Archive of Our Own

The Hermits. Not the sort of name that you’d typically associate with the top heroes in the world. But then again, their main rival’s name, Watcher, wasn’t the most threatening. Well. Okay, it was a little bit threatening. But, like, in a creepy, stalker-y way, not a ‘they’re about to kill me’ way.

That’s why you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover. Because Watcher definitely would kill you, without a second thought. He was known for being absolutely ruthless, and incredibly skilled at evading the law — so skilled, in fact, that none of the Hermits had managed to fight him face-to-face. But he was well known as the silhouette on the rooftop, laughing manically as three buildings blew up.

It was an agonizing four months of destruction before one of the Hermits finally managed to find Watcher, leaning against an alley wall and drawing on an iPad.

“Watcher.” The hero’s voice was distorted through a voice changer.

Watcher flinched and looked up, shoving the iPad in his pocket.

“Lenitus. Fancy seeing you here on your day off.”

Lenitus didn’t give away his surprise. “I must say, you are excellent at avoiding us.”

Watcher raised an eyebrow above the eye-mask. “What are you hoping to do with flattery?”

“Nothing, I was simply stating facts. Although we had a bet going on who would meet you first, so if you could, like, give some proof? Please?”

Watcher stared at him for a moment. “You want 𝘮𝘦,” he pointed at himself “to give 𝘺𝘰𝘶 proof,” he pointed at Lenitus, “that you’ve met me before your colleagues.”

“Yes, that would be correct,” Lenitus nodded.

“Right. And you assume I’ll do that because…?”

Lenitus deflated slightly. “Ah. Right. Forgot about the whole supervillain thing, but I really could use that hundred bucks.”

“What for?” Watcher tilted his head curiously.

Lenitus decided to take a split-second gamble. “Well, I found this lovely van that needs desperate repair work, but I can’t afford it.”

Watcher snorted. “Hero work not pay well?”

“Not as much as you’d think,” Lenitus replied. “But probably more than yours.”

“I have a day job,” Watcher shrugged. “And everything’s a whole lot cheaper if you’re willing to steal it.”

Lenitus chuckled. “I’m not allowed that mindset, unfortunately.”

“Sucks to be you then. I can do what I want,” replied Watcher complacently.

“But you have people like me on your tail constantly,” Lenitus pointed out.

Watcher grinned sharply. “But I can deal with them. Wanna see how?”

Lenitus’ eyes widened, and he just managed to squeak out a “Not particularly!” before Watcher had him pinned to the wall by the throat, a knife under his chin.

“Welp, there goes my life,” Lenitus muttered as a sharp sting started in his throat.

“I’m not gonna kill you yet, idiot,” Watcher chuckled. “We haven’t had our fun.”

“Real reassuring as you cut my neck,” Lenitus said tensely. “And I’m not keen on the word ‘yet’.”

Watcher grinned again as he stepped back, twirling the knife through his fingers. “You seem 𝘧𝘶𝘯.”

“Thanks,” Lenitus muttered dryly, wincing as he put his fingers up to his neck. “What did you do?”

Watcher smirked. “You’ll see. Until next time, Lenitus.”

The hero watched him sashay away, contemplating following until he noticed the dropped iPad on the floor. It lay face-down, and Lenitus picked it up, finding that the screen was not cracked, and somehow still on.

It was in an art application of some sort, and had a photo of some castle ruins in the corner. The rest was a sketch of the same castle, unruined, if that was a word. It was weirdly good, Lenitus noticed, in the detail and gradients.

He left it where it was instead of taking it for examination like a sensible person. Then he headed back to the Hermit HQ to face his coworkers.

“Oh my god, what happened to your neck?!”

Lenitus winced as a woman stood in front of him, hands on her hips.

“I’m fine, Stress, it’s just a scratch-”

“Mumbo K Jumbo, whether it’s ‘just a scratch’ or not, I’m obligated to fix you up due to my role of head medic. Now sit your butt down and let me do my job.”

Mumbo sat down. Some people you just didn’t argue with.

Stress was cleaning his neck when she gave a sharp gasp.

“What is it?” Mumbo asked, concerned. “He didn’t write a rude word, did he?”

“You didn’t mention the fact you ran into Watcher!”

“You didn’t exactly give me an opportunity,” Mumbo pointed out. “Wait, how do you know?”

Stress shoved a hand mirror in his face, and Mumbo squinted into it.

“Oh he 𝘥𝘪𝘥𝘯’𝘵.”

“He did.”

“Who did what?”

Mumbo yelped, dropping the mirror (which Stress caught) and staring towards the doorway, looking for all the world like a deer in headlights.

“X! Heyyy,” Mumbo sweated. “Fancy seeing you here!”

“I own this building,” Xisuma stated. “I could say the same to you anyway, it’s your day off.”

“Yeah, but I was bored,” Mumbo admitted. “But good came of it!”

“Good?” Stress raised an eyebrow. “That might leave a scar, you know, luv. The neck is a delicate thing.”

“What happened.” Xisuma didn’t bother to phrase it like a question.

“I’m fine! It wasn’t meant to kill,” Mumbo said defensively.

“What. Happened.”

Mumbo winced. “Right, so, uh, you know Watcher?”

“Don’t tell me you ran into 𝘞𝘢𝘵𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘳 on your day off.”

The silence said enough.

Xisuma sighed. “Right. Stress, do you mind calling a meeting? Everyone available, including those on the field.”

Stress nodded, disappearing into a room.

“Sorry?” Mumbo tried, glancing meekly at Xisuma.

“Hm? It isn’t your fault, Mumbo. I’m just worried, now that Watcher’s bold enough to interact, and hurt us, what he’ll do.”

“He didn’t seem too bad, to be honest,” Mumbo said hesitantly.

Xisuma cast him a sparing glance. “I think I might wait for multiple people’s judgement before deciding anything.”

Well that was blatant. “Right,” Mumbo coughed.

“Come on, let’s go wait for everyone,” Xisuma decided, striding to the elevator.

After about twenty minutes of Mumbo sitting awkwardly beside Xisuma as Hermits filed in, the meeting commenced.

“Sorry everyone for the rather impromptu nature of this gathering,” Xisuma began. “But a rather important and unexpected event has occurred. Mumbo, if you’d like to explain?”

Mumbo blinked as everyone turned to look at him. “Right, um, yes, of course.” He cleared his throat nervously. “So, uh, I… sort of spoke to Watcher?”

Stoney silence. That was probably worse than if everyone had started shouting.

“Uh, I, um, bumped into him in an alley and we said a few words before he threatened me at knife-point, and, ah, gave me a rather nasty tattoo.” Mumbo lifted his chin to reveal the cut on his neck, a rectangle with dots in two corners.

There were several gasps, and a few whispers.

“Glad I’m not you.” Mumbo glared at Hotguy.

“Gee thanks, Scar, fills me with joy. It isn’t 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 bad-”

“Not that bad? You don’t realise what that means?”

Mumbo blinked. “Well, it’s his little symbol thing? He leaves it around the place, graffiti and stuff, right?”

“Mumbo, he leaves that symbol on buildings, offices and such,” Doc informed him. “Within a week, they’re all gone. Blown up, burnt down, whatever. Watcher marks his prey.”

There was silence as everyone took this in.

Mumbo raised a tentative hand. “Do I still get that hundred quid?”

Three days later, Mumbo sat on the edge of a rooftop, finishing off his lunch. His mask was pulled down under his chin, and breadcrumbs clung to his costume.

“Dignified,” a voice remarked, and Mumbo jumped, head snapping to his right. Watcher was perched beside him, and had been for goodness-knows-how-long.

“I wasn’t expecting an audience,” Mumbo said, swallowing the last of his sandwich, “and I don’t particularly mind what you think of me. According to my colleagues, you’ll be wiping me out in a few days anyway. That’s what the mark means, right?”

Watcher hummed, making a so-so gesture.

“Is that what you’re doing now? Should I be thinking up some good last words?”

Watcher snorted. “Nah, as I said last time, I haven’t had fun with you yet.”

“What do you mean by fun?” Mumbo asked warily.

“Stuff like this, I guess,” Watcher shrugged. “Conversing with you. Makes my life more interesting, and hell knows I won’t socialise with people who know my civilian identity.”

Mumbo snorted. “You and me both, mate.”

“Life’s easier if it’s a lie,” Watcher agreed.

Mumbo considered. “Well, I wouldn’t say it’s a lie exactly. You are lying, yes, but your persona makes friends with people, and then you end up liking them as your civilian self.”

“I wouldn’t know,” Watcher shrugged. “I don’t particularly make friends with villains.”

“I doubt you would, they aren’t really on your level,” Mumbo observed.

Watcher glanced at him. “…Thanks,” he said slowly, a little confusedly.

“Oh, I didn’t mean- I was just stating facts, again.”

“Well, I’ll take the compliment,” Watcher laughed. “You’ve earned your place as my favourite Hermit, as of today.”

“Oh, um, thanks.” Mumbo said. “I think I’m the only Hermit you’ve met, but I’ll take that.”

Watcher looked over him, eyes sparkling. “You’re blushing.”

Mumbo pulled his mask up over his face, reddening further. “I don’t handle compliments well.”

Watcher wrinkled his nose. “Take that off, you sound weird with the voice changer. I prefer your voice without it.”

After a pause, Mumbo pulled his mask off again, stuffing it in his pocket. Then he also removed the other part of his face covering, the goggles and fabric over the top half of his face.

“Hello,” Watcher said, sounding mildly surprised. “I didn’t mean take it all off.”

“That’s what she sai- I’ve been hanging around Hotguy too much,” Mumbo pressed his lips together.

Watcher snorted. “Is Hotguy the type to make dirty jokes?”

“Absolutely. Not always on purpose, as well,” Mumbo chuckled.

Watcher snickered at the image. “Are you close with the other Hermits?”

“Oh, very,” Mumbo nodded. “We’re all one big family. That is to say, X was worried sick after I came back with your symbol on my neck, and Hotguy said, and I quote, ‘glad I’m not you’.”

Watcher laughed. “Sounds nice to be close to them, though. It would be hella awkward if you all hated each other.”

“Even less would get done then,” Mumbo chortled. “Gosh, that would be weird.”

Watcher started to smile, then stiffened, gaze darting to his wrist. Mumbo could see some sort of sonar device that showed something approaching. He leaned closer to see that it had been modified to show the letter X.

With a sudden jolt, Watcher snapped into action, pushing Mumbo gently so he was lying on the rooftop and taking out a knife.

Mumbo sighed. “Again? Can you at least make it symmetrical?”

Watcher pressed the knife to his throat, flat side against the skin under his chin, and moved to kneel over him.

“Um,” Mumbo stuttered. “Hi.”

“I’m threatening your life, you realise,” Watcher stated.

“Well, I suppose so, yes. But I’m not instinctively scared of you, so I won’t force myself to be.”

“In that case pretend you are, when your hero father comes and rescues you from me,” Watcher said, glancing at his wrist again.

“Oh, that’s what this is about,” Mumbo realised. “You want me to try to get away?”

Watcher nodded, pulling the knife slightly away so he had some room.

Mumbo started struggling and flailing his arms and legs, and Watcher quickly grabbed both of his wrists with his free hand.

There was a sudden thump, and Watcher looked up as a gun was shoved in his face.

“Move off him slowly, put the knife on the floor, and stand with your arms above your head.” Xisuma’s voice was cold, menacing.

Watcher did so, eyes flitting between the two heroes.

X offered a hand to Mumbo, keeping his eyes fixed on Watcher.

“Are you hurt?”

“No, he didn’t get the chance,” Mumbo replied.

“But he took your mask off,” Xisuma stated.

“It fell off in the struggle, I have it in my pocket,” Mumbo amended.

Xisuma pressed his lips together, mask moving slightly.

“Watcher. What is your intention with Lenitus?”

Watcher shrugged, a smirk in his voice. “I don’t know yet. I’m just playing with him. You’ll find out when I’ve decided his fate.”

With that, he took a few steps backwards, off the edge of the building.

Both heroes gasped, and Mumbo darted forwards to peer over the edge, only held back from falling by Xisuma grabbing his wrist.

There was nothing below. No body, no sign that Watcher had ever been there at all.

“Are you sure you’re alright to stay home alone?” Xisuma triple-checked.

They were both in civilian clothes by Mumbo’s apartment door.

“Yes, I’m fine,” Mumbo repeated, trying not to let the exasperation seep into his voice. “Besides, you’re only one floor away, and Scar and Iskall are next door. I’m literally the safest I could be, living in a building of heroes.”

“I know, I know, sorry for hovering. I’m just worried about you. He’s held you at knife point twice now, and heaven knows what he would’ve done the second time if I wasn’t in the area.” Xisuma sighed, forehead wrinkled with stress.

Mumbo smiled at him gently. “I’ll set up an alarm system that will alert HQ when I need help.”

Xisuma nodded. “Okay. Thanks, and sorry for being so worried.”

“It’s okay, you’re just doing your job as father of the precinct,” Mumbo chuckled, slotting his key into the door. “See you tomorrow, X.”

“Goodnight, Mumbo.”

Mumbo opened his door and slipped inside, locking it behind him with a soft ‘click’. He collapsed onto his armchair, propping his feet up on the coffee table and grabbing the paper from where he’d left it that morning.

It took about five minutes for him to realise someone was watching him. And another ten minutes before he looked out the window.

Watcher was perched on the very narrow window ledge, looking in.

“Gah!” Mumbo jumped about a foot in the air, scrambling away from the window. Watcher burst out laughing.

Mumbo glared at him, opening the big window.

“How long have you been there?”

“Since you sat down,” Watcher giggled, clambering through the window and heading for the door. “For a hero, you’re very inobservant.”

“Unobservant,” Mumbo corrected, watching him wipe his shoes on the mat. “And I didn’t exactly expect to have a villain perched on my window like a nosy pigeon.”

Watcher squawked offendedly. “I am 𝘯𝘰𝘵 a pigeon!”

“Sure sound like one,” Mumbo teased.

“I have knives,” Watcher threatened.

“You won’t use them,” Mumbo said confidently. “If you wanted me gone, you would’ve done it by now. Unless you’re manipulating me into liking you, trusting you and backstabbing the Hermits,” he shrugged. “If that’s your plan, I think it’s starting to work.”

“You mean you like me?”

“I think I trust you. After all, I showed you my face and I haven’t kicked you out yet, though I still don’t know how you found me.”

“Followed you from the HQ,” Watcher waved it away. “But-”

“You know where HQ is?!”

“Yeah. You said yourself, I’m the best villain,” Watcher grinned, smug.

“Well… yes, you are, but that’s very valued information. Have you told anyone else?”

“Nope.” Watcher popped the ‘p’.

“Okay,” Mumbo relaxed slightly.

“But, as mentioned, I’m still the biggest threat-”

“𝘈𝘯𝘥,” Mumbo cut in. “As mentioned, I trust you.”

Watcher was silent for a moment, and Mumbo glanced at the kitchen. “Well, you might as well make yourself comfortable, since you don’t seem to be planning to leave any time soon. Would you like some tea? The options are yes or absolutely.”

Watcher laughed slightly. “Yes please. One milk, three sugars.”

“Right, feel free to take a seat, I’ll be a moment.”

Watcher nodded, settling into the couch as Mumbo set the kettle going and grabbed two mugs, dropping a teabag in each. When the kettle was boiled, he poured them and set the mugs on the coffee table. Watcher had taken his shoes off and was curled up on the armchair, iPad in his arms, drawing again.

“Thanks,” he said, not looking up.

“Oh, I saw the castle you were drawing the first time,” Mumbo mentioned. “It’s good.”

“Thanks,” Watcher said again, looking up. “I’m really into architecture and that kinda stuff, so I tend to draw buildings.”

Mumbo took a sip of tea. “Have you considered pursuing a career in architecture?”

“I’ve contemplated, but being a villain is pretty much a full-time job, and I don’t want to be too out there, in case I’m recognised,” Watcher shrugged. “I’m content to just sketch designs for the time being.”

“That makes sense, but it must be a bit annoying that your alias is holding you back,” Mumbo remarked.

“Do you not have the same experience?” Watcher asked.

Mumbo hesitated. “Well, I guess. I used to enjoy engineering, and invented little contraptions for every-day tasks, but then I was offered to join the Hermits, so that kinda stopped. I see what you mean.”

“It was your point,” Watcher shrugged, leaning forward and picking up his mug. Mumbo looked away as he slipped his mask down to take a drink, and looked back at the clink of the mug being put back down.

“I guess.”

There was silence for a moment as Mumbo searched for a conversation topic.

“Hey, how did you survive earlier? The whole walking off the roof thing.”

“Magic,” Watcher grinned cheekily.

Mumbo chuckled. “Okay.”

“I’ll tell you when I trust you more,” Watcher said, more sincerely.

“That’s fair,” Mumbo nodded.

“Thanks for going along with me threatening you, by the way,” Watcher added. “I don’t particularly want all of you Hermits thinking I’ll grant mercy.”

“Looks like we’re on the same page then, because I’d rather the Hermits don’t know that I’m cavorting with the enemy.”

Watcher looked at him intently. “Do the rest of the Hermits not like when you talk to villains?”

“Goodness, no. The Hermits are reasonable, but they’re heroes — they wouldn’t want any possibility of treason.”

“Especially not from someone who is also a Hermit. Like you.”

“Well I supose so, yeah,” Mumbo’s forehead wrinkled. “You’re scrutinising me rather.”

“You don’t tend to refer to yourself as a Hermit. When talking about them, you don’t say ‘us’, you say ‘them’. What makes you not see yourself as a Hermit?”

Mumbo blinked. “Oh. Well, um. It’s nothing really, they’re just kinda awesome, and I’m just over here bumbling my way through life, having no idea how I even got the job. I have no powers or skills to speak of, and I keep getting in muddles and making everyone worry unnecessarily.”

“It’s not unnecessary,” Watcher said instantly. “From their point of view, I’ve threatened you with a knife twice, cut your neck once in a mark that means I will probably kill you at some point, and was only just stopped by X from doing whatever I wanted to you. It’s perfectly justifiably that they’re worried, and if that’s annoying then just tell them and they’ll try to tone it down a bit. But I would be flattered if I were you, that they clearly think you’re worth worrying about. That means they care about you, and don’t see you as just some tag-along side character.”

Mumbo hummed thoughtfully.

“As for having no powers,” Watcher continued. “That doesn’t matter. From what I’ve seen, heaps of heroes and villains, and almost all the vigilantes, are powerless. And you do have skills, you told me how fond you are of engineering. Maybe incorporate that into your hero work, make devices that can help you. You could work with the GOAT, he’s the techy one right? That will help your connections as well, and make you feel more at home whilst you’re at work. Thank you for listening to my TED talk.”

Mumbo laughed slightly. “Okay, yeah. Thanks, that’s actually some really good advice.”

“No problem, glad I can help,” Watcher replied, taking another sip of tea. “Sorry for talking so much.”

“No, no, you’re fine,” Mumbo shook his head. “It’s helpful talk.”

Watcher smiled. “Good.”

“I’m going to try that soon then,” Mumbo thought aloud. “The engineering at work thing. I’m sure Doc will have some parts left lying around, he won’t mind if I start up a little project.”

Mumbo noticed that Watcher didn’t ask who Doc was. Either he already knew, or didn’t want to know.

“What about you, then?” Mumbo asked. “You’ve shown me a way to fit my hobby in with work, are you gonna try your hand at some architectural stuff?”

“Nah, there’s no way I can fit that sort of thing in with being a full-time villain,” Watcher brushed away.

“I doubt there’ll be many complaints if you maybe tone down the destruction a little,” Mumbo joked, and Watcher chuckled.

Mumbo grabbed his laptop from the coffee table and opened it up, typing in a quick Google search.

“There’s a college nearby that specialises in art and architecture,” he said, spinning the computer around to show Watcher. “Obviously I don’t know where you live, but it isn’t far away from here, and I doubt you travelled thousands of miles just to seek me out.”

“No, I’m local,” Watcher replied, squinting at the screen. “Holy- Lenitus, the price of the entry exam alone is more than what I currently possess.”

Mumbo looked at the numbers. “My name’s Mumbo,” he mentioned. “Lenitus is the hero version, I’m Mumbo when I’m not in the field. And I can sort you out with some cash.”

“Absolutely not, Mumbo,” Watcher declared. “You said you don’t get much income from hero work, I’m not taking your money just for some extra schooling.”

Mumbo saw him glance at the screen again. “You want to go, though.”

Watcher scoffed. “Obviously, look at that place! But I can’t, and I can face that.”

“Or you can,” Mumbo said. “Look, I’m not just doing this for your benefit. If you’re at college, you’re destroying less of the city. Bonus points for the heroes.”

Watcher didn’t answer.

“It’s not certified that you’ll get in anyway, so it’s not like I’ll definitely be paying continuously. You could just try it out.”

Watcher was starting to waver.

“Plus, I’m not struggling with money much at the moment, due to getting a nice little hundred quid a few days ago thanks to a certain someone.”

“I’ll pay you back,” Watcher stated.

“Is that a yes?” Mumbo started to grin.

Watcher sighed. “Fine.”

“YES!” Mumbo beamed. “I’ll PayPal you some money now.”

He grabbed his phone.

“Why’re you so determined about this anyway?” Watcher asked, getting his own phone out. It had parrot stickers all over the bright red case.

“You did a good deed to me, I want to repay you,” Mumbo shrugged. “And in the long run, I’m gaining from it.”

“Not in the short run, though,” Watcher said. “Thank you.”

“No problem,” Mumbo echoed Watcher’s own words from before. “Glad I can help.”

Watcher smiled at him genuinely.

Then his phone started ringing, and Watcher looked at Mumbo apologetically.

“It’s my sister, do you mind if I answer it?”

“Not at all, go ahead,” Mumbo smiled, picking up their empty mugs and turning away to give the illusion of privacy.

“Hey. … Yes, I’m fine. … Sorry, I got a little distracted. I’ll be home soon, I’m on my way now. … Yes, okay. Tesco or Sainsbury’s? … Of course. See you in a minute.”

Watcher clicked off and stood up.

“I have to go, sorry. Thank you for your hospitality though, that was very kind of you.”

“You’re welcome,” Mumbo smiled. “Feel free to pop in whenever you want, you’re always welcome. And don’t forget to apply to that university.”

“Of course,” Watcher nodded. “See you next time, Mumbo.”

Mumbo beamed. “See you next time.”

Mumbo got into work early the next day, managing to wake himself up at five and be in the HQ at six. When he arrived in the community office, the cleaning lady was sorting out Scar’s desk.

“Good morning Pearl,” Mumbo nodded at her.

“Morning Mumbo,” she grinned back. “Don’t tell Scar I’m cleaning his desk again.”

“Oh, I won’t,” Mumbo smirked. “It was hilarious to see him so distraught last time.”

“So, why’re you in so early?” Pearl asked.

“Needed to clear up a few gritty things that I’ve been putting off,” Mumbo replied, stretching as he sat at his desk.

Pearl glanced at him, then frowned. “What’s that on your neck?”

Mumbo’s hand instinctively flew up to it. “Oh, I had a slight run-in with Watcher a few days ago. I bumped into him yesterday as well, and he’s threatened me twice with a knife.”

A frown appeared on Pearl’s face. “Was it warranted? Like, did you do anything to aggravate him?”

“Besides be a hero?” Mumbo laughed. “He isn’t bad though. Don’t tell anyone I told you this, but I’m not instinctively afraid of him. I sort of trust him, I’ve no idea why.”

“Huh,” Pearl said thoughtfully. “Now that is interesting.”

Mumbo nodded, keyboard clacking as he logged into his computer.

“Well, it looks like I’m all done here, unless you have any requests?” Pearl checked.

“No thanks, you go enjoy yourself,” Mumbo smiled.

“Thanks. I’ll probably go bully my brother whilst he’s at work,” Pearl grinned, slinging her bag over her shoulder.

“Have fun,” Mumbo chuckled, before delving into the dangerous world of research.

The next time he looked up, it was to Scar’s outraged cries. There were several other Hermits in that he hadn’t noticed arrive, who were watching the scene (with popcorn, in team ZIT’s case).

“Who did this?!” Scar rounded on the nearest person, which happened to be Etho. “Was this you?”

“Nope, was like that when I got there,” Etho replied, taking an offered piece of popcorn from Tango. “And I was second in.”

“Who was first?” Scar asked, eyes narrowed.

Etho glanced at Mumbo. “Um. I don’t know.”

Scar whirled around again, staring at Mumbo. “𝘠𝘰𝘶. I should’ve known.”

Mumbo contemplated snitching on Pearl, but decided it was funnier to let Scar think it was him.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he smirked, hands clasped in front of him in a business-like pose.

“You 𝘵𝘪𝘥𝘪𝘦𝘥,” Scar practically spat the word, “my 𝘥𝘦𝘴𝘬.”

“𝘕𝘰, I would 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳,” Mumbo drawled. There were a few titters of laughter from behind Scar.

“Mark my words, Mumbo Jumbo,” Scar said slowly. “I will find you—”

“You know where I live.”

“—and hunt you down—”

“We’ve raced and I won.”

“— and murder you—”

“I can take you in a fight.”

“—and your bloodline.”

“I literally don’t have a family.”

Scar blinked. “You don’t? I mean yeah, that’s cause I killed them.”

There was a cough from the doorway into Xisuma’s office, and Scar winced.

“𝘈𝘩. Hey X, didn’t see you there!” He said brightly.

“No threatening your workmates,” Xisuma sighed. “Go treat Mumbo to a coffee or something, he’s been here for at least four hours.”

Scar drooped. “Yes dad.”

“Wait, you don’t know that I want to go to a cafe with Scar!” Mumbo protested, saving his google doc.

“You don’t have a choice,” Xisuma said. “Stop overworking yourself and this won’t happen. What are you doing, anyway?”

“Research,” Mumbo answered vaguely, shutting down his computer. “Alright, fine.” He grabbed his jacket from the back of his chair. “Where are we headed, Scar?”

Scar perked up. “Oh, I’ve been meaning to go to this place Pearl told me about!”

“Off you go then, have fun,” Xisuma said, practically pushing them out the door.

Mumbo swept a look at everyone watching, sighed, and followed Scar.

“Hello, welcome to the Evolution coffee shop, I’ll be with you in a moment,” someone called as they entered. There was a quiet shriek, then a shushing noise from a back room.

Scar and Mumbo glanced at each other.

A moment later, a short, blond person appeared in the doorway, darting over to the counter. Pearl followed behind, wiping her face. She sat on the counter and grinned at Scar and Mumbo.

The blond looked up at them, and froze for a moment. Then they turned around, pulling a plastic water gun out of their pocket, and sprayed Pearl in the face.

“Hey!” Pearl spluttered. “It’s karma, you can’t shoot me!”

“You made it happen! That’s not karma, that’s revenge,” the other person grumbled.

“Justified, though,” Pearl said.

The blond shrugged, before turning back to Scar and Mumbo. “Sorry about that. How can I help?”

Mumbo glanced at his name tag, which read ‘Grian, He/Him’.

“Hi, can I get a medium iced coffee please?”

Grian tapped on the register, looking up at Scar.

“And a large mocha, please,” Scar beamed jovially. “And a cookie.”

“Will that be all?”

“Yes, thanks,” Mumbo nodded, as Pearl leaned forwards.

“Can I have a cookie?”

“You’ve had seven,” Grian answered without looking at her.

“Eight,” Pearl grinned as she grabbed a cookie from the display case and took a bite.

Grian sprayed her again, sighing. “Sorry about her. I tried, but she’s very unkillable.”

“I should hope so, I have quite the army on my side,” Pearl grinned, sharp-toothed.

Grian ignored her. “That’s six fifty. It may be a minute, all my coworkers decided to ditch and leave me with this adopted disappointment.”

Pearl cackled through her biscuit, swinging her legs up to sit cross-legged on the counter.

“Feel free to take a seat while you wait,” Grian continued, turning to the coffee machine after checking that Scar’s payment went through. “I’ll call when it’s ready.”

Scar grabbed Mumbo’s wrist and dragged him over to a table with a call of “Thanks!”

“Right, mister Jumbo,” he declared, sitting down. “What were you doing this morning that took you so long?”

“Just some research,” Mumbo replied.

“On what?”

Mumbo hesitated, lowering his voice. “Well… on Watcher. Not because he’s done anything to me! Just so we have some basic patch notes on him, cause not much is known- what are you looking at me like that for?”

Scar smirked. “A guy tries to kill you once and you’re already finding out everything you can about him?”

Mumbo glared at him. “He tried to kill me 𝘵𝘸𝘪𝘤𝘦, for your information. And it’s my job. Plus I’m straight.”

“No you’re not,” Pearl called.

“Stop eavesdropping, this conversation is private,” Mumbo grumbled.

“You’re the only customers here, we can hear everything you’re saying,” Grian informed them.

“Oh that’s problematic,” Scar said. “You’re a civilian, that’s classified information you’ve just heard.”

“He won’t tell. And technically I’m a civilian too,” Pearl pointed out.

“Yeah, but you work for us. You know our identities anyway,” Scar said.

“And Grian’s my brother, he knows you anyway from how much I rant about how messy your desk is all the time.”

Scar blinked, looking between them. “You look nothing alike.”

“He’s adopted.”

“She’s adopted.”

Both statements were said at the same time, with the exact same tone.

“Wait, what? Who’s adopted?” Scar looked very baffled.

“We both are,” Grian answered. “How long has Pearl worked for you?”

“Four years,” Pearl said mournfully. “And they never asked.”

“You’re never there when I arrive!” Scar protested.

“I would be if you got up before ten,” Pearl replied.

“Hey, that’s not fair, I need my beauty sleep.”

“Clearly.”

Scar gasped affrontedly, taking a indignant bite of his cookie. “I’ll have you know I am extremely handsome, hence the na- this cookie is really good, can I have the recipe?”

“I’m not technically allowed to give it to you,” Grian replied, taking a photo of a sheet of paper. “However, if I were to send my sister a picture of the recipe, and she shared it with you, it technically wouldn’t be my fault. As long as my colleagues don’t find out, that is.”

Scar beamed. “I like you. You’re fun. How have we never seen you before?”

Grian pressed his lips together. “I dunno, you haven’t tried hard enough I guess.”

Scar blinked. “Yes. Maybe. Huh?”

Pearl swatted at Grian. “Stop it. You’re not helping matters.”

“I wasn’t trying to,” Grian stuck his tongue out at her, darting out, probably to make a coffee. Pearl followed, and Mumbo turned to Scar.

“Right, be honest here, are all the Hermits talking about me right now?”

Scar blinked. “Huh?”

“Did X just send you with me to make sure I don’t return too soon and interrupt them talking about me?” Mumbo asked.

“Um. Well, I’m not supposed to say anything-”

Mumbo groaned, flopping back on his seat. “They totally did. Can you please tell them to stop worrying about me?”

“Why shouldn’t we worry about you?” Scar frowned.

Mumbo sighed. “You sound like- ugh, never mind. It’s a little insulting that you’re only concerned when you think I only have a set amount of time to live.”

“Do you not think you have a time limit?” Scar asked.

“Nah, he’s not done with me yet. If he wanted to, he would’ve killed me during the ample opportunities he’s had.”

“So what does he want with you?” Scar asked.

“Maybe,” Mumbo said sarcastically, “just maybe, he might not want anything? You know, very occasionally, people just want to be nice.”

“Not when they’re a supervillain,” Scar pointed out.

“Everyone is who they are for a reason,” Grian said, two drinks in his hands. “Maybe ask him that if you see him again.”

“When,” Mumbo corrected automatically, then frowned. “Wait, no. Well-”

“Are you going to see him again?” Scar asked.

“Yes,” Mumbo said with certainty. “But I don’t know how I know that.”

“Instinct is usually trustworthy,” Pearl called from the back.

“But common sense is more reliable,” Scar countered.

Grian put his mocha in front of him. “Surely it’s a good thing if Mumbo knows they’ll meet again. You can get more info.” He looked at Mumbo, who fiddled with his hands.

Grian gave him the iced coffee and returned to the counter, wiping down the sides.

“That’s true, but it’s not good for Mumbo’s safety,” Scar answered.

“Don’t underestimate him,” Pearl said. “I reckon he could hold his own against Watcher.”

Mumbo gave her a small, surprised smile.

There was a chime as someone entered, and Grian vaulted over the counter. “Timmy!!! How was the date last night?”

“It was nice,” they said bashfully. “He’s cute.”

Pearl squealed excitedly. “You went on a date?! Spill everything!”

Timmy laughed slightly. “Yeah, his name’s Tango. We just went for a picnic a little way from the city, and he was really nice, so sweet, making sure I was comfortable and stuff. He seemed to genuinely care, you know?”

“Small world, huh?” Scar mentioned to Mumbo.

“Yeah. I don’t think Tango’s allowed to tell them his job though, so don’t mention anything,” Mumbo replied.

Timmy suddenly seemed to notice them.

“Oh, I didn’t realise you had customers, sorry.”

“Nah, it’s fine, they’re friends,” Pearl said.

“Oh, well, hello I guess. I’m Jimmy, he/him.”

“Nice to meet you,” Mumbo said. “I’m Mumbo, he/him.”

“Didn’t Grian call you Timmy?” Scar questioned.

“Yeah, he does that,” Jimmy sighed. “Nice to meet you too Mumbo. And you are?”

“Oh, Scar, he/him as well. Although we’d best be getting back to work soon.” Scar downed his drink and finished off the cookie. “Thank you very much Grian and Pearl, I’m sure we’ll be back at some point, but for now we bid you farewell.”

Mumbo sighed. “Can I get this in a takeaway cup please?” He gestured to his iced coffee.

“Sure,” Grian replied, taking it. “What makes you so eager to leave, Scar?”

“Nothing! Just, you know, hero- I mean, work- duties- and stuff!”

Pearl narrowed her eyes. “Is this about Tango?”

“No! Of course not, why would it-”

“I’m so confused,” Jimmy muttered.

“Me and you both, mate,” Mumbo said, taking the coffee back from Grian with a grateful smile.

“Thanks Grian. Goodbye, see you next time.”

“Yup, next time,” Grian replied as Mumbo followed Scar out the door.

“Tango!” Scar declared as he marched into the office, Mumbo trailing behind him.

“Uh oh,” Tango muttered, peering around his monitor screen. “What?”

“Why did you not tell us you had a date last night?”

Tango blushed. “Wh-who told you that?”

“Jimmy did,” Scar grinned. “It’s true then?”

Tango nodded, cheeks dark. “I didn’t know you know him.”

“We didn’t, we met him today, he’s friends with Pearl,” Mumbo said, putting his coffee on his desk. “I didn’t know you’re into guys.”

Tango buried his head in his hands.

“Aw, we support you Tango,” Scar smirked.

“That’s not what I’m worried about,” Tango replied, voice muffled. “Mumbo’s gay, I know you’re supportive.”

Mumbo blinked. “I’m not- I wear a suit every day, what makes you think I’m gay?”

“The iced tea,” Zedaph stated, nodding at it. “And, you know. Everything else.”

“What?” Mumbo was genuinely baffled.

“Wait, so Tango has a date? Who?” Impulse asked.

“Just a guy,” Tango shrugged. “Well, not just. He’s amazing. But it’s not important. Although he is. He deserves the world.”

Zedaph’s eyes lit up. “What’s he like?”

“He’s so adorable, all his friends tease him so he’s not used to being taken seriously, and he gets so sweet when I do so. And he tries to be really important and stuff and he’s just so dang cute!” Tango pressed his lips together, looking embarrassed.

“You clearly like him a lot, huh?” Impulse chuckled.

Tango nodded.

“What was his name?”

“Jimmy,” Tango replied, saying the name with obvious care.

“On no account should Jimmy be at all hurt,” Xisuma told them from the doorway to his office.

Tango jumped, turning to him. “Oh- okay.”

Xisuma laughed, walking over to them and patting his shoulder. “He clearly means a lot to you, hold him close.”

“I will,” Tango nodded.

“Good. And you two should be in the field in ten minutes, go get changed. And stay together, now that Watcher’s become more active.”

“Sir yes sir,” Scar saluted, grabbing Mumbo’s wrist with the other hand and dragging him to the wardrobe room.

“You can let go of me now,” Mumbo stated when they got there.

Scar dropped his arm. “Woe is me, I’ve been abandoned by my best friend and left to fend for myself on the streets.”

“Drama queen,” Mumbo replied, biting back a smile.

“Every good actor has to be,” Scar replied, grabbing his Hotguy suit and heading to the lockers. Mumbo grabbed his own costume and got changed in the other cubicle.

“Ready?” Scar asked, slinging his quiver on his back.

“Yup,” Mumbo answered, adjusting his mask.

“After you,” Scar gestured to the hatch that led to the roof.

Mumbo clambered out to find Watcher leaning against a chimney.

“You need security cameras on your roof,” Watcher stated.

“Clearly,” Mumbo replied. “How long have you been here?”

“About five minutes,” Watcher replied. He paused as Scar emerged. “It’s not your shift.”

“It isn’t.” Scar strung an arrow and aimed directly at Watcher.

“X made a buddie system since you threatened my life two too many times,” Mumbo sighed, stepping between Watcher and Hotguy. “We can talk about this.”

“What is there to talk about? He tried to kill you,” Scar stated. “Get out the way.”

“No,” Mumbo stated. “I won’t let you hurt him.”

Scar looked past him to see Watcher looking on with a surprised but fond smile.

“Why?” He asked.

“I agree,” Watcher inputted. “Why?”

Mumbo blinked. “Because- well- because-” he spluttered.

Scar stepped sideways, still aiming at Watcher, and Mumbo positioned himself between them again. “We’re heroes, it’s morally wrong to kill a villain,” Mumbo stated.

“And what’s the real reason?” Scar asked. “You stood between him and the arrow, it’s more than just morals.”

“That doesn’t matter,” Mumbo bristled. “Look, just put the bow down, dude.”

“If you explain why you’re standing up for him,” Scar stated.

“I have!” Mumbo replied.

“You know what,” Watcher said, stepping past Mumbo. “Hotguy, come with me. Not far, just a few rooftops away. I swear not to hurt you, I just want to talk.”

Scar hesitated, thinking it through, then nodded, following Watcher.

Mumbo waited for about five minutes before they returned, side by side.

“Alright, cool, shall we get to our patrol then?” Scar asked with an easy smile.

Mumbo blinked, glancing between them. “Um. Okay.”

Like before, when Mumbo got home after the shift, Watcher was balanced on his windowsill. Mumbo smiled, and let him in.

“Long time no see,” he joked as Watcher stepped across to wipe his shoes on the mat.

“It’s different with Scar,” Watcher hummed. “Not a bad different, but I like time with just you as well.”

“That’s fair enough I guess. Tea?”

“Of course,” Watcher smiled, settling on the couch.

“One milk and three sugars right?”

“Yes,” Watcher looked mildly surprised. “You remembered.”

“Can’t think why,” Mumbo chuckled. “You seem to have a sweet tooth.”

“Yeah,” Watcher grinned. “My sister keeps trying to hide the sugar, but I’m an evil gremlin who keeps buying more.”

Mumbo laughed, passing him a mug. “Glad to see my money’s going somewhere useful,” he joked, taking a sip.

“Oh!” Watcher perked up. “That reminds me, I sent an application letter to that college, and I’m having an interview in a few days.”

Mumbo grinned. “Oh, excellent! That’s great!”

Watcher smiled, half hiding it behind his mug.

A few hours later, Watcher noticed Mumbo hiding his fifth yawn, and chuckled.

“Sorry, you’re probably tired,” he said, standing up.

“No no, I don’t mind,” Mumbo assured him.

Watcher smiled. “Even so, I’ve been here a while.”

“See you next time?” Mumbo said hopefully.

The smile grew. “See you next time.”

The next day, Mumbo asked Doc for some parts and spent the morning tinkering with a grappling hook’s extension and durability. A little after midway through the morning, Tango stood from his desk, glancing around and grabbing his coat.

“Where are you off to?” Scar questioned, eyes narrowing.

“Just to go get a drink,” Tango said quickly.

“We’ll come with you!” Scar declared, grabbing Mumbo, who yelped.

“Uh, you don’t have to,” Tango suggested.

“Nonsense, we want to,” Scar smirked.

Tango groaned. “Fine, you got me, Jimmy’s shift just started at Evolution coffee shop.”

“Knew it,” grinned Scar. “We’re coming with you anyway, I need another one of those cookies.”

“Do I get any say in this?” Mumbo asked weakly, wrist still in Scar’s grip.

“Nope,” Scar declared. “Grab your jacket.”

Mumbo sighed heavily.

“Oh, you brought him!” Pearl said as they entered, hopping over the counter. “Excellent. Right, Tango, as Jimmy’s best friend first and foremost, I’m going to have to let you know that if I ever see him sad because of you, I will mess up your entire desk and then murder you in cold blood, mkay?”

“Was that in order of importance?” Grian called from the counter. “Or chronological?”

“Both,” Pearl replied. “You got that Tango?”

“Yup,” Tango swallowed. “Duly noted.”

“Good.” Pearl inhaled. “TIMMMYYYYYYY!!!!!!”

“Yeah?” Jimmy’s head peered around the door. Then he caught sight of the customers, and gave a happy gasp. “Tango!”

“Jimmy!” Tango grinned. “Hello!”

“Hi!” Jimmy smiled widely.

“Okay, they are kinda perfect for each other,” Scar remarked quietly to Pearl.

“They are,” Pearl agreed. Then she frowned. “But, at the same time, that’s what we thought about Jimmy and Scott.”

“Scott?” Mumbo asked.

“Jimmy’s ex. We don’t mention him,” Grian muttered, glancing at Jimmy and Tango, who were chatting obliviously.

“Anyway, what would you like to order?” He asked, louder.

“Hmm… I’ll have a large cappuccino, please. And another of your fabulous biscuits,” Scar decided.

“Okay, and Mumbo?” Grian looked up at him.

“Medium iced coffee, thanks,” Mumbo answered. “On Scar.”

“Hold on, why am I paying?” Scar asked.

“You dragged me here,” Mumbo pointed out.

“Against your will?”

“Well no, but against my consent,” Mumbo corrected.

“Six forty, Scar,” Grian smirked, tapping on the machine.

“I’ll shoot you,” Scar threatened him, tapping his card.

“You wouldn’t dare,” Grian egged.

“You sure about that?” Scar’s eyes flashed. “I have every single Hermit on my side.”

“Not all of them,” Grian countered, nodding at Mumbo, who was watching lostly. “He’s more powerful than you know.”

“And he’s smarter than you’d think, stop dropping hints,” Pearl interrupted.

“Are you talking about me?” Mumbo asked.

“Never mind then,” Pearl sighed.

Mumbo frowned.

Grian sighed, looking at the door as it swung shut. “Timmy’s ditched me for his boyfriend again.”

“How many people work here?” Mumbo asked.

“Me, Tim, Martyn, BigB, and Pearl’s like an honorary waiter. Netty still comes in sometimes too to see how we’re doing, but other than that it’s just us four,” Grian shrugged.

“So how come you’re always the one here when we are?” Scar asked.

“You’ve only been twice, at similar times,” Grian pointed out. “And yesterday I left just after you did, because Tim could take over. Clearly though, I’m stuck here for longer today. Martyn doesn’t come in for another two hours.”

“We can keep you company!” Scar declared. “I’ll go back to get our laptops and whatever it was you were doing Mumbo, and we can work here! Is that okay?”

Grian grinned. “Yeah, of course.”

“Can you bring all the pieces in the top drawer of my desk too please?” Mumbo asked.

“Yeah, sure,” Scar nodded, already halfway out the door. “Talk amongst yourselves until I’m back.”

Grian blinked. “Did he just school us?”

“I think so,” Mumbo answered.

“Weird.” Grian wrinkled his nose. “Anyway. What’s the stuff in your drawer you wanted?”

“Mechanical parts,” Mumbo answered, leaning on the counter. “I’m experimenting with a grappling hook to see if I can extend the reach and stuff.”

Grian was smiling proudly. “That sounds awesome. I thought GOAT was the one who made machinery, it’s nice that you help too.”

“Only recently started, I haven’t made anything yet, though I’ll test out the grappling hook tonight,” Mumbo said bashfully.

“That sounds fun,” Grian laughed.

“Yeah, though it may be a little chaotic. I may not be back for a few days if I’m in hospital.”

“Please try not to kill yourself with your own invention,” Grian laughed, although there was a hint of worry in his voice.

“I’m sure someone will be there to stop him getting too hurt,” Pearl called from the back, entering. “Here’s your iced tea. I’ll make Scar’s cappuccino when he gets back.”

“Thank you,” Mumbo said, taking a sip. “What did you mean by that though?”

“I’ve seen you with your little guardian angel.” Pearl’s smirk was aimed at them both, for some reason Mumbo could not imagine. “It’s kinda cute, enemies to lovers stuff.”

Mumbo glanced to the sides, avoiding eye contact. “I- I don’t know what you mean,” he insisted, throat dry.

He ignored the look Pearl shot at him, also not noticing Grian’s embarrassment.

“I’m back!” Scar announced, barging through the door with his hands full of bags. “You have a lot of machinery whatnot, Mr Jumbolio.”

“I know,” Mumbo said, seizing the opportunity to move to a table.

“What were you talking about, anyway?” Scar asked.

Pearl grinned deviously. “Just about Mumbo and Watcher’s little secret romance.”

“W- They aren’t dating!” Grian burst out. “Pearl just wants them to. Which won’t happen.”

“Why not?” Scar asked, grinning. “I think it could be cute.”

“Because- because-” Grian stammered, before catching sight of Mumbo, flaming face in his hands. “Clearly Mumbo isn’t comfortable with this, cut it out.” He turned and all but sprinted into the back room.

“Mumbo? You good?” Scar asked.

“Mhm,” Mumbo replied, not moving.

“Did we take it too far?” Pearl asked.

“No, it’s fine.” Mumbo removed his hands, dragging them down his face. “I just- I don’t want that sort of thing happening. Like, rumours about us. Because the other Hermits don’t even know we aren’t enemies, and we both want to keep it that way.”

“We won’t spread anything, pinky swear,” Scar said, locking pinkies with Mumbo. “Can we tease you about your potential love story in private?”

Mumbo chuckled, shaking fingers. “I don’t mind, as long as it isn’t in front of people.”

He glanced at the door nervously. “Grian won’t tell anyone, will he? He seemed a bit… antsy.”

“He won’t tell a soul,” Pearl promised. “I know my brother like I know my own mind, you will never find anyone as trusting or as kind.”

“Is that a Hamilton reference?” Scar asked.

“Maybe,” Pearl replied slyly.

At that moment, Grian returned with a mug, plating a cookie. “There’s yours, Scar.”

“Thank you good sir,” Scar beamed, setting them on the table as he took a seat. He passed Mumbo the grappling hook and a bag of various other mechanical parts.

He proceeded to spend the next hour or so tinkering around with the reach, occasionally accidentally dragging a chair across the room.

Every so often he would look up to catch Grian leaning on the counter, watching Mumbo when he wasn’t serving customers. The first few times Grian hastily glanced away, but then he started holding Mumbo’s gaze, smiling bashfully.

Mumbo just smiled back, then returned to his work.

He winced as he tried to pry two pieces of metal apart, only succeeding in shifting them a millimetre, and glanced up again, catching Grian’s eye and beckoning him over.

“I don’t suppose you have any oil, do you?” Mumbo asked.

“As long as vegetable or olive oil works, I expect so,” Grian shrugged. “It’s in the back. Do you wanna come with? cause we may have other types.”

Mumbo cautiously followed him through the hatch in the counter and into the back room.

It wasn’t what he was expecting, though he hadn’t had a clear vision. The reality was a messy kitchen, most of the counters covered with drying racks and tea towels. There were chairs dotted around, and a table with dirty plates stacked.

“Excuse the mess,” Grian told him. “We all sort of use this as a chill-out space.”

“That’s a nice dynamic,” Mumbo observed.

Grian snorted, crouching down to look through a cupboard. “We’re like siblings, but the type that constantly tease and fight one another and would rather die than admit their love for each other.”

Mumbo chuckled. “I know what you mean.”

Grian pulled out a few glass bottles, putting them on the counter and standing up. “That’s all we have, take your pick.”

“Thank you.” Mumbo cautiously took the sunflower oil. “I don’t need much, just enough to get it moving.”

“How do you know which part does what?” Grian asked.

“Well it’s actually quite simple,” Mumbo began.

He rambled about mechanics as Grian listened for about ten minutes for realising what he was doing.

“Oh, goodness. I’m so sorry, I got carried away,” he flushed.

“Don’t apologise,” was Grian’s answer. “I don’t understand a thing, but I like hearing you talk.”

“Why?” Mumbo blinked.

Grian paused, thinking about it. “I guess cause it makes you happy. It makes me happy to see you passionate about something you enjoy.”

“That’s sweet,” Mumbo remarked without thinking.

Grian was silent, and Mumbo cleared his throat. “Not that- I mean, I didn’t mean to, um…”

“Yep, got it,” Grian noted. “Shall we, um…” he glanced towards the door. “Pearl isn’t technically qualified to serve, so…”

“Right, of course,” Mumbo nodded, clutching the bottle of sunflower oil. He stepped back through to the café, sliding into his seat again and uncapping the oil.

“What did you two do in there?” Scar raised a suggestive eyebrow. “You were gone for quite a while.”

Mumbo’s face heated up. “We were just talking. I think I made things awkward,” he sighed.

“How?” Scar asked, moving his laptop aside.

“I called him sweet, cause he said he liked me being happy. Then it got awkward and he made an excuse to leave,” Mumbo told him quietly, glancing to the counter where Grian was chatting to another blond, probably a coworker.

“I expect he was just embarrassed,” Scar chuckled. “Don’t trouble your mind too much. Mind if we head back to HQ? I need to transfer this onto my computer, and we should get some lunch soon as well.”

“Fine by me,” Mumbo replied, oiling the grapple and shimmying it apart. He smiled, satisfied, then returned it to the bag Scar had brought for it.

He took the oil up to the counter, smiling awkwardly at Grian.

“Um, thanks for letting me, y’know… I think Scar’s decided we should go back…”

Grian nodded. “Okay, see you later.”

“So, who do you prefer, Grian or Watcher?” Scar asked as they walked back to HQ.

Mumbo blinked. “Uh. What? Why?”

Scar shrugged. “Just wondering.”

“I’m not answering that,” Mumbo decided. “Knowing you, you’ll instantly rush to tell them both.”

“Of course not,” Scar drawled. “I would never do such a thing.”

“You would, and you know it.” Mumbo punched in the keycode to the HQ building and held the door for Scar.

“Why thank you. I wonder if Tango’s back yet,” Scar pondered.

Mumbo rolled his eyes, but let him change the conversation topic.

“You were a while,” Iskall mentioned as they entered.

“Yeah, we did some work at the cafe for a change of scenery,” Scar explained, slumping into his chair and leaning his cane on the desk.

“The same place Tango’s boyfriend works?” Iskall asked.

“Yeah, and Mumbo’s soon-to-be-boyfriend,” Scar replied.

Mumbo reddened. “That is not true.”

“You spent ten minutes in the back with him and came back blushing,” Scar pointed out.

“We were just talking!”

“Right,” Scar nodded patronisingly. “I believe you.”

Mumbo huffed, sitting down to unpack his bag of mechanics.

He spent the rest of the day working on various contraptions, sometimes discussing them with Doc or Zed, but mainly working alone.

Xisuma touched his shoulder a while later, making Mumbo jump.

“Sorry for startling you, but it’s time to go home,” he told him.

Mumbo blinked, looking around the empty office. “Oh.” He glanced at the clock, which read ten o’clock. “So it is. Sorry.”

“No worries. It’s nice seeing you so absorbed in something,” Xisuma smiled. “But go take a rest, you’ve been working hard.”

Mumbo stood up, stretching. “Thanks, X. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“No, have a day off. I’ll see you the next day.”

Mumbo raised his eyebrows. “Are you sure?”

“Positive. Go on.”

“Okay,” Mumbo said. “See you overmorrow then.”

Although he was grateful for the day off, Mumbo realised it was probably to minimise chances of him meeting Watcher again. He almost laughed at the irony as he climbed onto a roof to test his grappling hook.

It worked, but too well, catapulting him through the air far faster than he’d expected.

As he was preparing to splat against a building, someone caught him in the air, lowering to the rooftop ground.

“You’re going to kill yourself doing that.”

Mumbo blinked up at Watcher. “You have wings.”

“Really, Sherlock?” Watcher asked dryly.

“You didn’t have wings before.”

“I don’t show them, cause they don’t fit my theme, and they’re a weakness,” Watcher explained.

“They’re pretty though,” Mumbo pointed out.

“You realise we’re meant to be deadly enemies, right?” Watcher chuckled.

“Yeah, why?”

“You are literally in my arms, calling me pretty. That’s not particularly threatening behaviour.”

Mumbo blinked, realising their positioning. “Oh. Right. Yes. Um.”

Watcher chuckled. “Promise not to go hurtling into walls and I’ll put you down.”

“I wasn’t trying to!” Mumbo protested. “I was testing out a grappling hook, but I think I made it too powerful.”

Watcher sighed fondly. “Make sure I’m there next time you test it then.”

Mumbo slumped his head on Watcher’s shoulder. “I don’t need supervision,” he pouted.

“Not for most things, no. But I imagine a lot of people would rather you don’t die to a brick wall and piece of fancy rope.” Watcher brought his wings partly around Mumbo, shielding him slightly.

“It’s a grappling hook,” Mumbo told him.

“Yeah, yeah,” Watcher shrugged. “Same thing.”

Mumbo chuckled. “It’s really not.”

“Close enough then. Do you swear not to use it when there’s no one to catch you when you fall?”

“If,” Mumbo corrected sulkily. “And yes, I promise.”

“Good. You may get down now, if you want.”

Mumbo flushed. “What do you mean, if I want?”

“Well, I’m not forcing you. And it’s been twice now that I’ve given you the opportunity, and you’ve evaded it both times.”

Mumbo pressed himself against Watcher. “I don’t get a lot of physical touch. This feels nice.”

“Oh,” Watcher said softly. “Okay.”

Mumbo gave a content smile, eyes slipping closed.

When he woke up he was cuddled up to Watcher, who was also sleeping, both of them sitting against a fire escape.

There were hushed mutters, and Mumbo looked up, blinking at Cleo, Etho and Impulse.

They ceased their words immediately, staring at him. Mumbo shrank from their harsh gazes.

“M- Lenitus,” Cleo whisper-shouted. “What in voids name do you think you’re doing?”

“Um,” Mumbo swallowed. “Well. I was asleep?”

“With Watcher.”

“Yes.” He winced. “It’s not what it looks like?”

“It’s exactly what it looks like,” Scar sauntered up. “And it’s frickin adorable. Look at them! Look how gosh darn cute that is! I ship it.”

Mumbo sighed, although he appreciated Scar for lessening the attention on him.

“You can’t- they’re enemies!” Impulse exclaimed.

“Enemies to lovers,” Scar grinned. “C’mon, you can’t tell me you can’t see something here.” He gestured at them, and Mumbo glanced at Watcher, who was still holding him.

“For what it’s worth,” Etho volunteered. “I think Hotguy’s right. They are cute together. It sure makes Watcher seem less threatening.”

“All you need to do is not tell anyone that Mumbo’s technically betraying us,” Scar said. “He hasn’t given away any information or anything, I know that much.”

Cleo sighed, fixing them with a glare. “Fine. But I’ve got my eye on you, Jumbo.”

“No real names,” Impulse reminded.

“He knows it anyway,” Mumbo told him, earning an eye roll from Cleo. “And he’s asleep, and probably won’t be too pleased to wake up and find you four all here.”

“Hint taken,” Etho chuckled. “We’ll leave you to couple stuff.”

Mumbo mouthed a thanks to Scar as they left, who returned a grin and salute before darting out of sight.

Watcher shifted a wing over Mumbo, and he settled down again, curling up.

The second time he woke was to Watcher nudging him.

“Lenitus, wake up. Sun’s rising.”

Mumbo yawned, blinking his eyes open.

“Good morning,” Watcher smiled.

“Morning,” Mumbo hummed, observing the way the sunrise sparkled in Watcher’s eyes.

“Surprising to get through the entire night without being caught by patrol,” Watcher remarked.

Mumbo swallowed. “Um. About that.”

Watcher instantly became guarded, wings flicking.

“Who?”

“Medusa, Naruto and Illuminate. But Hotguy defended us, and they agreed not to tell X. You may have lost a little reputation, but other than that I don’t think there’s too much harm done.”

Watcher sighed. “Okay. I can deal with that.”

“Sorry,” Mumbo said quietly.

“Not your fault,” Watcher nudged him. “And it was worth it. You’re an annoyingly pretty sleeper.”

“I could say the same to you,” Mumbo chuckled softly. “Not that I’ve seen your face, obviously.”

Watcher smiled silently.

“I have a day off,” Mumbo mentioned. “If you wanna, like, come to my place. If you’re free too, that is. And if you want, no pressure.”

Watcher laughed lightly. “I’d love to, Lenitus.”

Mumbo turned his face away to hide his grin, despite Watcher being able to see it still, and giggling. “It’s cute that you care so much.”

“I can see why Hotguy ships us,” Mumbo flushed. “Quite the flirter, aren’t you?”

“Only for you, darling,” Watcher purred.

Mumbo’s mouth hung, cheeks darkening considerably. “Right,” he squeaked. “Yup. Cool. Nice. Fun.”

Watcher giggled again. “You get flustered easily.”

“Only cause you’re so- actually I’m not going to finish that,” Mumbo coughed. “Um. My place?”

“How forward of you,” Watcher smirked. “Take me out to dinner first.”

“I’ll take that as a yes,” Mumbo squeaked, pointedly stepping in the direction of his apartment.

Watcher grinned widely, bouncing after him. “You’re cute.”

“And you’re insufferable,” Mumbo replied, no heat in his words.

“But you love me,” Watcher sung, slinging an arm around him, despite the height difference.

Mumbo rolled his eyes, heat spreading across his cheeks. “That’s irrelevant.”

Watcher gasped happily, turning his head to him. “So you do love me?”

Mumbo shrugged away from him to jump between buildings. “Hotguy ships us, you know. He keeps trying to ask me to choose between you and a guy I know.”

Watcher jumped across the gap, flapping his wings slightly for momentum. “What guy?”

“A barista. He’s cute,” Mumbo shrugged, although his pink face betrayed him.

“So what’s your answer?” Watcher tilted his head. “Me or him?”

“Not answering. And I didn’t tell Scar either, so you can’t say it’s just cause you’re one of the options,” Mumbo huffed playfully as they reached his apartment roof.

“Fair enough,” Watcher replied, cocking his head as Mumbo knelt, lifting open a hatch. “That doesn’t seem very secure.”

“We can all defend ourselves,” Mumbo shrugged, propping it up. “I’ll go first, in case anyone’s around. Just let it close after you, yeah?”

“Sure thing,” Watcher nodded.

Mumbo clambered down the ladder inside, checking the corridor before gesturing for Watcher to follow.

They miraculously managed to make it to Mumbo’s apartment without a hitch, and Watcher settled into his usual armchair, arranging his wings so they didn’t catch on the back of the chair.

“Tea?” Mumbo asked, and Watcher nodded.

“Of course.”

Mumbo chuckled, heading into the kitchen.

He put Watcher’s in front of him before settling into his own armchair. Watcher was on his phone, still with parrot stickers.

“Sorry for being antisocial, but I just got an email from that architecture place,” Watcher told him.

Mumbo took his mask off. “What does it say?”

Watcher scanned it, than yelped, jumping up and flinging himself at Mumbo in a hug.

“I got in!” He grinned widely.

“That’s brilliant,” Mumbo beamed, hugging him tightly. “Well done!”

Watcher clutched him, face pressed to his neck. “Thank you,” he murmured.

“You’re welcome mate,” Mumbo smiled. “I’m glad. You deserve this.”

“I’m a supervillain,” Watcher reminded him, pulling away a little so they were facing one another, Watcher still in Mumbo’s arms.

“I stand by my words,” Mumbo said firmly. “Do you want to call your sister? She’ll want to know.”

“Oh yeah, of course.” Watcher moved away, retrieving his phone from where it had fallen on the carpet.

“I think I have some cake somewhere, I’ll find it while you’re busy,” Mumbo decided, striding towards the kitchen.

He ignored Watcher’s conversation as he prepared a few slices of a cake he’d made a few days previously, then waited until the voices had stopped before returning with it.

“Cake?” He offered.

Watcher’s eyes lit up further.

“Yes please,” he grinned easily, and Mumbo passed him his plate.

“So, now I’m officially in the college,” Watcher started. “I know you said stuff about paying, but it’s not necessary. I have enough to scrape through, if I work over and borrow from my sister. She’s totally fine with it, before you ask, and-”

“Um,” Mumbo interrupted politely. “It’s kind of too late? I organised a monthly payment for a year. And I can’t cancel it at this point.”

Watcher blinked at him. “Mumbo! What if I hadn’t gotten in?”

“I trusted you would. Correctly, as we see.”

“You didn’t know that though,” Watcher huffed, a smile playing on his lips, visible even under the cloth. “Gods, what did I do to deserve you?”

“What do you mean?” Mumbo asked cautiously.

“You’re so incredibly kind,” Watcher explained. “I’m your goddamn enemy, for fuck’s sake! You saw me weaponless, fully aware that I’ve killed people, and instead of trying to catch me you started a conversation! Even when I threatened you, you didn’t fight back! You’re completely at ease with me, and by our second meeting you were offering me money and getting me a career. You’re literally the nicest person I’ve ever met. That, or you are madly suicidal and trust far too easily.”

Mumbo chuckled at the last line, although his cheeks were pink. He rubbed the back of his neck. “Well, thank you. That’s very kind. But I- it’s not like I go around doing that kind of thing, before you put me on too high a pedestal.”

“Why me then?” Watcher asked earnestly, leaning forward.

Mumbo hesitated. “Well- um… y’know what, I’ll get back to you on that one.”

Watcher chuckled, taking a bite of cake.

“This is nice, where’d you get it?”

“Thanks. I made it actually, want the recipe?”

“Yes please,” Watcher nodded.

They chatted for another few hours before there was a knock at the door.

Mumbo’s eyes widened. “Uh oh,” he whispered.

“Quite,” Grian agreed. “I don’t suppose you have somewhere for me to hide?”

Mumbo glanced at his bedroom. “Um, I have a wardrobe?”

Grian stared at him. “Mumbo, are you asking me to go in the closet?”

Pink dusted Mumbo’s cheeks as he muffled a laugh. “I guess I am. Will that be a problem?”

“I’m gay as hell,” Watcher stated, marching into the bedroom. “Shout when you want me back.”

Mumbo waited a few more seconds before opening the door to a very unimpressed-looking Cleo.

“Let me guess, Watcher’s hiding under the table?” She asked, sweeping into the apartment.

“No!” Mumbo assured them. He hesitated. “Not under the table.”

Cleo rolled her eyes. “I should be more mad, but Scar’s right, you two make a good couple.”

“We aren’t a couple,” Mumbo replied automatically.

“Not yet you aren’t,” Cleo quipped back. “X is gonna kill you.”

Mumbo wilted. “I’m aware. So will the media.”

Cleo sucked in a breath. “Shit, I hadn’t thought of that. You better get a good excuse ready, or you’ll be slaughtered.”

Mumbo shrugged. “Worse comes to worse, I can retire. Or maybe become a villain.”

Cleo raised an eyebrow. “Are you sure you wanna be telling me this, buddy?”

Mumbo pressed his lips together, and Cleo cackled.

“Alright, I’ll let you be now, have fun with your boyfriend,” they grinned, giving a mock-salute before leaving. Mumbo sighed heavily before calling out to Watcher.

“Your walls are thin,” he remarked upon returning. “And how come suits are literally the only thing you wear?”

Mumbo shrugged. “I dunno, I like them. How much of that conversation did you hear?”

“All of it, I expect,” Watcher replied, smirking. “You’re very insistent that we aren’t a couple.”

“That’s cause we aren’t,” Mumbo stated.

Watcher smirked silently.

“Watcher,” Mumbo warned. “We aren’t a couple.”

“I didn’t say we were,” Watcher grinned slyly.

“No,” Mumbo frowned. “You didn’t.”

Watcher chuckled. “I’ve confused you, haven’t I?”

“Completely, yes,” Mumbo nodded. “Um, conversation.”

“Conversation indeed,” Watcher agreed fondly. “Shall we go somewhere?”

Mumbo blinked. “Where?”

“I dunno, just wander around on rooftops. It’s a nice day,” he nodded at the window.

“That’s fair enough I guess.” Mumbo grabbed his mask from the countertop. “Shall we?”

They evaded heroes for about an hour, chatting and laughing together like children sneaking around the house without being caught by the parents that didn’t know they were playing the game.

Then Watcher stopped over a shaded valley. “Is that…?” He trailed off, then snapped into action, wings spreading as he jumped down.

Mumbo observed the scene as he climbed after: Jimmy, the guy from the coffee shop, was laying in the mud, red staining his clothes. There had been another person there, likely the attacker, but Watcher had scared them off with a shot to the torso. Then Watcher rushed to Jimmy, kneeling by his side and applying pressure to the wound. Mumbo approached cautiously.

“Who else knows?” Jimmy was asking weakly.

“Pearl does, and Hotguy, the hero- Lenitus doesn’t though, don’t-”

Jimmy grimaced, and Watcher cut himself off. “Mumbo, do you have any medical equipment on you?”

Mumbo shook his head. “I can get someone here in two minutes, but they’d see you-”

“Don’t care, he’ll die without,” Watcher said firmly.

Mumbo sent out a distress alert with his coords and Jimmy’s name, and they waited.

Watcher’s hands were covered in Jimmy’s blood by the time Xisuma, Tango and Stress arrived.

Tango ignored everyone but Jimmy, sprinting and falling to his knees by him.

“Hey songbird, I’m here,” he murmured. “How’re you holding up?”

“Not terribly, considering,” Jimmy laughed paindly. “I’d be dead by now if it weren’t for Watcher though.”

X had Watcher at sword point by that point, but he simply lifted his chin so the blade didn’t cut him and stayed put. “Arrest me if you want, but I’m what’s keeping this civilian from bleeding out, so I won’t move until he’s stable,” he declared.

“Watcher’s right,” Stress said briskly, pulling out supplies. “Stab wound?”

“Yeah, I don’t think it hit anything major,” Watcher replied.

As they were crowding around Jimmy, Xisuma turned to Mumbo.

“What happened, Mumbo?”

“There was someone threatening Jimmy, and Watcher stepped in and shot them. I don’t know where they went, I called you guys and waited with Watcher. He hasn’t done anything bad to Jimmy, as far as I know.”

X frowned, nodding curtly. “Alright, thanks for letting me know.”

“He’s right, though,” Mumbo added hesitantly. “Without Watcher, Jimmy would be dead for sure.”

“That doesn’t excuse the other people he’s killed,” X said firmly. “You’re very lucky he was occupied and didn’t hurt you just now.”

“He wouldn’t,” Mumbo replied with certainty.

“Don’t be ridiculous, I’d kill you in a heartbeat,” Watcher replied, standing up and wiping blood on his clothes. “Am I being arrested now?”

“Yes, give Lenitus all your weapons,” Xisuma ordered. “And don’t try anything, we’re both armed.”

“Are we?” Mumbo raised an eyebrow. “News to me.”

Watcher chuckled, unloading his belt of weapons and piling them in Mumbo’s arms.

“You are now. This may take a while, by the way.”

It did take several minutes before Watcher was weaponless, and Mumbo’s load got heavier and heavier.

“Are you done yet?” He puffed.

Watcher hid a smirk. “Nearly,” he replied, pulling a small knife out of his boot. “There, all done.”

“Are you sure?” X asked. “You’ll be searched at the prison, so there’s no point hiding anything.”

“Yeah, that’s everything,” Watcher replied, holding out his hands. Xisuma snapped handcuffs onto them.

“Is he gonna be alright?” Watcher called back.

“Yup! He’ll be right as rain in a few weeks,” Stress replied cheerfully. “He’ll probably be out of hospital by the time you break out.”

Mumbo snorted, turning it into a cough.

“Me? Break out?” Watcher drawled. “I would never.”

“You won’t be able to, hopefully,” Xisuma frowned. “Mumbo, mind delivering him to the holding cells at HQ temporarily?”

Mumbo nodded, putting the weapons down and cautiously taking Watcher’s hand to lead him.

“So,” Watcher started when they were out of range. “You’ve got me in handcuffs. There’s quite a lot to explore there.”

Mumbo’s face went through a variety of different expressions, and Watcher cackled. “Kidding, but that was priceless.”

Mumbo sighed. “You’re being arrested, buddy. Now isn’t really the laughing time.”

Watcher shrugged. “I’ll be fine, just kinda annoying that I’ll miss the start of college next week.”

Mumbo hesitated. “Y’know, if you were to escape on the way to the prison-”

“Then you’d be the next prime suspect,” Watcher interrupted. “I love you, but I’m not doing that.”

Mumbo was silent for a moment. “What about your sister? She’ll be worried,” he pointed out.

“I’ll text her,” Watcher decided, managing to get his phone out.

They paused for a moment on a rooftop, leaning against a fire escape as Watcher texted before handing Mumbo his phone. “Here, I don’t want them searching through it. Hide it well though, and if anyone asks it’s the coffee shop guy’s phone he left at your house.”

Mumbo blinked. “Isn’t that throwing him a little under the bus?”

Watcher huffed through a smile. “You being a nice person is ruining all my plans. He won’t know, or care, alright?”

“Okay,” Mumbo agreed hesitantly.

“Thanks,” Watcher smiled. “And M- Lenitus?”

“Yeah?”

“Don’t beat yourself up. I’m a villain, it was only a matter of time. I’ll come visit you when I escape, yeah?”

Mumbo nodded, tears stinging his eyes. “The cells at HQ are ridiculously high security, and you won’t stand a chance getting out of prison. They’ll probably put you in Pandora.”

“I’ll get out,” Watcher said confidently. “But if I don’t- I’d appreciate a visit every once in a while. Not too often, in case-” he stopped as Mumbo flung himself into his arms, clutching him.

“Of course I’ll visit, you spoon. Heck, say the word and I’ll break you out.”

Watcher’s eyes widened. “No, Mumbo. You can’t put yourself at risk for me. We’re supposed to be enemies.”

“I wish we weren’t,” Mumbo huffed. “Pyramus and Thisbe, we can break down the wall.”

Watcher’s eyes were sad. “They both died, Mumbo.”

His heart crumbled.

“Here,” Watcher said softly. “Close your eyes.”

Mumbo obediently shut them. He gasped a moment after when lips pressed against his forehead.

“I’ll be fine,” Watcher promised with the voice changer returned.

Mumbo kept his eyes closed, a tear slipping down his cheek. Watcher swiped it away with a hand on his jaw.

“Trust me,” he whispered.

Mumbo swallowed. “Okay,” he breathed.

It hurt. It really hurt, giving Watcher in.

As soon as they stepped inside the HQ office, all eyes were on them.

“Oh no,” Scar whispered.

“Is that…” Iskall trailed off.

Mumbo swallowed. “X caught Watcher.”

“He’s shorter than I expected him to be,” False called, feet on her desk as she sharpened a sword.

“Hey! I’m not that short,” Watcher said indignantly.

“Bdubs, come have a height comparison,” Keralis called.

Watcher made a face when Bdubs stood beside him. “I feel targeted. C’mon guys, all I did was blow up a few buildings!”

Impulse snorted. “I think that justifies a little teasing, surely.”

“You’re already imprisoning me, this is just bullying,” Watcher shot back, grinning. “Although if this is prison, I could get used to it.”

“It’s a shame,” Etho spoke up. “If you weren’t a villain, you’d make a good Hermit.”

Watcher paused. “Is it too late for a redemption arc?” He got a laugh for that.

“Careful though, X isn’t quite so lenient,” Zed said. “He’s still pretty pissed about you threatening his favourite child.”

Watcher raised an eyebrow at Mumbo. “Favourite child, huh?”

Mumbo scoffed. “Okay, that’s quite obviously not true.”

“Why wouldn’t it be?” Watcher raised an eyebrow.

Mumbo blinked. “Huh?”

“Why wouldn’t you be the favourite child? You give likeable vibes.”

“Likeable vibes?” Mumbo repeated incredulously.

“Yup,” Watcher grinned.

“Do you have to flirt in front of the entire precinct?” Scar sighed.

Mumbo flushed. “We aren’t flirting!“

“Yeah, what he said,” Watcher agreed, leaning against him.

“Don’t tell dad, but who agrees that they could be a couple,” Scar asked the Hermits. Most hands went up.

“Damnit Scar,” Mumbo muttered.

“You’re married now,” Scar decided, grinning widely. “Pour the champagne.”

“As lovely as this wedding is,” Watcher drawled. “I’m meant to be in a cell somewhere, and X is on his way back.” He took off the tracking device on the wrist, chucking it to Scar before turning to Mumbo. “Will you escort me to my lodgings, my beloved husband?”

“You’re insufferable,” Mumbo told him, pink spreading across his face. “Come on.”

Watcher grinned at him.

“So now I’ve met your family…” he started as they left.

“Don’t finish that,” Mumbo sighed. “At least they don’t seem too mad at you.”

“They’re nice,” Watcher hummed.

Mumbo fumbled with his key card, swiping it several times to let them into the cells. “They’re annoying as heck, but I love them,” he responded. “Similarly to a little bird I know.”

Watcher gasped, hand to his heart. “Annoying?! Me?!”

Mumbo smiled at him fondly. “Spoon.” Then he pulled him in for a hug. “I’ll miss you.” He pressed a kiss to Watcher’s forehead, an echo of before.

“You’ll see me soon,” Watcher promised. He stepped inside the cell, pulling the door closed.

Mumbo put a hand on the lock, hesitating.

“Go on,” Watcher murmured. “Lock it. Seal the crack in the wall.”

Mumbo’s face crumpled, and he turned his head away. “Watcher…”

“Lenitus. Do it. Please.”

Mumbo swallowed.

And locked the door.

“How’re you holding up?”

Mumbo barely spared Scar a glance when he sunk into his office chair. “I’m fine.”

“No you aren’t,” Scar replied. “You can talk to me if you’re struggling without him.”

“I can still see him, it isn’t as if-” Mumbo swallowed. “He’s the one who lost his freedom. I shouldn’t-”

“It’s completely justified,” Scar hummed. “And even if it weren’t, it’s still valid to feel emotions.”

Mumbo was spared from having to answer by X’s arrival.

“Which cell is he in?”

Mumbo swallowed. “Uh, the first one. I didn’t look at the number.”

Xisuma nodded. “Thank you for taking care of that, I know it must’ve been hard for you.”

Mumbo jolted, staring at him. “What? Why would it be hard for me?” He laughed nervously.

Xisuma frowned. “Because he threatened you? I’d be pretty scared of him in your position.”

“O-oh, right.” Mumbo slumped.

“Why, is there another reason?” Xisuma narrowed his eyes.

“No, nothing, never mind,” Mumbo said quickly. He didn’t call Scar out for his sad glance in their direction.

“If you’re sure,” Xisuma replied uncertainly. “This was meant to be your day off. Go home, have a rest.”

Mumbo nodded. “Yes d- Xisuma.”

Scar burst through his front door the next day, startling Mumbo from his seat.

“What the- you could knock at least,” he sighed.

“I don’t think I will,” Scar replied smugly. “We, mister depressed, are going to go visit Watcher.”

Mumbo hesitated. “I want to, but so soon?”

Scar narrowed his eyes. “I know you don’t give jackshit about your own safety, so what’s this about?”

“Nothing! I just don’t think-”

“Oh, you blame yourself, don’t you? Well that’s silly,” Scar told him. “He completely chose that in order to save Jimmy, you aren’t to blame in the slightest.”

Mumbo laughed dryly. “Try telling my heart that.”

Scar marched forward, grabbing him by the wrist. “Right, that’s it, you damn Romeo. You no longer get a choice in this.”

“I didn’t expect one,” Mumbo rolled his eyes.

A few heroes gave them knowing glances when Scar dragged Mumbo into the office and pushed him in the direction of the cells.

“Go on, idiot, talk to your husband.”

“We aren’t married,” Mumbo sighed, but continued into the prison area anyway.

Watcher was curled up on the floor when he entered, head on his arms as he rested.

Mumbo watched him silently for a moment, a fond smile creeping over his face. The Watcher started, blinking for a moment before recognising him.

“Mumbo!” He jumped up. “Wait, already? Isn’t it a little risky?”

“I thought so, but Scar practically forced me, claiming I’m depressed or whatever.”

Mumbo gave a laugh to lighten the statement, but Watcher frowned. “Are you?”

“No! I’m fine,” Mumbo claimed. “You’re the one locked up, why would I-” he swallowed. “There’s no reason for me-”

Watcher stepped forward, reaching a hand through the bars. Mumbo clutched it as if it would disappear if he let go.

“You’re allowed to be upset, love,” Watcher murmured, squeezing his hand. “I mean, I’m meant to be your enemy-”

Mumbo laughed sadly. “We know that’s a lie. I don’t think we were ever meant to be enemies.”

“Do you believe in fate?” Watcher asked softly.

Mumbo smiled. “I’ll believe in anything that led me to you.”

“Oh, Mumbo,” Watcher whispered, pressing himself against the bars that separated them.

The door slammed open before they could do anything, and they sprang apart.

Gem marched in, ignoring them for a moment as she swiped a card across the lock and flung the cage door open.

“You get five minutes together, alright? Just because even the cameras are getting bored of your pining. Mumbo, get in. Please don’t break him out when there’s video footage of me being involved.”

“Thank you, Gem,” Mumbo smiled warmly.

Gem nodded. “Go on, before I change my mind. I’ll be back in a few minutes to let you out. If X finds out, you accidentally locked yourself in, got it?”

Mumbo nodded, darting into the cell. Gem locked it behind him before leaving.

“That’s very kind of them,” Watcher remarked.

“Gem’s brilliant,” Mumbo smiled.

“Clearly,” Watcher chuckled. His eyes softened, and he opened his arms to Mumbo.

He fell into them, clutching Watcher close. “Watcher-” he struggled. “I- sorry. I know you said I shouldn’t blame myself-”

“Mumbo Jumbo, I chose to do this. I was fully aware of the consequences. It was complete coincidence that you were even with me at the time! If your brain still thinks you hold a drop of responsibility over this, I want words with it.”

Mumbo chuckled wetly. “Thanks buddy. That helps.”

“It better. You are an amazing person, Mumbo. It’s painful that you can’t see that.”

Mumbo sniffed, smiling. “You gotta stop with the compliments mate, I’m tearing up-”

Grian giggled, letting out a soft chirp. He pulled a face. “Darn instincts.”

Mumbo cocked his head, and Grian elaborated.

“As an avian, I need a certain amount of attention, I guess. And also the bird in me doesn’t much like being caged.”

Mumbo frowned. “Would it be better to tell people, so you’re moved somewhere with better hybrid accommodation?”

“No,” Watcher shook his head, “I don’t want them finding out my weakness.”

“Weakness?” Mumbo echoed.

“Wings are easy to break, and extremely painful when done so,” Watcher explained. “I don’t want that information in the wrong hands.”

“Oh,” Mumbo said. “That doesn’t seem right.”

Watcher shrugged. “Not much we can do about it. Worst case scenario is that I never show my wings for the rest of my life and they become unusable.”

“That’s not good at all,” Mumbo frowned.

Watcher just shrugged again. Then Mumbo noticed him swaying slightly.

“Are you alright?”

Watcher nodded. “Yeah, fine.”

Mumbo raised an eyebrow, and Watcher drooped. “I haven’t been able to get much sleep, and I don’t know who’s in charge of feeding me but they’re doing a pretty bad job. Mind if I sit down?”

“Of course! Oh gosh, that’s not good, why haven’t they given you food? Have you at least had water?”

Watcher winced. “…maybe?”

Mumbo frowned, sitting against the wall beside Watcher. “That’s bad, I’ll talk to someone.”

“Then they’ll know you visited me though,” Watcher warned.

“That probably isn’t too much of a problem,” Mumbo said doubtfully. “I mean, Scar’s not exactly subtle about shipping us, you saw what happened yesterday.”

Watcher chuckled slightly. “That’s true. What about X though? Have you talked to him?”

Mumbo shook his head. “Not much, really. I mean- he’s like a father to me, but I think it’s both sides of the parent persona. This is kinda equivalent to me sneaking out without permission to see a secret lover, except if I get found out the entire city will know.”

Watcher frowned. “Maybe you should tell him. This is harming your relationship with him, and I expect, once he gets over the shock, he’ll help you get out of the legal stuff.”

“He’ll stop me from seeing you though,” Mumbo pointed out.

“I see the parallels,” Watcher chuckled. Then he sobered. “That- as much as I hate to say it, that might be for the best, Mumbo.”

His mouth dried. “…What?”

Watcher curled in on himself slightly. “What we have- we shouldn’t be this close. We talked about fate, but that’s not how the world works. It’s society that controls us, and society says we shouldn’t’ve done this.”

“Fuck society then,” Mumbo swore. “I don’t care if they label me as a traitor, I’d kill for you.”

Watcher made a strangled noise. “But you can’t, Mumbo. Your reputation-”

“Doesn’t matter,” Mumbo interrupted. “You can’t stop me from loving you.”

Watcher was silent for a moment, long enough for Mumbo to worry that he’d said something wrong. Then he scrubbed at his eyes.

“Gods, Mumbo, this is a mess,” he laughed wetly.

Mumbo released the breath he hadn’t known he was holding. “Tell me about it.”

Watcher shifted so they were pressed together, curling into Mumbo’s side. “Is this okay?”

“Of course,” Mumbo smiled, wrapping an arm around him. “Is this?”

“More than,” Watcher nodded, resting his head on Mumbo’s shoulder.

He didn’t know how long they sat there in content silence, but it was shattered when the door opened again.

“I gave you an extra five minutes,” Gem told them apologetically, “but X just arrived back from an interview, and I assume you want to tell him on your own terms, if at all.”

She swiped the keycard, holding open the cell door.

Mumbo sighed, turning to press a kiss to Watcher’s forehead before getting to his feet.

He thanked Gem on the way out, forcing himself to leave the room with only one glance back at Watcher.

Eyes were on him when Mumbo returned from the cells but he purposefully ignored them, slipping into Xisuma’s office with a quick knock on the door.

“Mumbo,” Xisuma nodded. “Take a seat, how may I help?”

Mumbo perched on the edge of the chair. “Thanks. Um, I was just wondering- who’s in charge of giving Watcher meals and stuff?”

Xisuma blinked. “That’s what you came to me about?”

Mumbo nodded.

“Huh. Well, I haven’t really assigned anyone particularly, it’s probably for the best to get his strength down a bit-”

“Rationing,” Mumbo interrupted. “Not starving him. That’s breaching the line into torture.”

Xisuma frowned. “Why are you so concerned about this?”

Mumbo hesitated. “I went to see him. He couldn’t stand up for very long, and- I don’t care if he’s a villain, I don’t like seeing someone that way.”

Xisuma paused for a moment before nodding. “Alright, I’ll get someone on it.”

“Thank you.”

“No problem, Mumbo,” Xisuma replied.

Mumbo visited Watcher every day after that, although that was the extent of his trips out. He was somewhat surprised that Scar didn’t drag him to the café, but didn’t complain. He didn’t feel much like going out.

On the sixth day after Watcher’s capture, Xisuma visited.

“Are you alright, Mumbo? You’ve been acting a little… differently… since we caught Watcher.”

Mumbo swallowed. “I’m okay, I just… it’s about Watcher, actually.”

“Oh?” Xisuma took a sip of tea, silently prompting him to elaborate.

“He- he’s a villain and everything, but he was nice to me, X.”

Xisuma frowned. “Nice?”

Mumbo nodded. “He didn’t attack me, we talked. I accidentally overshared,” he chuckled slightly, “but he was nice about it, helped me with my insecurities.”

Xisuma was silent, and Mumbo continued to fill the silence.

“And we sort of didn’t fight when we saw on another. We talked more, actually. He likes architecture, which is somewhat ironic. And he has parrot stickers on his phone case. He’s not rich either, have you noticed that he never steals, only blows up offices and government buildings? And I’m pretty sure they’re the corrupt ones too, he at least gives people warning with the graffiti.”

“The first time you met,” Xisuma stepped in. “You came back with that mark on your neck.”

Mumbo ran his fingers over the scar. “Yeah. That’s the only time he’s ever hurt me.”

“What about the second time, when I found you?”

“We were chatting before you arrived. He pretended to threaten me to save my reputation.”

Surprise showed in Xisuma’s eyes at that. “That’s certainly a different perspective,” he hummed.

“Are you mad?” Mumbo asked cautiously.

“I don’t think so, no,” Xisuma replied. “I’d suspected something, certainly, but I didn’t predict this. You care for him, don’t you?”

Mumbo nodded. “A lot.”

“Does anyone else know you two are on good terms?”

Mumbo winced. “Erm, well- Scar does, he found out pretty early-on. Then Cleo, Impulse and Etho found us together- then when I took him to the cells… I think most Hermits know. And so does Gem, she let me talk to him without the wall- the bars- between us the first time, and filters the camera footage.”

Xisuma chuckled slightly. “So what I’m hearing is, I’m the only one who didn’t know, because you were scared of what I’d do?”

“Scared of what you’d think, mainly,” Mumbo admitted.

“Well I’m surprised, certainly, but not angry. I probably should be,” he chuckled, “but I can see on your face how much this means to you, Mumbo. The problem is what would happen if the people found out.”

“Yeah, I’ve been worrying about that,” Mumbo confessed. “Watcher suggested I talk to you.”

Xisuma hummed thoughtfully. “I think we need to talk, all three of us. Shall we go see him?”

Watcher perked up when Mumbo opened the door, then adopted a hostile position when Xisuma followed.

“I told him,” Mumbo blurted.

Watcher‘s eyes widened. “Everything?”

“Everything,” Mumbo confirmed.

Watcher looked cautiously at Xisuma.

“Firstly, then, I think I owe you both an apology,” Xisuma began.

Clearly neither of them had expected this, because Mumbo and Watcher both stared at him.

“Watcher,” Xisuma addressed him. “I threatened you multiple times, imprisoned and tortured you. I’m very sorry.”

“Hold on, what? You haven’t tortured me!”

“I let you go without food or water for longer than what’s healthy,” Xisuma pointed out.

“I’m the enemy, that’s only fair.”

“An enemy would let me apologise for my wrongdoings,” Xisuma pointed out. “And Mumbo, I put you in several uncomfortable situations.”

“You didn’t know,” Mumbo argued.

“Regardless, I failed you as a leader and role model, and I’m sorry.

“Now, onto what we came to talk about. How are we gonna get you out of this without the media flipping out?”

“I’m still a villain, why does this change so much?” Watcher asked suddenly.

“Cause you’re Mumbo’s villain,” Xisuma replied easily. “Shall we go to my office to discuss this?”

“Am I allowed?” Watcher asked.

“I’m the boss, so no one should have a problem with it,” Xisuma shrugged, swiping his keycard.

Watcher edged out of the cells, instantly moving to stand beside Mumbo.

“Right, come with me,” X ordered, leading them out into the main office.

A hush descended as Watcher entered, gazes turning on the trio.

“Oh look,” Scar grinned. “The happy couple have returned! How was your honeymoon?”

Mumbo dragged a hand down his face, although he was grateful to Scar for breaking the tension.

“Scar, we aren’t married, and prison is pretty much as far away as you can get from a honeymoon.”

“What he means,” Watcher’s eyes gleamed, “is our honeymoon was wonderful, thank you.”

Mumbo elbowed him. “Don’t encourage him.”

“I will do what I like, husband,” Watcher grinned wickedly, elbowing him back.

“…I feel like I missed something,” Xisuma admitted.

“We aren’t actually married,” Mumbo said quickly. “Scar just ships us.”

Xisuma tilted his head, studying them. “I can see it.”

Mumbo groaned in pain. “Not you too, please.”

Xisuma chuckled. “Come on, we aren’t here to mess around.”

“What are you doing?” Impulse spoke up.

Xisuma coughed. “Certainly not figuring out a way to smuggle Watcher out of prison, that’s for sure.”

That made several people laugh, and Xisuma ushered the two into his office before any more questions could be asked.

“So,” he sat them on the sofa, facing them on his office chair. “Theoretically, if we were to say you were broken out, would you have any allies who would do that?”

“No, I worked alone,” Watcher replied.

“Okay… let’s say you broke out by yourself then. If you were gonna break out of there, how would you do it?”

“One of two ways,” Watcher explained. “First is pull down the security camera and rewire it to somehow break the door system, but that’s not really my forte. The other way is to knock out whoever gives me food while the door’s unlocked.”

“Why didn’t you do the second one?” Xisuma asked.

“Cause every person who gave me food was really nice,” he huffed. “I’d feel bad.”

Xisuma hummed, thinking. “So that’s an option…” he span his chair around, writing on a piece of paper on his desk.

“What about a reformation?” He suggested, facing them again.

“What would that entail?” Watcher asked cautiously.

“It would mean you do a full switch, and join the Hermits as a hero,” Xisuma replied.

Watcher stared at him silently for a moment before turning to Mumbo.

Mumbo pressed his lips together, trying not to grin.

Watcher glanced back at Xisuma, then Mumbo again.

“Do you want a moment with Mumbo?” X offered.

Watcher nodded. “Thanks,” he swallowed.

When Xisuma left the room, Watcher rounded on Mumbo.

“Did you tell him to say that?” he asked.

Mumbo shook his head. “I had no idea, but- I don’t want to put any pressure on you, but I would be quite chuffed if you said yes.”

Watcher snorted. “Quite chuffed, huh?”

“Maybe a little more than that,” Mumbo chuckled. “So, will you consider it?”

Watcher hesitated. “I… what about the other Hermits? Won’t they hate me?”

Mumbo raised an eyebrow. “Do you think they hate you? No one had any issue with us breaking you out, and they joined in when Scar was… insinuating things.”

Watcher chuckled at that. “I suppose. The public won’t like it though.”

“I mean, we can release the stuff you’ve cleverly hidden,” Mumbo pointed out.

Watcher blinked. “What stuff?”

“About how, despite how insistent you are that you’re a villain, the only places you’ve destroyed are corrupt and misogynistic.”

Watcher hunched his shoulders. “…You weren’t supposed to find that out.”

Mumbo gazed at him. “Gods, Watcher, you are extraordinary.”

Watched huffed, nudging him, but by now Mumbo could read his body language enough to know he was pleased as well as embarrassed.

“Seriously, though, you deserve to be a hero,” he continued. “You’d be a brilliant one too.”

“Mumbo,” Watcher huffed again, playfully kicking him in the ribs.

Mumbo chuckled. “Just stating facts, mate.”

“How did you even find out that I was only destroying the fucked-up places?”

“We all noticed the pattern, that you only targeted offices and business buildings, and wiped out whole chains and stuff. I just worked out the common factor between them.”

“I’d call you observant if it weren’t for the rather large thing you’ve been missing for weeks,” Watcher observed.

Mumbo frowned. “What do you mean?”

“Never mind,” Watcher smiled, getting to his feet. “Where did X go?”

“Have you decided?”

Watcher nodded. “I think so. I might as well give it a try, what’s the worst that could happen?”

For some reason, after Watcher had gone home, Mumbo felt the same kind of emptiness that had been in his heart for the past few weeks. It had no right to be there, because he was overjoyed that Watcher was out of the cell and joining the Hermits- but for some reason he still wasn’t really… content.

He decided that he should probably get out of the house to help this, so Mumbo shrugged his jacket on and headed to Grian’s coffee shop.

When he arrived, Pearl was sitting on the counter, taking pictures of Jimmy hugging a disgruntled-looking Grian.

“Oh look, we have a customer, you have to let go of me now Tim,” he said pointedly.

“No,” Jimmy declared, glancing at Mumbo. “He won’t mind.”

“What’s going on?” Mumbo asked Pearl.

“Comedy,” she replied. “Grian hates this, it’s very entertaining.”

“Is there anything I can do to get out of this?” Grian pleaded.

A wicked gleam appeared in Pearl’s eyes. “Tell Mumbo,” she grinned.

Grian winced. “Um, which thing?”

“Both.”

“Oh fuck no,” Grian responded.

“I’m very lost in this conversation,” Mumbo remarked.

“Tell him the one I know,” Jimmy ordered, finally releasing Grian, who sagged. “Go on.”

“Okay, okay, fine, but I’m doing it in the back room,” Grian huffed, grabbing Mumbo’s hand and dragging him behind the counter to the back room, shutting the door firmly.

“Um,” Mumbo started. “I feel like I’ve spent the majority of my time with you being confused.”

Grian snorted. “I expect so, like this. I’ll explain, I swear, I just- ugh. Words are hard.”

“That’s something we can agree on,” Mumbo remarked. “So, uh, how’s your week been?”

Grian chuckled. “A bit repetitive, I guess. There were good moments.”

Mumbo nodded. “Cool,” he said lamely.

“What about yours?” Grian asked.

“Oh, it’s been…” Mumbo winced. “Fine.”

Grian raised an eyebrow. “That’s a lie.”

“Yeah, it is,” Mumbo admitted. “I’ve not been great, but it’s picking up.”

“Are you happier?” Grian asked.

“…Yes.”

“You hesitated.”

Mumbo shrugged. “I should be happier.”

“But you aren’t?”

“I am! Mostly. Just not fully.”

“What would make it fully, do you know?” Grian prompted.

Mumbo paused, pretending to consider what he already knew. “Yeah, I do know.”

“Then I suggest you act upon that, as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone,” Grian hummed.

“Okay,” Mumbo agreed, a little weight lifting from his chest. “Thanks.”

“No problem,” Grian smiled.

“So what did Pearl and Jimmy want you to tell me?” Mumbo asked.

“Oh, just that I’m Watcher,” Grian bombshelled.

Mumbo took a beat to process the words before his jaw dropped.

Grian giggled at his expression.

“Oh my goodness,” Mumbo whispered, staring at him. “I’m kicking myself. How did I not realise that?”

Grian cackled at that. “I don’t know, but it was great fun.”

“So that’s why Scar- and Pearl too! I feel a bit silly,” Mumbo laughed. “Gosh. It took you a while to tell me!”

“I still wouldn’t’ve if it weren’t for the fact we’re gonna be literally living in the same apartment and working together, I don’t think I’d be able to keep that secret then.”

“Well I’d hope not, but I’m clearly not as observant as I thought,” Mumbo chuckled.

“Not in this aspect, maybe, but you’re the one who realised the stuff about what I was targeting,” Grian shrugged. “Don’t talk yourself down too much, dear husband.”

Mumbo rolled his eyes, breathing out forcefully. “You’re insufferable.”

“I know,” Grian grinned, not sounding remotely remorseful. “And you’re gonna have to put up with me a lot more often from now on now it’s legal.”

Mumbo perked up. “That’s true. I won’t lie, I’m not disappointed by that news.”

Grian’s smile grew, then faltered. “Hey, earlier you said you weren’t completely happy.”

Mumbo sobered. “Ah. I did, didn’t I?”

Grian nodded. “Is there anything I can do?”

Mumbo offered him half a tired smile. “I’m grateful for the offer, Gri, but it’s all on me really. I’ll get to it.”

Grian nodded. “As long as you don’t let it ruin your life.”

Mumbo chuckled. “I won’t.”

Grian gave him a brilliant smile, and Mumbo felt himself fall a little further.

The Hermit apartment block had no rooms left, already Keralis was sharing with Xisuma, Ren with Doc, and Tango, Impulse and Zedaph shared an apartment, so Scar nominated Mumbo to be the one Grian shared with, and no one seemed to have a problem with it.

It took an entire week for them to move Grian’s stuff in and to organise themselves enough to accommodate for him, mundane things like buying extra chairs and a bed.

But it was worth it when Grian wandered around the apartment in pyjamas with his wings fluttering behind him. It was worth it when they both came home from patrol together and curled up in front of the telly in silent agreement. It was worth it when Grian arrived back from college, dancing around and animatedly explaining to Mumbo different ways to make buildings interesting. It was worth it when Grian shyly asked Mumbo for help with his wings, and they spent hours on their pushed-together beds, Grian chirping softly in his sleep as Mumbo preened him. It was worth it when they bought and cleaned out the van Mumbo had hoped for, and spent a month on a road trip. It was worth it when Mumbo finally managed to take Grian’s advice and haltingly confessed his love, and Grian pulled him into a kiss. It was worth it when they exchanged vows and rings, two years later.

Mumbo thinks, offhandedly, one day when reminiscing, that it’s always worth it, when it comes to love.