Destiels_angels



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    Victims of Shane Hollander’s ‘tism rizz (support group for queer hockey players)

    Ilya Rozanov was added to the chat

    OR: After coming out to none other than Troy Barrett, Ilya Rozanov, Shane Hollander's recent fiancé, is added to a group chat full of queer hockey players on the current league. The twist? Almost every single one of them had some interaction with Hollander that made them, at the very least, question things. It goes as well as expected.

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    27 Sep 2026

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    Ilya doesn’t even try to stop the litany of Russian swears from spilling out. He also doesn’t stop himself from cursing Marly’s whole family line, and then verbalizing some of his more homicidal thoughts about Scott Hunter and the kitchen sink. He lets his Russian ranting die out and takes a few deep breaths.

    Everyone has quieted to look at him.

    “Feel better?” Marly asks.

    Maybe Ilya could drown Marly in the sink along with Hunter. Maybe he could kill everyone in the suite before Shane wakes up. He’d have to kill the butler guy, too…and the front of house staff…and the wedding chapel staff…and then convince Shane to run away with him to somewhere that would neither extradite to the US nor prosecute them for being gay. Messy. Too messy.

    OR

    Ilya wakes up with a wedding ring and a WHOLE LOT of questions...but at least Marly and Scott fucking Hunter are having a good time. This is Ilya's worst nightmare which, as it turns out, features a night of blackout drinking, misguided but supportive friends, and some VERY stupid decisions.

    Note: Chapter 4 (6775 words) is the social media epilogue, and can be disregarded if that's not your thing! :)

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    27 Sep 2026

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    "You and Svetlana. When you - I mean, you don't have to tell me any details, obviously. But do you use condoms, with her?"

    This must be a translation issue, Ilya thought wildly. He'd missed something crucial.

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    26 Sep 2026

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    “This hot tub has not been well maintained,” Rozanov complained as they stood on the deck, staring at the built-in hot tub, big enough to fit 8 people. 

    “So, you can replace it,” Shane replied patiently.

    “I will be too busy to replace the hot tub. Then I will have a long day, and I will decide to have a soak in my rancid hot tub, and then I will catch diphtheria and die.” Rozanov looked at Shane, accusatory. “You want me to die?”

    Shane looked down. The hot tub looked no more or less rancid than any other hot tub. “I don’t think you can get diphtheria from a dirty hot tub.”

    “You are doctor now?” Rozanov asked, and Shane stayed silent. 

    Shane Hollander is a realtor who works with the Ottawa Centaurs to find properties for new players.

    Ilya Rozanov needs a home.

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    26 Sep 2026

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    Ilya yelps when Shane pinches him. "Okay, okay," he concedes. "I will listen to my very smart, beautiful husband next time."

    Shane smoothes his hand over where he just pinched as an apology, before going back to kneading Ilya's muscles. They don't speak as Shane works, but he can feel Ilya's breathing hitch from time to time if a spot hurts enough.

    "Fuck," he groans as Shane works one spot on his left side, just above the waistband of his boxers. "That— fuck, Shane."

    - or, Shane gives Ilya a back massage, and it goes further than either of them expects

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    26 Sep 2026