neverlaughatlivedragonsbilboyoufool
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Sirius narrowed his eyes. “Christ, you're a brat.”
“What’s a christ,” Regulus blurts, and smacks a hand over his mouth in desperation. “Nevermind. I’m–”
Fine, is what he tries to say, but his throat actually spasms, and the word dies before it's ever born.
Trying again, he clears his throat and carefully selects, “I can handle this myself.”
Or: Regulus Black, many, many cups of ale, a pinch of veritaserum, and one Sirius Black.
Bookmarked by neverlaughatlivedragonsbilboyoufool
17 Jun 2025
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When the Marauders return for their 6th year at Hogwarts, Sirius isn't the only one to notice that Remus got, well… hot over the summer. He is, however, the one to come up with the perfect solution. That is, until a certain James Potter and Lily Evans decide to put aside their differences in the interest of some combined mischief.
- Language:
- English
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- 25,076
- Chapters:
- 9/9
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- 9
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- 478
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- 13,506
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Bookmarked by neverlaughatlivedragonsbilboyoufool
16 Jun 2025
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re·gres·sion: return to a former or less developed state
16 years have passed since the Battle of Hogwarts and the Wizarding world has gained some semblance of peace.
Draco Malfoy is no longer the hot-headed boy he was during the war, but has matured and faced his dark past. However, Draco's growth is tested when occult-like murders rock the DMLE and he is asked to return to England to assist in solving them.
Hermione Granger is still haunted by the ghosts of her past. She works for the DMLE as a rune and ward specialist, but she harbors resentment towards the Ministry of Magic for its lack of progress following Voldemort's defeat.
What happens when Draco and Hermione are assigned as partners to solve the murders? Will they be able to place their differences aside and catch the culprit before another Dark Lord emerges?
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 189,037
- Chapters:
- 32/32
- Comments:
- 900
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- 2,716
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- 1,867
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Bookmarked by neverlaughatlivedragonsbilboyoufool
05 Jun 2025
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Hermione Granger had been asked—and agreed—to do many absurd things since learning she was a witch, usually involving Harry Potter. This long list included, in no particular order, smuggling baby dragons, being placed unconscious at the bottom of a lake surrounded by merpeople, and traveling back in time to fly an escaped convict to safety on the back of a mythical creature. But returning to a Death Eater-controlled Hogwarts pretending to be Daphne Greengrass may have been the most ridiculous yet.
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Slow burn, wartime Dramione. Complete.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 208,310
- Chapters:
- 30/30
- Collections:
- 44
- Comments:
- 1,715
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- 11,537
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- 5,288
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Bookmarked by neverlaughatlivedragonsbilboyoufool
20 Apr 2025
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Draco Malfoy and the Mortifying Ordeal of Being in Love by isthisselfcare
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
08 Apr 2022
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Hermione straddles the Muggle and Magical worlds as a medical researcher and Healer about to make a big discovery. Draco is an Auror assigned to protect her from forces unknown – to both of their displeasure.
Features hyper-competent, fiery Hermione and lazy, yet dangerous, Draco. Slow burn.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 199,548
- Chapters:
- 36/36
- Collections:
- 206
- Comments:
- 13,429
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- 100,860
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- 31,097
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- 5,473,011
Bookmarked by neverlaughatlivedragonsbilboyoufool
22 Mar 2025