Chapter Text
𝙵𝚁𝙾𝙼 𝙼𝙰𝚈 𝚃𝙾 𝙹𝚄𝙻𝚈
𝙼𝚒𝚍𝚜𝚞𝚖𝚖𝚎𝚛, 𝚊𝚝 𝚗𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝;
𝙸𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚜𝚔𝚢,
𝚂𝚝𝚒𝚕𝚕𝚗𝚎𝚜𝚜, 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚒𝚜.
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If there was anything or anywhere on Earth that Zenitsu could describe or call Hell, it was without a doubt the Hashiras and their horrific trainings that rivaled his master's drills. But if Zenitsu had to select whose training was Hell itself, it was definitely the Rock Hashira's training.
"FUUCK! THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE! IMPOSSIBLE, I TELL YOU! HOW CAN I MOVE THIS HUGE BOULDER BY MYSELF?! I CAN ALREADY FEEL MY BONES SHATTERING!"
A sigh came from his left.
"Calm down, Zenitsu. It can't be that bad now," Zenitsu heard a kind voice spoke. "Besides, if we do manage to move them, wouldn't you feel satisfied and powerful for moving it on your own?"
Zenitsu whipped his head and fumed dangerously.
"Tanjiro, have you forgotten what we just witnessed?!" He shrieked. "The Rock Hashira literally crouched on fire while he carried two logs and two medium-sized boulders on his shoulders without touching them! How in the world can we do that? It's impossible! This is Hell! Hell, I tell you!"
Tanjiro paled and shuddered at the memory before shaking his head to clear his mind. With sheer patience, he attempted to calm Zenitsu down but eventually gave up when he found it pointless and left to continue his training. Soon, he and Inosuke were among the first few to push the boulder across the field, which made Zenitsu the only one left in the trio to complete the training course.
Zenitsu cursed at his predicament. He hated how he was always the one lagging behind them. Why was he the most pathetic one in their circle?
A chirp drew his attention. Blinking, Zenitsu looked down to see his sparrow. He noticed a paper attached to its foot and raised a brow.
"What is it? A letter for me?"
The sparrow bobbed its head.
Grimacing, Zenitsu bent down and gently took the letter from the sparrow's talons. He read it, and after a few minutes, the letter crumpled in his hand, and it felt like hours his heart wailed in grief.
He didn't want to believe it. He didn't want to believe the contents of what was written in the letter; his master's death and Kaigaku's role behind it. But he had to, and when he did, he was swallowed by remorse and guilt. But most of all, uncontrollable rage.
For weeks which quickly turned into months, Zenitsu trained until his heart felt like exploding and his hands blistered. The more he thought about his grandfather, the more rage rumbled in his chest, and the desire to kill Kaigaku became lethal.
There were many times people had tried to stop him only to be on the receiving end of his roar. Whoever it was, be it his friends or the girls from the Butterfly Mansion, fell back and stared up at him in shock/horror, and after that, the annoying persistence of unwanted concern finally ceased.
It was fine, though. Zenitsu wouldn't have had it any other way.
Finally, the day he had impatiently waited for so long have arrived.
"You're there, right? Come on out. I know you're there," Zenitsu said calmly, listening to the familiar heartbeats of someone he once respected.
There was a long silence until the paper door slid open by a hand with long and dark nails like that of a demon's. A voice spoke gruffly, "That is no way to speak to your senior."
A figure stepped inside the room and smiled arrogantly at him.
"You look a little better than when I last saw you but, as usual, you're still shabby. It's been a while, Zenitsu."
Zenitsu's honey-golden eyes loured at a pair of turquoise eyes that had a Japanese kanji 'Six' in them. It took every mental willpower not to lose his cool, but how can he—when the person who was the reason why his Master committed seppuku was right in front of him?
"You haven't changed. You're still a shabby runt, still weak. Have you become a Hashira? Can you use anything besides the first form?" taunted Kaigaku.
Zenitsu tilted his head at him with a glower. He said calmly with noticeable rage traced in his voice, "You seem thrilled to have reached the very bottom of the upper ranks through merely filling in blank position."
Kaigaku looked at him in shock for a second before it quickly disappeared. He laughed, mostly from amusement. "You can talk back now, huh?"
Zenitsu ignored him. "Why did you become a demon?" he asked, cutting straight to the point.
Kaigaku's laughter trailed off. "Ha?"
Zenitsu furiously tells him that their Master died because of his sudden transformation and was enraged when the older boy—no, demon— just simply laughed.
"If the old man is dead, fine! I did everything I could, but he wouldn't make me his successor! The old bastard said he would make me a joint successor with scum like you! He may have been a former Hashira, but I have no use for a senile old man!"
Zenitsu curled his fists tightly until his knuckles turned white. "Jii-chan wasn't senile," he snapped before looking at Kaigaku with the most spiteful gaze he'd ever given to anyone.
"If I'm scum, then you're trash. I feel sorry for Jii-chan for having two pathetic successors... I can only do the first form, and you can do everything except that! How are you any better than me?" He taunted.
The veins in Kaigaku's temple bulged from rage.
"DON'T LUMP ME IN WITH YOU!" He screamed angrily, unsheathing his sword from his back.
"Thunder Breathing: Fourth Form, Distant Thunder!"
Zenitsu calmly took a form as he watched Kaigaku sprint toward him through his bangs. When the demon got close, he unsheathed his sword and disappeared from his spot in a blink of an eye.
Kaigaku's eyes widened, stunned. Where did he go?
Zenitsu stood behind Kaigaku, his back facing the demon as he glanced at him over his shoulder impassively. "You're too slow, you scum."
As if on cue, blood sprayed out from Kaigaku's neck, and the demon immediately curled his fingers around his neck in shock. He cut me! he realized.
Kaigaku whirled around and eyed Zenitsu incredulously with a hint of fear. Then, his face distorted with rage, and he lunged forward once more with steel resolve.
Zenitsu stared at Kaigaku's grin in a daze, which would usually scowl at the sight of him. Zenitsu knew he could finish the demon. He could've before they had even fought.
But a part of him hoped Kaigaku had changed.
Clearly, he didn't.
As Zenitsu recalled memories of watching the back of Kaigaku's frame and envying him from the sidelines, a ghost of a sad smile formed on his lips.
I'm sorry, Aniki.
Zenitsu took a stance. His calloused and blistered hands firmly clasped around his sword. Erratic sparks of white and yellow enveloped his body.
When he snapped his eyes open, they were glowing, and an incredible force of gravity suddenly vibrated the air, causing Kaigaku to flinch.
"Thunder Breathing, Seventh Form: Flaming Thunder God."
Zenitsu sprung, a dragon-like creature of fire and thunder following him, and Kaigaku's breath hitched. Before Kaigaku knew it, his head went flying—detached from his neck—and tumbled on the floor with a heavy thud.
After a moment of silence, the demon screamed in a fit of rage.
"DAMMIT, DAMMIT! SO THE OLD MAN REALLY WAS PLAYING FAVORITES! HE TAUGHT YOU SOMETHING HE NEVER TAUGHT ME!"
"No, Gramps was never like that," Zenitsu told Kaigaku calmly, looking down at him. "This is my form. A form I came up with myself. I wanted to fight alongside you using this move one day," he revealed. He could sense Kaigaku's doubts, but he could care less.
Kaigaku screamed again, but this time it was out of pure despair. His head and his body began to disintegrate.
"DAMN YOU! DAMN YOU!" he repeated at Zenitsu, like a curse.
Zenitsu stared at him wide-eyed. It was the first time he'd ever seen Kaigaku cry so hard and even express his fear.
"IF ONLY YOU HADN'T EXIST, IF ONLY MASTER PICKED ME AS HIS SUCCESSOR—NONE OF THIS WOULD'VE HAPPENED!"
Zenitsu felt a scowl form on his face.
"Even towards the end, Aniki," he began, cutting him off in mid-rant.
"You still cling onto the past like a greedy child. Why don't you just accept it and move on already?" he spat darkly.
"SHUT UP! SHUT THE HELL UP, YOU SHIT! I DON'T WANT TO HEAR THAT FROM THE LIKES OF YOU!"
At this point, Zenitsu lost all respect and sympathy for Kaigaku, only pity. As what was left of his ex-senior's body disintegrated, Zenitsu felt his eyelids getting heavier. The endless complaints and screaming from Kaigaku suddenly seemed far so away, yet so close at the same time.
Feeling himself swaying and shaking with tremor, Zenitsu collapsed to the floor and slowly closed his eyes. Even though he was the one who won and defeated Kaigaku, the bastard gave him just as much damage he did to him.
When Zenitsu opened his eyes again, he suddenly saw Jigoro on the other side of a river. His eyes widened slightly in a daze. Jii-chan?
Jigoro smiled at him through his tears and uttered out a single sentence:
"Zenitsu, you are my pride and joy."
Zenitsu felt tears rush down his cheeks. Before he could run over to him and apologize for his incompetence and failures, he jerked awake. After staring at the ceiling in silence for a couple of minutes, trying to comprehend the meaning behind his master's words, a thought slowly occurred to him.
Kibutsuji Muzan. He was still alive.
Zenitsu went stiff and stifled a groan. With a force he didn't expect he still had left, he pushed himself to his feet and ignored his legs screaming at him to stop as he followed the sounds of a fierce battle.
When he arrived, Tanjiro and the others were fighting Muzan, and he immediately rushed in to aid. But as he and the others fought, any attack on Muzan was proven fruitless. The demon progenitor's wounds would regenerate quickly as if he'd never been cut, and then he would return his own attacks ten times worse than before. And it was beginning to annoy Zenitsu.
Sharp huffs left Zenitsu's lips. His lungs felt like they were on fire. Truly, there was nothing more Zenitsu wanted than a long rest from his earlier battle with Kaigaku. But he couldn't do that, especially now if he wanted to survive. If he looked away from Muzan for a split second or even lose his concentration, he'll die in an instant from that monster's tendrils. So, Zenitsu pushed the pain aside and forced his muscles to move.
Just as despair creeped into his heart that probably they won't win against Muzan, Zenitsu suddenly remembered Rengoku-san's final words before the Hashira passed.
At his final moments, the Flame Hashira looked at him and his friends with complete faith and expressed his strong belief that they will defeat Muzan, which will finally bring tranquility and uninterrupted peace to the future generations. Even though their time on the train was short, Zenitsu had already looked to Rengoku as his inspiration and his role model, another Aniki. And he still was to this very day. And Zenitsu was sure Tanjiro and Inosuke felt the same.
"Stand tall and be proud. No matter how weak or unworthy you feel, keep your heart burning, grit your teeth and move forward."
The sound of a thunderclap made everyone jolt, and immediately they snapped their heads at Zenitsu in a start.
Muzan calmly turned his gaze to the blond and couldn't understand why he felt...threatened. The boy was weak compared to the demon slayers present, which was proven when he noticed the child could only use two forms of Thunder Breathing during their battle, but he was incredibly fast. Muzan praises him for that, but the boy was still weak, rarely giving him any injuries. Well, he supposes he could thank his regeneration skills for that. But at this moment, his instincts were screaming at him to kill that Thunder Breath User at once.
Thanks to Yushiro's talisman, Zenitsu could see Muzan's hearts and brains and could accurately pinpoint where they are, but he knew he could only stay in this form for a couple of minutes. This was the first time he ever passed his limits, and any more than that, he could die from overwhelming his body with its intense power.
Zenitsu inhaled sharply through his teeth as he took a stance. In a blink of an eye, he was already in front of the Demon King mid-air and swung his sword at an incredible speed, successfully destroying one of his hearts.
Tanjiro froze in shock when he smelt utter disbelief and surprisingly slight fear coming from Muzan. It was so strong, he resisted the urge to cover his nose as he followed Muzan's gaze and saw the demon was looking at Zenitsu with an enraged and pissed off look.
Tanjiro couldn't help but be struck with awe. Zenitsu was the cause of this, and Tanjiro wanted to scream at Uzui's face 'I-told-you-so' for all the times the Sound Hashira downgraded (even though it was playful) the blond. Zenitsu was strong, his friend just didn't realize it yet.
"YOU BRAT!" snarled Muzan, completely ignoring the others and turning towards him.
Zenitsu noticed he had fully caught Muzan's attention and quickly leaped back to dodge his tendrils. He couldn't help but be relieved and grateful he was fast enough to avoid getting hurt and hoped it would be enough to distract him until the sun rose.
When Zenitsu noticed the sky began to brighten, indicating the sun was about to rise, he attacked with everything he had.
Maybe, just maybe, victory was finally on their side.
Zenitsu took a stance once more and prepared to use his seventh form. But from the corner of his eye, he saw how one of Muzan's tendrils rushed towards Giyuu and noticed how Tanjiro had suddenly stopped fighting. His heart dropped, realizing what his burgundy-haired friend was planning to do. No.
Tanjiro sprinted and pushed Giyuu with all of his might, ignoring the appalled expression from the Water Hashira. He waited for the pain, but it never came. Instead, he felt someone shove him roughly from the back, causing him to knock into Giyuu's chest.
Surprised, he whipped his head over his shoulder to see who it was, and in his field of vision, he saw crimson. Some of that crimson sprayed onto his face, and his mouth opened in horror. A scream ripped from his throat.
"ZENITSU!"
A true demon slayer never drops his sword, not even on the brink of death, Zenitsu recalled Jigoro's words. If you want to protect someone, protect them with everything you got. Never dare loosen your grip!
Zenitsu felt his eyes sting as he hunched forward to gag out the blood that flooded in his throat.
But it hurts so much, Jii-chan.
"MONITSU!" Zenitsu heard erratic footsteps in his direction but it stopped, most likely because of Muzan.
"Humans; all of you are just the same. Always so willing to throw your life away for others who will inevitably face the same end. This is why you humans are no better than roaches."
A muffled cry escaped his lips when Muzan's tendril continued to go through his abdomen, causing more blood to soak through his uniform and haori quicker.
"How disappointing yet admirable," he heard the demon said coldly before he felt his body raise and fling to the side.
Zenitsu crashed into a wall and saw stars. After regaining his senses, he breathed sharply and ragged as he stared at the broken ceiling. He couldn't help but think:
Is this the end for me?
An image of Nezuko's smile flashed in his head, and his finger twitched. With a grunt, Zenitsu rose to his feet. He buckled his knees from falling and prayed to God he still had the will to continue fighting; but way too soon, his muscles gave up on him, and he collapsed. Blood began to pool underneath him. His blood.
Zenitsu could indistinctly hear his friends screaming at him to stay awake, and he muffled a sob. As much as he wanted to get back up, he couldn't move his limbs, and that frustrated him. It hurt to even breathe. Maybe it was finally time for him to rest, he thought. After all, he was tired of battling demons every day where it was a life-or-death situation for him. But even as he thought about entering his eternal slumber, his hand was still clenching onto his sword tightly, not daring to loosen his grip. Zenitsu still wanted to fight, to live longer, to witness Muzan's end.
A face suddenly entered his view, though it was blurring. Zenitsu didn't have to take a guess it was Tanjiro. The demon slayer mark on the forehead and the messy burgundy hair gave it away.
Zenitsu tried to focus but it was only brief. Red wine eyes that were usually kind and gentle were flashing with a look stressed with anger and grief. He felt a pressure on his wound and grunted in pain. The shaking in Tanjiro's fingers only grew worse as he felt the younger boy press harder against the canon-hole in his abdomen, but blood continued to pour from the wound.
"Zen...Zenitsu, why?" He heard Tanjiro stressed.
A weak chuckle left his lips. Zenitsu knew Tanjiro would be furious that he took a blow that was meant to kill him, but it didn't matter to him.
Tanjiro had people eagerly waiting for him, like Nezuko.
He doesn't. They all died.
Tanjiro had a bright and beautiful future waiting for him.
He doesn't.
Zenitsu supposed he should feel bitter by this fact, but he couldn't. Not towards kind Tanjiro, who was the first person to accept him even after knowing his cowardice.
With a shaky breath, Zenitsu parted his lips to speak but no words could be said. His eyes teared up. He wanted to speak, even if it was just for a second. He hadn't thanked Tanjiro yet for his kindness. He also hadn't thanked Inosuke for being his friend, even though they argued with each other most of the time (though he knew Inosuke was happy and grateful on the inside just as much as he was). But most of all, he wanted to thank them for never losing faith in him. Yet the words refused to pass through his numbed lips.
Giyuu felt his heart weighed with guilt as he watched Tanjiro cradled Zenitsu in his arms while sobbing, and he couldn't help but be frustrated at himself. He was saved yet again.
Giyuu tightened his jaw. When he saw Tanjiro risked his life to save him, just like Sabito did back at the Final Selection, he was so scared because he didn't want to lose anyone else again. Why couldn't the burgundy head stop being so selfless and focus on himself?
But just as he thought Tanjiro was going to die, the boy who was trained underneath Uzui saved them with his incredible speed, but at the cost of his life. Why?
Giyuu clenched his teeth and felt his eyes sting. He never asked them to do that, he never asked to be saved, so why? Was he that pitiful?
Zenitsu's ear twitched when he heard a sad sound coming from Giyuu. He shifted his eyes to the man and sent him a smile. It strained past through his numbed lips, but he hoped it was enough to tell the Water Pillar that there was nothing to be sad about. Zenitsu assumed Giyuu got the message—because the man's blue eyes widened in shock for a second before he turned away with a painful expression.
"Tanjiro, we need to go," said the Water Hashira. "He's not going to make it."
Tanjiro protested; but when he felt a cold hand touch his crimson fingers, he snapped his head down at Zenitsu with tearful red eyes.
Zenitsu almost wanted to wail at his sound. Even though they were in the middle of fighting against Muzan, he could hear both Tanjiro and Inosuke were crying and reaching out for him in the depths of their hearts. It made a few tears escape his eyes.
"Go," he mouthed, squeezing his hand gently.
Tanjiro's tears poured furiously. He let out a sob, hugging Zenitsu tightly and whispering strings of apologies before gently laying him down and ran after Giyuu into the battlefield.
Zenitsu took shallow breaths. Using the Breathing technique won't help him anymore at this point, not like back at the mountain. He lost too much blood and his body withstood so many damages, it surprised him he was still hanging onto that thin thread that will eventually snap in a few seconds. It would be a miracle if he managed to hold onto his life until the medics arrived, but that was unlikely since they were away from this battle.
Zenitsu stared at the vast sky above him; how red, yellow, and indigo clashed together, and raised his hand towards it in a grasping motion. He felt warm tears rush down his cheeks.
Somewhere deep in his mind, Zenitsu desperately wished he had a different ending. If the Gods were up there and could grant one wish of his, he wished he could've lived his life a little bit differently and spent more time with the people he loved if he knew he was going to die so soon.
But this ending wasn't so bad, he thought. He was content dying this way; dying heroically to save Tanjiro.
A shaky breath left his lips.
But why does he feel sad? Why does his heart hurts, not from his injuries but from the sadness and the realization that his friends and Nezuko will see a tomorrow without him?
Zenitsu dropped his hand and struggled to breath as his eyes laden with exhaustion. The world around him began to fade at its edges. Yet he kept his gaze fixed on the others fighting against Muzan. A small smile twitched onto his lips. Zenitsu knew without a doubt they will win. He believed that his friends and the Hashiras will defeat Muzan. Sure, there will be grievances and losses, but everyone fought bravely and strongly to the end. That's all that mattered.
That alone was enough for him to rest peacefully.
Zenitsu closed his eyes. 'I'm sorry, Jii-chan. This is where we part ways.'
- - -
As Zenitsu began to follow the endless line of souls onto the bridge which led to the Afterlife, the Shinigami suddenly grabbed his hand and looked at him in the eye.
"Your candle has not burnt down yet. Wake up."
Zenitsu woke up with a startled gasp.
EXTRA:
The battle was over.
Kibutsuji Muzan was finally defeated.
Tanjiro laid on the dirt, panting. He was exhausted and hungry. But most of all, he was tired. After regaining his humanity, thanks to Kanao injecting the remaining of Tamayo's and Shinobu's medicine in him, he'd lost the ability to see from his right eye and move his left arm. But that doesn't stop him from crawling over to his precious friend.
Tanjiro heard footsteps approaching him.
Giyuu reached his hand out and said sternly, "Tanjiro. Stop. You're going to hurt yourself—"
"SHUT UP! DON'T TOUCH ME!"
Giyuu froze, and everyone stared in disbelief. They had never thought Tanjiro was capable of raising his voice, especially at Giyuu of all people.
Tanjiro reached his right arm out and grabbed onto Zenitsu's shoulder, shaking him. "Zenitsu, wake up. We won."
For a long time, he earned no response from his friend. He shook him again.
"It's okay now, Zenitsu. You can wake up now. Open your eyes."
Silence.
Tanjiro felt tears run down his cheeks and bit the inside of his cheek to stifle his sobs. He buried his face in Zenitsu's tattered uniform, ignoring the blood that smeared on his face when he did, and cried silently. He moved his head left and right, as if he was in denial, before he shook uncontrollably. A sob involuntarily escaped his lips, followed by incoherent muffled screams and wails.
Tanjiro felt a flattened palm gently touch his back. Turning his head, he saw his little sister, who was crying messily at the sight of Zenitsu. A choked cry escaped him, and he struggled to form words. "N-Nezu..ko... Z-Zenitsu... H-He saved me, and n-now he's..."
Dead.
Tanjiro heard his sister say nothing, only hearing her soft cries mixed with his ugly deep sobs.
"I-Impossible. You're kidding me, right?" a voice breathed in disbelief.
Tanjiro gasped silently when he felt Zenitsu's body was ripped from him, and snapped his head up to see Inosuke without his mask had grabbed Zenitsu by the shoulders. He felt a fire ignite in him.
"Inosuke! Put him down!" he bellowed.
Nezuko reached forward and placed her hand on his shoulder, but Inosuke shrugged her hand away.
"Monitsu! If you don't open your eyes right now, I will kill you myself! Wake up!" screamed Inosuke, shaking Zenitsu aggressively.
When he was only met with silence, he pressed his ear against Zenitsu's chest and held his breath, waiting for a heartbeat.
There was none.
Tears steadily flowed from Inosuke's eyes, and he dropped his head, his face buried against Zenitsu's chest. He croaked, "No. This can't be happening. You're the toughest coward I've ever met."
"... so why did you decide to leave us?"