unduepenance



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    Ilya had thought it was dumb, when Galina suggested it. A code word for when his mental health was bad—he and Shane didn’t even have a code word for sex, and Ilya was regularly tying Shane to the bed and slapping his ass until it was as red as a tomato.

    “Is there a reason you’re calling me?” Shane asks now, voice echoey over the phone. “Or is this part of your strategy to win our argument?”

    Ilya swallows hard. “Constantinople,” he says.

    --

    Or: Ilya goes through a rough patch.

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    11 Jul 2026

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    "Shane, do you have any comment on allegations that your on-ice performance declined after you started your affair with Rozanov? Have you seen the blogger who has been re-analyzing your stats and making that case?"

    Shane wrinkled his brow. "Don't call it an affair," he said, reflexively. "That makes it sound like we were cheating. And no, no comment."

    "I will comment," Ilya said. "It is ridiculous."

    "I'm sorry," Shane said, his brain just now catching up to the second half of the question. He really hated the word "affair." It had distracted him. Too much, apparently. "Did you say something about my stats?"

    ----

    Or: Shane had no intention of giving the press any information about when he and Ilya started hooking up. Ever. It was so thoroughly nobody's business.

    But what was he supposed to do, just let people be wrong about his stats?

    (Set post-Long Game, with vague Long Game spoilers.)

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    11 Jul 2026

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    ”What the fuck were you thinking putting me down as your emergency contact?”

    ”What?” Ilya blinked, the sudden change in atmosphere clearly having caught him off guard. ”That I want you here?” he said like it was obvious, like that would be reason enough to put everything they were and everything they had at risk.

    //

    Or, Shane thinks that being an emergency contact is an emergency.

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    11 Jul 2026

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    Some people wanted a fic based on this tweet of my #DontYouDareFuckingFreeMe fic:

    Josh @mtrlfan703

    I’ll be honest and admit that if those two had made out on the ice before this, I would have assumed they had lost a bet.

    JayJason @Youdon’tknowme

    ‘Losing a bet’ would have let them get away with so much, though… Like why are you at your rival's game? I lost a bet. Why are you wearing your rival's jersey? I lost a bet. Why are you hanging out together? I lost a bet. Why are you making him breakfast in bed? I lost a bet. 

    Josh @mtrlfan703

    Hell, I’d have believed it if they said they got drunk and their teammates dared them to get married in Vegas.

    JayJason @Youdon’tknowme

    ‘First one to annul the marriage loses’ and no one is surprised when they end up sharing a tombstone…

    So I decided to try and write it.

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    11 Jul 2026

  5. Public Bookmark 76

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    "We’ll try to join you all for the barbecue on Saturday," Hollander says. "But I think we might not be able to. If we do make it, we’ll have to leave early. Is that – I hope you don’t mind?”

    “No problem, it’s casual as always,” Bood tells him. “Any special plans?”

    “It’s our anniversary,” Hollander says.

    Hazy looks confused. “Wasn’t that earlier this month?”

    “Oh, yeah,” Hollander says. “Yes, that’s – you’re right, this is a different – um, this was the first time we, we – kissed.”

    ---

    Five times Ilya and Shane told the Centaurs the truth about missing an event because of their anniversary, and one time they lied.

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    11 Jul 2026