Slightly_Dysfunctional



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    Hayden watches Shane, almost expecting him to go, "wow, I was hacked while we were at practice, look at these weird messages!". But no such luck. Shane smiles.

    A real smile, a big one, his text from Lily smile. God, Hayden was so sure they were sending each other endless strings of heart emojis and "I miss you more" "no, I miss you more"s, not…that. Never in a million years would he have guessed that.

    Or: 5 times someone's shocked to learn that Shane's a little freaky, +1 time someone isn't

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    25 Sep 2026

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    “Wait, I could totally see that,” Connors says. “She wears reading glasses and he’s, like, obsessed with them. Sometimes on the road, he calls her from the bathroom and I hear him begging her to put them on.”

    “The glasses! I heard that too.” Shit, it must be a fetish, right? She doesn’t just happen to be old. Rozy likes that she’s old.

    Or: Cliff figures out why Ilya’s keeping his Montreal girl a secret. She’s not a girl at all...she's an elderly woman. Or maybe an elderly man?

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    22 Sep 2026

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    But, typically, bottoming seemed to be more... exposing to Ilya, Shane whining and panting with his back arched as Ilya all but bullied his way into him, carving a place into his husband with his dick. He was giving himself up to Ilya the best way he could. On his stomach or back or rolled over onto his side. It was beautiful. And it was perfect for them. 

    Which was why the current turn of events had shocked him. 

    “I want to fuck you,” Shane breathed in his ear. 

    OR

    Shane wants to fuck Ilya. Ilya has feelings about it.

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    14 Sep 2026

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    The problem is that Shane’s not just a sweet, occasionally funny, soon to be famous millionaire. He’s also fucking hot. He’s got these warm brown eyes, perfect skin, and abs. Actual, literal abs.

    But when Jessica licked them last week, he didn’t even get hard. He said he was too stressed about the scouts coming to his next game. Her entire Centaurs loving family would be disappointed in her, but she’s really starting to hate hockey.

    Or: 5 times someone wanted Shane (and later found out why they couldn't have him), +1 time Shane wanted someone back

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    05 Sep 2026

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    “You said Rozanov is a great captain,” one of the reporters says, deviating from the usual script. “What makes him one? Do you think he’s better than you?”

    If Ilya was here, Shane would immediately answer with a negative. He would also let Ilya be the one to brag about his many, many accomplishments, and maybe banter with him about who’s got more.

    But Ilya’s not here.

    And Shane is bored.

    Or.
    Shane spends a post game interview explaining that his husband is the best captain in the league and accidentally starts a hashtag.

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    03 Sep 2026