Chapter Text
Alec loves his coffee as much as the next person.
Alright, maybe a little more than the next person, but he still has his limits.
Some people make it their entire personality. He knows a couple of people at work who wear coffee-scented perfume, which is…too much. Izzy bought him one for his 25 th . He kissed her on the cheek and threw it away.
Then later found out it was Tom Ford and cost a fortune. So, he pulled it out of the garbage.
He has limits, but he is not an idiot.
Nevertheless, he does love his coffee — which is why he, for the last decade, has been working at a place trying to get other people to love coffee too.
Whenever he meets someone new, usually during a blind date his meddling family set him up on, they ask him what he does for a living and the conversation always goes like this:
“I work at Java Essence.”
“Damn, you must like your coffee.”
“I do.”
“Cool.”
“Why would I work there if I don’t like coffee?”
“Not everyone enjoys what they sell.”
“What do you do for a living?”
“I sell cars.”
“Do you like cars?”
“Yes, but that’s not the point-”
“That’s exactly the point.”
“What about drug dealers? Do you think they like doing drugs?”
“I would assume so, yeah.”
“Wow, that’s judgmental.”
“No, it’s judgmental to assume a drug dealer wouldn’t like drugs.”
“You’re rude.”
“I think we’re done here.”
Or it goes like this…
“I work at Java Essence.”
“…Like a barista?”
“Would that be a problem?”
“No. No. Of course not. It’s just…Well, you don’t look like a Barista.”
“I used to be a barista when I was in college.”
“But not anymore, right?”
“I think we’re done here.”
Or like this.
“I work at Java Essence.”
“Why not Starbucks?”
“We’re fucking done here.”
Some would say that his job has essentially fucked over his dating life. Others – like his siblings – would say that it’s mostly because of Alec’s personality. Maybe they are a little right.
Alec loves his coffee and Alec loves his job. He’s not going to let anyone give him shit for it.
He isn’t sure whether it’s always been like this.
He’s always loved coffee, he knows that. Mom tells him he had his first sip when he was seven and has been addicted ever since.
But his job…Well, it’s been a long road.
He was a part-time barista at the Java Essence right outside his university. Then after he graduated, at the tender age of 22, he saw an advert for a trainee position at the company and applied as a joke.
And ten years later, here he is – Chief Operating Officer at one of the biggest coffeehouses in America.
It’s a big ladder to climb in such a short time. Though, his boss tells him that if anyone can do it, it’s Alec.
Alec thinks his boss is a little obsessed with him, but that’s beside the point and doesn’t really help with the favoritism rumors swirling around in his workplace.
The point is, when you love what you do, things are a little easier. Of course, it’s not the same for everyone.
Maybe he’s just lucky.
He tries not to think too much about it. You shouldn’t look a gift horse in the mouth and all that.
Besides, it’s not as if he hasn’t made sacrifices to be here. The biggest sacrifice, excluding the crazy hours and compulsory socializing, is putting up with his boss – who is a downright menace.
He is the reason why Alec is standing here like a moron, a cup of coffee to warm his hands, as he waits for the printer to spit out a single piece of paper.
Asmodeus is allergic to technology.
Java Essence is eco-friendly in every possible way. They switched to recyclable cups at all their coffeehouses way before the rest of the fuckers did. However, it is a well-kept secret that they have to print out everything that needs to be reviewed and signed by their boss.
The man almost set his laptop on fire trying to sign a PDF. So, Alec has given up on his quest to educate the man.
He grabs the piece of paper and marches to the office of the CEO – which is only a few paces away.
Did he mention that? Did he mention that his office is on the same floor as the CEO? Because he’s the COO? The second most important person in this place?
Yeah, it’s a flex.
What’s not a flex is ducking out of his boss’ view when he notices that the other man is not alone in his room.
Asmodeus has see-through doors for his office. Some bullshit about transparency.
When Alec becomes the CEO – touch wood! – the first thing he’s going to do is put on some fucking blinds.
“What are you doing?” the man’s secretary peers at him from her cubicle.
“Shush,” Alec hisses at her and considers crawling back to his office.
The girl narrows her eyes at him before picking up the phone that rings at her table. “Yes, sir. It’s him. I’ll send him in right away.”
Alec straightens up and glares at her. She simply winks at him.
“My phone fell,” Alec explains as he walks into the office, not that anyone asked for an explanation. “That's why I, er, ducked.”
“Should fall into a well,” the man grumbles. “Blasted things.”
Alec wants to ask where the hell they’d find a well in Manhattan which probably would lead to a whole different conversation, and he really needs this document signed before noon.
“I just need a signature,” Alec points out.
“Right. Right,” the man waves a hand and then holds up a photograph. Who even prints out photos anymore? It’s kind of creepy. “Thoughts?”
It’s the picture of a brunette, her long hair pulled back in a neat braid as she fiercely stares into the camera. Yikes.
But the pleading eyes of the woman sitting behind Asmodeus beg him to say anything other than ‘yikes’.
“Cute,” Alec settles.
“Hm,” Asmodeus frowns as he puts the photo down and picks up another, this time of a blonde man with a nose piercing. “This one?”
“Cuter,” Alec comments.
They are probably violating some kind of HR rule about appropriate workplace etiquette.
But then again, Alec is not supposed to smoke in his office either and that shit is not doable on days he has to meet with the marketing team. The marketing team and their fucking TikToks.
“He is a chef,” the woman notes proudly. “It’s a cute Italian place in Queens. All the kids on TikTok are talking about it.”
Alec shakes his head vehemently at the woman, but it’s too late.
“Yes, because TikTok is well known for its reliability.” Asmodeus lets out a loud snort. “Mei, I will not be entertaining the opinions of youths who think pranking their parents and putting it on social media is entertainment.”
Mei stares at Alec helplessly. Alec just shrugs.
Not his circus. Not his monkeys.
“What about the girl?” Mei pushes the photo closer to the man. “Allegra is a pro tennis player and tennis is all the rage these days.”
“Isn’t Allegra the name of a medicine?” Asmodeus makes a face at that.
Alec wants to note that people named Asmodeus Bane probably shouldn’t judge others for theirs. On the other hand, people named Lightwood should also probably keep their silence on the matter. So, he does.
“Does she have any allergies?” Asmodeus goes on, peering into the photo, as if he intends to see through the girl’s flaws. “The last one you showed me was allergic to cats – which we know isn’t going to work.”
“She wasn’t allergic to cats. She was allergic to ugly cats,” Mei corrects awkwardly.
“Magnus would’ve had her arrested for saying such blasphemy,” Asmodeus shakes his head and puts the photo down. “This doesn’t work either, Mei. I need more options.”
“And I need a signature,” Alec informs, pointing at the paper.
“Yes, Alec, in a minute,” Asmodeus sighs and turns to Mei again. “What about someone who shares his hobbies? Can we find someone like that?”
“With all due respect, Mr. Bane,” Mei looks a little annoyed now. “Making your own glitter is not a common hobby.”
Mei packs up her files – files full of people and pictures – and leaves the office after that, promising to return soon with ‘more compatible candidates’. Alec really hopes he’s off on that day.
“What am I going to do with this boy, Alec?” Asmodeus sighs, putting his face in his hands.
“I don’t know,” Alec replies, hating it when the other man is like this. “But I do know you need to put your signature here.”
“Right,” Asmodeus chuckles as he grabs the paper from Alec and signs it without a second thought.
He doesn’t even read it. He doesn’t even look at it.
It’s not because he’s stupid. You can’t create an empire like this if you’re stupid or gullible.
The problem is that he’s too trusting of Alec. Alec doesn’t know what to do with all that trust.
The only thing he can do is dedicate his whole life to this company, which he intends to do no matter what.
When he gets the signature, he gives a curt nod and makes his escape quickly. He briefly turns around at the door to find Asmodeus looking tiredly at some of the photos and profiles Mei had left behind for ‘second thoughts’.
He looks sad.
Alec doesn’t like it when his boss is sad.
Alec has been working at Java Essence for more than ten years now. He’s known Asmodeus for about eight.
He remembers a bunch of trainees – the cream of the crop – being selected to work at the headquarters eight years ago when their boss was “incapacitated” for a while. Alec, through the office gossip, found out that Asmodeus took time off work because his wife passed away.
When the man returned to work a few months later, they got close. Asmodeus found Alec’s dry humor to be hilarious and Alec – who always had an awkward relationship with his father – found the man endearing and inspiring.
There are people in the office, who still to this day, make jokes that Asmodeus replaced his wife with Alec. Jokes on them. After all, he’s the one with the corner office on the 12 th floor.
He doesn’t think Asmodeus replaced him with his wife. For one, the fucker won’t stop yapping about her. It’s always Saroja this and Saroja that. Second of all, he doesn’t need to replace his wife with some random man.
If Asmodeus’s son died and then he got obsessed with Alec, well then that makes sense. The son is very alive, though – and probably trying to get rid of his meddling father.
The meddling is quite recent.
When they met eight years ago, Asmodeus hardly spoke about his son. And then, out of nowhere, four years ago, he couldn’t stop talking about Magnus.
Well, it wasn’t exactly out of nowhere. Asmodeus had a fucking heart attack and instead of focusing on his health after his recovery, the man decided to focus on his son’s dating life.
He even asked Alec if he had any ‘nice friends’ he could introduce his son to or if Alec’s sister or brother would be interested. See? HR violations are not new at all.
It used to be trying to get his son to date. Now, it’s straight-up marriage.
Alec doesn’t get why he is pushing so hard.
Magnus, Asmodeus’ son, is handsome. Extremely so. He’s bisexual, too. So, it’s not like he is struggling to find prospects or anything. If he doesn’t want to get married, then there has to be a good reason for that.
Asmodeus is relentless. He seems to be getting more and more desperate as he gets older.
Alec kind of gets it though. Because his parents are the same. Now that Jace and Izzy are ‘sorted’, they’ve been bullying him to settle down too. Something about wanting to make sure ‘all the kids are settled’ before they die.
Alec doesn’t understand why ‘settling down in life’ is synonymous with getting married. He supposes it has something to do with a parent’s fear of their child ‘dying alone’ – mom’s words, by the way.
Luckily for Alec, his parents are manageable. Every time they bring up marriage, he throws back the good old ‘How did that work out for you?’ and they shut up right away.
In retrospect, all that ‘divorced parents trauma’ is kind of worth it.
When lunchtime rolls around, as usual, Alec makes his way to the boss’ office.
He grabs his smoked tuna and papaya salad on the way. He gets to choose from a private menu and there’s a private chef who cooks specifically for them.
Wish you were Asmodeus’ wife now, don’t you, assholes?
Lunch hours at the office are for gossip and chitchat for other employees. Alec usually eats with Asmodeus – which doesn’t help with the rumors – but honestly, eating with him is better than going to the cafeteria and socializing with everyone else.
The only downside is of course having to listen to this.
The endless brainstorming. The ideas somehow keep getting worse every time.
“What if I pay someone to do it?” Asmodeus asks him now, poking at his lemon chicken rice.
“That’s prostitution, sir,” Alec notes dryly.
“And?” the man prompts.
“And it’s illegal,” Alec clarifies.
Asmodeus scoffs at that, the same way he does for any of Alec’s feedback. “Alright, what if I tell him that I am dying, and this is my final wish?”
“That’s fraud,” Alec replies, mouthful of tuna. “Also illegal.”
“Okay. Okay. What about this? I think this one has real merit,” Asmodeus leans forward giddily. “What if I make one of those dating profiles? You know, the ones kids use these days. I pretend to be Magnus and then strike up a conversation with someone and-”
“Identity theft and impersonation,” Alec interrupts before the man can proceed any further. “Again, illegal.”
“Everything is illegal in this bloody country!” Asmodeus throws up his hands in frustration.
Alec chuckles and shakes his head, grabbing his glass of water. “Why is it so important that Magnus gets married right now?”
“Because he needs someone,” Asmodeus says seriously. “He is very good at being alone, that boy of mine. I don’t want him to get used to it.”
“Some people are better off alone,” Alec shrugs, mostly thinking of himself.
“This is honestly all my fault,” Asmodeus sighs. “I never should’ve let him be an only child.”
Alec points his fork at the older man, swallowing his food down. “Here’s an idea for you. Why don’t you build a time machine, go back in time, and have more children?”
Asmodeus hums at the idea, as if he is actually considering it. “I mean, I should count my lucky stars if I get to make love to my wife again.”
“I’m gonna stop you right there,” Alec points his fork again, a little threateningly this time.
Honestly, HR should just fire them both.
“Do you know what is sad?” Asmodeus stares off into the distance, that sad, puppy look coloring his face again. “I might have more success building a time machine than convincing Magnus to get married.”
“Maybe if you build the time machine, you can find a new hobby,” Alec suggests. “You can stop them from making Jaws 2 and kill the person who canceled Hannibal.”
“Is that what you would do if you had a time machine?” Asmodeus asks a little judgmentally.
“My point is,” Alec huffs. “There are plenty of other things you can do instead of trying to convince your son to get married.”
“I don’t have a choice, Alec! I am old! I don’t have a lot of time!”
“You’re not even 60,” Alec rolls his eyes at the man’s theatrics.
“I’m 57,” Asmodeus informs gravely. “Do you know what that is in tortoise years? 228! That’s a lot of years, Alec.”
‘Why would you compare yourself to a tortoise?” Alec asks incredulously.
“It’s my emotional support animal,” Asmodeus informs sagely. “Magnus made me do a BuzzFeed quiz.”
“Oh my god,” Alec groans, even though he is vaguely curious about his own. He hopes it’s not one of those weird ones, like a platypus or something.
“Besides,” Asmodeus says, a little softer now. “You know my heart.”
Alec frowns at that.
He knows the older man has a heart condition. He also knows the heart attack last time had been a scary one.
He hates this topic, and he hates the human body. It’s stupid and fragile.
Maybe identity theft is not a bad idea after all.
But he doesn’t encourage the other man.
Because at the end of the day, who Magnus Bane marries is none of his fucking business.