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You both laugh, falling onto the bed in a tangle of limbs. As soon as he's lifted his shirt over his head you're pulling him forward and Micah is back on you in an instant. Staring up at him, his arms on either side of your head without being restricting... you feel safe.
"Is this okay?" Micah whispers in your ear, chuckling softly at your vigorous nodding. "Okay, okay..." His hands gently slip under your shirt, helping you tug it off and placing it on the bedside table.
You let your eyes close as he presses a kiss to your neck, hands drifting lower and palming your chest, smirking at the gasp the touch elicits.
Kissing your neck/touching your thighs/hands all over
"Yujin..." "Angel~" He rolls his tongue over your nipple, sucking gently. Your eyes shoot open. "Micah-" He presses a finger to your lips, sucking harder. You tremble slightly, and he takes it as encouragement.
"That's it, love. Come here, darling... don't you want some?" Head going lower, a sigh and hands ghosting your back. "Don't stop so soon, angel-"
"Angel! y/n!"
You blink. Micah is here, he's leaning back slightly and looking at you with concern.
"Darling, are you alright? What happened? Did I hurt you?" You open your mouth to say that you're fine, of course he didn't hurt you, why would he even need to ask-
No sound comes out. You suddenly realise that you're crying. You try to speak again but only a choked sob comes out, and Micah's cradling you gently and you're sobbing against his chest. Micah rocks you back and forth, softly humming and stroking your head. Your heavy sobs slowly return to soft whimpers and gasps, calmed by his heartbeat as you lean against his bare skin.
You're not quite sure how long you stay like that for but he just keeps humming slowly, anxiously waiting for you to say something, anything.
Eventually you manage to choke out an "I'm sorry". Micah's eyes widen. "Wha?- Oh, Angel..." "I-I ruined it. You weren't doing anything wrong and I-" You hiccup slightly. "Angel, look at me, please." He tilts your head up slightly. "You have nothing to be sorry for. I pushed you too far, I should've been checking in on you more-"
You hug him tightly, burying your face into the crook of his neck. "You didn't! It's not..." You hesitate. You're only a few months into your relationship, surely it's too early to dump everything onto him! But he's looking at you so expectantly and there's no judgement in his expression, only love and concern.
"Hey, you don't have to explain it if you don't want to. Just know that I'm here either way." His voice is so sincere it hurts. You're scared of telling him. You're scared of him finding out and leaving, of him being so disgusted that he'll never want to talk to you again - but he deserves to know. You shouldn't keep lying to him. If anything, he'll probably want to leave because of how long you hid this from him.
You take a deep breath and silently pray that he doesn't hate you for this.
"I... I need to tell you something." Micah softly hums in response. "An- and you're probably going to hate me for this, and if you end up wanting to leave right after this I won't blame you at all, I just-" Your voice cracks. "I think you deserve to know."
Micah opens his mouth as if to argue, but a look from you shuts him up. He nods at you to continue. "So... we've talked about our dads before. About our issues and how we're both dealing with them. But I've never... I've never told you about my mother."
"Basically, she was the opposite of my dad - as in she was a complete control freak. After my parents split she became very... possessive of me. She wouldn't let me do anything myself, she would bathe me, she would brush my teeth - hell, she wouldn't let me tie my own shoelaces until I was twelve. But to everyone else, she was the perfect mother. She praised me, she hugged me, she -" You shudder slightly. "She kissed me sometimes. On my ears, on my face, on my neck. Which was fine at first, I was a little kid... but when I got older and I asked her to stop, she didn't. No matter what I said she always treated me like a child, and- eventually, I just gave up on saying no to her." You feel Micah tense slightly and you refuse to look at him.
"Then, one day- I don't know how old I was, I think I was about ten or eleven- she called me to her room, and she was lying back on her bed, and- and she was shirtless. "You pretend not to notice the way that Micah's grip on you loosens slightly, or the way his breath hitches. "She... she called me over, and said that for some reason after years she was making breastmilk again. And she-" You try to stop your voice from breaking. "She told me to come have some. And- and I did."
Micah freezes completely.
"And then she- she was sighing, and she was stroking my back, and, and-" Your composure is dangerously close to breaking. "She called me angel.
You can't hear Micah breathing any more. "It- it wasn't anything sexual!" You desperately add, trying to stop him from leaving out of sheer disgust. "She- she had a ton of mental issues, and I think she might have just been hallucinating, so that she could treat me like a little kid still. But my stupid ass still got triggered, even though I have no right to be and even though I could've had it so much worse-"
You start shaking. "And I know that I'm disgusting for it, and that I should have told you sooner and if you want to leave, then I promise that's fine-" You make the mistake of looking up at him, and all you can see on his face is anger. The dam breaks and you start sobbing.
This seems to break whatever stupor he's in and he immediately hugs you tightly, pulling you closer to him as you cry. "y/n, look at me." His voice is cold and you freeze, looking up at him and trying not to burst into tears. "I am never leaving you." His hand shakes as he cups your face gently, as if you're something delicate that he doesn't want broken, as if you aren't already. "Ever."
You stammer in shock. "You're - what? But then why are you so angry-" "I'm not angry with you!" You flinch at the way he yells and he immediately picks it up. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell, I just- fuck!" He clutches at his hair, eyes watering. "I'm angry with your mom!"
He's angry... on your behalf? This is... not the reaction you were expecting. "Listen-" He groans. "I don't care if you could've had it worse, or if you went along with it, or about whatever the fuck her intentions were. She hurt you, and that's fucked up. You deserve- you've always deserved better."
You're completely speechless. You've never had anyone get angry for you before.
"But I- I let her do it. I could have stopped her, I allowed her to-" "No," Micah says firmly, "you didn't. You were a little kid who shouldn't have gone through that shit." As you blink your own tears away, you realise that Micah is crying too. It makes your heart swell, having someone actually care about you and show it so openly.
"I still... I still should've told you first. I told you that I'd never done anything like this before and I lied-" You're interrupted by Micah pulling you forward and meeting you with a gentle kiss, which effectively shuts you up. When he stops he doesn't pull away, rather pressing your foreheads together gently. "Doesn't count. You didn't choose it. You didn't choose any of this. And I... I'm so sorry, y/n." He murmurs, caressing your hand.
You don't know what to say. You had expected the worst, you'd expected him to hate you, but he was still right here. You cling onto him tightly and he reciprocates, resting his head on yours.
"I know it must have been... really difficult. To tell me all of this, I mean. Thank you, Ang- y/n." You look up at him. "You can still call me Angel." He looks hesitant still. "If it reminds you of..." You shake your head. "I hated it at first, but then you gave me the name 'Angel' and... after that it started to mean something different. I like it when it comes from you."
Micah splutters at that, face flushed and eyes wide, which makes you giggle. "God, you're so cute..." He pinches his forehead in disbelief. You can't help but laugh for some reason, making him grin in response. You lean forward to lie on him and he wraps his arms around you comfortingly. "I’m not going anywhere. You're not getting rid of me, Angel." You smile. "I wouldn't have it any other way."
You pause.
"But anyway, uhh... sorry for ruining things earlier. I wanted both of us to enjoy it-" "Don't worry 'bout it, Ang. We've got all the time we need. There's no rush, 'kay?" You yawn. "Okay..." You rest your head against his chest and he pulls a blanket over the both of you. "Thank you," you murmur and he presses a kiss to your forehead. "Any time, Angel.”