Voidflower

a vintage-style photograph of a jacob's sheep ram. the ram has four curved horns.



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    [Audio length: 1:12:40]

    2014: Ilya Rozanov shocks the world and breaks Shane Hollander’s heart by disappearing without explanation, and without a goodbye kiss.

    2024: A devastating injury forces Shane to retire early, so he moves to a small town to coach girls hockey and figure out what the hell to do with the rest of his life.

    When recently divorced Ilya Rozanov walks into the rink with his twin girls, Shane has to decide if he’s brave enough to risk a second chance on a broken heart, and a rekindled romance with the first and only boy he ever loved.

    ***

    “So.” Ilya cleared his throat. “Should we tell the girls their Papa and their coach used to date?”

    “We didn’t date. We hooked up a few times, then you disappeared.” Shane looked away to hide his heartbreak as he lied, “It doesn’t even matter. It’s not like I loved you or anything.”

    “No, of course not.” Ilya tried to smile through a lie of his own, “I didn’t love you either.”

    Podfic of

    Déjà vu by NotEvenCloseToStraight

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    28
    Chapters:
    9/?
    Comments:
    128
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    236
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    03 Aug 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Ilya is a young man in America. Here he is in the off hours.

    Language:
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    1/1
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    03 Aug 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane dropped his gaze. “You’re really going to make me ask?”
    “Yes,” Ilya said. “You ask, maybe you get. So, ask.”
    “Okay,” Shane said. “I want you to fuck me.”
    Ilya started to laugh.
    “Don’t—this isn’t a fucking joke, alright?” Shane snapped. “Shut up. I want it to be different. Or, no—the same, but more. I want you to just make me fucking take it. Shit. I don’t know how to ask you for this.”
    “No, no, is good start so far,” Ilya said. “Go back to the part where I get to make you fucking take it. That’s good. Tell me more.”

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,030
    Chapters:
    1/1
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    451
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    03 Aug 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Ilya Rozanov has spent ten years circling Shane Hollander. Ten years of hotel rooms and secret phone calls. Ten years of pretending he doesn't feel it, doesn't need it, doesn't wake up reaching for someone who's already gone. Ten years convincing himself he's not good enough. That he's not worth it.

    Then a plane needs to make an emergency landing near Montreal, and Yuna Hollander is on it.

    So when Shane calls him from a bathroom floor, unable to breathe, Ilya stops pretending.

    After five hundred miles of frozen highway, three and a half hours of driving like a man possessed, a hospital waiting room full of people who have every reason to hate him, and a boy who looks at him like he's something worth keeping, Ilya may have learned a thing or two about what it means to be loved—and to let himself love freely.

    Language:
    English
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    104,414
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    1,035
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    12,119
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    4,411
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    241,411

    03 Aug 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    There really was no way he would have been able to break up with Shane tonight. He is a weak, weak man. He is a weak man who needs to get the fuck out of here before he goes back on Twitter and causes problems, or before he does something else insane like sniffing through Shane’s underwear drawer or running a reverent hand across his yoga mat. All around him is Shane Shane Shane and Shane is not here. Shane is at Montreal General Hospital in unknown condition, possibly alone.

    Ilya is putting his shoes on before he fully realizes that he’s decided to go to the hospital.

     

    Shane Hollander is carted off the ice after getting hit by Cliff Marlow. An exhausted and still-grieving Ilya Rozanov spirals, makes some stupid choices, and accidentally finds himself hanging out with his situationship’s parents.

    Language:
    English
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    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
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    02 Aug 2026