thebigbanjo



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    In the offseason, a steamy video of Shane and Ilya dancing at a club goes viral. Already out and married for years at this point, the first husbands of hockey can't believe this is news. For once, it's Shane whose media responses blow it up even further. Ilya’s not about to let an opportunity to compete with Shane go to waste.

    Or

    The rivalry still hasn't died, they just find new ways to keep it going. Why choose silence when you can choose violence?

    Series
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    English
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    41,932
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    7/7
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    26 May 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    “What is there to talk about?”

    “What’s there to talk about?!” Hollander scoffed, shaking his head. “You’re playing for my fucking team!”

    “I know.”

    “Why did you have to go and get traded?! You realise we’re going to have to see each other every day from now on, and play together, and-”

    “Yes,” Ilya interrupted. He didn’t want to know how long Hollander’s list was. “I know.”

    Hollander took a deep breath. “Okay, listen,” he said. “Just so we’re clear - we don’t know each other outside of playing against each other, right?”

    “Right.”

    “And we can’t- can’t hook up anymore.”

    ~

    OR: Ilya gets traded to Montreal in October 2014. He's lonely, and angry, and he misses Boston. He doesn't know if it helps that Hollander is there or not.

    title from Buckle by Florence and the Machine

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    93,307
    Chapters:
    30/30
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    20 May 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Jackie
    No offence but this is not what I expected from Shane’s girlfriend.

    Lily (Shane)
    I know he is so boring and I am so fun

    Lily (Shane)
    But opposites attract is the saying, no?

    Lily (Shane)
    Also I am not girlfriend

    Jackie
    Why not!!

    Jackie
    Sorry that was nosy

    Lily (Shane)
    Is okay

    Lily (Shane)
    Is complicated

    Lily (Shane)
    But I cannot let him go because he gives head like champion

    Jackie
    Girl!!!!!!

    (spreading the jackie & ilya bestie gospel!)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,547
    Chapters:
    2/2
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    8
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    1,311
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    29,880
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    18 May 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    “You didn’t like it the last time we tried it,” Shane said.

    Ilya gave a one-shouldered shrug. “Was years ago. Maybe it is an acquired taste, like licorice.”

    “You also don’t like licorice,” Shane pointed out.

    “Yes, but I keep trying it because Luca likes it so much.”

    “And then you make a face and tell him how awful it is.”

    “When have I ever told you your dick is awful?” Ilya said, looking mildly offended. “I am its number one fan.”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,709
    Chapters:
    1/1
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    8
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    723
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    13 May 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Wyatt was not, like, nosy. For sure, he was interested. He was curious. He engaged with people, obviously, because most people were interesting and engaging and had cool thoughts and said neat stuff if you asked.

    So, no. Wyatt wasn’t nosy, but he wasn’t stupid, either.

    Or: A Bromance Blooms In Ottawa
    Or: The Ballad of Wyatt and Ilya

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    18,684
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    18
    Comments:
    1,508
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    18,727
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    13 May 2026