Chapter Text
Golden eyes stared longingly at the moon that hung in the sky. Blood trickled from the corner of his lips, his tongue sensing its metallic flavor as he laid there in constant agony. His bones creaked, squeezing painfully as if someone was trying to push two blocks of stone into one. It hurt… it hurt so bad. His muscles, his blood, his lungs… everything made a part of his mind plead for death or some sort of relief. “Agonizing” wasn’t even a strong enough word for how much it hurt. However, the pain of it all wasn’t that surprising. After all, his body was being forced to take a form it was never meant to.
His gaze felt unfocused, his mind barely held together to form coherent thoughts as his injured body laid on top of that broken wooden structure. He could feel his cheeks become tickled by the stream of tears that leaked from the corners of his eyes. Much to his frustration, these tears of his were just obscuring his vision, the world becoming more of a colorful blur than a forest under a night sky. He could even feel how his nasal passage began to be blocked by mucus. It forced him to focus on breathing through his mouth.
“Breathe. Just… breathe. Use the breathing technique to slow the poison down as much as you can.”
Zenitsu couldn’t even move his limbs, his body overtaken by numbness. It was not a numbness that could numb the pain, just a numbness that came with some twisted version of paralysis. The most he could do was give the faintest of twitches, but even then… he’s pretty sure he’s lost even that ability. His entire body was being affected, a lack of feeling in his throat.
He wanted to scream, he wanted to sob, he wanted to plead…
Yet, this damn poison forced him to suffer in silence.
Zenitsu wondered how everything went so wrong. Just a while ago, his companions and he were resting safely at the wisteria house. They were healing from injuries, but they were at least safe. The trio may not be the best group of individuals, but Zenitsu couldn’t help himself from enjoying their strange company and interactions regardless of how annoying it could get.
… He truly wished he could go back to that time and have it last forever.
The harsh reality of life would never permit it though.
Zenitsu wanted to curse this damn mission as well as this whole damn mountain. Just as that wave of anger appeared though, it dissipated just as quickly. What was the point of wasting his remaining energy on such feelings? It wasn’t going to change anything. So, he let go of that unnecessary anger. He wasn’t the type to feel genuine rage anyways.
When he really thought about it, he brought this fate upon himself. Zenitsu remembered how he fell behind when Tanjiro, Inosuke, and he finally arrived at Natagumo Mountain. The sounds he heard and the aura the location emitted reeked of death and despair. The blonde wanted to no part of it.
Yet, if only he had been a little braver, he wouldn’t have let himself sit on that dirt path for minutes as his companions ran into those dark woods. By the time he finally went in, he was alone. There was no one he could rely on or have the company of. Tanjiro and Inosuke could be hurt, they could need his help, he could need their help...
Just like usual though, he was a weak crybaby who could never pull himself together.
When he ran away from that spider with a human head, he had ended up sprinting straight into the nest of a spider demon. Of course, he was stupid enough to let himself get bitten and of course, that bite had poison in it. It felt like parts of his life were flashing through his mind when he finally gained the ability to fight back. With the use of his Thunderclap and Flash Sixfold, he was able to swiftly decapitate the demon responsible for these spider transformations.
Even though he had slain the troublesome demon, Zenitsu found himself winning the battle but losing the war. If he concentrated, he is sure that he was screwed the moment that demon commanded those transformed humans to inject him with more poison. It was mainly adrenaline that kept him from feeling it too much, but he is sure that he was milliseconds too slow when several of those stingers targeted him.
He isn’t quite sure how many of them pierced his skin, but he is sure that the amount of poison he was given has guaranteed his end.
“… I’m going to die.”
Zenitsu found himself blinking slowly at the thought. This was exactly what he feared when he was training to become a Demon Slayer. He feared being eaten by demons or dying because of this dangerous job. It didn’t help that he always failed at learning any of the other Thunder Breathing Forms. Maybe if he knew more than just Thunderclap and Flash, he would feel a little more capable. However, that wasn’t the case and he was thrust into a dangerous world with only a single move as his primary attack.
It wasn't any of the other Forms, but maybe... he should have used…
The blonde shook those thoughts away. What was the point of wondering about the “what if”s anymore? Again, it won’t change anything.
“Jii-chan… Tanjiro… Insosuke… Nezuko-chan…”
It was slowly becoming more of a challenge to breathe. He… He was going to die before the poison can force him into becoming a spider. In a way… that was good. If there was no cure to such a condition, then he’d be glad to die before becoming a creepy and crawling creature. A part him so hopes that Chuntaro found help. The small sparrow had looked at him with such sorrow. Zenitsu felt bad for causing that. He was going to feel bad about the mourning he’d surely bring for everyone else.
“Would they miss me?”
Zenitsu would never know. He was at least sure that Tanjiro and Jii-chan would be sad. Tanjiro was just too kind to not be sad about his death and Jii-chan pretty much raised him. Yet…
“Jii-chan… you must be very upset and disappointed in me. I’m sorry… I’m sorry I couldn’t live to your expectations.”
His mouth twitched. He… He can’t breathe. He can’t breathe.
During the rest of that everlasting night, the cooling body of Agatsuma Zenitsu was finally discovered. The blonde’s limbs were slightly shorter, but his body was still mainly human. While unfortunate, many who helped to retrieve it were at least glad that this teen’s body wasn’t altered too badly. At least this child’s body was given the blessing of remaining human even when this boy’s soul has left.
At some point during the day, a pair of Demon Slayers would continue to remain silent within the Butterfly Mansion, the pair being approached about Zenitsu’s fate.
“I’m… I’m sorry. The person you’re describing… he was found killed in action. He succumbed to the poison of a demon that he must have slain before his… passing.”
Tanjiro drowned in regret for not being a better person for Zenitsu while Inosuke was forced to grieve in silence due to his throat. He may have found the blonde annoying at times, but… he actually did enjoy the time he shared with him.
Tanjiro wished he had been more considerate towards Zenitsu.
Inosuke wished he had the strength and ability to protect Zenitsu.
He felt his body floating in a dark abyss, only to have his face contort in slight pain at the sudden sting of his flesh. Did he get burned or something?
Golden eyes slowly opened only to blink in surprise at the calming blue sky above him. He could smell something like the scent of smoke or burning as he looked around, taking notice of the luscious green blades of grass he laid on.
“… What…?”
“Zenitsu! Can you hear me!?”
The blonde’s mind focused, finally gaining the clarity he needed to truly take in the world around him. That’s when he saw the face of a familiar elder.
“J-Jii-chan…?”
Before Zenitsu knew it, Jii-chan was helping him up and getting him a doctor like a worried father. The blonde was still so confused until a burnt section of his skin rubbed against his haori. The pain snapped him awake even more if that was possible and Zenitsu remembered.
“I… I died. I’m supposed to be dead! Why… How…?” A part of him wondered if it was a dream. Some sort of hallucination from getting struck by lightning. However, he disposed of that idea quickly. It made no sense. It would have made a little more sense if he was resting in a bed and told he was asleep for a very long time, but even then, it just wasn’t possible.
Zenitsu found himself unable to rely on many things. His hearing though… that… that was something he could always rely on. He knows for sure there was no way he imagined the kind sound Tanjiro emitted nor that wild beat of Inosuke. There was no way he imagined that scary mansion with the siblings nor all the pain he suffered through.
There was no way he imagined such a detailed and slow death on that mountain.
Zenitsu finally remembered the last words he thought before his death.
“I wish I could have done better. I wish I could have been a better person who could help everyone in need. I wish I could live up to everyone’s expectations. … I… I don’t want it to end here…”
As the doctor wrapped the areas where the lightning burned his skin, Jii-chan hovering by his bedside, Zenitsu couldn’t help but wonder in awe if this was some sort of second chance.
A part of him internally smiled. “I… I can do better! I’ll do better this time!”
It wouldn’t be until way later did this blessing become a curse.
As Zenitsu realized too late what kind of special Hell he had been forced into, a part of him couldn’t help, but wish he actually died that night on the mountain.