Gifts for DontOffendTheBees
List of Gifts
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nobody taught her it takes a lot of water (to wash away New Orleans) by aletterinthenameofsanity for DontOffendTheBees
Fandoms: Interview with the Vampire (TV 2022)
15 Jun 2026
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Summary
Claudia swallows. “I’m not a prostitute. Louis—he adopted me, when my parents left and the rooming-house burned down.”
Grace startles. At the admission of death or the admission of adoption, she can't be sure. If Grace knows Louis' true nature, of his relationship with Lestat, then she must have predicted that her brother would never have a child.
Then—Grace winces. “My brother’s daughter,” she says, voice quiet, voice contemplative, voice regretful, and she manages to make the title sound like more than Louis or Lestat ever has.
Her mother died. Her father ran off. Her adoptive parents let her burn.
Claudia is cursed to a half-existence forever because Louis missed the woman in front of her so much that he wanted to replace her.
But when Grace says my brother's daughter, some part of Claudia thinks "I am both of their daughter, I've got Lestat's hunger and Louis' ache, and Grace just sees the parts of me that are human."
(Grace meets Claudia next to a grave before her mother's funeral, and things go a little bit differently.)
Series
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won’t you whisper soft and slow by artemisadore for DontOffendTheBees
Fandoms: Dead Boy Detectives (TV)
11 Dec 2025
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Summary
After the Cat King surprises him with a pair of concert tickets and a magical cloak that makes him visible to humans, Charles finds that being with the Cat King is the gift that just keeps on giving.
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will somewhere darker (with a little more bite) do? by ObsessedWithFandom for DontOffendTheBees
Fandoms: Dead Boy Detectives (TV)
03 Dec 2025
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Summary
It isn’t that Charles forgot that love bites usually linger. Just that he sort of… forgot how they could deepen, didn’t he, when given the time he and Edwin don’t have. Because right now, Thomas is the poster boy. A contrast of golden skin and red bite marks.
Or: Ghost skin might not take love bites, but Cat King skin definitely does…
Series
- Part 1 of sexy prompt fics
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changing my face and calling it fashion by artemisadore for ObsessedWithFandom, DontOffendTheBees
Fandoms: Dead Boy Detectives (TV)
18 Nov 2025
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Summary
Edwin watches on fondly as the Cat King shows off his shape-shifting abilities to Charles.
Somewhere along the way, their boyfriend forgets which face they like best.
x
dbda creature week 2025, day two: shape-shifters & the undead
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easier to let yourself down (let him go) by aletterinthenameofsanity for DontOffendTheBees, thewritingotter
Fandoms: Dead Boy Detectives (TV)
24 Oct 2025
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Summary
“That's him,” Niko says.
Thomas recognizes the pair of lake gray eyes across the room as if from a dream.
The man doesn't seem to be Thomas's normal type. He's never been one to go for the prim, posh, buttoned up types. Maybe for a hookup, here or there, but never for such a long-term relationship that Thomas pulled out a nuke after the relationship ended.
Well, to be perfectly frank, Thomas has never pulled out the nuke after the relationship ended. He was always more content to live in his heartbreak, in his grief, in the jagged edges that made him who he was.
And yet, for this one man, this one beautiful boy, Thomas went for the atomic option.
And now, looking at the man across a room, across so many missing months, Thomas thinks God, I must have loved you.
(In a world where you have the option to delete all memories of someone after a break-up, Thomas meets the man of his dreams at a party.)
(aka: inspired by eternal sunshine of the spotless mind)
Series
- Part 24 of ya girl does whumptober 2025
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Slipshod: One Agency’s Attempt to Bring Niko Sasaki Back From the Dead by The_IPRE for DontOffendTheBees
Fandoms: Dead Boy Detectives (TV)
16 Aug 2025
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Summary
It is a messy process, mud spattering across all of them, the canvas they work on, the tarp that Crystal draped over her couch before they began. There is something satisfying to it even so, and as the afternoon wears on into evening, Edwin finds himself putting his frustration into the motions, exorcising the anger and heartbreak and grief that has been festering within his spectral chest in the months since Niko died before his eyes while he lay bound and useless.
He is not made useless anymore, though, and so as the pile of wedged clay in the center of the room grows, so too does Edwin’s certainty in his work. He believes in the process and the craft with all his heart, in all of the messy pieces that will give them a fraction of a better chance at success.
He has to.–––
crystal, charles, and edwin work to bring niko back the old fashioned way: by building her a new body from clay
Series
- Part 7 of ash's post-canon timeline
- Part 16 of becoming crystal palace
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when you hold me (I can feel your heart) by AmaranthusCaudatus for DontOffendTheBees
Fandoms: Dead Boy Detectives (TV)
26 Jul 2025
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Summary
"Edwin had always liked the winter. It carried a kind of melancholy he could relate to. Oh, and he loved the snow.
Bristol, though, didn't seem to get snow this year, no matter how cold it got. And it had been getting cold. The thermostat showed a miserable -3 degrees. Charles had sworn at it loudly before going to bed. Calling it all kind of things. He hated the cold."
or
One cold Sunday morning, Edwin and Charles cuddle in bed.
Series
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how 'bout a little bitty self-love instead? by ObsessedWithFandom for EveryMomentADifferentSound, DontOffendTheBees
Fandoms: Dead Boy Detectives (TV)
29 Jun 2025
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Summary
His face blinked two bright gold eyes up at him, lips curling into a sinful little smile, a faint scar nudging into the top one.
“Tom,” Charles sighed. “Cheers, mate, but I’ve no idea why you think this is helpful. At all.”
“Oh, it’s all about self-love these days, babe, haven’t you heard?” Thomas’ voice, at least, hadn’t changed. Hearing his own voice attempt an American accent – or worse, a fake British one – would’ve been a step too far. “What, you don’t want to give yourself some loving?”Or: Thomas shows Charles the power of radical self-love. Or something.
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wishful spit drips from lipstick lips (and we're gasping) by ObsessedWithFandom for DontOffendTheBees
Fandoms: Dead Boy Detectives (TV)
26 Mar 2025
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Summary
“Be honest, mate, are we having a teen girl sleepover?” Charles called after him, resting his chin on his hand. Grinned up at Thomas as he returned with an overfull makeup bag in hand. “C’mon, what’s next? Gossiping about boys? Playing dress-up?”
Thomas snorted. “I don’t know what teen girl sleepovers you went to, but those are the least fun parts of ‘em.” His head tilted in consideration, his eyes glinting dangerously. A predator sizing up prey. Charles ignored the shiver slinking its way down his spine. “Well…”Or: Charles and Thomas have some fun during what’s definitely not a teen girl sleepover.
Series
- Part 3 of pretty girl charles agenda
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come on, coward (commit, commit) by ObsessedWithFandom for dear_monday, DontOffendTheBees
Fandoms: Dead Boy Detectives (TV)
01 Feb 2025
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Summary
The Cat King grinned, slow and insufferable. “If you wanna take the forfeit on this one, kiddo, I won’t be offended.” He shrugged. “I’ll question your taste, but I won’t be offended.”
Edwin bit his lip, probably to hold back laughter, and looked away from them both.
Charles knew how this was supposed to go, knew he was supposed to huff and scowl and throw the game. But that’d been a challenge if he’d ever heard one, and Charles did not turn his back on a challenge, especially not coming from a mangy old cat too big for his boots.Or: Charles doesn’t back down from the challenge. It has unexpected consequences.
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To Watch You as You Wake by PantryJesus for DontOffendTheBees
Fandoms: Dead Boy Detectives (TV)
24 Dec 2024
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Summary
He tries to breathe through it; through the memory of frigid November lake water, bruised ribs, and rattling lungs. Laid overtop are the phantom sensations of a few lashes across his back—stone bleeding into leather—and a rough palm to his cheek. Lovely things, dreams.
November. ‘Tis the season, then.
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Charles gets woken up by a nightmare. Set in the universe of DontOffendTheBees's Something I Can Turn To.
Series
- Part 1 of Darling, in any life
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loving nothing solitary by williamvapespeare for DontOffendTheBees
Fandoms: Dead Boy Detectives (TV)
13 Aug 2024
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Summary
It happens in April.
It happens and Edwin does not sleep much, in the aftermath. He spends most of his time studying, with Charles sprawled out beside him, playing lookout. He never says so, but Edwin knows him well enough to read between the lines by now.
Inspired by DontOffendTheBees' Painland Domestic AU
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Once in Every Show (There Comes a Song Like This) by TriffidsandCuckoos for DontOffendTheBees
Fandoms: The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals - Team StarKid
05 Apr 2020
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Summary
It starts off soft and low, and ends up with a kiss.
Everybody might have survived the infection but there are still musical leftovers everywhere you look. And Paul and Emma still have the spotlight, even if they never did get the love song.
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you could bring my healing by cosmicocean for DontOffendTheBees
Fandoms: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
27 Mar 2018
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Summary
"You see, I believe in the fundamental interconnectedness of all things.”
“…the fundamental what?”
“The fundamental interconnectedness of all things. You see, I’m a holistic… something. I’m not sure.”
“Dragon?”
“Sure, yes, I suppose. Anyhow, the term ‘holistic’ refers to my convictions about the, you know, aforementioned-“
“Fundamental interconnectedness of all things.”
“Yes."
Where the whole thing takes place in a fantasy world that is not unlike but not quite mostly for legal reasons Ankh-Morpork, Dirk is generally an existential dragon, Todd is a washed up electrical lute player, everyone is kind of awkward and useless except maybe for Amanda, and there is a boatload of fantasy references, plus one (1) Star Wars one.