out the door.
I stand outside the club awkwardly, adjusting my skirt and bracing against the evening chill. I look around for Tara and decide to head inside and wait for her. I make it to the bar and order a drink before checking my phone. There's a message from Sylus, asking to talk. I type back a message explaining where I was. As I send it, my phone screen displays a call from Tara.
“Hello?” I say, covering my other ear to shield from the loud music.
“Hey…look im so- Wait are you already at the club?” Tara cuts herself off.
“Yeah, I'm inside! Are you close?” I half shout into the phone.
“Shit im so so sorry, something came up and I cant make it tonight I am so sorry to bail on you like this. I wouldn't if it weren't an emergency. I'm so sorry, I promise I will make it up to you.”
“Tara, it's okay, are you alright?”
“Yes, I have to go but I'll call you later, im so sorry.” Before I can reply, the call ends.
As the call screen vanishes, it's replaced again with Sylus’ and my messages.
Sylus 8:46 P.M
I’m coming.
I’m sitting at the bar, sipping a second vodka soda as I wait for Sylus. There are a few different bars throughout the club and since this one was tucked further away into a corner, it seemed to be pretty unoccupied with how busy the club was. Most people were around the dance floor or scattered through the surrounding balconies inside the club. I wondered what the second floor held. I considered leaving to explore when a familiar voice sounds behind me.
“I'll take a Gin on the rocks, top shelf, please.” Sylus’ voice resonates, even over the thrum of the music. The bartender nods and turns to prepare his request.
“You look lovely.” His voice low as he leans closer to sit down. He's sporting his usual black dress shirt and pants, yet he looks more unkempt than usual. His shirt was unbuttoned down to his collarbone and his hair was slightly tousled, covering more of his eyes.
“Thank you.” I murmur, taking a drink to conceal the flush of my cheeks.
“And where is your friend?” Sylus questions.
“She couldn't make it, something came up.”
“Unfortunate.” He remarks before taking out his card, handing it to the bartender who has reappeared with his drink. “You can put all our drinks for the evening on this.” He says, taking a sip of his drink.
“Thanks for coming,” I murmur, stirring the straw around the leftover ice in my drink. The bartender supplies me with another drink before I could even ask. When I look over, Sylus raises an eyebrow at me, reading my expression.
“What's wrong? Do you want to dance?” He asks sincerely.
“Do you even know how to dance?” I laugh taking another long swig of my drink, downing a third of the glass.
“Hmm for you, darling, I’d certainly try.” His lips curl into a smirk.
“I’m dying to see this actually.” I grin before downing the rest of my drink.
Sylus finishes another drink or two before we make our way to the dance floor. It's crowded and loud but we find an area towards the middle of the dancefloor to dance. We dance erratically to the slew of alternative pop songs blasting through the club. I can help but grin like an idiot dancing with Sylus. The alcohol had worked its way through my body and I felt my mood inflate. Sylus moved with the typical grace I had expected. As much as I wanted him to look like an idiot, he probably looked twice as good as I did. He laughs and takes my hand in his, spinning me around a bit. As I spin around, my eyes take in the surroundings, it's hard to make out everything with the dim flashing lights. As the song speeds up I can't help the feeling of dread that creeps over me slowly. I can't place why but I just felt like something was off. My eyes return to see sylus smiling at me, his eyes gleaming. I laugh and continue to dance, trying to shake the feeling. Before I can help myself, my eyes tear away from sylus and back to the balcony looming over the dance floor. There are a ton of bodies moving with the music. Involuntarily, my eyes scan over the mass of shadows before landing on one unmoving silhouette. I can feel my blood run cold when the feeling of terror swallows me whole. The posture, the hair, everything aside from the face obstructed by shadows resembled Caleb. Suddenly the figure backs away from the railing, turning to disappear from my view. My eyes dart back to Sylus.
“I have to go!” I shout over the music.
“Go where?” He asks, confused.
“I think I saw my old friend, I wanna say hi so just wait for me by the bar, okay?” I smile and rush away from the dance floor before Sylus can respond. I tear through the crowd and make my way to the stairs leading to the balcony. I grip the railing, my head reeling with alcohol and emotion as I drag myself up the stairs. Why would Caleb be here? I tear through groups of people dancing or talking, my eyes frantically searching for any sign of Caleb. My eyes land on an empty seat at the bar where a glass sat alone, barely touched. I look around frantically, making my way deeper through the club. The flashing lights from the dance floor didn't shine as bright up here, casting shadows over everything. People were sprawled out on couches in the far corners of the room, talking and carrying on. I searched the groups of people for signs of Caleb before breaking away from the main room down a hallway. As I could make it very far down the dark hallway, a figure presses my body to the wall. I begin to fight back against the assailant when I meet Sylus’ confused gaze.
“What are you doing? Why didn't you go wait for me?” I ask, still reeling with confusion.
“I was worried. Did you find your friend?” His eyes flick from my gaze to the dark hallway stretching beyond us.
“No. But I need to use the bathroom.” I remark dismissively.
Sylus nods as he backs off. Without another word, I make my way across the room to find the bathrooms. I push my way through crowds of people, weaving around dancing bodies. I take out my phone and pull up Caleb’s contact, dialing his number as I make my way down the stairs.
I head to the exit and make my way around the corner of the building into an alleyway as the phone rings over and over again. Eventually, it takes me voicemail and I hang up. I punch the call button again, my anger and confusion only growing.
I call Caleb six times before he finally picks up.
“Where are you?” My question is more a demand as I cut him off from saying a word.
“I'm out.” I can hear the smirk in his tone.
“What?”
“I’m out for drinks with a few friends.” As if on cue, I hear a woman laugh in the background.
“Where?” I snap, my anger overtaking the confusion.
“Are you okay? Why do you sound so upset?” His arrogance preventing any sincerity from reaching me.
“No, I'm not. Why didn't you answer my calls?”
“I'm sorry I haven't been by my phone. I assumed you would be busy tonight. How is it? How is Tara?”
“Whatever. It's fine, Tara couldn't even make it.”
“So you're at home?”
My stomach flips when the reality of the situation hits me. Why didn't I think to lie? Why did he think to ask?
“Caleb, where are you?” I ask flatly.
“What's wrong? Did you miss me?” The voice on the phone blends to a reality. Frantically, I spin around to see Caleb standing behind me, holding his phone up to his ear.