agc_007
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Summary
Robert slumps into his chair, headset half-on, the SDN bullpen still humming with the last dregs of the night shift.
He sips into his mug... Blegh.
The coffee tastes like battery acid, but it really is the only thing keeping his eyes open.
Then the comm crackles.
“Hello, Robert.”
Phenomaman’s voice, flat as a gravestone.
“I would like to learn about intercourse from a human person.”
Robert chokes on his coffee. Why is this his life?
Series
- Part 1 of Dispatch NSFW Fics
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 216,953
- Chapters:
- 20/20
- Collections:
- 1
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- Bookmarks:
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Bookmarked by agc_007
12 Aug 2026
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“Is this a prank?” Daniel asks. “Have you hidden cameras somewhere? If I agree to this, am I gonna end up on r/Cryptids?”
Armand rolls his eyes. “No, Daniel. Don’t be absurd.”
“Oh, I’m being absurd?”
“Do you know why the bald eagle partakes in such behavior?” Armand asks, sounding like a sexy, eternally young David Attenborough.
Daniel does, but he can tell Armand wants to be the one to tell him. “Why?”
Armand takes a step closer. “It’s a courtship ritual, beloved.”
***
Armand comes up with a brilliant use for the cloud gift; Or, "Armand is NOT a deadbeat maker" Propaganda
Series
- Part 2 of Devil's Minion Propaganda
Bookmarked by agc_007
11 Aug 2026
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I want to do with you what spring does with the cherry trees by lexdelioncourt
Fandoms: Interview with the Vampire (TV 2022)
14 Feb 2026
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“You look very handsome tonight,” he says, his eyes flickering back down to the flowers. “Do you have… plans?”
Six months they’ve been back together, and Armand still doesn’t seem to realize that the only plans Daniel ever wants to have are ones that involve him. Like he can’t possibly allow himself to hold out any hope that Daniel might actually want to spend time with him.
“Well, yeah, hopefully,” Daniel says, holding out the flowers, his palms sweating. “Be my Valentine?”
Armand’s eyes go wide and he looks at the flowers again. “Are these for me?”
“No, they’re for the Robinson’s next door,” Daniel says, and immediately regrets it when Armand’s brow crinkles. “Yeah, babe, they’re for you.”
~~~
In which Daniel Molloy makes up for 72 years of terrible Valentine's Days by giving Armand his first proper one in 516.
Bookmarked by agc_007
05 Jul 2026
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Summary
His hands smooth up and down Armand’s sides, eyes invariably drawn back to the bralette.
“Christ, this is so hot,” he growls.
He can’t seem to keep his hands off it, fingers exploring the lace, the contrast between fabric and skin. He holds Armand by the sides, staring with so much desire and reverence that Armand feels buoyed by it, made all-powerful. A thumb slips under the bottom hem of the bralette; a moment later, Daniel pinches it, snaps the elastic against Armand’s skin.
“Can I fuck you in it?” he murmurs, leaning in to nose at the decorative strap running over Armand’s shoulder.
“Yes,” Armand breathes. “Yes. Please.”
Or: Armand puts on a bralette and wears it to a party; Daniel is very calm, normal and hinged about it for 5.9k words.
Series
- Part 15 of A brick row house and two old men
Bookmarked by agc_007
05 Jul 2026
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138 lbs, for the metrically challenged by hummingbeeoOo
Fandoms: Interview with the Vampire (TV 2022)
01 Nov 2024
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Summary
“Hey, babe?”
Ah, there it is.
“Yes?” Armand asks, chin still rested in his hand, still idly scrolling the results on eBay; he does so love to play along.
Daniel strolls into the parlour, their bathroom scale in his hands, a sharp gleam in his eyes. He sets the scale down in the middle of the room. Armand looks at Daniel, then down at the scale, then back at Daniel again.
“O-kay…” he says, in his best imitation of Daniel yet, if he says so himself; Daniel’s grin is a clear stamp of approval.
“Yeah, come over here, I wanna see something.”
Or: there is exactly zero way a beanpole like Armand weighed a measly 62.5 kilograms a day in his adult life.
Series
- Part 2 of A brick row house and two old men
Bookmarked by agc_007
03 Jul 2026