Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

“Sweetheart? Keigo, look at me.”

Keigo tries, he really does. But so much is happening – There are lots of people moving around in the tiny apartment they share with his mother’s boyfriend, and he doesn’t know why they’re there. They look fancy, and Hawks doesn’t recognize any of them.

“Keigo.” His mother sharpens her tone and Keigo flinches, but finally pays attention.

“Yeah, mama?”

She softens her features and raises her hands,  holding Keigo’s face with a firm grip. Her nails are broken and one of them scratches him. Her hands aren’t soft like they used to be.

“We’re going to go away for a little while, okay? Okay, Keigo?”

“Like a vacation?” Keigo frowns, confused.

Sometimes his mother would talk about taking a vacation one day – Just them two. They would leave their apartment, leave Japan, and go wherever they wanted to. They wouldn’t have to worry about money, or boyfriends, or naptime. There was no worry on vacation.

“Y-Yeah, kind of. But we won’t be going together. I’m going to go somewhere on vacation, and you’re going to go somewhere else.”

Keigo frowns harder, not liking the sound of that.

“But I want to stay with you.” He tells her. She sniffs and runs a red hand through hair that’s already bloodstained.

“I know, sweetheart. But we can’t right now, okay? We’re going to go on our own adventures, and then when we’re ready, we’ll be together again.”

One of the strangers in their apartment stops behind his mother and leans down, whispering something in her ear that Keigo can’t hear.

“Just one more minute, please.” She pleads, looking up at him. The man glances at Keigo, then back to her. He nods.

“One minute.”

Keigo starts to panic, his wings are giving away his fear and trembling. He thinks he can feel a feather fall.

“But, mom, I don’t wanna go separate. I wanna go with you!” Keigo moves closer, and throws tiny arms around his mother’s neck. She hugs him back tight, and holds him closer.

“I know, little bird. But we have to. You’re going to go with these nice men, and I’m going to go somewhere else. But I promise you, we’ll see each other again. Okay?”

Keigo shakes his head, and buries himself closer. He doesn’t cry – He isn’t allowed to cry – but he lets himself sniffle. Her thin arms grab a hold of his shoulders and push him back a step, creating a space between them. She starts patting around the ground near them as if searching for something, sniffling herself.

“Where’s your doll, baby? Your hero doll?” She wonders, looking around.

“My Endeavor? He’s… He’s messy.” Keigo admits, pointing behind her at where the doll lays in a pool of something red that Keigo knows came from his mother’s boyfriend.

“Oh. Oh, Keigo, I’m sorry.” Her face crumples, but she wipes it with her cleaner hand and looks back at him.

“That’s okay. You don’t need him, right? You can be your own hero.” She tells him, forcing a smile that doesn’t fit right on her face anymore.

Keigo sniffs and rubs his own face, nodding his head bravely.

“Good. That’s good, sweetheart. Look-”

“Takami-San, it’s time. We need to get going.” One of the men returns, holding out a hand to help her up off the floor.

She looks up, surprised, but nods distractedly. She takes the offered hand and has to lean on the man for support. Keigo reaches out to help steady her, but he’s pulled back by another man.

“M-Mom?”

Keigo’s mother looks around at the sound of his voice, as if she’s forgotten he was there all along. She smiles, and her face lightens to a shine that Keigo has never seen except in old pictures.

“I love you, little bird.”

Keigo’s eyes open all at once, and he’s never been so relieved to see another person as he is when his gaze immediately lands on Touya. If Touya’s here, then Keigo isn’t there.

Touya is, however, still sleeping. His arms are bunched up underneath his pillow, underneath a head of unruly dark hair. His eyes are closed, lips parted with a speck of drool kissing the side of his mouth. He looks peaceful, human in a way that he often defies.

Keigo gets up slowly, carefully so as not to wake him. He checks his phone, keeps the light to himself, and sighs internally at the time. Hardly a few hours have passed since he passed out beside Touya and he’d hoped to manage a few more. It had been nice, falling asleep to the man running soothing fingertips up and down his spine and in between his wings.

After leaving Izuku, Keigo had been a bit of a wreck. It’d taken a few tries to get through the story without becoming irrationally angry, terrified, or somewhere in between. Touya had listened, hadn’t said a word but had given Hawks what he needed just by being there. He listened as Hawks raged against the Commission, as he’d described the heartbreak and not being in a position to respect Izuku’s wishes when the kid had all but begged the hero – Don’t touch me, please. His blue eyes softened in sympathy when Hawks told him how helpless he’d felt as he brought Izuku back to the apartment – How nothing he did calmed the kid down.

And at the end of it all, Touya had simply asked –

“What now?”

Hours later, that question remains unanswered. It bounces around Keigo’s head as he hops down from the loft, his wings breaking the short fall without making a sound.

You can be your own hero.

That’s what his mom told him, right before he was taken to be exactly that. But after the past few weeks, and especially the events of the day – He doesn’t feel very heroic. How can he? A real hero wouldn’t stand by and watch the very system he works for pull strings tight around the necks of people who have no choice but to play along. A real hero wouldn’t let that little girl, Eri, follow the same path as himself, knowing all too well what she would find in the end.

But he couldn’t leave, could he?

What now?

Keigo isn’t sure. He stumbles to the bathroom, still disoriented from his nightmare, and remembers he’ll have to fix the door in the morning. For now, he turns on the sink, and splashes cool water on his face to feel clean again. He always feels dirty after he has those dreams. He can still feel the grime on his face, on the back of his neck. He can feel the dried blood under his fingernails.

He hasn’t had one of those dreams in months – Maybe not in the last year. It was the longest he’d gone without them since that night.

He knew why he’d had it, and the guilt he could feel pooling somewhere between his heart and his stomach churns as he shakes his head, drops of water falling into the sink.

You can be your own hero.

Keigo sighs and turns off the light to the bathroom, padding into the kitchen and pouring a glass of water. He forgets to drink it, forgets to turn the water off.

What would his mother even look like, now? Could she smile like that, now? Like he’s only ever seen in his dreams? Did she still even need treatment?

If Keigo were a better son, he would know these things.

He startles when the water turns off in front of him. A bare, scarred arm wraps around his torso, tugging him into a warm chest.

“You okay, birdie?” Touya asks, voice rough with sleep. Keigo huffs and shakes his head, leaning back. He almost doesn’t mind being shorter than Touya at this moment. His head rests comfortably against the man’s shoulder, acting like a pillow.

“Not really.”

“Hm. Want to talk about it?”

“Not really.” Keigo shakes his head and Touya huffs out a near-silent laugh.

“Wanna come back to bed, then?”

Keigo closes his eyes, thinks about it, but shakes his head.

“I can’t. Too much thinking.” He admits, sighing.

Touya lets out a sigh of his own, but his is laced with something a little different. His free hand that’s leaning on the counter brushes the bared skin just above Keigo’s waistband. He just holds his hand there, fingertips ghosting the skin as he rubs a thumb back and forth over Keigo’s hip.

“Want some help clearing your head?”

Keigo’s breath hitches at the implication, and there’s no way Touya didn’t feel or hear it. A hot puff of air tickles the hair near his ear, and Touya kisses the spot.

“That a yes?” He asks, hand drifting a little lower.

Keigo relaxes further, giving himself over to Touya as he leans back to rest even more of his weight on the man behind him.

“Y-Yeah.” Keigo lets himself go, and lets himself fall.

**********

Keigo still can't sleep. Each time he feels himself nodding off, that familiar pull dragging him under, he can’t quite grab a hold of it. He tosses and turns endlessly, nearly waking Touya in the process before he decides to give up for the night.

He takes the stairs this time and actually pours himself that glass of water. He feels a little more alive after gulping down the cold liquid, feeling it slip down his throat and settle into his stomach. He runs a hand through his hair, shakes out his wings and sighs. He still feels on edge, like something is buzzing just underneath his skin - Just out of reach.

He won't be going back to sleep tonight. There’s too much to do – Too many things he needs to figure out.

He needs to hold The Commission accountable for what they’ve done. Not just to Izuku, not just to him – But to all of the people they’ve hurt over the years. And he needs to stop them before they have a chance to hurt Eri, too.

Eri – He decides. He’ll start there.

He pulls out his Commission issued laptop, despite the fact that they could track anything he researches. He won't find what he's looking for on the internet and he doubts they'll be surprised by his search history given his and the girl's meeting today. He simply wants to know a little more about the new recruit - It's as simple as that. If he's putting together his own file on the girl with the separate laptop Rumi bought for him that the Commission isn't aware of, well, no one needs to know about that yet.

But hours later, and Keigo is at even more of a loss than he was before he started. By the looks of it, The Commission did everything the right way this time. The girl, Eri, is a legal ward of the HPSC. After The Commission decided upon her as their new asset, they got to work impressing upon the civil judge the importance of monitoring such a quirk like hers. Not inherently dangerous, but with the possibility of it growing into something uncontrollable if left unchecked. The judge agreed, and so, it was in the girl's best interest to be taken from her foster home and given a handler of her own.

And then... another handler. And another. The girl had only been with The Commission for a short time, but they were already bending over backwards to keep her happy. Maybe they learned from their mistakes with Hawks? Surely they wanted someone easier to control, more malleable and willing to fight for their cause. Though, Keigo doubted she'd be doing much fighting. Her quirk was better suited for other kinds of hero work.

Keigo closes the laptop and runs a hand down his face, rolls his shoulder and winces when he can feel the knots in his back tighten. He isn't sure what to do, isn't sure what he can do.

The commission is unbreakable, unshakeable. They always have been.

It's times like this he wishes he had someone to talk to. Someone older than him, smarter than him. Someone that could just listen sometimes, and other times could offer their own advice. Someone with long, dirty blonde hair and shaky hands. Someone that still smiled at him, no matter how tired they were. No matter how high they may have been at the time.

Without thinking, he opens his laptop back up. He remembers the name of the hospital even if he's never visited, never called. Would she even remember him? Of course she would, he was still her kid... Right? Was he still her kid, even if she was no longer his mom? Did he have that right?

"Keigo? Still can't sleep?"

Touya comes out of the dark, making Keigo jump and shut his laptop loudly on instinct. His heart threatens to pound out of his chest, trying to recover, and damn but how does Touya always sneak up on him like that?

Touya's brow perks up at the sudden reaction and he eyes the laptop pointedly. Keigo winces, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly as he opens it back up.

"Sorry, you startled me." He explains, facing the screen towards Touya so he can see he has nothing to hide.

Touya, for his part, seems more concerned for Keigo than for the laptop. His brows knit together and he walks a few steps closer, setting a warm hand on his bare shoulder.

"Did you have another nightmare?" He asks, lowly. Keigo shrugs, because he still doesn't really remember.

"Just woke up again, couldn't sleep." His voice is rough, exhausted, rivaling Touya's.

Touya hums, finally takes the time to see what Keigo was busy researching at four in the morning. When he realizes what it is he's reading, he blinks in surprise. He keeps his thoughts in his head, but he's never been great at keeping his emotions off of his face.

"I know, I just... I don't know. I thought maybe...Maybe I could be ready to see her." Keigo admits, quietly, shy almost.

Touya doesn't say anything, but he narrows his eyes in consideration. He crosses his arms in front of himself, thoughtful and thinking before he speaks. Keigo didn't expect his opinion to mean as much, but he finds himself waiting anxiously.

"Why do you want to see her?" He asks, sitting down in his own chair and leaning scarred  elbows on the kitchen table.

Touya's eyes are darker than usual, but no less intense. They're thoughtful, open and waiting for Keigo to answer him. His hair is mussed from tossing and turning, one side sticking up a little higher than the other. His cheeks are still flushed from sleep and he isn't wearing a shirt again, leaving his scarred torso on display in a show of trust.

Keigo has to look away and clear his throat while he thinks of an answer. It's too soon to feel so strongly about the other man.  He pushes the emotion down and locks it away, trying to gather his thoughts.

"I just... I don't know what to do, Touya," He admits, sighing, before continuing.

"I don't want anything to do with The Commission. I never have, but... I can't just leave. They'll take away her treatment, and I don't think I could afford it without them. And I don't - I don't think they'd even let me keep my license if I left. They'd come up with something, I know it, and I'd be out of work. And I don't... I don't like the Commission, but I think I like being a hero? I like helping people, at least. I just..."

Keigo trails off, struggling to reign in his train of thought.

"It would just be nice to have someone... A parent, I guess, to talk to," He isn't sure why he flushes at the admission, "And I know it's been the right decision so far, to not see her. But... Maybe I can do it now? I'm older, I don't actually need a mother anymore... I don't know. I don't even know what she's like, now. She was never awful to begin with, she just-"

"Sold you." Touya interrupts. Keigo winces, feels a spark of shame at the reminder. Touya notices and softens slightly.

"Sorry. Just. I get wanting to see her, but... You don't have to make excuses for her."

Keigo nods. He knows this, but it's a hard habit to break. If he doesn't make excuses for her, he'll hate her, and he really doesn't want to carry that extra weight on his back. He isn't sure he can.

"What do you want her to say?" Touya asks, reaching across the table and brushing a thumb across Keigo's knuckles. Keigo exhales, shakily.

"I don't know... It's probably a terrible idea." He admits. Touya nods, still looking directly at Keigo.

"Is it because of the kid?" He asks, curious.

"Which one?" Keigo rolls his shoulders back, relieving some of the tension between his shoulder blades,

"You got another one I don't know about?" Touya asks, amused.

It's then Keigo realizes he hasn't told Touya about Eri. He hadn't told him what happened earlier in the day, before he spotted Izuku and Confession. He also hasn't told him what he realized - That Touya Todoroki is still alive and well, sitting across from him. Another flutter of guilt and indecision settles in his stomach, and Keigo fidgets in his seat as he decides to save that conversation for another day.

"No, just... The Commission did it again. Got another me." He explains at Touya's confused expression. His face hardens when he understands, and Keigo nods.

"She's younger than I was. I was looking at her file and... I get why they want her. She won't be a fighter like me, but her quirk has the potential to be... Scary, honestly. Now that they have her." Keigo explains, thoughtfully. Touya hums, squeezes Keigo's hand before taking it back to lean on.

"Did you tell your hero friend? Eraserhead?"

"No, he... He has two kids now, from the sound of it." Keigo laughs.

Eraser had texted him late, after he woke the first time, and explained what happened after Keigo had left. He'd asked if he could watch Izuku the next day for no more than an hour - Just long enough to take Shinso to sign paperwork and make everything official.

"That's why I want to... Just see what she has to say. Maybe she's better now - Maybe she doesn't even need the treatment? It's been years..."

Touya's eyes soften, he looks doubtful but nods anyways. Keigo isn't used to having this kind of support - Not with anyone besides Rumi on occasion - so he takes a deep breath and musters the courage to ask,

"Would you go with me?"

There's a loud silence, louder than the small voice Keigo had spoken in. Keigo doesn't look up from his hands fidgeting on the table, afraid of what he'll see. Touya doesn't make a sound, but Keigo does see him move out of his peripheral.

"I don't know... I'm supposed to be laying low, right now." Touya says, slowly.

Keigo nods, swallowing past the lump in his throat. Stupid.

"Right, yeah I get it. Sorry, it's not a big deal." Keigo laughs it off, doesn't see the way Touya's own face saddens in response.

"I... Keigo, if it was -"

"It's fine, really. I shouldn't have asked. Kinda fast to ask you to meet the parents so soon, anyways." He tries to joke, but it falls flat. He stands up, stretching under the guise of sleepiness, but Touya doesn't buy it.

"If it was any other hospital, I would. But I... I know someone, there. At that one. If I saw them... It wouldn't be great." Touya offers, standing up as well and stopping Keigo from walking away.

"It's okay, really." Keigo finally looks at him, can feel how flushed he is from the anxiety of speaking up, of asking for something in the first place.

He hasn't done that since... Has he ever done that? There's never been much of a point, before. There's never been anyone willing to give him what he needs. And he knows it isn't fair to lump Touya into that category, not when everything is new and Touya does sound genuinely upset, but the rejection stings all the same.

"Keigo." Touya has a hold on his arm, brings his other hand up to cup the side of his face.

"I know. It's fine, really. Let's go back to bed, yeah? I'm visiting Izuku in the morning before I go."

Touya frowns, but he nods. Keigo offers him a smile and takes his hand in his, leading them both up the stairs to the loft. They get into bed on opposite sides, Keigo on the left and Touya on the right. They end the night with the sheets between them growing cold for the first time.

**********

Hawks falls asleep not an hour before his alarm goes off. Touya groans next to him until Keigo finds the phone to mute it, sighing as he does. Just barely making it to the REM cycle feels even worse than not sleeping at all.

Once he makes it to heroes' apartment a few minutes away, Eraserhead opens the door and it's almost like Hawks is looking into a mirror. It looks like the man hasn't slept at all overnight. He probably hasn’t, given the new purple-haired addition to the home trailing right behind him. Hawks gives the kid a smile, tries not to let his gaze linger over the bandage on the kid’s face or the bags under his eyes rivaling even Eraser’s.

“Thanks again, Hawks. I know it’s last minute.”

“No problem! I wanted to come check on the green bean, anyways.” Hawks tells him, entering the apartment when Eraserhead steps aside to let him in.

“Hey, again! Shinso, right?” Hawks asks, though he already knows. The kid nods and gives a greeting of his own, but is otherwise silent.

“How is the green bean?” He asks, shrugging off his jacket and tossing it on the counter.

Aizawa hesitates, glances behind him where Hawks can see a stray green curl peeking out from over the couch. He shrugs, finishes gathering his capture scarf and setting it on his shoulders.

"He's... Okay. Considering." He says, rolling his eyes when Hawks gives him a flat look at his frustratingly vague answer.

"He's not having a great day," He admits, "But he's trying to keep himself distracted. His therapist is coming by when I get back, so hopefully that will help."

Hawks has to lean in close to hear him, his voice is lowered so just the two of them can hear. He nods along, grateful for the heads up.

“We shouldn’t be long, we both need to be present to sign some paperwork and stop by UA, and then we’ll be back. Just…”

Eraserhead doesn’t usually let his emotions show – on his face, in his voice, in any way that could be deemed revealing. Hawks isn’t sure if it’s due to the hero’s exhaustion or his worry that he lets his anxiety creep into his next statement.

“He can’t be left alone. For anything. Understand?”

“Yeah, I got it. I was there too, yesterday.” He reminds him.

Eraserhead isn’t fazed by his tone, only nods. He walks around to the couch, kneels down in front of Izuku and says his goodbye. Hawks doesn’t try and eavesdrop, but he does watch Shinso as he watches the interaction.

The kid wasn't very talkative the first time they met, but he's painfully quiet today. Hawks can't blame him based on the texts he'd received from Aizawa the night before and then Yamada early in the morning. But for all his silence, his face gives a lot away. The wistful expression he wears as Aizawa comforts and coddles Izuku is all too telling, as is the guilty look that follows. This kid may not have gone through the hell Izuku did, but he clearly craves that same warmth all the same.

“Ready?” Eraser walks back over and addresses Shinso, who nods quietly. Aizawa turns to Hawks with a softer expression this time.

“Thanks, again. Call if you need anything.”

Hawks gives a nod and a tired smile, then turns back around to the kid whose peering over the couch, watching his dad leave with his new brother.

“He’s coming back, you know.” Hawks tells him after the door closes, walking around the kitchen and into the living room where he can plop down on the couch next to Izuku.

“I kn-know!” Izuku says, a little too quickly and not nearly confident enough. Hawks gives him an exasperated smile and resists ruffling the kid’s hair.

“Sure, sure. So how are we doing today?”

Izuku bundles the blanket tighter around him, his knuckles pale with how tight he's gripping the fabric. There's something in his lap, but it's covered by the way he's slightly hunched around himself. He doesn't answer, can't even look at Hawks when he shrugs, which hurts. But Izuku's face is flushed a bright red, and it's clear his avoidance is due to his own self-consciousness over his actions the day before. Instead of pressing him about it, Hawks tries to keep the conversation going.

"So what are we doing today?” Hawks asks, leaning closer to see what exactly is in Izuku's lap. He’s surprised, lets it show on his face when he looks back up at him.

“Homework?”

Izuku shakes his head, “N-No. Um. It’s for the entrance exam. For general studies.”

Hawks' eyes widen in genuine glee and he gives Izuku a big grin as he takes in the information.

“You want to go to UA?” He asks, leaning closer again to see what exactly the kid is studying for.

Izuku nods, “Aizawa-Sensei said I could start next semester, if I pass the exam.”

“That’s great, kid!” Hawks laughs, the relief at Izuku planning his future, planning the future he should have had all along has him finally waking up.

Izuku blushes, bites his lip. He scrunches his nose, and pushes a stray curl behind his ear. They're familiar habits, so Hawks waits as patiently as he can for Izuku to work up the nerve to ask whatever it is that has him stalling. He just barely starts bouncing his leg when he’s finally rewarded.

“C-Can I ask you something?”

“Of course!”

“And it… It can just stay between us? For now?” Izuku asks, wide eyes blinking nervously. Hawks hesitates before he answers, and Izuku notices.

“It’s n-not anything bad, I promise.” He assures the hero. Hawks contemplates for another second but finds himself nodding.

“Sure, kiddo. What is it?”

Izuku lets out a breath, relieved, but he’s still nervous. He puts the textbook aside, and curls up under what Hawks knows is one of his favorite blankets.

“Do you think… Do you think if I… Aizawa-Sensei said…” Izuku struggles, eyes flitting back and forth and not looking at anything in particular.

Hawks is about to interrupt when Izuku makes an aggravated noise, sits up and all but tosses the blanket off of him. He squares his shoulders and looks Hawks in the eyes as he announces,

“I don’t want to be in General Studies.”

Hawks blinks, waits for Izuku to continue, but he doesn’t. So Hawks nods slowly, tries to piece together what it is Izuku does want, and comes up blank.

“Is that… What you wanted to ask me?”

“N-No… It’s… I – I want to go to UA. B-But I don’t want to be in General Studies.” Izuku repeats, eyes wide and willing for Hawks to read his mind. Unfortunately, Hawks is running on little to no sleep and isn’t at his best.

“You’re going to have to spell it out for me, kid.” He admits, and Izuku deflates a little.

“I… Aizawa-Sensei told me, after the raid… He told me I was a h-hero.” Izuku admits, shyly, green eyes looking up at Hawks from underneath darker green curls.

“You are!” Hawks reaffirms, nodding. He doesn't know anyone that could argue that.

“T-Thank you,” Izuku blushes, “But… I… Do you think I really c-could be?”

And then, Hawks gets it.

“I know I’m… I’m q-quirkless. B-But, um, lots of heroes have to fight quirkless sometimes, you know? And I – I always wanted to and… I think I c-could… Maybe.” Izuku trails off in the face of Hawks’ silence. His eyes are watering now, he’s going to bite a hole through his damned lip, and he looks like he’s on the verge of a panic attack.

“B-But, maybe not, I-”

“Izuku.” Hawks interrupts him, and leans forward so he can look Izuku in the eyes.

“I think you’re going to make a great Pro-Hero.”

The tears the kid had just managed to hold back start to leak out of the corners of his eyes and he rubs them with scarred, freckled hands.

“P-Promise? You’re not just saying that?” Izuku stutters and Hawks shakes his head.

“I promise. I wouldn’t lie about something like that, even to make you feel better. Whatever I can do to help you, let me know. I may not have gone to UA, but you do have the support of the number three hero behind you.” Hawks smiles, tries not to let the flood of tears sadden him.

How many people must have doubted him? Even before he was taken by Overhaul – Hawks knew the kid had been bullied by children and adults alike due to his quirk status. But he's proved everyone wrong in the way no child should have to – He’d proved he was strong, resilient, clever, and big-hearted. He was braver than most heroes Hawks had worked with, and despite everything the kid had gone through, he still saw good in the world. He still wanted to help people.

“I can’t wait to stand next to you in the charts, kid.”

At that, Izuku crosses the space between them. He wraps his arms around Hawk’s neck and burrows his face into the hero’s chest. Hawks hugs him back, pleasantly surprised to find that the kid has started putting on a healthy amount of weight. The bones that would stick and poke are covered by a soft layer of fat and muscle, and Hawks squeezes him a little tighter.

Izuku sniffs once before leaning back, rubbing his eyes, and flushing in embarrassment.

“With the number of times you’ve fallen asleep on me, you really have no reason to be embarrassed around me anymore.” Hawks jokes and Izuku flushes a deeper red.

“S-Sorry.” He sniffs, but Hawks laughs it off.

“It’s fine, kid – Really. Want some water?” He asks, standing up from the couch and stretching, giving Izuku a moment to put himself back together.

“Yes, please.” Izuku nods, still wiping his face with soft sleeves that look too long to belong to him.

“Is that one of the blondie’s? What was his name? Monoma?” Hawks calls out, teasing. He hears what sounds like a squeak from behind the couch and laughs quietly as he pours two glasses of water.

“N-No! It’s, um, ‘Zashi’s.” He mumbles the last part, and Hawks laughs.

“I see. I figured it was your boyfriend’s sweater, since you’re going to be in high school and all.” He teases.

“H-He’s not my boyfriend.” Izuku denies, but Hawks doesn’t let up.

“Hmm, if you say so. Doesn’t he bring you flowers?”

“S-Sometimes.”

“And he got you chocolate?”

“Just once!”

“And he makes you lunch?”

“Hmm…” Hawks smiles as he hands Izuku the glass before taking a sip of his own, “Sounds like you’re one step away from sleeping in your boyfriend’s jacket to me.”

Izuku’s nose scrunches again, and Hawks is sure he’s about to be chastised, but Izuku closes his mouth all of a sudden. His expression changes, where before there had been a defensive edge now there’s uncertainty.

“What? I was just teasing, kid.” Hawks tells him, sitting back down. He'd been relieved for a moment when Izuku had dropped the sad look that threatened to become a permanent fixture for the rest of the day. Izuku shakes his head, and sets his own water down.

“I know. Just… Is… Is that why you had Dabi’s jacket? At your apartment?” He asks, hesitantly, wincing.

Hawks freezes, all interrogation training thrown out the window after he’s caught so incredibly off guard by the kid.

“W-What?” It’s his turn to stutter, but Izuku looks more confident than before. Hawks wanted him to distract him, but not like this.

“Is he r-really your boyfriend? Or were you just telling Rumi that?”

“Uh, I don’t… What’re you talking about?” Hawks stalls, mind racing and trying to figure out where and how he slipped up.

“His jacket… It was at your apartment. I thought I recognized it, and when The League showed up at USJ… I remembered. It’s him, right?” Izuku asks, but he already has his answer.

Fuck. That damned jacket. First Rumi, now Izuku. How the hell did this kid remember that?

“Do your dads know?” Hawks has to ask, even if he's afraid of the answer.

Izuku shakes his head, “N-No. I haven’t told anybody.”

Hawks is surprised, narrows his eyes, “Why not?”

Izuku shrugs, and looks down. “Dabi is… He was nice to me. When I met him. He gave me t-this.”

The kid reaches in his pocket and pulls out what looks like some kind of candy bar that’s been so ground down over time it can’t be anything more than crumbs. The wrapper on the outside is faded, Hawks can’t even make out any of the lettering.

“It’s… He g-gave it to me. And then a few days later, Aizawa-Sensei found me. It’s…”

“You’ve had that since the raid?”

“Mhm. Not a lot of people were nice, especially other villains. But… I don’t think he’s all bad. And you’re definitely not bad. So, I didn’t tell anyone. I w-won’t, if you don’t want me to.” Izuku promises, looking up at him.

Hawks looks back down at the wrapper, throat swelling with emotion as he looks down at the crumpled, dirty thing. It was clearly important to the kid, insinuating that it was even some kind of good luck charm. But it was… It was just trash, now. It wasn’t much before.

Up until the raid, Izuku’s only act of kindness he’d experienced had been a snack tossed to him haphazardly by a villain. His only symbol of luck, of hope, was little more than trash held in the palm of his hand.

Izuku deserved… So much better. And he has it now. He’s out, Chisaki is in prison, and everyone that’s hurt this kid is starting to be held accountable. So why does it still physically ache to see the effects of this kid’s abuse?

“Hawks?” Izuku questions, nervous. Hawks clears his throat, shakes his head.

Well… Not everyone has been held accountable. A slap on the wrist for The Commission as a result of yesterday’s interrogation isn’t enough. Hawks had watched the kid crumble, fall apart in the realest, worst way not even twenty-four hours ago. So why was he okay, now? Why is Izuku studying for entrance exams, welcoming a new brother into his home, reassuring Hawks when it should be the other way around?

“Y-Yeah. He’s my boyfriend.” Hawks has to tell him the truth – It’s the least he can do. Even if the word ‘boyfriend’ sounds so juvenile on his tongue.

Izuku’s eyes widen – He clearly hadn’t expected Hawks to admit it.

“R-Really? You… He… W-When? How? I – Sorry, sorry, it’s not my business.” Izuku shakes his head at himself. Hawks tries to force himself to relax.

“It’s fine. It’s… I won’t ask you not to tell anyone, but…” Hawks struggles. He can’t tell the kid to keep this from his dads, but he has a feeling Eraserhead wouldn’t be as understanding.

“I won’t.” Izuku promises. Hawks gives him a small, shaky smile.

“We were working a case together. Actually…” Hawks takes another sip of water, mouth suddenly dry. He clears his throat before he continues.

“We were working a case together, but… He was actually the one that told me about you. After he gave you that, I would guess.” Hawks inclines his head towards the snack bar that’s back in Izuku’s pocket.

Izuku’s eyes widen, almost comically so.

“W-What?”

“He told me a kid was being held underground. I told Eraserhead. And… Here we are.” He laughs, breathless and shaky at best. Should he even be telling the kid all of this?

He isn’t sure. Izuku isn’t giving him much to work with, he’s still staring wide-eyed and open-mouthed at the revelation.

“Kid?”

Izuku’s mouth snaps shut, and he blinks half a dozen times before the muttering kicks in. Hawks can’t make out even a word of it, it’s too low and too quick to comprehend.

“Kid?”

“Can I see him?” Izuku’s head pops up, eyes pleading.

“Uh, no.”

“W-What? Why not?”

“He’s still a wanted villain, kid.”

“But, I just want to thank him.” Izuku assures him, puppy-dog eyes coming into full effect.

Hawks is never making fun of his dads again – He can see how he’s been able to get them wrapped around his finger without even trying.

“I know, Izuku – But no. It’s already bad to keep this secret from your dads, and I know you don’t want to lie to them. I won’t be the one to explain to Eraserhead why I’m taking his kid to meet with a villain.” Hawks shudders just thinking about it – There’s no way he’d be leaving that conversation with his wings intact.

“But-”

“I said no, Izuku.” Hawks cuts him off before he can try, and likely succeed, in wearing him down.

Izuku flinches at his tone before he nods and quickly lowers his head. Hawks sighs, wants to kick himself for this entire conversation. The kid is slowly retreating to the opposite end of the couch, taking the blanket with him. Luckily, he’s saved from what could quickly turn into a meltdown by the sound of the front door opening.

Izuku’s expression changes so quickly Hawks struggles to keep up. It’s almost heartbreaking, to watch the panic transform into a kind of excitement tinged with a small amount of disbelief. How long is it going to take for Izuku to believe that someone will always come back for him?

“I’m home.” Aizawa’s tired voice greets the apartment, and Izuku is up and off the couch before Hawks can so much as blink.

Hawks hears the sound Izuku makes when he runs into the underground hero, he can hear the oof that follows, and something that sounds suspiciously like -  Welcome home, dad.

“Where’s the other one?” Hawks asks, noting that Aizawa came back alone.

“Wanted to stay with Hizashi after class, while he finishes grading papers. They'll both be home early. Hizashi wanted to take a half day.”

“Really?” Izuku asks, surprised.

“Mhm.” Aizawa untangles himself from Izuku so he can shrug off the capture scarf.

“That’s good!” Izuku comments, smiling. Aizawa smiles back, soft and small.

“I think so too.”

Hawks clears his throat, feels like he’s intruding on something between the two. Some kind of family moment he shouldn’t be invited to.

“Thanks again, Hawks.” Aizawa tells him.

“No problem! I do have to run though, I have a meeting in a few minutes.” Hawks tells him, stomach churning at the upcoming appointment.

“Of course. Want us to walk you out?” Aizawa offers, but Hawks shakes his head.

“That’s okay. I’ll see you guys soon, okay kiddo?”

Izuku smiles, it's small, but it soothes some of the tension from before.

“Thanks, Hawks.”

**********

Keigo can't remember the last time he was this nervous. Has he ever been this nervous? He doesn't think so - He can't remember his palms sweating like this. He can't remember the way he had to steady himself to get out of the car, his legs threatening to give out.

"You good?" Touya checks, worriedly, from the other end of the phone. Keigo nods, determined to be all right.

"Fine." He manages. Touya’s silence is clearly doubtful, but he lets it go.

"I'll be right there if you need anything." He reminds him. Keigo nods, grateful for the offer. He believes him, but he hopes it won’t come to that.

"Right. Yeah. I'll.. I'll see you in a bit."

"See you."

Hawks hangs up the phone when he gets to the front door. He takes a deep breath, steadying his nerves, and pulls the handle.

The waiting room is warm, smells familiar – Lavender, maybe. The furniture placed carefully throughout the space looks expensive, as does the artwork hanging on the walls. The Commission really didn’t hold back when it came to expense.

“H-Hi. I’m here to visit.” Hawks greets the young woman at the front counter, hoping the cheap pair of sunglasses and beanie he’s wearing may be enough that she won’t ask for an autograph.

"Of course! Who are you here to see?" The receptionist asks, smiling tiredly. Hawks has to clear his throat to answer, to speak the name he hasn't dared acknowledge in years.

“Uh, Tomie. Tomie Takami.”

The receptionist nods, but Hawks notes the quirk of her brows that quickly smoothes back into one of professionalism.

"Something wrong?" He asks. She's quick to smile again, shaking her head.

"Not at all, I just don't recognize the name. But she could be under a different last name in our system - Is there another name she could be listed under?"

“Um, I don’t think so.” Hawks shakes his head, but he isn’t actually sure. It’s possible The Commission could have her under another name in order to protect any possibility of a connection being found between them.

She types some more into the computer, scrolls quietly for what must be just a few seconds but feels like hours. The closer she gets to finding her in the system, the closer he is to seeing her. If she even agrees to see him. Damn, but he hadn't thought about that. What if she turns him away? Again?

"How did you say you were related?" She asks.

"Uh, I'm her son. I know I haven't, um... I haven't visited. I just-"

"It's okay. Keigo, yes?" She verifies, smiles politely, but something is wrong. That smile is strained and she's already standing - closing down the system on her computer.

"Yeah, I-"

"Give me just one second, okay? Let me go get the director and he can speak with you." She says, offering him another water that he declines before she disappears entirely.

He probably should have expected this, honestly. They probably know exactly who he is thanks to The Commission, despite his attempt at remaining incognito. The director will probably want to meet him, to give him a tour, to try and squeeze a donation out of his pockets.

Hawks ends up waiting for longer than he expected. He sits down in one of the plush chairs in the waiting area off to the side, pulling out his phone to give Touya an update. He tells him it’ll likely take longer than he thought, so Touya may be on his own for dinner tonight.

After another few minutes, the receptionist returns with the director. He's an incredibly tall, older man in a suit with an easy smile. He leans over to say something else to the woman, who smiles back. Then he makes his way over to Hawks, who rises.

"It's nice to meet you. Keigo, yes?" The man reaches out a hand that Hawks takes and shakes. He's surprised he's still using his given name, but he nods in agreement.

"Dr. Ishikawa. I'm the director of this facility, have been for over a decade. I understand you're here to visit with your mother?"

"Y-Yeah, is something wrong? She doesn't want to see me?" He asks, his insecurities slipping out without meaning to.

"Nothing like that," The doctor assures him, "Why don't we go chat in my office real quick?" He offers. Hawks frowns but he nods all the same, wanting to get this over with already.

The office isn’t far from the waiting room – Down the hallway and on the right. Hawks doesn’t see anyone else on the way and realizes this place must be even bigger than he thought.

"Can I get you anything to drink? Water, tea?" The director asks. Hawks shakes his head no, so the director sits down in the desk across from him.

"Right. Then, Keigo-"

"Am I not on the list, or something? I was told I was, but if there's more paperwork I don't mind filling it out." He interrupts, anxious. He just wanted to visit his mother, now each second that passes longer between them has him second-guessing himself.

"You're on the list, Keigo." The director tells him, taking a sip of his own tea before opening a manila folder in front of him. Hawks glances over at it, but he can't make anything out.

"This is your first time visiting?" The director asks, making sure. Hawks nods, frustrated and feeling even more guilty.

"Right. No phone calls either, correct?" He checks. Hawks feels his jaw clench, has to be mindful to relax.

"Right."

The director picks up on his tone and smiles apologetically. He takes a breath before he sits forward, elbows resting on the expensive mahogany. He looks slightly nervous, though not as much as the receptionist. He maintains his professional demeanor even as he clearly grows uncomfortable

"Keigo, I'm sorry to have to tell you this. I wasn't aware you were not informed earlier, but... Your mother, Tomie, is no longer a patient with us."

Hawks blinks, confused.

"Oh. She was discharged?"

"She wasn't discharged." The director shakes his head. Keigo nods, understanding.

"Transferred? Is there another center I can visit her?" He assumes, already pulling out his phone to look into the new place.

"No, Keigo. I'm sorry, but... Your mother is deceased."

Hawks freezes in his movement. Sits, waiting for the correction. Or the punch line. He just… waits.

But the doctor doesn’t correct himself, doesn’t laugh it off. He looks at Hawks with something like sympathy, maybe pity, as he tries and fails to process the statement.

We’re going to go on our own adventures, and then when we’re ready, we’ll be together again.

"What? What do you mean?" Hawks doesn't understand - Was he too late? Did he just miss her?

"Your mother was a patient here for a little over a week..." The doctor starts, speaking slowly, "We have all of our patients assessed upon admission to our center, and there were no concerns for suicidal intentions at that time, so she wasn't placed on our watch list. But after a week, her constitution started to decline, and after the worst of the withdrawals subsided, she-”

"That's... She... She killed herself?" Hawks recognizes, distantly, that he's raising his voice. But he doesn't hear it - He can't hear anything over the rushing in his ears.

The director nods, sympathetically, "She took her own life, yes."

You’re going to go with these nice men, and I’m going to go somewhere else. But I promise you, we’ll see each other again. Okay?

"That's... when did this happen? You said - You said a week?" Hawks doesn't understand. A week - that would mean all this time… Since he was a child, she was already…

The director nods, pulls out a piece of paper from his file. He slides it over the desk to Hawks.

"This is a copy of her death certificate. It may have more information you could want to know, including the hospital she was taken to."

Hawks stares down at the characters on the page, but he doesn’t see them. He can’t see anything except tired smiles, tiny dots in frail arms, cracked lips that spoke in riddles.

"That's... where is she now? I don't - Why did no one tell me?" His voice cracks. He doesn't care.

"At the time of her death, you were next of kin, but you were a minor. Legally, we were ordered to tell your guardians, who at the time were the Commission. They spoke with our director at the time and we were told they would be informing you.

The Commission… They knew?

"They didn't tell me..." He mutters. 

Hawks startles when he realizes he can't see. His vision is too blurry, and it takes a moment to realize that's because he's crying.

"Shit, sorry." He rubs at his eyes as the director slides him a box of tissues. Hawks stares at them, but leaves them where they are.

"Where is she?"

Where is she? Where did she go? Where are her brittle bones, where are her lukewarm hugs and her fragile I love you's.

"That information I'm afraid we don't have. I can make a copy of everything in your mother's file, it will have all of the information that we have. Once she was transported to the hospital, they would have been the ones to release her remains."

Her remains.

“Release? To – To who?” He's starting to hyperventilate, but it's impossible to center himself when his entire universe, his foundation, is starting to rearrange itself.

“You would have to contact them for that information, but I would imagine they would have contacted The Commission, as we did.”

The Commission.

“How’s your mother, Asset?  I believe in her most recent report; they noted she hasn’t had an episode in… quite a few weeks.”

“The Commission… You’re sure they knew about this?” Hawks asks, tone hardening. The doctor notices and barely contains a flinch at the sudden change.

“Ah, yes. I believe we even have a copy of an email correspondence with a Kinoshita-San.” The doctor explains, rummaging through the folder.

“I’m so grateful that The Commission was able to find a facility to meet her needs, despite the… cost it has imbued us.” Kinoshita smirks, reminding Hawks of his place without lifting so much as a finger.

“You’ll send me a copy of that?” Hawks checks, motioning towards the folder as he stands abruptly. The doctor startles, but nods and stands himself.

“Of course, I’ll do it myself.” He promises. Hawks nods, closes his eyes and all but forces his tears to dry. He leaves the stupid sunglasses on the desk and shrugs off his restricting jacket, letting his wings stretch.

He doesn’t care who sees him now.

“Thanks, doc. We’ll be in touch.” He tells him, not looking back as he stalks out of the office.

He thinks the doctor calls something out to him, but Hawks doesn’t care enough to focus on anything except the way he’s vibrating out of his fucking skin.

All of those trainings, all of the interrogation practice, all of the dietary restrictions – The isolation – All of his appointments with Dr. Yuki…

While he was going through hell for the better part of his life, the entire reason for doing so was already buried six feet underground.

Hawks is hit by a cold rush of wind when he steps outside, and it doesn’t take him more than a moment before he’s launching himself up and into the air.

I love you, little bird

**********

A few hours later, Touya finds Keigo in their bed. It’s quiet, far too quiet, and Touya has been worried since too much time had passed without any word from the hero. All of the lights in the apartment are off, but the blue light of Keigo’s laptop is a beacon.

“Keigo? Keigo, what happened?” Touya rushes over to the bed, turns on a light as he goes.

Keigo looks… bad. His skin is flushed, eyes drawn tight in concentration as he studies whatever it is on the screen in front of him. Touya has seen him angry, irritable, and everything in between – But he’s never seen him taken a hold of whatever rage has wrapped itself tight around him.

“Keigo, what-”

Keigo holds up a hand, shushes him before he picks up his phone and dials a contact. Touya blinks, incredulous and slightly pissed off as Keigo  answers.

“Eraserhead? I need a favor.”

There’s a beat of silence, Touya can’t hear whatever the man responds with, but it seems to satisfy Keigo.

“The detective working Izuku’s case – Tsukauchi – You trust him?”

Keigo doesn’t even sound like himself. Is this what he sounds like working an actual case? Serious, devoid of even the smallest hint of human emotion.

“Good. I need his personal contact information.” Keigo tells him, pulling out a notepad from the other side of him and jotting down whatever it is Eraser tells him.

“Great, thanks. I’ll be in touch.”

When he hangs up the call, he hangs his head. He closes the laptop, slowly, and Touya officially runs out of patience.

“Keigo – What the hell? I’ve been fucking worried about you – I stopped by the hospital first when I couldn’t get a hold of you but they wouldn’t fucking tell me anything. Did you even go? The fuck didn’t you answer my calls for?” Touya’s actions are at odds with his tone.

He sits down softly on the bed, gently moves Keigo’s things out of the way so he can reach out for the hero. He takes a perfect hand in his scarred one and tugs, trying to catch his attention.

It works. Keigo looks up, but the stoic hero is gone. The flush on his cheeks only serves to worsen his appearance – His eyes are glassy, drowning in rivers that hurt Touya to see.

“Keigo – Baby, what’s wrong? What happened?”

Keigo doesn’t answer, but this time he isn’t ignoring Touya. He’s trying to breathe, to form words that will explain what’s going on. But it takes several minutes, several tries, and Touya’s shirt is soaked through to his shoulder from where Keigo has rested his head. But eventually, after murmured words of comfort from a villain whose memory of any such thing is rusty at best, Keigo’s breathing eases. He sniffs more than a few times, wipes at his eyes and clears his throat.

When he’s ready, he looks up. Touya’s breath catches in his throat, because he’s never seen somebody so devastatingly beautiful wear an expression promising just that – Devastation. Keigo’s golden eyes are molten fire, his smile is nothing short of a snarl, and his wings have never looked deadlier than they do in this moment, curled up around them both.

“I’m going to burn them to the fucking ground.”