Archive of Our Own

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Castiel could tell he was laughing out loud.  He rarely did as he tried to avoid ever making vocal sounds of any kind—just because he liked being difficult for hearing people—but this was too funny.  He was doubling over and clutching his stomach, practically crying with his laughter.  Dean had to keep pausing because Castiel couldn’t see him sign when he was bent over and his eyes were closed.  He finally managed to sit back up and look at Dean, who was smiling at him, but trying to look annoyed.

“So there I am: trapped in this girl’s bathroom with no cleaning products, no toilet paper, bad shrimp dripping out of my ass and sprayed all over the toilet seat…”

Castiel burst into another fit of sniggers.  He continued to giggle, but this time kept his eyes up.

“So, I wiped myself off on her shower curtain…”

-You didn’t!-

“Pulled up my pants and just ran from the bathroom to her door.  I think she was in the kitchen and didn’t even see me, so I just made a break for my car.  Fortunately I keep a towel in the glove box, so I could sit down to drive home.  And I barely made it to my bathroom before the bad shrimp was coming up the other end.”

Castiel winced.  –I’m so sorry.  Food poisoning is the worst.-

“So not an accurate way to describe how horrible it is.  God, I felt like shit all night long.  Both ends, man.”

Castiel laughed and covered his eyes with a hand.  When he finally looked at Dean again, he was finished making a monster sandwich out of basically everything in Castiel’s refrigerator.

-I see the episode hasn’t affected your appetite.-

“It wasn’t a sandwich that did it to me.”  He took a giant bite of his sandwich and then wiped the mayonnaise and mustard from his face with a napkin.

-Did you ever hear from the girl?-

“Thank God, no.  And I’m really glad it was some random Internet chick and not one of Charlie’s friends.  I’d never be able to LARP again.”

-Would that be a bad thing?- Castiel teased.

“Hey.  I don’t make fun of your stupid hobbies.”

He did, but Castiel was going to let it slide.  –Adventures in dating, huh?-

Dean shrugged.  “I don’t remember it being this difficult in high school.”

-Well, it’s only been two dates, right?  Third time’s the charm.-

“Oh.  I didn’t tell you about Ron, did I?  Well, first off…did not look like his picture.  But don’t judge a book or whatever.  But this guy…he thinks the government is using robots with laser eyes to cover up alien invasions.”

-Was he just fucking with you?-

“Hand to God,” Dean said, raising the hand with the sandwich in the air.  “He was dead serious.”

Castiel tried to repress his laughter, but he could picture Dean’s face in his mind: kinda scared, kinda freaked out, kinda curious, and trying to not let any of that show.  He lost the battle with his mirth and rocked forward in a belly laugh again.  Dean chewed on his sandwich and watched Castiel laugh with an irked expression.  When Castiel finally settled down Dean signed, -I’m glad my dating exploits are so amusing for you.-

-And I appreciate you amusing me with your dating exploits.-

Dean made a face at him.  He checked his watch and then jumped off the stool he’d been sitting on.

“Crap.  I gotta get back to the shop.  One downside to the auto shop: gotta work weekends.  Anyway, you never answered.  You wanna go to the game next Friday?  Uncle Bobby has some spare tickets.”

-You’re swallowing syllables again.-

“I’m signing ain’t I?”

-What sport again?-

“Hockey.”

-I know nothing about hockey.-

“Neither do I.  It’s about drinking beer and yelling insults at the away team.  Also, when someone scores, a light goes off.  So, you’ll know what’s going on.”

Castiel bobbed his head.  –Okay.  I’ll go.-

“Cool.  I’ll pick you up at 5:30.  Oh, can you put all this stuff up?” Dean indicated the mess he’d left on the counter.  “Thanks.  Bye!”

Dean hurried out of the room, shoving the rest of his sandwich into his mouth, and Castiel looked at the carnage of deli meat, cheese, a partially hacked head of lettuce, and every condiment he owned left behind.  Dean was lucky he was cute.

 ~~~

“Hey, Sammy, how’s life on the west coast?”

“A balmy seventy degrees and no humidity.”

“Shut up, you little shit.”

“You asked!”

Dean shook his head at his little brother through the web cam.  “It’s still over eighty degrees here.  It’s mid-September.  It’s total bullshit.”

“Well, you could always move.”

Dean scoffed at the very idea and buttoned his dark blue shirt over black jeans.

“Are you going out?” Sam asked.

“Yep.  Got a hot date.”

“Didn’t know Cas had been upgraded to ‘hot date.’”

“I’m not going out with Cas.”

“That’s a first,” Sam said wryly.

“I go out without Cas all the time.”

Sam gave him a look.

“Okay, sometimes.”

“Is it that Aaron guy again?  You friended him on Facebook.”

“You stalking me?  You need a hobby, Sam.”

“Shut up.  Is it Aaron?”

“No, not Aaron.”

“So, why are you friends with him?”

Dean sat down on his bed to put on his socks and shoes.  “Because.  When we went on our date it was okay, but when we got to his place we didn’t really know what to do or say.  It was just kind of awkward between us for some reason.  So, he asked if I wanted to smoke a joint, and I said sure.  He had some good stuff.  We spent the whole night blazed on his couch.  Then we decided we weren’t really dating compatible.”

“But you still friended him.”

“You don’t break ties with a good weed hookup, Sammy.”

“But you don’t even smoke anymore!”

Dean shrugged.  “I might if I keep having dates like the one I had with Lisa.  Gorgeous, smart, funny, likes rock and roll and big muscle cars.”

“And?”

“And then had to leave the date early because her babysitter called about her sick kid.”

“Are you really dumping a girl because she has a kid?”

“He’s eight, Sam.  I’m twenty-four.  What am I gonna do with an eight year old?”

Sam shrugged.  “I dunno.  Just seems, like, a sexist thing or something.”

“Believe me, if I was dating a guy and found out he had an eight year old son, I’d drop him too.  I’m not looking to be a parent.  I’m not sure I’m even looking to be a husband at this point in my life, you know?”

“Yeah, I get it.  I guess.  Jess said the same thing.”

“About what?”

“About us being too serious right now.”

“She’s right.  You’re sophomores.  You’ve got all the time in the world.  Time after you have a job and can support yourself.”

Sam shrugged.  Dean’s smile faltered.

“Aw, crap. Did she dump you?”

“No.  No.  We’re just…on a break.”

“So.  She dumped you.”

“Yep.”

“Hmm.  Call Claire.”

Dean stood up and looked for his wallet.

“Call Claire?  Claire Novak?  Why?”

“The quickest way to get over someone is to get under someone else,” Dean sing-songed.

“Is that why you’ve been blitz dating?  To get over Cas?”

“I was never under Cas.  Now, crack a book you slacker.  I’ll talk to you on Sunday.  Uncle Bobby’ll be over.”

“Okay.  Have fun!”

“Thanks,” Dean replied, rolling his eyes.

Dean logged off of Skype and grabbed his car keys.  He whistled on his way out the door and headed for the Impala.  He wasn’t whistling out of happiness; he was anxious.  He’d tried out a new dating site: deafsingles.com.  It wasn’t just for deaf people to find each other, but it was also for deaf people who wanted to date hearing people who wouldn’t be turned off by the idea of dating someone deaf.

Dean knew it was kind of sick, but he figured he might as well try to get Cas out of his system by dating someone who was like Cas.  The guy was cute with blue eyes, totally deaf since birth, and he even had a weird ass name.  They’d agreed to meet at Viviano’s, a popular Italian restaurant in the town between their hometowns along the highway.

Dean was ten minutes early, but the hostess told him his date had already arrived.  Then she leaned in and whispered out of the side of her mouth, “He’s been here for half an hour.”  Dean took that in, but didn’t think it was too weird.  Maybe the guy was just worried about being late; Dean could understand that.  However, when he rounded the corner and saw his date sitting at a table for two, he found that the guy hadn’t ordered an appetizer or a drink.  Not even water.  He just sat there with his hands folded on top of the table, staring straight ahead.

He approached the table from the side, but the man noticed him and quickly stood up to face him when he arrived.  Dean stopped awkwardly in front of him.

-Hello,- Dean signed.  –Are you G-A-D-R-E-E-L?-

The man gave him an awkward little half bow, and then indicated the chair on the opposite side of the table.  Dean sat down and rubbed his hands on his thighs to dispel his nerves.  His date sat down and stared at him.  Cas stared a lot too, but it was never creepy like this.

“Uh…”  -How are you?- Dean started.

-Well.  And yourself?-

-Good.-

Dean bobbed his head along with his statement.  Yes.  Everything was good.  He wondered if deaf people experienced awkward silences the same way hearing people did.  Thankfully the waiter appeared with a second menu and took their drink order.  Dean buried his nose in the menu, unsure of how to interact with Gadreel.  He wasn’t sure if it was the man’s awkwardness, or his own due to his slight guilt about trying to find a fill in for Cas.

The waiter returned and Dean took a large gulp of his beer.  He needed that.  They both ordered steaks that only came with a perfunctory bit of fettuccini on the side.  Dean smiled.  Maybe they had more in common than he thought.  He waved a hand between them.

-Ordering steak at a pasta place.  Do you also order beer at a wine bar?-  Dean tried out a small laugh.

Gadreel stared blankly at him for a moment, and then signed, -I like wine.-

“Ah.”  Dean glanced around the restaurant, searching for something to inspire conversation.  He gave up.

-So…do you mind me asking about your name?  It’s very unique.  I bet you get asked about it all the time.-

-Not all the time.-

Dean waited, but Gadreel didn’t elaborate.  They stared some more.  Dean let some air out of the side of his mouth, making a popping sound.  He cast his eyes about for inspiration again.  He gave up and took a sip of his beer.

-What’s your stance on abortion?-

Dean choked on his beer.  He coughed harshly and picked up his napkin to cover his mouth, the silverware rolled up in it clattering to the table loudly.  When his coughing fit ended he looked up at Gadreel to see if he had been pulling his leg.  He looked exactly the same.

-Are you okay?- Gadreel asked.

Dean nodded.

-I apologize for jumping right into a controversial topic.  I’ve been told that controversial subjects are good ice breakers.  Perhaps that was a bit too provocative.-

Dean nodded.  –Maybe a bit.-

Gadreel nodded.  –What are your thoughts on assisted suicide?-

~~~

-Castiel, the MACE Gala is in less than three months.  We have to pick a theme!- Hannah demanded.

Castiel looked down the large meeting room table at his assembled team.  He threw his hands up in the air.  –That’s why I hired all of you!  Just pick something.  I really, really don’t care.  Just no more carnivals.-

-But we can’t agree on anything,- Inias said.  –That’s the problem.-

-Gabriel?- Castiel pleaded.

-Hey, I gave them a theme.  They rejected it.-

-What was it?-

“You don’t wanna know,” Meg said, and she was the one person from whom Castiel would take that statement at face value.

-Alright.  What are the choices?-

As Hannah signed each choice, Ambriel wrote them down on the large paper pad propped on the easel at the end of the table nearest Castiel.

-Winter Wonderland.  Mardi Gras.  Winter Garden.  Silver and Gold.-

“See?” Gabriel spoke and signed.  –“They’re all terrible.”

-Everyone loves Winter Wonderlands!- Anna signed exasperatedly.

“I like Mardi Gras,” Meg said.

-But Mardi Gras is in February,- Inias pointed out.

-Silver and Gold,- Hannah said.  –It doesn’t box us in with props.  It’s just colors, but it’s classy.-

“It’s boring,” Gabriel declared as he fell back into his chair.

Everyone burst out signing, many talking as well.  Castiel just watched them go at it.  He hated this stupid gala, but if they wanted to do their mission trip to Haiti next year, they needed it for the money.

Suddenly the hearing people all turned their heads.  That made the deafies turn to see what they were looking at.  Dean stood in the doorway holding a brown paper bag and making an embarrassed “whoops” face.

“Uh, hey.  Muriel said Cas was in here.  I have his lunch.  She, uh, didn’t say you were having a meeting.  Sorry about that.”

-Dean, wait,- Castiel stopped him from leaving.  –Of these four choices,- he indicated the paper next to him, -which do you like best?-

“What for?”

“The MACE Gala,” Hannah explained.

Dean looked at the choices.  “I like Mardi Gras.”

“Good boy,” Meg said and Dean gave her an amused look.

-But Mardi Gras is in February,- Inias said again.  -The ball is in December.  It would be weird.-

“So just make it a masquerade ball,” Dean said.

Everyone looked at each other around the table.

-We’ve never done a masquerade ball before,- Anna said.

-I like it,- Inias said.  –It’s a good compromise.-

Gabriel nodded.  “It could be a lot of fun.”

Everyone seemed to be in a tentative agreement.

-Well, what if everyone had to wear a gold or silver mask?- Hannah asked.

Hands got thrown in the air and debate broke out again.  Castiel rubbed a temple with his fingers, and then he saw Dean trying to sneak out the door.

-Wait for me in my office.  I won’t be long.-

-Okay.-

After another five minutes Castiel settled the debate by declaring that the 2017 MACE Gala would be a Gold and Silver Masquerade Ball.  Everyone nodded and said good decision making skills like that was why Castiel was the boss.  He rolled his eyes at their sarcasm, but the decision was made and he was starving.  Dean was waiting for him in his office, like he said he would be.  He was eating the pickle that had come with his sandwich, but that was fine.  Castiel didn’t really like pickles.  He shut the door to his office and dragged a chair behind his desk to see what Dean was doing on his laptop (while sitting in Castiel’s good chair).

Castiel raised his eyes in mild surprise as he watched Dean scanning through dating profiles on arrowtotheheart.com.  He pulled out his sandwich and started eating, more than happy to watch Dean make faces at every single “stuck on you” match he received.

“What did you guys decide on?” Dean asked.

-Gold and Silver Masquerade Ball.-

Dean nodded.  “Sounds neat.  You want me to find you a date too?”

-Are you kidding?  I’ve heard all the stories of your dates over the past two months.  I’ll choose my own, thank you.-

Dean didn’t respond right away with his face or his hands, but Castiel had been told by Hannah that he sometimes grunted replies.

"I guess you already have a date anyway, huh?"

Castiel tilted his head.  -What do you mean?-

"That guy you went to the Virgin Islands with.  Bartholomew."

-Do you mean Balthazar?-

Dean shrugged.

-It was not a romantic getaway, Dean.  We're just friends.  We take a trip together every year.  Mainly so he can hookup with people he's guaranteed never to see again.-

"I don't know.  I've never gone to a romantic tropical location with 'just a friend' before."

-Are you jealous?-

"No."

Castiel was a little confused by the scowl on Dean's face and his quickly darkening mood.  He decided to try to get him to lighten up.

-Maybe I should pick a date for you since you have no luck,- Castiel signed jokingly.

Dean looked at him for a prolonged moment, and then turned the laptop to face Castiel.  “Please do.  I really do suck at it.”

-What happened with Carmen?-

“Her husband joined us on the date.”

Castiel looked at him, startled.  –What?  Are you okay?  Did he try to hurt you?-

“No.  He was on the date with us.  They were looking for a third.”

-Oh.-  Castiel chuckled.  –Interesting.  Did you accept the offer?-

“No.  Of course not.  Although, it wasn’t completely unappealing.  They were both hot.”

Castiel chewed on his bottom lip to hold back his smile and to temper his imagination.  –Have you ever been in a threesome?-

“No.”  Dean looked like he was blushing.  “Have you?”

Castiel shook his head.  –I like threesome porn though.-

“With two guys and a girl?”

Cas laughed.  –Three guys.-

“Of course.  Well, find me a date.  I need one that will at least just be…uneventful.”

Castiel grinned and began searching through the profiles listed in Dean’s account.  He couldn’t believe some of the fake bullshit people spewed out on these sites.  At least deafsinglesmeetup.com was mostly drop down menu answers.  There were so few of them around a given area, one really couldn’t be that picky.

-Oh, here.  How about this one?  He’s a veterinarian who likes classic rock.  He’s also bisexual, so no weird hang ups about that.  He’s twenty-six, cute, looks like he works out.-

Dean turned the computer back and looked at the guy’s profile.  He pulled a face and looked at Castiel.

-Did you pick him just because his name is A-S-A F-O-X?-

Castiel shrugged.  –How can you not at least go on a date with a man named A-S-A just to say that you have?-

Dean rolled his eyes.  “Fine.”  He moved the mouse and clicked on the “Shoot me!” button.  An animated arrow with a heart for a tip flitted across the screen and hit Asa Fox’s name with a burst of pink hearts.  “There.  Now it’s up to Mr. Fox to determine if he at least wants to go on a date with a man named Dean just to say that he has.”

Castiel smiled.  -Be sure to bring a collar with you.-

Dean narrowed his eyes.  “You’re not even funny.”

-I’m a little funny.-

“No.  Not really.”

Castiel smiled and opened the bottle of flavored water Dean had brought him.  He took a sip and then signed, -But you love me anyway.-

Dean’s lips tightened into a smile.  “Yeah.  I guess I do.”

 ~~~

Dean frowned at the large archway made out of plywood and painted to resemble a clown’s face.  People had to walk through its mouth to get inside the fair.  He had no idea why he and Asa had decided to meet here for their date.  They had wanted a public place between their homes, but Asa lived in a town on the other side of the city from Dean.  Halfway around the beltway on one side was the town with the highest crime rate in the state, and on the other side were the fairgrounds, usually empty but just so happened to be hosting a county fair during the month of October.  It had seemed like a safe compromise at the time, but now Dean was worried about his baby sitting in the muddy parking lot surrounded by rednecks.

“Dean?”

Dean turned, saw no one, and then turned the other way.  He eyes alighted on a face with a strong jaw and blue eyes.  Asa’s face was mostly hard angles, but put together in an attractive combination.  He wore a T-shirt and jeans, and he had a body that made a simple outfit like that look like he’d just stepped out of a magazine.  Dean raised his eyes back to the man’s face as he realized he hadn’t returned his greeting.  He noticed that Asa was checking him out as well.  He was glad he’d opted for his date jeans rather than his comfy jeans—they made his ass look great.

“Hi.”  Dean offered a hand.  “I’m Dean.”

“Asa.  Nice to meet you.”

“Oh, good.  I’m glad you pronounced your name first.”

Asa laughed.  He had a deep laugh even though his voice was fairly average in tone.

“Yes, it’s Ace-suh.  Not Ah-suh.  Definitely not Ass-a.”

“It mean anything special?”

“My mom thought there were too many Aiden’s?”

Dean chuckled.  He was glad the man had a sense of humor.  “So.  County fair.”

Asa smiled tightly and nodded, glancing uneasily at the clown mouth.  “Yep.”  He looked at Dean.  “What were we thinking?”

“That we didn’t want to get murdered?”

Asa snapped his fingers and pointed at Dean.  “That’s it.”

They grinned at each other.  After a beat or two of silence, Dean clapped his hands.

“Alright.  Let’s do this, I guess.”

They turned and walked through the clown’s mouth and were promptly nearly run over by a gaggle of tweens.  Asa shook his head.

“It probably would have only been a mugging,” he mumbled.

Dean laughed and clapped him on the back.  “Come on.  Corndogs make everything better.”

“Going straight for the phallic foods.  I like you, Dean.”

Dean smiled and shook his head.  Funny guy.

Unfortunately, there were no corndogs.  There were no funnel cakes.  There were greasy chicken tenders (with no ranch dipping sauce) and a sample of the prize winning hot pepper jelly.  Dean made a face and dumped his half-eaten tenders in the trash.

“What the hell kind of fair is this?” he griped.

“A shitty one,” Asa said.  “I can’t even see a place to sit down.”

“There’s the rides.”

“Are you kidding?  They look ready to shimmy apart at the seams.”

Ordinarily Dean would scoff at people who were scared of pop-up carnival rides, but looking at the juddering machines around them, Dean thought he had a point.

“I’d offer to win you a bear, but I forgot my platinum card at home,” Dean said.

Asa nodded, taking in the man in the striped shirt hawking his rigged game for ten dollars a pop.

“It’s okay.  Those bears look more like mutated boogers than anything else.”

“So.  There’s no food, no rides, no games that won’t bankrupt us in three tries.  I think two kids have tried to pickpocket me.  We sure do know where the fun is.”

“Well, I guess we could always just walk and talk.”

Dean made a face, and then turned apologetically to Asa.  “Sorry.  Not the talking or the company.  I just…I hate walking.”

Asa gave him an odd look.  “Okay.”

They stood, silent, looking at anything but each other.  Dean inhaled deeply, and let it out as slowly as possible.  He didn’t want Asa to think he was sighing in annoyance or boredom.  Although this date was turning out like all his others.

“There are paddle boats at the lake,” Asa said suddenly.  “We can sit there.”

“And paddle?” Dean asked skeptically.  He realized he was coming off like a whiny bitch.  He really didn’t mean to.

“I’ll do all the work,” Asa said good-naturedly and nudged Dean with his shoulder.

Dean thought for a moment and then shrugged and agreed to go.  He balked at the twenty dollar price, but Asa paid it before he could get more than three words into his rant at the operator.  He fussed with Asa over the money and they missed most of what the operator told them as they boarded the paddle boat shaped like a swan.  They started to paddle out toward the middle of the lake, and Dean did help, but he let Asa do most of the work.

“So, Dean, what do you do?  Your job on your profile is just listed as ‘cars.’  Do you sell them?  Fix them?  Race them?”

“Love them,” Dean replied.  “And fix them for money.”

“Ah.  You’re like me.  I love animals.  So, I fix them when I can.”

Dean smiled at the comparison.  “Yeah.  Although it’s a little less sad when I lose one of my patients.”

“Depends on the car.”

Dean glanced over at him.  “I suppose that’s true.  I’d mourn my baby if I ever lost her.”

“I’m going to take that in the context of this conversation, but just to clarify, your baby is a car, right?”

Dean chuckled.  “Yeah, she’s a car.  A ’67 hardtop four door Impala.  Still has the original interior and chrome work.  I replaced the engine a few years back.  Three hundred fifty horsepower.  That’s net.”

Asa stared at him, and then smiled.  “I’m sorry.  I wish I understood what any of that meant, but…I’m going to assume by your slightly lascivious smile that she’s got real power in her.”

Dean narrowed his eyes.  “I did not smile las-lisiv-lasshiv—like that.”

“Little bit.  Of course, if I tell you my babies are purebred silver Egyptian Maus with a classic pattern, I don’t suppose that means anything to you either.”

“Nope.  Not really.  Are they dogs?”

“Cats.”

“Ah.”

Asa tilted his head.  “Don’t like cats?”

Dean shrugged.  “I don’t really feel one way or the other about them, but I am allergic to them.”

“Ah.  Highly?”

“Enough.”

“Hmm.”

They continued to paddle quietly.  After a few minutes they noticed they weren’t near any of the other paddlers.

“Maybe we should head back?” Asa suggested.

“How do we turn?”

“Uh, I think we turn this thing here.”

The boat started to turn slowly to the left.

“Wait,” Dean said, putting his hand on top of Asa’s.  “Aren’t we supposed to stay to the right of the markers?”

“To the left I think.”

“I thought it was right.”

“Iiiiiiii…really think it was left.”

They looked at each other, not sure who was right or if neither of them were.  Regardless, it didn’t occur to either to stop paddling and the boat plowed straight into the red and white striped pole sticking out of the water.  It hit slightly to the left, which caused the boat to raise up just enough that Asa slipped toward Dean’s side.  Their combined weight was more than enough to flip the boat.

Dean surfaced sputtering some of the nastiest water he’d ever had in his mouth.  He looked around and didn’t see Asa.  He could hear distant laughing, but he couldn’t be annoyed by it.  He didn’t see his date and he had no idea if the guy could even swim.

“Asa?!”

“Here,” he called out from the other side of the boat.

Dean pushed through the water, his toes almost touching the rocky bottom, until he was on the other side of the swan’s ass.  Asa was shaking the water out of his ears.

“You okay?” Dean asked.

“Me?  Oh, I’m awesome.  How are you?”

“A little wet.  Nothing a towel won’t fix.  I just hope my—my phone!”

Dean reached into his back pocket and pulled out his phone.  He held it out of the water and tried pushing several buttons.  It wouldn’t even light up—it was completely shorted out.  Dean groaned and thunked his head against the boat.

“Your phone shorted?” Asa asked, looking at his perfectly working phone.  “I thought they were all waterproof, or at least water resistant now.”

“They probably are now.  This phone is more of ‘then.’”

“Ah.  I’m sorry.  I can pay for it.  I did make us crash.”

“Come on, man, let’s be honest: it was a combined effort.”

Just then they became aware of loud shouting from the dock.  The operator was waving his arms and stamping his foot.  He was shouting quite loudly too, but he was too far away for them to make out anything clearly.

“I don’t know if I want to go back over there,” Asa murmured.

“We could always make a run for it.”

They turned and looked at the opposite shore of the lake—there was a thick, dark forest and no sign of civilization.  They both sighed.

“Guess we’re getting yelled at,” Dean said.

“Wouldn’t be a properly terrible date without some shouting.”

Dean laughed and helped Asa tow the boat across the lake to the dock.  The operator’s shouts became clearer, but since Dean ignored him he didn’t know what he was specifically angry about.  Getting out of the water was unpleasant as his clothes now felt five times heavier and his jeans ten times tighter.  Although the way the water made Asa’s jeans cling to his ass was not the worst sight Dean had ever seen.

“We’re very sorry,” Asa said, finally managing to get a word in while the operator drew breath.  “I don’t see a hole in the boat, but I can pay for any damages…”

Asa’s face lost a bit of color as he patted his back jeans pockets, and then his front jeans.  He did that several times and stuck his hands in his all of his pockets at least three times.

“Oh no…” Asa said weakly.  “My wallet…”  He looked out into the lake.

Dean reached back and felt for his own wallet.  He was relieved when he felt the familiar lump.  He pulled it out and a blob of lake scum splatted on the clean wooden dock.

“Get off my dock!” the operator yelled.  “I understand teenagers being a pain, but you are two grown men!  Shoo!  Shoo!”

They hurried down the ramp, and Dean followed Asa around the side to the edge of the lake.  He was looking out into the water like his wallet would suddenly surface and start waving for help.

“I’ve never been shoo-ed before,” Dean commented.

“Well, I’m glad we could experience it together then,” Asa said forlornly.

Dean put his hand on Asa’s shoulder, and water squelched out of his shirt.  He picked up his hand and shook it off.

“Well.  Credit cards can be replaced.  The DMV lets you order replacements online.  Nothing major lost, right?”

“Just a condom from 2007.  And two hundred dollars in cash.”

Dean winced.  “You always carry that much cash?”

“No.  I thought I’d need it for the fair stuff.”

Asa ran his hands back through his hair.  “God, this blows.”

“Sorry, man.”

“It’s okay.  I guess.  But maybe we should call it a night.”

“Yeah.  Probably.”

They left in silence, not commenting on anything they passed—even the fact that the way out of the fair was through the clown’s butthole.  Dean walked Asa to his a car—a truck actually, a big Silverado (hey, at least he was a Chevy man)—and Asa fist pumped in victory when he found that his key fob still worked.  He turned to say to goodbye to Dean, and then he groaned and leaned against his truck.  He covered his face with his hands.

“What is it?” Dean asked.

“My driver’s license is in the lake.  I can’t drive home.”

“Well, you can…”

“No, I saw them setting up a DIU checkpoint on the way up here.  I’ll definitely get stopped.  I’d have to take all those back roads to avoid it, but then I’d be driving for well over an hour with no license.  I don’t want to leave my truck here overnight…or for days before I can get a replacement license or can scrape together two people to drive me out here.”

Dean really wanted the date to be over too—at barely six o’clock in the evening—but he took pity on the guy.

“Well, lucky for you, you just had a terrible date with a mechanic.  I can get someone from my garage to come out here with a tow truck and take it home for you.”

Asa brightened and Dean thought quite randomly that he liked this guy’s smile.

“You’d do that?”

Dean tried to play it off with a casual shrug of one shoulder.  “Least I can do.  Uh…I just need to borrow your phone.”

“Of course.”

Asa unlocked his phone and handed it to Dean.  He instinctively hit the contacts icon, and then realized that Asa wouldn’t have his contacts in his phone.  And Dean certainly didn’t have any numbers memorized.  The shop was closed by now and their afterhours call tree number wasn’t listed on their web site.  Bobby was definitely unlisted.  He could vaguely guess at Sam’s cell phone number—he thought it was similar to his…

After seven tries during which Asa began to look more and more despondent, Dean finally hit on the right combination and got a hold of Sam.

“Hello?”

Dean almost laughed at his little brother’s suspicious answer.

“Hey, Sammy, it’s me.”

“Oh.  Hey, Dean.  What number is this?  New phone?”

“No, though I’ll probably need a new one soon.  I’m calling from a friend’s phone.  My phone is dead and—”

“What sort of friend?  I have all your friends’ numbers.”

“I don’t know why you do.  I swear, you’re trying to Single White Female me, aren’t you?”

“Is it a date?”

“Yes, it’s a date.”

“How’s it going?”

“Well, I’m calling from his phone because my mine is broken and I need you to give me Uncle Bobby’s number so that we can get a tow.  How do you think it’s going?”

Sam sucked in a sympathetic breath through his teeth.  “That bad, huh?”

“Well, I’ve had worse.”

Asa gave him an amused look.

“Okay.  I’ll text Uncle Bobby’s number to this number.  Let me know when you get home okay.”

“Yeah, yeah.  Go study or something.”

“It’s Saturday night.”

“You’re at an Ivy League school, Sam.  You’re not supposed to have a life.”

“Noted.  I’ll be sure to start that next weekend.”

Dean tsked.  “College has changed you, Sam.  This is why we don’t need no extra schoolin.’”

Sam laughed and told him to shut up.  Then he said goodbye and hung up.  A few seconds later, Asa’s phone chimed with a text message.  Dean called Bobby, who felt obligated to grumble at him for ten minutes before telling him he was already on his way.  He got hung up on, again, but at least there was light at the end of this Tunnel of Love disaster ride.  Dean handed the phone back to Asa and wondered if they were going to have an awkward forty-five minutes of silence to sit through.

“So, Sam…I take it he’s a cousin type relation?”

“Brother.”

“He’s attending an Ivy League school?”

“Yeah, Stanford.  Kid’s got it in his head that he wants to be a lawyer.”

“That’s very impressive.”

Dean awarded Asa some brownie points for understanding that Sam was impressive.  He found it easier to talk about Sam than himself, so he launched into an explanation of just how great his kid brother was.  After about ten minutes, Asa lowered the gate on his truck and they sat on it together.  Eventually Asa did bring up that he was an only child, raised by rich parents who spoiled him.  After his parents had been killed by a drunk driver, he had given up his party all night, sleep all day life and decided to make a useful contribution to society.  Most of his inheritance had gone to charities aimed at helping the children of alcoholic parents or those orphaned by drunk drivers.  He opted to go to veterinarian school because animals were easier to deal with than people.

“Well, that and I got rejected or waitlisted by every med school I applied to,” Asa chuckled.

Dean smiled and leaned back on his hands.  “Vet school is impressive too.”

“Hmm.  Just figured that full disclosure is best on a date such as this.”

“Such as this?”

Asa turned and leaned against the side of the truck, pulling one leg up and wrapping his hands around the knee.  His eyes roamed over Dean for a moment before settling on his face.

“A missed opportunity.”

Dean cocked his head.  “Why’s that?”

“Because.  Your uncle will get here.  We’ll make awkward small talk while he hooks up my truck.  We’ll agree we should try again.  But your phone is broken and when you get a new one, you might get a new phone number.  I’ll say I’ll understand.  Then we’ll go our separate ways and we’ll think about it.  I mean, we’re hot.  We’d be hot together.”

That surprised a laugh out of Dean.

“But, we’ll keep thinking back to the fact that the highlight of this date was walking through a clown’s butthole.”

Dean grinned.

“And so…we’ll just think, ‘It’s probably for the best,’ and never see each other again.”

Dean’s smile faded.  “Yeah…” Dean agreed softly.

Asa’s phone rang and he answered it.  Then he held it out toward Dean.  “I think it’s your uncle.”

Dean took the phone and gave Bobby directions to where Asa’s truck was parked.  They backed the truck out into the aisle to make it easier to hitch, and then Bobby looked at Dean.

“You comin’ with or dija drive yourself?”

“I drove.”

“Alright then.  Mr. Fox, let’s get you home.”

“Okay.  Thank you, again, so much for this.  I can pay for the tow when—”

Bobby waved him off.  “Friend of Dean’s, first tow’s free.”

Asa smiled, and despite the dried lake scum flaking off his skin and the still uncomfortably damp jeans clinging to his body and the fact that his identity and money had just been swallowed into an abyss, his smile was real and genuine.  Dean reached out and put a hand on Bobby’s shoulder.

“What’s up, boy?”

Dean dug his keys out of his pocket and handed them to Bobby.  “Drive the Impala to the shop.  I’ll take Asa home and then drive the truck back.”

Bobby was never one to look a gift horse in the mouth.  He swapped keys, patted Dean on the shoulder, and then told them to have a good night.  Dean called after him if he knew where he was going, and he said he saw the Impala on the way in.  Dean figured it was Bobby’s problem if he wandered around the county fair parking lot for twenty minutes and he and Asa got into the cab of the tow truck.

Dean hoped he didn’t make a mistake in offering to take Asa home as it might just prolong the awkwardness, but Asa quickly launched into a story about the worst date he’d ever been on.  It involved a girl’s parents and two sets of aunts and uncles chaperoning them.  The worst part of the worst date was that he had to sit through a grilling by her relations of why he wouldn’t set a firm date for their second outing.  Finally he had given in and agreed to a second date—a family dinner at their house.  He’d never shown up, of course.  He’d even changed his email and cell phone number.

Dean laughed at the notion of changing all his contact information to avoid a girl.

“I mean, I felt a little bad,” Asa said, “but we weren’t a good match.”

“Why not?” Dean asked, knowing exactly why they weren’t a “good match” based on the fact that the story took place during Asa’s self-proclaimed “spoiled rich asshole” days.

“Well, we were just different…”

Dean glanced at him for a moment before returning his eyes to the road.

“Fine.  I didn’t go on second dates with anyone who didn’t put out on the first.”

Dean chuckled.  “And now?”

“Now?  I’m not even a three date rule guy.”

Dean nodded.  “So, it takes four dates to get into your pants.”

Asa laughed.  “Yeah.  Four.  Or five.  Sometimes two.”

They grinned at each other.

“How about you, Dean?  How does one…” He flicked his eyes down Dean’s body and back up.  “Get into your pants?”

“The old fashioned way.”

“Candy and flowers?”

“Liquor.”

Asa snorted in amusement.  “Gin, vodka?  Tequila?” he asked with a judgmentally raised eyebrow.

“Whiskey.”

“Of course!  I should have known.  Kentucky, Ireland, or Scotland?”

“Geography don’t mean anything to me; I can drink anywhere.”

“Here’s to that.  Man, I dated this one guy…he talked about different kinds of whiskey the way pretentious snobs talk about wines.  Smoky this, oaky barrels, blah blah.  I mean, I can tell the difference between a smooth whiskey and rotgut, but does it really matter?”

Dean chuckled.  “Not in the slightest.  I hope he didn’t make it to the fourth date.”

“Ah…he was the two date special.”

“Was he really special?”

Asa leaned his head back and let it loll toward Dean on the back of the seat’s headrest.  “I shit you not…nine inch cock.”

Dean “oo’ed” in concerned appreciation.  “Is something that big really all that much fun?”

“It can be.  But I did learn the hard way that good sex can’t make up for a bad relationship, you know?  Every time you fight, you have sex and it feels so good that you think you’re happy again.  But, nothing was resolved and you still had the same problems.  God, that relationship dragged on for a year and a half.  And the friend that set us up was mad at me when I ended it…that’s why I switched to online dating.  Total strangers are way safer.”

Dean laughed.  “Not necessarily.  I’m pretty sure I went on a date with a serial killer.”

“What?” Asa asked with a disbelieving laugh.

Dean proceeded to detail his bizarre date with Gadreel, leaving out the part about him being deaf and a stand in for the guy he was actually crushing on.  They were still laughing over shared dating horror stories when they arrived at Asa’s home.  It was a small, ranch style house in a neighborhood built in the 60’s, but Asa told him that he’d been slowly gutting the place one room at a time and upgrading everything.  He stopped just short of inviting Dean in to see it, though Dean got the impression he wanted to invite him in.  Dean wasn’t sure he would have turned down the offer.

Once the truck was unhitched and safely in the garage, they stood next to the tow truck with their hands in their pockets, rocking back and forth on their heels.

“So,” Dean said, “how will you get to work?”

“I can ask my vet tech to pick me up on her way in.  If I put a rush on it, I can get my license replaced by the end of the week.  I’m familiar with the process—my best friend loses her stuff all the time.”

“Okay.  Well…I guess you’re all set then.”

“Yeah…”

They looked at each other for a moment and then Dean stuck out his hand.  Asa shook it.

“It was nice meeting you, Asa.”

“You too, Dean.”

They nodded at each other, and then Dean turned and walked toward the cab of the truck.

“Wait, Dean…”

Dean turned back.

“Um.  I don’t…I don’t think it’s for the best for us to let it end like this.  It wasn’t a date either of us would have been comfortable with regardless.  Let’s try it again, but let’s do something more…us.”

“What do you have in mind?”

“Do you know Leon’s Sports Bar?  It’s over by you.”

Dean shook his head.  “Haven’t heard of it.”

“It’s pretty great for watching games.  Huge screens, good selection of beers on tap, and the food is actually decent and not just ‘available.’”

Dean smiled.  “Sounds good.  What is it again?”

“Leon’s.  Based on where you said you live, it’s probably like five or ten minutes from you.”

“You drive that far just to go to a sports bar?”

“Ah,” Asa said holding up a finger and giving Dean a conspiratorial smile.  “It’s a gay sports bar.”

Dean made a face.  “Oh, God.  What sports do they watch, figure skating?”

Asa playfully kicked Dean in the shin.  “Don’t go stereotyping.  It’s exactly like a straight sports bar.  So much so, straight guys often wander in by mistake.”

“So, what makes it gay?”

“Well, when a guy offers to buy another guy a drink, the response isn’t the threat of getting punched, but a distracted, ‘Maybe at halftime.’”

Dean chuckled.  “Sounds like a good place to watch a game.”

“Yep.  And the playoffs are tomorrow afternoon.  We could meet there at, like, noon.  Grab a booth and have a nice chill date.”

Dean smiled.  “I’d like that.”

“Yeah?”  Asa looked totally jazzed that he’d agreed to go, and then he quickly tried to play it off like he was totally cool about it.  “I mean, yeah.  It could be fun.”

Dean laughed and Asa bit his lip and glanced away.  He was cute.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Asa,” Dean said, and climbed into the tow truck.

“Goodnight, Dean,” Asa said, and then backed up toward his driveway.

Dean closed the door to the truck, and then rolled down the window.

“Hey, Asa?”

“Yeah?”

“How are you going to get there tomorrow?”

Asa froze as he was reminded of his license-less dilemma.  “Uh…I will find a way.  Don’t worry about me.”

“I guess I’m buying,” Dean said dryly.

“Oh!  Oh, no!  I didn’t…I can—!”

Dean gave the stammering man a wink, and then drove off.

 ~~~

Castiel stared down the superintendent of the city’s school administration and waited for Hannah to finish interpreting what he had signed.  The man was clenching his jaw so hard Castiel was certain he was going to break his teeth.  The DCO had been struggling to get proper equipment and trained staff for the deaf students for over two years.  They always tried negotiation before litigation, but the school board’s failure to fulfill their promises had been going on for too long.  They had scheduled an appointment like it would be any other meeting, but then used the opportunity to serve them a subpoena.

“You have no standing,” Superintendent Rosings stated through Hannah signing.  “We’ve addressed all of the concerns you’ve brought up.  We’re in compliance.”

-You’re not remotely in compliance, and we’ve pointed out how and why your ‘actions’ have failed to meet those requirements.  You’re violating a federal statute, and have been since 1990.  We’ve given you ample time and opportunity to address these grievances.  Your non-compliance will now be addressed in court.-

“You say you’re doing this to help the students, but you’re just going to hurt them.”

-How?-

“By making other students resent them.  The only way to pay for all the cr—things—you’re asking for is to take money from other parts of the budget.  No one will allow athletics to be cut, so the money will come out of the arts.  The program is already gutted.  The hundreds of kids who have to give up band and choir are going to be hurt because, what, three kids in the entire system need special treatment?  I thought your whole schtick is that you people aren’t ‘special.’  That you want to be treated like everyone else.”

-You provide materials and specialized classes for dyslexic individuals.-

“Well, yeah, those kids are ‘special!”’

Castiel narrowed his eyes.  –We’ll see you in court.  I’d work on your argument before you present it to the judge.-

The superintendent threw his hands in the air and turned to mutter to someone on the board.  Castiel glanced at Hannah as he packed up his briefcase.  She gave a slight shake of her head; he was speaking too quietly for her to hear, so he wasn’t just talking because he knew Castiel couldn’t hear him.  They were unhindered as they exited the municipal building, and they both managed to keep their smirks in check until they were in Hannah’s car.

Back at the DCO there were mixed reactions to the news.  Some had been hoping that the threat of a lawsuit would make the school board take them seriously and change their stance on making changes.  Some were gung-ho about taking them to court and raking them over the coals.  Still others were worried that the case would go to court, and they would lose.

Castiel felt confident that they would win easily.  There were several instances where the school system was in direct violations of the Americans with Disabilities Act, and he had carefully documented his rebuffed attempts at getting the school board to address them.  It was a pretty cut and dry case.  No doubt the city’s lawyers would find some way to try to weasel out of it, but he was bringing in Balthazar to represent the DCO.  The man was undefeated in court on matters of discrimination.  Probably because he only took cases that were slam dunks, but the statistics still backed up his reputation.  The only problem with a reputation that good was that even with the family and friends discount, he was very expensive.  Since they weren’t suing the school board for money, they couldn’t ask them to cover their attorney’s fees.  Castiel was going to have to come up with the money from somewhere.  He sat down at his desk and began reviewing the budget.

A few hours later Castiel’s back hurt and he was in a foul mood.  Because last year’s gala had underperformed, their backup surplus was already gone and they were going to have to cut some classes and activities in the upcoming months.  He couldn’t cut back on the services they provided—they were much too important—so that meant all the “fun” things would have to be scaled back or canceled altogether.  It wasn’t the first time they’d had a lean year and everyone handled cuts with grace and understanding (mostly), but he still hated having to take away the incentives for working for the DCO.

The lights flashed in his office and he looked up to find Dean flicking the light switch.  He smiled and motioned his friend into the room.  Dean walked in, pulled the door partially closed, and then plopped into one of the chairs on the other side of Castiel’s desk.

-What brings you to the city on a Monday?- Castiel asked.

-Job interview.-

-Really?-

Castiel finally registered that Dean was wearing a suit.  A cheap black suit with a skinny black tie.  He looked like a seventh grader at his first dance.

-Yep.  As an ‘administrative assistant’ at some company that makes, like, medical shit.  Not medicine, but like tubing and filters and sutures and stuff like that.-

-Why did you use air quotes around ‘administrative assistant?-

-Because that’s the modern term for secretary.  I interviewed to be a secretary.-

Dean looked completely put out by the thought of being someone’s secretary.  Castiel had to tease him about it.

-Well, if you get the job, I’ll buy you your first strand of pearls.-

-Hey, fuck you,- Dean said without malice.  –How did the meeting with the school people go?-

-Oh, fabulous.  We were insulted and condescended to, but we served them and now we’re going to court.  The only problem is that we don’t have enough money to cover the attorney fees without cutting some programs.  Temporarily.-

“Bummer.”  -That explains the face.-

-What face?-

-The really grumpy face you had when I came in.-

-Oh.  Yeah.  I just really hate being constrained by money.  It’s terrible that everything has to revolve around it.-

Dean shrugged.  –Preaching to the choir.  Again, I just interviewed to be a secretary.-

-There’s nothing wrong with being a secretary.-

“Yeah, yeah.”  -You free for lunch?-

-Yes, just let me log off.  Where do you want to go?-

“Cups and Crullers.”

-Every time, Dean,- Castiel said, shaking his head.

-Hey!  I don’t live or work over here.  I only get to go when I come here.-

Castiel gave him an indulgent smile, which made him frown and grumble.  Ordinarily he’d be offended by someone muttering under their breath and not signing, but multiple people had told him that being hearing didn’t actually help one to understand what Dean was saying when he was being sulky.

They caught the coffee shop towards the end of the lunch time rush, so they didn’t have to wait long for their order.  Dean ordered the same roast beef and cheddar sandwich with horseradish and beansprouts (which usually “fell out” during the course of consumption) that he always did, and Castiel branched out and ordered the French dip, which he ordinarily only ate in the spring.

-So, what have you been up to?- Castiel asked.  “Oh!”  He excitedly moved his arms to sign and caused his dipping sauce to slosh out of its container.  –You had your date with Mr. Fox, right?  How did that go?-

Dean rolled his eyes and worked on chewing the large bite he’d just taken.  Castiel gleefully waited, eager to hear about another one of Dean’s dating disasters.  He really shouldn’t take such joy in Dean’s misery, but for some reason it was oddly pleasing to know that Dean wouldn’t be getting serious with anyone anytime soon.

-It was pretty terrible.  We went to a county fair, and it was a sucky county fair.  No corn dogs, no funnel cakes.-

-No funnel cakes?  That’s not a fair at all.-

-I know, right?  The rides looked about to come apart at the seams.  The games were overpriced—even for a fair.  And we got on a paddle boat.-

-A paddle boat?- Castiel asked, totally surprised by that piece of information.  He couldn’t picture Dean on a paddle boat at all.  –Why?-

-There was nothing else to do!  Anyway, we crashed the boat—

-How do you crash a paddle boat?-

-You just do!  Okay?  And my phone shorted out and he lost his wallet.  He couldn’t drive home without a license so I had to call Uncle Bobby to bring the tow truck to take him home.  The whole thing was just ridiculous.-

Castiel laughed and thought that Donna had outdone herself today; the French dip was marvelous.

-Well, at least you can tell people you dated a dude named A-S-A.  And a ‘fox’.-

Dean tried to repress a laugh at Castiel’s bad pun.

-Where would you rank that date?  Better than the bathroom incident, not as exciting as the offer of a threesome?-

-You take way too much pleasure in this,- Dean signed, scolding him.  Castiel just grinned.  –And I guess it ranks the highest because he decided to save the whole thing by saying it didn’t count and we needed to try again.-

Castiel’s sandwich got stuck in his throat.  He coughed and then it slid uncomfortably down.  –What?  You went on a second date?-  Dean hadn’t been on a second date with anyone he’d dated in the last two months.  One and done disaster dates were why they were funny.

“Well…not a second date.  It was more like a do-over.  We went to a gay sports bar and watched the playoffs.”

-How is a gay sports bar different from a straight sports bar?-

“Honestly?  It’s not really different at all except sometimes instead of celebrating with a high five two dudes would kiss.”

Castiel poked at his sandwich which suddenly seemed soggy and overcooked.  –Is that how you two celebrated?-

Dean laughed.  “Oh, God no.  It was totally Bro City between us.  It was just like being at a bar with Victor or Benny.  We watched the game, commented how we, of course, could play better, and then left all pissy because we lost and the season is officially over.  We had an awkward goodbye in the parking lot and just shook hands because it felt wrong to even think about kissing your bro goodnight.”

Castiel smiled.  –Well, maybe he can be a new friend.  Like Aaron.  Though I really do hope you’re not too good of friends with Aaron.  ‘Just say no,’ Dean.-

Dean waved him off while flipping him the bird.  Castiel laughed and thought his sandwich wasn’t so bad after all.

 ~~~

Dean checked his temper as he was cut off again.  He really hated driving on this side of the city; it wasn’t even rush hour yet, but the traffic volume was high and people were driving like dicks.  Where he lived wasn’t exactly a cultural mecca, but the traffic into and out of the city was much more manageable.  However, after their awkward goodbye in the parking lot last night, Asa had asked if they could just give it one more try.  The first date had been bizarre, the second one hadn’t really been a date at all, so he just wanted to try a cliché dinner and movie date.  If it was still bad, three strikes and they were out and could move on with life.  Dean had shrugged and decided, “Why not?”  He was going to be in the city the next day anyway for an interview, so driving to Asa’s work to pick him up wouldn’t really be putting him out.

Dean parked in front of the All Paws Vet Clinic and was surprised to see the building painted a clean white with bright blue trim and a blue metal door.  Most vet clinics he’d ever passed on the road looked dingy and drab for some reason.  This place looked like it could be somebody’s home.  Or a tea house.  Inside, it definitely smelled like a vet clinic.  A young girl wearing lavender scrubs covered in cartoon kittens greeted him from behind a desk.

“Good afternoon.  Welcome to All Paws.  What can I help you with?”

“Uh…I’m here to see Asa, uh, Dr. Fox?”

And as he said Asa’s title aloud for the first time, Dean realized he was technically going on a date with a doctor.

“Oh!  You must be Dean.  Gosh.  I thought he was exaggerating.”

Dean tilted his head.  “Exaggerating what?”

“Nothing,” she said with a bright smile.  “I’ll get him.”

She popped up and disappeared behind a swinging door.  Dean put his hands in his pockets and looked around the room.  It was clean and the furniture was well maintained though dated.  There were dozens of pictures on the wall of dogs and cats and birds and hamsters and a few other critters.  Based on the amateur composition and the average 4x6 inches size, Dean assumed they were patients of the clinic.  A middle-aged woman sat on the couch with a small terrier shaking violently in her lap.

The swinging door opened again and Asa came out.  Dean was a little disappointed he wasn’t wearing a white lab coat, but he was dressed for their date after all.  Dean could smell the soap and shampoo on him as he got close; he must have overdone it to overpower the animal stench.

“Hi,” Asa said, giving him that big smile that Dean was starting to think was his default expression.

“Doctor,” Dean greeted him quasi-seriously.

Asa’s lips twitched in amusement.  “Doctor,” he addressed Dean with a deep, serious voice.

Dean laughed.  “Thank you.”

Asa shrugged.  “Based on the fact that you quoted Dr. Sexy in your profile, I think I already know one of your kinks.”

Dean was surprised by Asa’s boldness, especially considering his vet tech was close enough to hear and snickered.  Then she called the woman with the frightened terrier to the back.  Asa hooked an arm with Dean’s and pulled him gently toward the door.

“Shall we?”

“Uh, yeah, sure.  Who’s, uh, who’s running the show while you’re gone?”

“My colleague.  It’s actually her practice.  I just graduated one year ago.”

“Really?  Are you a bad veterinarian?” Dean asked with a sympathetic look.

Asa bumped his hip against Dean’s playfully.  “Veterinary school is like regular medical school.  It takes four years.  Three years of mostly didactic learning and one of practical experience.”

“Ah, so you are a real doctor.”

“Well, I at least can play the role of one.”

He gave Dean a wink, which made him laugh.  Even if Asa thought LARP-ing was weird, his willingness to “role play” in other situations could definitely be fun.

“Where’s your car?” Asa asked, looking around the parking lot.

“Oh, it’s here,” Dean said, unlocking Bobby’s burnt orange and black ’65 Ford Mustang.

“What?  You talked for thirty minutes about your ‘baby’ yesterday and showed her off in the parking lot, and you don’t even bring her out for date night?”

“Well, I started detailing her last night.  I needed something to take my mind off that shit show of a sports team last night.”  Asa bobbed his head in understanding at that sentiment.  “And I didn’t finish.  So, I had to bring the Mustang.  Which is still a great car.”

“It is.  Just after all that build up I was looking forward to taking a ride in the Impala.”

“Well, play your cards right, and you’ll get that chance.”

“Oh, already anticipating date four, Dean?”

“Four’s your magic number, right?”

Asa blinked at him, startled for a moment.  Then he let out a breathy laugh and turned away to quickly get in the passenger side seat.  Flirting came like second nature to Dean, but for some reason with Asa it felt a little…dangerous.  Dean slid into the driver’s seat and Asa was fidgeting nervously, but he was smiling happily, which was enough to put Dean at ease.

“So what movie do you want to see?” Dean asked as he pulled out of the lot, following Asa’s direction to turn right.  “There’s Blood on the Walls, Fist Crunch, Toss Me Into Hell…”

“Oh…”  Asa glanced at him and then out the window.  “I was thinking of maybe, um, Fake Boyfriend/Real Love?”

Dean snorted out a derisory laugh.  “Really?  A rom-com?”

Asa shrugged.  Dean took the next left when told to.  He glanced at Asa again.  He looked serious.

“Uh, yeah.  Okay.  Rom-com.  Let’s do it.”

Asa smiled and Dean was perfectly happy to let Asa think that he was seeing a rom-com for his sake and not because he kind of wanted to see it too.  Even though Asa had gotten a new credit card from the bank that morning, Dean gallantly paid for the tickets, the tub of popcorn, the giant Icee, the Twizzlers (which was as close to licorice as he could get), the Cookie Dough Bites, the nachos because a picture popped up on the menu screen while they waiting, and the Sour Patch Kids, which liking the sour candy was really the only flaw he’d noticed in Asa.

They both had mild stomachaches by the end of the movie, so they decided to walk around the shopping center, browsing here and there and talking for a couple of hours until they felt hungry again.  They went to a steak place and devoured large prime ribs, mashed potatoes, and Dean even ate his asparagus because Asa could be very persuasive.

Despite being overly full after leaving dinner, they decided to get gelato and walk around some more.  Dean realized they were prolonging the date—neither were quite ready for it to be over.  He ruined his own good mood by wondering if he was just stretching it out because he knew he wasn’t going to see Asa again.  Three strikes and they were out, right?

He didn’t really think this date was a swing and a miss, but it wasn’t anything special either.  He was enjoying himself and he liked Asa and he liked talking with him, but…was that enough?  Had it really been that long since he’d been on a successful date that he didn’t know what one felt like?  He shook his head and focused on Asa again.  He was going to enjoy this date, damn it.

On the drive to Asa’s house, the man relaxed into the seat like he was totally at home in Dean’s presence.  Dean dropped his right hand from the wheel to his lap.  Then he moved it over to the side of his thigh.  Then he dropped it lower to the seat, just inches from Asa’s hand.  Before his pinky finger could scooch closer, they arrived at Asa’s house.  He left the car running and said goodnight.  That smile that Dean had become so familiar with in just three days wilted and stiffened into something false.  Asa said goodnight, and got out of the car.  He didn’t even ask if the date was strike three or not.  And then it hit Dean like a kick to the head that he’d driven up to the guy’s house, left the engine running like he couldn’t wait to leave, and just dismissed him.  That’s not what Dean had meant to do…

Dean turned the car off and quickly hopped out.  He jogged up the driveway and caught Asa just as he started to unlock his door.  Asa turned around, surprised, but pleasantly so, to see Dean on his doorstep.  Dean stood close, but couldn’t quite find the will to make a move.

“Um.  I guess I thought since this was a traditional date, it needed a traditional…ending.”

Asa smiled and it made Dean’s stomach flutter just a little.  Then Asa stepped closer and Dean inhaled slowly, but deeply as his eyes met Asa’s blue-grey ones.  They were awfully close, but Dean still couldn’t push past the barrier holding him back.  Asa hooked his thumbs in the front pockets of Dean’s jeans and pulled him even closer.  They touched down the lengths of their bodies and Dean looked at Asa’s lips, and then let his eyes slip shut.

Asa’s lips weren’t at all tentative, nor was he overly aggressive.  Dean tilted his head slightly and leaned into the kiss.  They swayed slightly on their feet and Dean’s hands came up instinctively to steady them, gripping Asa’s hips.  He was prevented from really holding onto him because Asa’s arms were in the way, his thumbs still in Dean’s pockets, but that just made Dean press forward as he felt deprived of contact.  Asa hummed into the kiss as he felt Dean crowd closer for more, and the small sound incited a craving in Dean.  His hands moved, still holding him mostly by the hips, but his fingers were framing his ass.  Asa gasped softly and pulled back the slightest bit from the kiss.

Dean swallowed and opened his eyes.  Asa leaned forward and pressed a closed mouth kiss to his lips and then pulled back again.

“Dean…I want to see you again.”

Dean nodded.  “I’d like that too.”

They both lingered for a moment, and then licked their lips and stepped back to a more appropriate distance.  Asa’s smile was brighter than ever and Dean felt a little giddy.  Kind of like when he’d first met Cas…but different.

“I get my license back on Friday.  Maybe we could meet in the city for dinner after work.”

Dean nodded.  “I could do that if we had a later dinner around 8:00 or 8:30.”

“How about 8:30 at The Chop House?”

“It’s a date,” Dean said with humor.

“It’s a date,” Asa echoed, his eyes sparkling even in the weak porch light.  “Goodnight, Dean.”

“Goodnight, Asa.”

 ~~~

Castiel turned the page of his verbose steampunk novel that he really was struggling to get through.  It had been recommended to him by Claire, but it seemed to him like the author had created a rich, detailed world and then belatedly remembered he needed characters and a plot.  He was never taking a recommendation from a twenty year old again.  Of course, it might not be solely the book’s fault that his morning commute felt unbearable now.  He missed his daily conversations with Dean.  Texting just didn’t give the same connection and fulfilment as talking in person did.

Someone slapped his knee and sat down right next to him.  Castiel started more in anger than surprise, and turned to give his best death glare to whomever had invaded his space.  His jaw dropped when he saw Dean grinning at him.

“Dean,” he breathed, not quite making his vocal cords move.  –What are you doing here?-

-Well, hello to you too.-

-Good morning.  What are you doing here?-

Dean sat back a little to display the fact he was in a suit again.  –I got the job!-

-The secretary job?-

Dean made a face.  –Administrative assistant.-

-Right, yes, of course.-

Dean nodded.  –Yep.  I’m the assistant for a vice president.  My salary is actually higher than it was working the mail room at Adler’s.-

-That’s great!  Why didn’t you tell me?-

-I wanted to surprise you.  Are you surprised?-

Castiel smiled.  –Very.  Not that you got the job, of course.  You’re very smart and I think this company knows what you can do for them.  Your organizational skills alone will blow them away.-

-Geez, Cas, you could just use your hand if you want to get me off that much.-

Castiel punched him lightly on the shoulder.  –So crass.-

Dean smiled and then plucked Castiel’s book from his lap.

“What are you reading?” he asked while thumbing through the pages.

-Nothing.-  Castiel took the book back and stuffed it into his bag.  –We should celebrate tonight.  After your first day of work.  We could go to Pete and Paulie, or Mikonos Breeze if you want a real dinner.  There’s always Lizard Tailz, of course.  You could bemoan your lost opportunity for employment with them.-

Dean laughed and shook his head.  –We should go to Lizard Tailz one day.  Tonight though, I’m already meeting someone at McGinty’s Pub, so you should come.  Finally try the lamb stew.  It is that good.-

-Who are you meeting?-

“Um.”  Dean looked a little uneasy, but he was smiling, so Castiel wasn’t concerned even though he switched to speaking and signing.  “I’m going to meet as a there.”

Castiel shook his head, confused by the odd choice to finger spell a couple of words.  -As a what?  Are you dressing up?-

“No, Asa.  As in Asa Fox?”

It took a moment for all the pistons to fire in Castiel’s brain.  -Asa Fox?  The guy you met from shottotheheart.com?-

“Yep.  That’s him.  Perhaps, unsurprisingly, the only Asa I’ve ever met.”

-Oh, so you two did decide to stay friends?-

“Yeah.  Uh, well…kinda…”  Dean rubbed the back of his neck nervously.  “We’re kinda dating.”

Castiel sat back a little.  –Dating?  I thought the two dates went terribly.-

“They did, but we decided to give it a three strikes and you’re out kind of deal.  The third date went okay.  So, we’ve been seeing each other for about three weeks now.”

-Three weeks?-

“Yeah, but don’t worry about it being awkward.  Tonight is a totally chill hangout to celebrate the fact that I got a job.  Benny might even show up.”

Castiel brushed a piece of non-existent lint off his pants leg.  –Does he know I’m deaf?-

“Uh, well, we had the whole ‘tell me something interesting about yourself’ conversation, and I told him I knew ASL.  And I told him it was because I met you and all the people at the DCO, so, yeah, he knows I have deaf friends.”

Castiel felt like he’d been gut punched.  He’d gotten his wish: he was just Dean’s…deaf friend.

All day long Castiel couldn’t concentrate on his work because of the dread hanging heavy in his stomach.  He didn’t want to go to dinner; he didn’t want to meet Asa.  He just wanted Asa to go away.  And then what?  Watch Dean go through a long series of unhappy attempts at dating until he finally gave up and resigned himself to a life of solitude and loneliness like Castiel had?  He wasn’t really that petty was he?  That childish?  He didn’t want Dean, but that didn’t mean anyone else could have him?  He didn’t want Dean until he couldn’t have him anymore?  That wasn’t it, that wasn’t the feeling.  He was certain of that.

Maybe he was just worried about losing his friend.  His friend, and nothing more.  People always started spending more time with the person they were dating than friends.  It was natural, it happened to everybody.  Castiel just knew that their time to hang out together was going to be cut back, and that was why he was upset.  It made sense.  He was happy for Dean, just sad for himself.  Well, on the bright side, maybe they would break up in another week or two.  From what Dean had told him of his past, he wasn’t really a “long term” sort of guy.  He said he’d dated a lot of people but had only ever had one person he would have called a girlfriend, and that was back in high school.

Castiel needed to calm down and give Asa a chance.  Really, he ought to feel sorry for the guy.  Dean was bound to drop him fairly soon, and Castiel would still be his best friend.  It was a much better position to be in.

Despite his meager attempts at a pep talk, Castiel was still uneasy as he approached the Irish pub.  When he entered, he couldn’t feel a bass line, so if there was music playing, it was soft.  He’d pre-typed out a message on his cell phone and showed it to the hostess.  She nodded, and to her credit didn’t give him an odd look.  He moved past the host stand and let his eyes roam around the room, searching for Dean’s hair and his signature plaid.  Then he remembered that he’d be in a suit.

Movement caught his eye, and he turned and saw Dean kneeling on one leg on his bar stool to get more height and waving both arms.  He grinned when Castiel spotted him and motioned him over.  Castiel’s heart started to pound as he moved across the room to the side bar.  He didn’t want to meet Asa; he didn’t want to do this.

Dean pulled him in for a hug when he arrived and Castiel could faintly smell alcohol on his breath.  He’d already started drinking, but didn’t appear to be more than one drink in.  Castiel was relieved when Dean reintroduced him to Benny—thank goodness he wouldn’t be a third wheel—and then Dean introduced him to a man he finger spelled as being –A-S-A F-O-X-

Castiel shook hands with the man, and he shyly signed, -Nice to meet you.-

Castiel replied, -You too,- distractedly as he analyzed the man.

He was as tall as Dean and more handsome in person than his photo suggested.  He looked eager to come off well to Castiel, which made Castiel feel somewhat better since that meant Dean had stressed to him how important their relationship was.  But…if Dean had told Asa that he needed to get Castiel to like him, that meant Dean really liked Asa and wanted him to stick around for a while.  Castiel felt a foul mood settle on him.  He actually felt a little sorry for Asa considering the night he was about to have.

-Do you sign?- Castiel asked.  –Or did you just learn a few signs to pander to Dean?-

Asa went stiff, and then glanced askance at Dean.

“He doesn’t sign,” Dean spoke and signed, “He just asked me to teach him a couple of things before meeting you.  Isn’t that nice?”

Dean lifted a warning eyebrow in his direction.  Castiel gave a subtle shrug acknowledging Dean’s displeasure.  Castiel started when a large, meaty arm landed across his shoulders.  Benny hauled him in close and said something, laughing as he did so.  Dean did his best to sign what the man was saying, but he was using a lot of odd words that Dean didn’t know the signs for and had to finger spell.  His finger spelling was his one weakness in his signing.

-I’m going to order a drink,- Castiel signed, slipping out from under Benny’s arm.

Dean intercepted him before he could get to the bar and turn his back to the group.  He handed him a Shirley Temple Black, which was a Shirley Temple with cherry vodka instead of grenadine.  It even had extra cherries in it, which was Castiel’s favorite drink.  However, being handed the clear drink with cherries all through it at an Irish pub with three manly men around him made him feel a little ridiculous.  All he could do was start drinking.

He only peripherally paid attention to Dean as he signed the conversation over the next hour.  He could see Dean struggling to keep up.  Most interpreters swapped off with someone else after ten or fifteen minutes.  It was draining to sign at the rapid pace at which people, multiple people at once, talked.

Castiel didn’t speak unless directly asked a question.  Asa tried several times to draw him into conversation, but he gave curt answers.  Dean elaborated for him, after all he knew Castiel well enough to be able to answer most of the basic get to know you questions as well as Castiel himself.  Benny didn’t appear to pick up on any standoffishness from Castiel, either that or he didn’t care, but Asa clearly noticed that he was getting a bit of a cold shoulder.  When he excused himself to go to the restroom, Dean rounded on Castiel.

-What the hell?  Did something happen at work?  Why are you in such a bad mood?-

-I’m not.-

-You are!  You’re being a jerk to Asa.-

-I am not.  I’m answering every question he asks me.  You guys are just talking about subjects I don’t particularly care about.-

-That’s bullshit.  You don’t even know the guy.  Give him a chance.  What is your problem with him?-

And that was the problem right there.  His problem with Asa had nothing to do with who he was as a person, but simply the fact that he existed.  Castiel couldn’t admit to Dean that he didn’t like him because Dean liked him in a more-than-friends kind of way.  He’d forfeited the right to jealousy and possessiveness when he’d pushed Dean away.

Castiel swallowed and looked down.  He really was nothing more than a petty child.  He didn’t want Dean for himself, but he didn’t want anyone else to have him either.  He was better than that.  He loved Dean (as a friend), and a true friend would want him to be happy.  Even if that meant watching him find that happiness with someone else.

-I’m sorry,- Castiel signed.  –You’re right.  I had a bad day at work.  The gala hit a snag, but we’re working through it.-

Dean’s defensive body language melted away.  –Sorry.  You didn’t have to come tonight if you didn’t feel up to it.-

-No, I wanted to celebrate with you.  My mind is just…on other things.-

-You don’t have to cancel the gala do you?  Because of the attorney fees?-

-Oh, no.  Nothing like that.  Just something silly really, but obnoxious.  You know how it can be.-

Dean nodded.

-Do…do you still plan on coming this year?-

-Of course.  I wouldn’t miss it.  I mean, you’d be okay with Asa coming, right?-

Castiel raised his eyebrows.  –You think you’ll still be with him that far from now?-

Dean gave him an odd look.  –I guess I don’t know for sure, but it’s only a month and a half away.-

-Right.  Right.  Of course he can come.  I don’t suppose he has deep pockets, does he?-

-Not especially.-

-Ah, well, fifty bucks is still fifty bucks.-

-Fifty bucks?-

-That’s the cost of the tickets.  Each.-

-I didn’t pay last year!-

-Because you were the arm candy of the guy running the show.  Now, you’re just a regular Joe.-

-That’s so sad.-

-No, it’s for a good cause.-

Dean laughed and Castiel finally cracked a smile.  Asa arrived at just that moment and smiled as he slipped an arm around Dean’s waist.  He said something to Dean who didn’t bother to interpret it, but he did let out a small laugh and shot another warning look at Castiel.  Castiel raised his hands to ask Asa a question, be a nice, polite friend, but then Asa squeezed Dean’s waist.  Dean looked away and faced Asa, who leaned forward and gave him a quick kiss on the lips.  Castiel realized he couldn’t do this.  Not yet.  He hadn’t had enough time to process the idea of Dean dating someone.

Castiel smoothly turned raising his arms into yawning and checking the time on his wristwatch.  He backed a little away from the group.

-I’m sorry for bailing so early, but I had a long day at work and will probably have a longer one tomorrow.  You guys enjoy your evening.  Nice meeting you, Asa.  Good to see you again, Benny.  Goodnight, Dean.-

He could tell that Dean was interpreting, but he didn’t wait for any responses.  He just waved and turned and started walking away.  One good thing about being deaf, he didn’t have to pretend not being able to hear his friend calling after him.

 ~~~

“So, when am I going to meet this guy?” Sam asked as he shoveled another forkful of mac ‘n’ cheese into his mouth.

“Well, seeing as how you’re not coming home for Thanksgiving, not for a while?”

“I haven’t decided for sure yet, but the plane tickets are expensive.”

“Sam, I don’t expect you to come.  I was just pointing out that the two of you are in different states, so it makes meeting difficult.”

“Uh, we could Skype.”

“I’m not going to introduce you to him over Skype.”

“Why not?  It’s not like a phone call.  It’s almost like meeting in person.”

“Because, I don’t want him to see you clipping your toenails or stuffing your face when you meet.”

“One time, Dean.  I was clipping my toenails one time.”

“It was gross, dude.  The clippings fell all in your keyboard.”

“They did not.”

“I saw them.”

“You’re crazy.”

“Oh, yeah?  Pick your laptop up and tip it over.  Let’s see what falls out.”

Sam made a face, and then stuffed another spoonful of his neon orange dinner into his mouth.

“That’s what I thought.”

“Come on, Dean.  It’s weird that I haven’t met your boyfriend yet.”

Dean looked up from dabbing the lint off his black dress pants with a wadded up ball of tape.  “Boyfriend?  He’s not my boyfriend.  We’re just…dating.”

“Are you dating anyone else?”

“No.”

“Is he?”

“No.  Well, I mean I don’t know.  I don’t think so.”  Sam gave him a look.  “No,” he said sulkily.

“So, you’re dating exclusively, you’ve met each other’s friends, you’re making plans weeks in advance, you don’t want him to meet your brother by Skype because…”

Dean frowned and squished the tape ball in his hands.

“You’re cleaning the lint off your dress pants, Dean.  You’re wearing dress pants.”

“Alright, enough.  I get it.  We just haven’t discussed it yet.”

“Maybe you should.”

“Maybe you should…discuss it.”

“Good comeback.  And I am discussing it.”

“Shut up,” Dean grumbled.

“So, is Cas being any nicer to him?”

Dean groaned.  “God.  I made the mistake of telling him about Asa’s past, to try to illustrate how he’d changed and was doing good for others.  Now he just thinks that it’s all an act and that Asa’s trying to use me in some way.  What possible way?  I have no money, I have no influence or connections.  Guy’s crazy.”

“About you,” Sam mumbled.

“What?” Dean snapped.

Sam put his hands up in the air, not hampered by the bowl or the spoon in them.  “Nothing.  But if Asa’s your boyfriend and Cas is your best friend…how’s that going to work out if they hate each other?”

Dean sat down heavily on his bed.  He stared at the floor.  “I don’t know,” he said softly.

“Oh, uh, hey.  I didn’t mean to bum you out.  Don’t you have a date tonight?”

Dean checked his watch.  “Oh, crap.  Yeah, I gotta go.  Uh, how’s school?”

“Good.”

“How’s Jess?”

“Oh my gosh, super pissed that I didn’t tell her Claire was visiting during her fall break.  But not just at me, she wasn’t super nice to Claire either.  But Jess says we’re still ‘just friends.’  I didn’t tell my other friends Claire was coming, why should she get special treatment?”

“Sam, obviously she doesn’t feel for you like ‘just a friend.’  Rubbing that in her face by hanging out with another girl is bound to make anyone cranky.”

Sam gave him an unamused look.  “You don’t see the irony of lecturing me on this, do you?”

Dean shrugged.  “What irony?  Look, I gotta go.  Be good.”

“Always.  Bye.”

“Bye.”

Dean logged off Skype and closed his laptop.  He made one last pass through the bathroom to check that his white-striped light green button down was tucked in all the way around.  Then he threw on a darker green, lightweight sweater.  He shook his head in the mirror.  He looked so GQ it was painful.  At least he wasn’t wearing a tie—like the model in GQ he had stolen the look from.  Asa had asked if he would be okay with dressing up (just a little bit) for a nice dinner.  He’d agreed without a bit of hesitation.  It was a little scary how a well-timed smile and a lingering kiss on the cheek could make Dean putty in his hands.

He was a little irked that Asa asked him to drive out to his house, especially if they were just going to have to drive back into the city for dinner.  However, when he arrived at the house and saw the mood lighting and smelled something truly delicious in the air…he got it.  Asa wanted to have dinner in.  Dean was down with that.  He greeted him with a kiss, but when he moved to pull back Asa moved forward and prolonged the kiss, deepening it a bit.  Dean put his hands on Asa’s back and smoothed them over the strong, hard muscles encased in soft cashmere.

When Asa finally let him go, Dean asked, “What was that for?”

Asa shrugged.  “Just happy to see you.”

Dean leaned in for another kiss, but the smells were distracting.  “Did you cook?” he asked against Asa’s lips.

“Mm-hmm.  Potato lasagna.”

Dean pulled back, intrigued.  “What’s potato lasagna?”

“Come have a taste.”  Asa led Dean by the hand toward the kitchen.  It was only the second time he had been inside Asa’s house, so he was still impressed with the completely modern look and technologically enabled rooms.  It was practically a smart house as he had his heating and air conditioning, the lights, the alarm, and his whole media center hooked up to a device he controlled with voice commands.

Alexandria, his female cat, was perched on the window sill in the dining room, watching them with her black-outlined green eyes.  Memphis was nowhere to be seen, but Asa had said that it took him a while to warm up to people.  The smells in the kitchen were even better and Dean’s mouth watered.

“I hope you’re hungry,” Asa said as he opened the oven and pulled out a square baking dish with cheese bubbling on the top of whatever was inside.

“Starving.”

“Excellent.  You want to get us some beers from the garage fridge?”

“Sure.  Got a preference?”

“There’s an IPA in there.  I’ll take one of those.”

“Okay.”

Dean took a moment to study the four kinds of beer Asa kept in the extra refrigerator and decided on a lager.  He popped the caps using the bottle opener hanging off the side of the fridge and dropped the lids into the large bucket beside it that was over halfway filled with caps.  It might have given the impression that Asa had a bit of a drinking problem, but Dean knew that the bucket hadn’t been emptied since Asa had moved into the house two years ago.

When he returned to the kitchen, Asa was setting two plates filled with steaming food (including vegetables) onto the table, and a gorgeous silver cat with black markings was rubbing at his ankles.  As soon as he heard Dean, the cat started and then darted out of the room.

“Wow.  He really is a pretty color.  I just thought he’d be grey, but he really does look silvery.”

“Mm.  Silver Maus are beautiful.”  He turned and looked at Alexandria, who was a “bronze” Mau, but mostly looked brown with black markings.  “You’re beautiful too, baby.”

She slowly blinked her eyes at him, but otherwise didn’t move.  Asa chuckled and then looked up at Dean.  He gestured to one of the seats.

“Shall we?”

An hour later, Dean was still moaning his appreciation over the delicious dinner—even the damn broccoli had been good—and Asa waved off the compliments with feigned modesty.  Dean loved how easy it was to be with Asa.  They could talk about nothing for hours and it didn’t feel forced.  He also appreciated that they had the same tastes in regards to what was “fancy” and the need to do “special” things for each other.  Dean had fixed a loose toilet seat for Asa the first time he had come over, and Asa had taken the wireless headphones Dean had received for Christmas the year before out of the box and showed him how to use them.  Those little things were how they showed they cared, and they both understood that.  There was no pressure for grand gestures or expensive gifts.

There was no need for words, as was evidenced by the fact that Dean could let Asa know exactly how much he was enjoying the chocolate silk pie he had made by sucking it off his tongue.  Asa giggled as Dean boxed him in against the kitchen counter, licking a bit of whipped cream from the corner of his mouth.

“You bake too?” Dean moaned and then kissed Asa again.

The man hummed in response and then tilted his head away so Dean could kiss down his cheek, his jaw, and onto his neck.

“I can do a lot in the kitchen,” Asa panted.

“Oh, yeah?” Dean laughed.

“Mm-hmm.  Dinner, dessert.  I make a mean breakfast.”

Dean circled his arms tightly around Asa’s waist and murmured, “I bet,” before gently sucking a mark onto his neck.

“Yeah…you know.  I could make breakfast for you sometime.”

“Okay,” Dean said and nuzzled under Asa’s chin with his nose.

“Like, tomorrow, I could make you breakfast.”

Dean grumbled a little at that.  “It’s a long drive though.  It seems stupid to drive home tonight and then turn around and drive all the way back first thing in the morning.”  Dean raised his head and kissed him again.  “Besides, I’m not ready to leave yet.”

Asa wrapped his arms around Dean’s neck and returned the kiss, but then he pulled back and clarified his meaning.

“Or…you could just not go home tonight.”

Dean thought about what that could mean.  “If I don’t go home, where would I…?”

Dean cut off as Asa undulated his hips against Dean’s, making them both aware of their half-hard cocks rubbing together.

“Ah…”  Dean finally understood Asa’s offer to cook him breakfast.

They’d been dating for a month and a half and hadn’t slept together yet.  Dean knew that wasn’t a long time for some people, but for Dean Winchester a month and a half of being with someone without being with someone was unheard of.  A small part of him pointed out that maybe he should really analyze why he’d been so hesitant in developing his relationship with Asa.  A larger part was squeezing the man’s ass and grinding their erections together.

“So, yes to—” Asa gasped, and then groaned, “breakfast?”

“Yes.  So much yes.”  Dean paused and when Asa opened his eyes they were just a touch unfocused.  “Just one thing.”

“I have condoms.”

“Oh, not that.  But, good.  Um.  Are we…”  Dean was almost too embarrassed to ask.  “Are we boyfriends?”

Asa’s eyes focused.  He smiled lightly, and then Dean gasped in surprise when Asa turned them suddenly and pushed him up against the counter.  In a flash he hooked his hands under Dean’s knees and hefted him onto the counter.  Dean was stupefied by the sudden aggression and just how good it felt to have a man spreading his legs apart and pushing between them.  Dean bit his lip as his groin throbbed in anticipation and Asa’s hands played with the hem of his sweater.

“Yes, Dean.”  He pulled Dean’s sweater over his head and tossed it away.  “I’m your boyfriend.”  He pressed forward and kissed him, rubbing their erections together again.  “And you are definitely mine.”

 ~~~

The gala was only a week away, the DCO’s holiday party for the staff and their clients was the week after that, and the school board suit had its first court date the first week of January, so why on earth was he wasting time playing board games at Charlie’s and Eileen’s house?  Yes, it was Charlie’s birthday, but he could take her out for a nice dinner some other time on an IOU.  He was way too swamped with making arrangements and compiling materials for court to take a break, even for a dear friend.

Especially when that dear friend invited Dean and the rando he was dating to come to her birthday party.  Dean and Charlie were friends, fine, Dean should come.  But why had she invited Asa?  And why couldn’t Asa go more than thirty seconds without having his hands all over Dean?  He was constantly touching his shoulder, his waist, fixing his hair, kissing his cheek.  Castiel had very nearly chucked a beer bottle at his head when he saw the man discreetly pat Dean on the ass.  He had no idea what Dean saw in the guy.

Currently Castiel was playing Tokaido with Meg, Hannah, Inias, and Eileen.  He was usually pretty good at board games, but he was distracted tonight because he kept trying to see what inappropriate thing Asa was doing.  As a result, he was losing pretty handedly.

Someone nudged his elbow and he turned to look at Hannah.  She waved at the board in a “your turn” gesture.  Castiel looked at the board, then down at his cards, and back up at the board.  He had no idea what was going on or what he should do.  Meg rolled her eyes and reached across the table to play his turn for him.  She was probably screwing him over, but his eyes were already back across the room where Asa was standing behind Dean, watching him play a more complicated game with Charlie and her hardcore gamer friends.  He was massaging Dean’s shoulders and occasionally leaning down to whisper in his ear or kiss his cheek.  Dean was smiling, but Castiel knew he had to be annoyed because the man kept distracting him.  Surely everyone else at the table was irritated by the PDA.

Within ten minutes, his group finished their game and Eileen got up and announced that it was time for cake.  Charlie’s group protested being interrupted before they were finished, but Eileen insisted.  The cake was a large sheet cake decorated with dungeons and dragons, but nothing trademarked.  Ordinarily Castiel would have found it amusing, but he was irritated that many of the hearing people who knew how to sign were not really interpreting anything going on around them.  All of Charlie’s gamer and LARP-ing friends were hearing, so the deafies were in the minority, and they were definitely being neglected.

Everyone crowded into the living room, overflowing on the couch and loveseat and dragging the folding chairs from the card tables to form a misshapen circle.  The cake was marble with a buttercream frosting.  It should have tasted good, but Castiel couldn’t eat more than one or two bites.

At one point, Asa attempted to sign something to Castiel.  He narrowed his eyes as he tried to decipher the weak hand gestures.  Then he figured it wasn’t really worth his while and looked away without answering.  Dean immediately drew his attention back with a sharp arm gesture.  Castiel looked at him, his friend’s jaw was tight with tension.

-Dude.  He asked you a question.-

-Did he?  You saw his signing; I have no idea what he asked me.-

-He’s trying, Cas.-

-So?-

Dean stood up abruptly and spoke and signed, “I’m going to refresh my drink.  Anybody want anything?  Cas, will you help me?”

Only one other person asked for a drink.  –I think you can handle two drinks.-

-Help me anyway.-

Dean’s expression was not pleasant, so Castiel stood up and followed him to the kitchen.  Asa watched them leave with a concerned expression on his face.  Castiel rolled his eyes as he entered the kitchen.  He was startled when Dean turned on him and immediately launched into a signing rant.

-The hell is your problem?  You’ve been avoiding me all night.  You’re being bitchy to everyone, even Charlie, who’s birthday it is if I have to remind you.  If I’ve done something to you to piss you off, I have no idea what it is, so you better just tell me.  I mean, it’s pretty par for the course for you to be a dick to my boyfriend, but why are you being a dick to me?-

Dean put his hands on his hips and stared Castiel down, waiting for an answer.  Castiel, however, had the anger knocked right out of him.  He felt a little lightheaded…a little nauseated.  Dean hadn’t mis-signed or forgotten a sign in a very long time.  So, he’d probably used that sign quite intentionally.

-Boyfriend?  Asa is your boyfriend?-

Dean’s angry expression faltered.  He looked a little embarrassed and stepped back, his aggression leaking out of him.

-Well, yeah.  We’ve been dating exclusively for a little over two months now.  We’re…in a relationship.-

Castiel stared at Dean, his chest pulling tight in despondency.  –Are you sleeping together?-

Dean balked.  –I don’t think that’s any of your fucking business.-

He was right.  Castiel had no right to know anything about Dean’s private love life.  He didn’t want to know come to think of it.  And yet, his reply was, -Are you?-

Dean’s face hardened back into anger.  –Yeah, Cas, we are.  We bang it out every chance we get.  In fact, we fucked before we came here tonight.  Would you like to know if he’s any good in the sack?  How big his dick is?-

-No.-

-Because I can tell you if you really want to know.-

-No!  No.  I’m sorry.  I shouldn’t have asked.  I’m just surprised.-

-Why?-

Castiel shook his head.  He gnawed on his lower lip and couldn’t meet Dean’s eyes.  Castiel was startled when Dean laid a finger under his chin and gently lifted his head up.  Dean didn’t look angry anymore, just concerned.

-Cas, is something wrong?  Are you okay?  Can I help?-

This tender worry for him when he was being a grade A prick was too much.  Castiel felt something break inside of himself with Dean’s altruistic concern.  He didn’t deserve Dean’s friendship.  He could feel a rush of tears, and he knew he had to leave before Dean saw them.

-I’m fine, Dean.  Just stressed about the court case.  Please apologize to Asa for me.  Tell him I look forward to seeing him at the gala.-

Castiel rushed out of the kitchen, shaking off Dean’s attempt to grab his arm.  He went to the hall closet to retrieve his coat and Eileen met him over there.

-Is everything okay?- she asked.

-Yes, fine.  I just have to go.  The party was great.  I’ll see you in the office on Monday.-  Castiel turned and waved at Charlie where she still sat in the group.  –Happy birthday!  I’ll see you at the gala if not sooner.-

She waved back, looking a little confused, but then glanced toward the kitchen where Dean was leaning against the jamb with his arms crossed and a frown on his face.  Castiel turned away and walked out the door.  He was hit with an icy blast of wind and struggled to get into his coat.  He didn’t realize someone had followed him until he was halfway into his car and saw Charlie running down the driveway with her arms wrapped tightly around herself.  She was wearing only a thin T-shirt and had no coat or gloves or hat on.  Castiel got out of the car and stood up straight.

-What are you doing?  Get back in the house!  You’ll freeze.-

-Why are you leaving?-  Her teeth chattered and she winced when the wind gusted again.

-I’m fine.  I just have some business to take care of.-

-Are you and Dean having a fight?-

-No.-

-Then why are you crying?-

Castiel raised a hand to his face and felt the wetness on his cheeks that had already been leeched of its warmth.  He shook his head, but he had no answer for her.

-I don’t know,- he signed at last.  –I don’t know what’s wrong.  I just…I know it’s stupid to be jealous of Asa.  I mean, he’s not a threat to our friendship.  I guess I was just surprised when Dean called him his boyfriend.  I knew they were dating, I just didn’t know…it was that serious.  I don’t know why it bothers me this much.-

Castiel could tell Charlie let out a groan and she covered her face with her hands as she tilted her head back.  He could tell her lips were moving under her hands, and when she dropped them and looked at him he easily read her lips: “…this conversation with you too.”

Castiel cocked his head, not sure what she was referring to.

-Castiel.  Do you really not know why it bothers you so much to see Asa with Dean?  Why it makes you feel bad to see him make Dean happy?-

Castiel raised his hands, but then lowered him.  He had no reply.

-You’re in love with him, Castiel.  You don’t just like him.  He’s not some forbidden crush.  You are head over heels, woodland creatures flocking around you in love with him.-

Castiel stared at her.  He wasn’t letting his brain process that.  He couldn’t.

-But…he’s hearing.-

Charlie threw her hands up in the air and turned a circle.  He suspected she was making some sort of aggravated noise.  When she faced him again she looked beyond annoyed.  She started to walk away, but then turned back and pointed a finger at him.  She jabbed her finger at him for good measure, and then stomped back inside the house.

Castiel stood in the blustery wind and below freezing temperatures, shaking uncontrollably.  He didn’t think it was due to the cold.

Asa wolf-whistled slowly when he opened his door.  “Damn you clean up nice,” he murmured, eyes raking over Dean’s body as he stepped inside and shut the door behind him.

Perhaps Dean preened a bit and turned around to show off his Tom Ford tuxedo.  He faced Asa again and grinned.  He was in a rental tux, but it fit him to a T and he looked mighty fine himself.  He also held a small black overnight bag in his hand.  Seeing the bag reminded Dean that Asa would be going home from the gala with him and spending the night.  That reminded Dean that they’d be spending the night together and doing various—night time activities.  His groin tingled in anticipation.  He loved that he felt excited to see Asa after they’d been apart.  He loved that he loved sex with Asa.  He was so close to being able to love the man himself—he could feel it.  He could love this man.  There was nothing holding him back.  He was certain that with just a little more time…

Asa stepped forward and ran his free hand up Dean’s arm and onto his shoulder.  He leaned into him and spoke softly and seductively into his ear.

“As good as that looks on you, I can’t wait to take it off you.”

Dean chuckled and wrapped an arm around Asa’s waist.  He turned his head to kiss him just behind his ear.  Asa pulled back and kissed him on the mouth.  They stood in Asa’s foyer, kissing sensually but trying not to let themselves get too aroused.  When Asa pushed him against the front door, Dean knew they needed to stop or he was going to lose it and they were going to be really late.  He squirmed out of Asa’s embrace and wagged a finger at him.

“Later,” he promised.

Asa made a pained expression, but dutifully opened the door.  They were hit in the face with a powerful gust of wind and a few snowflakes.  Asa quickly shut the door.

“Let me get my coat.”

“Good idea.  Mine’s in the car.”

“Why didn’t you leave it on?”

“And deprive you of this?” Dean asked, gesturing at his tux-clad body.

Asa laughed and shrugged into his coat.  “It’s not bragging if it’s true, right?”

“Exactly.”

Dean drove slowly into the city as the roads were a little slippery with the freshly falling snow, but he still held Asa’s hand the whole time.  They talked about their plans for after Christmas.  For the holiday, Asa was going on a skiing trip to Canada with his friends—an excursion that had been planned and paid for months before he and Dean had even met.  Dean was going to be occupied with Sam and didn’t have much leave available since he was still new at his job.  So, they decided to celebrate together by attending a large party thrown by a local radio station for New Year’s Eve.  Dean was really looking forward to a night of loud music, heavy drinking, and rutting against his hot boyfriend on the dance floor.  It certainly would make up for the formality of tonight’s event.

Dean reluctantly handed the keys to the Impala over to the valet attendant, and Asa nudged him and laughed.  Dean pointed out that he was just as discerning about who he let take care of his cats.  Asa conceded and took Dean’s hand as they entered the hotel lobby and looked for signs pointing them to the gala.  Just before they got to the large ballroom hosting the event, Dean pulled on Asa’s hand and made him turn back.  He reached into the pocket of his coat and pulled out a small, silver Mardi Gras mask.  He placed it on Asa’s face and reached around him to tie it gently, but firmly in place.  He pulled out an identical mask in gold and secured it on his own face.

“Now we’re ready.”

“I feel like we should be wearing gloves,” Asa remarked.

Dean smiled and led him into the ballroom, handing off their tickets to the unfortunate person who had been assigned door duty.  The entrance looked down onto the room from a faux-marble staircase.  Classical music with a modern bass and percussion track underneath it floated like a dark dream around the room.  The hotel lights were low, and there were hundreds of fake candles that looked fairly real flickering in candelabras of all sizes around the room.  The walls were draped in swaths of gold and silver cloth and the dance floor was rich with women in gold, silver, and white ball gowns.  Some were slinky and sparkly, some had very full skirts and ruffles.  The men moved amongst them in a stark black contrast.  Every face was covered in a gold or silver mask.  Some were simple like Dean’s and Asa’s, some covered the entire face, and some were extravagantly elaborate.

Dean glanced at Asa.  He was smiling at the spectacle in front of him.  Then the man faced him, his eyes lost in the shadows of his mask.

“Shall we?” Asa asked.

Dean hooked his arm with Asa’s and they walked down the steps together.  Before going on the dance floor, or looking at the silent auction items, or even looking to greet people they knew, Asa proved himself to be a man after Dean’s own heart and led him to the buffet table.  The food was excellent, the ambience was immersive, and Dean bid five whole dollars on a trip to the Virgin Islands.  Maybe he and Asa could go if he won.

Nearly two hours later, Dean was just about done with the whole affair.  Some people were taking the mask thing a little too seriously and pretending like they couldn’t recognize each other.  Even the ones who had full face masks on weren’t that hard to figure out after a few seconds of talking to them.  He was ready to call it a night and make good on his promise to Asa, but he had somehow run across everyone from the DCO except for Cas.  He wanted to at least say hello before he left.

After Charlie’s party they had had their daily chats on the train as they commuted to and from work and it hadn’t been awkward or strained.  Cas had apologized to Dean again for his behavior and asked if Asa disliked him.  Dean assured him that Asa did like him, although he wasn’t exactly sure if it was more than cool indifference at this point.  But Castiel had offered an olive branch, and Dean was going to take it.  He needed Cas and Asa to like each other.  If they didn’t and he had to choose between them…Dean glanced guiltily at Asa.

-Hello, Dean.-

Dean would recognize the way Cas signed from a myriad of disguised hands.  He smiled and greeted his friend.  Asa and Cas exchanged polite greetings; Cas slowed down and exaggerated his signs for Asa’s benefit, and Asa managed to correctly make a few stilted signs.

-Are you enjoying yourselves?- Cas asked, and Dean interpreted for Asa.

“Yes.  You guys did an awesome job on this shindig.  The food is excellent, by the way.”

-Anna found a new caterer.  I think we’ll use them again.-

“You should.  They’re great.”

-Have you been here long?-

“About two hours, actually.”

-Oh, I had no idea.  I’ve been so busy schmoozing, and it’s a little hard to find someone in a crowd when they’re all wearing masks.-

“Kind of evened the playing field a bit for the blind people,” Asa said, and then pulled back a bit looking worried that he had said something stupid or offensive.

-I suppose that’s true.  In a way.-  Castiel tilted his head in that way he did when he was trying to process confusing information.  –As long as everyone is having a good time.-

“We are,” said Dean.  “It’s been a lot of fun.  But, we’re probably going to head out soon.”

-Oh.  Right, yes, of course.  Before you go though, Asa, may I impose on you for one dance with your boyfriend?-

Asa looked a little surprised that Cas was asking him for permission.  He glanced at Dean, saw that he was okay with it, and then nodded.

“Sure.  Of course.  I’ll wait by the stairs.”

Asa rubbed his hand briefly over Dean’s back, smiled at Cas, and then wandered off.

“Hey, babe, steal some of those cream puffs on your way out, okay?”

Asa waved him off dismissively.  Dean grinned and then turned back to face Cas.  He offered an arm.  Cas took it and they walked onto the dance floor.  Dean thought the request was a little odd, they’d never danced together before, not even at last year’s gala, but he was not opposed to pulling Cas into a loose embrace and swaying to the dark, heavy beat of the current song playing.  Cas followed his lead in regards to the tempo and held Dean’s right hand lightly in his left.  They moved harmoniously together, but then Dean realized that he couldn’t talk to Cas.  All they could do was move together like this.  He closed his eyes and leaned his head softly against Cas’.

The song bled into another and still they danced slowly together.  Dean wondered if Cas’ eyes were closed and if so, what that must be like.  He couldn’t see anything, he couldn’t hear anything.  All he knew was Dean’s embrace and their subdued rhythmic movements.  Dean thought it might actually be great to be able to focus so completely on something.  Someone.

Before the song ended, Dean pulled back.  He couldn’t leave Asa hanging for too long.  He smiled at Cas and signed, -Thanks for the dance, buddy.  I’ll see you on the train on Monday.-

He started to step back, but Cas’ hand suddenly whipped out and clamped down tightly on his arm.  Dean was a little alarmed by the tight purse of Cas’ lips.  They had gone bloodless and his blue eyes shone brightly with distress even through the shadows of his silver mask.  Then Cas turned suddenly and began to pull Dean off the dance floor.  He went willingly, but glanced back toward the stairs.  He spotted Asa talking to someone, so he figured he could spare a few moments to find out what was wrong with Cas.

Cas led him to the other side of the ballroom and through another set of doors.  They were in a dimly lit corridor that led to conference rooms not in use for the gala.  Cas let go of him and paced in a circle a couple of times, and then he took off his mask.  He looked stricken.  Dean quickly removed his mask and dropped it to the floor so he could sign.

-Cas, what’s wrong?  Don’t lie or try to brush it off.  Something’s wrong.  Please.  Talk to me.-

Cas swallowed thickly and looked at Dean like he was in pain.  He was clearly struggling with figuring out how to tell him whatever it was that was wrong with him.  Slowly, he raised his hands.

-I…I don’t want Asa to be your boyfriend.-

Dean was confused at first.  That wasn’t what he’d been expecting.  He thought that the DCO was in trouble or, God forbid, Cas was sick or something.  Not approving of his friend’s significant other?  Not on the list of things to be that stressed about.

-I don’t understand.  What is your problem with him?  He’s great.  He’s actually really fucking great.-

-I know.  I mean, I believe you.  I don’t dislike him.  I don’t think he’s a bad person.  My problem with him…is that he’s your boyfriend.-

Dean turned away and ran a hand down his face in aggravation.  He turned back to face him.  –I’m still not understanding what you’re getting at.  Treat me like I’m stupid.  Explain it real slow.-

Cas bit his lip and Dean realized he was trembling.  His instinct was to go to him and comfort him, but he refrained.  Just barely.  Finally Cas shook his head and gave up.

-I love you.-

Dean’s stomach dropped and his chest felt tight.  He took a step back and bit his lip hard to stave off the tears that unexpectedly sprang to his eyes.

“I…Cas…Like friends, right?”

Cas shook his head, looking absolutely miserable and apologetic.  –I’m in love with you, Dean.  And I can’t stand Asa because he has you.  And it’s not fair.-

“Not fair?!” Dean exploded, forgetting to sign.  He stepped away again and paced for a moment.  When he faced Cas again the man looked small and beaten.  He moved closer to force Cas to look up at him.

-Not fair?  You said it wasn’t possible.  That you could never date a hearing person.-

-I know.  I thought I meant it too.  But, just because I thought I couldn’t be with a hearing person didn’t stop me from falling in love with one.-

Dean shook his head and looked away, one stray tear falling down his cheek.  He took a moment to compose himself.  He licked his lips and the other tears receded a bit.  He faced Cas again.

-I don’t know what you want from me, Cas.  You just want me to know that you love me so I’ll never date anyone else?  So I’ll be available to you as a friend and a forbidden fantasy for the rest of your life?-

Cas shook his head.  –No.  Of course not.  I want you to be the exception to my rule.-

Dean retreated toward the door.  –I can’t do this now.  Asa is waiting.  I have to go.-

“Dean…”

Dean turned away and opened the door.  He took the long way around the dance floor, trying to regain his composure.  If the way Asa’s smile faded a bit into confusion was any indication, he only partially succeeded.

“Is everything okay?”

“Yes.  Let’s go.”

“O-Okay.”

Asa followed him up the stairs and waited silently with him for the valet to bring around the Impala.  He didn’t complain when Dean turned on music for the drive home.  He reached over and held Dean’s hand as they drove.  Dean wanted to take comfort from the gesture, but he kept finding reasons to need to return his hand to the wheel.  It was a long, miserable drive for Dean back home.  He wondered what Asa was thinking and feeling.  He couldn’t bring himself to ask.

When they got inside Dean’s apartment, he didn’t embrace Asa or offer him a drink or even talk to him.  He just sat down on his couch and glared at the blank screen of his TV.  He felt the cushions shift as Asa sat down on the couch, at the opposite end.  Neither spoke for several minutes.  Asa broke first.

“What happened?”

Dean let out a soft, humorless laugh.  He contemplated confessing everything to him, but he didn’t want to deal with it tonight.  “Nothing.  Don’t worry about it.”

“What did Cas say to you?”

Dean’s head whipped around to face Asa.  He didn’t know why he was surprised Asa had guessed that much.  After all, there were only two dots to connect.  He inhaled deeply as he looked at Asa.  He was solemn, but calm.  He was leaning casually on the couch, his arm along the back.  He was patient and supportive.  Dean owed him an explanation.

“He, uh…Cas said that…”  Dean inhaled and exhaled quickly.  “He said the reason that he’s had a problem with you is because he loves me.”  Dean shrugged, at a loss for what to say or do.  “He said he’s in love with me.”

Dean waited for Asa’s reaction.  There wasn’t one.  It was like he was waiting for something more.  When Dean just kept staring at him, Asa glanced down at the back of the couch and picked at it with his fingers.

“I can’t say I’m surprised.  It was pretty obvious he had feelings for you.”

It was?  Dean’s brain wandered back over the course of their relationship.  Was it obvious?  There were sometimes, when yes, Dean had thought it might be possible, but Cas had always shut it down.  Because he didn’t want him.  In fact, even during his confession, Cas had never said that he wanted Dean.  Not explicitly.  He’d just brought up his stupid rules and exceptions BS again.  All he’d really said was that he was in love with him and jealous of Asa.  Maybe there would have been more, but Dean had walked out.  He closed his eyes.  He couldn’t think about that right now.  When he opened his eyes, Asa was still watching him calmly, though cautiously.

“You’re not angry?” Dean asked.

“With Cas?”  Asa shook his head slowly.  “No, Dean, I understand perfectly well why Cas would be in love with you.”

Dean swallowed.

“The real issue is…”  Asa looked down, reluctant to speak his next words even though they both knew what they were going to be.  He looked up.  “Are you in love with him?”

Dean let those words bounce around his brain.  He looked away from Asa’s carefully controlled features.

“I was,” he admitted.  “When we first met I had a crush on him.  And the more I got to know him, the more I came to care about him.  I realized I was in love with him eventually, but he had always been so adamant about never being with a hearing person.”

“So, that was the only thing keeping you apart?”

“Not just that.  I mean, he didn’t feel the same way.  At least…I didn’t think he did.”

Asa’s lips tightened.  “But now that’s not the case anymore.”

Dean nodded, his brain starting to entertain the possibility that—he shut that train of thought down.  “He still has the same issues about hearing and deaf couples.  I don’t think that’s changed.”

“Maybe he’s willing to make an exception for you.”

Dean clenched his teeth as Asa’s words echoed Cas’.  Did he mean it?  Did it matter?  Sometimes if you missed your window of opportunity, there was no prying it back open.  He looked at Asa.

“It doesn’t matter if he could or not.  I decided to move on.  And being with you…Asa, I love being with you.”

Asa dropped his head again, nodding with a look of hurt resignation on his face.  “Love being with me.  And Cas?  Do you love being with him too?  Or…do you just love him?”

Dean clenched his jaw and struggled to find the answer within himself.  Had his feelings changed since August?  Was he over Cas?  Was he able to move on, even knowing how Cas felt about him?  He heard fabric shift as Asa stood up.  Dean straightened swiftly.

“Asa, I’m not saying yes.”

The man nodded, barely able to glance in Dean’s direction.  “But you’re not saying no, either, are you?”

Asa started for the door and Dean leapt to his feet to follow him.

“Asa, babe, please.  It’s not…Cas’ issues don’t concern us.  Please.  Don’t break up with me.”

Asa let out a bitter laugh as he bent down to pick up his overnight bag.  He turned to face Dean while slinging the strap onto his shoulder.  When his eyes met Dean’s they were hard, but laced with pain.

“Dean…you’re breaking up with me.”

Dean shook his head, but he couldn’t find any words.  He stepped forward and cupped Asa’s cheek.  The man gave him a pleading look, begging him not to make things harder.  Dean kissed him anyway, and Asa responded, but without passion.  They broke apart and Dean parted his lips, but still couldn’t think of anything to say.

“Goodbye, Dean.”  Asa’s voice was thick with tears and it broke Dean’s heart.

Asa opened the door and walked out.  Dean leaned against the cold metal, his hand on the knob, but he made no move to follow him.  He finally allowed his tears to fall and sobbed bitterly at his loss.  For it was a loss.  Asa had found a place in his heart, and now there was just empty space where it had been ripped away.

He could stop it.  If he walked out the door right now he could stop Asa from leaving.  He could grab him and tell him he loved him and beg him to stay; he was almost certain Asa would.  But he couldn’t do it.  Not before he talked to Cas.  Not before he found out if it was a possibility.  Even if it wasn’t possible, especially considering the anger Dean now harbored for Cas, he couldn’t possibly win Asa back if he didn’t go after him right now.  Asa would know that Dean had gone to Cas.  That he’d either been rejected or decided he preferred the easier route.  Either way, Asa would be his second choice.  Some people couldn’t live with that.  He didn’t blame Asa in the slightest.

Dean turned around and slid down the door to the floor.  He pulled his knees up and rested his elbows on them so that he could bury his face in his hands.  He cried even harder.  Damn Cas.  How could he do this?  In a fit of fury, Dean pulled out his phone and typed out a scathing message.  His thumb hovered over the send button.  After a minute or two of deliberating, he erased the message and put his phone up.  He would have to wait and talk to Cas later when he was calmer.  He’d already lost Asa.  He didn’t want to lose Cas too.  Even if they just stayed friends.

~~~

Castiel cracked an eye open and immediately regretted it.  His head was pounding.  No, not pounding, splitting.  Breaking apart.  Liquefying.  He had gotten stupid drunk last night.  He had no clue who had had the onerous task of taking him home.  His memory stopped about fifteen minutes after Dean had stormed out and he’d downed his fifth finger of whiskey.

He glanced at the clock on his nightstand.  It was after noon.  That meant neither Hannah nor Inias had brought him home because they would have woken him up before now to make sure he wasn’t in a coma.  Most likely it had been Gabriel or Meg, and since he didn’t smell anything cooking, it was probably Meg because she would have stripped him, dropped him off in bed, and promptly left him to his own devices.

Castiel sat up slowly, his body feeling old and achy.  He groaned, not caring if he was loud enough to be heard through the shared wall of his townhouse.  With effort he hauled himself out of bed and trudged into the bathroom.  He took a marathon piss and was grateful his bladder had held on through the night.  Then he took a quick shower (that also included a ten minute nap against the tiled wall) and spent five minutes brushing the fuzz and decay out of his mouth.  He put on a soft pair of black lounge pants and an old X-Men comics T-shirt.  He had zero plans to go out today.  In fact, until he received a full report of whatever had happened after he had gotten drunk at the gala, he might not go into work.

He lumbered down the stairs one step at a time and then shuffled into the kitchen.  He opened the refrigerator and settled in for a long debate as he stared unseeingly at its contents.  Then the lights flashed in his kitchen.  Someone was at the door.  It must have been Gabriel who had brought him home, and he was only just now returning with groceries for a greasy, alcohol absorbing breakfast.  Castiel walked slowly toward the door and the lights flashed again.  He made a face.  Impatient bastard.  He managed to walk more or less normally down the stairs to the door, and then swung it open, a grumpy bitch face at the ready.  He straightened, startled (and a little frightened) to see Dean on his doorstep.

Dean didn’t wait for a greeting or an invitation.  He didn’t say anything either.  He just pushed past Castiel and walked up the stairs.  Castiel was left staring out the front door at the Impala where it sat in his driveway.  He turned slowly and looked up the stairs.  Dean was out of sight.  Castiel shut the door and trekked up the stairs with only a little stiffness in his thighs slowing him down.  He found Dean pacing around his living room.

-Are you alone?- Dean signed, looking like he might snap if Castiel had company.  Considering how hungover he must look, he wondered if Dean was worried that Castiel might have brought home a random hookup to try to forget what had happened.  He hoped Dean knew him better than that.

-I’m alone,- he signed.

Dean relaxed just a fraction and continued his pacing.  Castiel waited him out.  He was tempted to sit down on the couch, but he didn’t want Dean to think that he was dismissing him or was put out by his presence.  Finally Dean came to a stop and faced him.

“What the hell was last night?” Dean spoke and signed.

Castiel’s shoulders slumped.  –A poorly executed confession of my feelings.-

Dean’s jaw clenched in anger.  “I told Asa.  I told him what happened.”

Castiel swallowed uneasily.  –What did he say?-

“That he wasn’t surprised.  And then he broke up with me.”

Castiel’s jaw dropped.  His body was awash with conflicted emotions.  He wanted to go to Dean’s side and comfort him.  He was angry at Asa for hurting Dean.  He was ashamed of the part he had played.  He was gleeful that Dean was free.  The shame bowled into the glee, knocking it down and away.

-Because of what I said?  Let me…let me talk to him.  Maybe I can…fix things.-  It pained him to make that offer.

“No, he didn’t break up with me because of what you said, but because of what I didn’t say.”

Castiel gave a slight shake of his head, not understanding.

“He said it didn’t matter if you loved me.  He knew you had feelings for me.  He just wanted to know how I felt about you.  If I was still in love with you.”

-And…what did you say?- Castiel asked, treacherous hope clawing its way into his chest.

“Nothing.”  Dean shrugged his shoulders.  “I didn’t say a god damned thing because I couldn’t deny it.  And he walked out the fucking door.”

Castiel stood still, not sure if he should say or do anything.  Dean cleared that up a moment later when he launched into an attack.

“How could you do that, Cas?  How could you?!  You haven’t changed your mind about hearing and deaf couples.  I know you haven’t.  You don’t think this will work out between us, but you still want to try it out just to prove it to yourself?  You wanted to make sure I can’t be happy because you’re miserable?”

Castiel flinched and Dean pointed a finger at him.

“No.  No!  You don’t get to play the victim in this.  I may have never said it, but you knew how I felt about you.  You knew it.  You know I wanted so much more.”

Dean inhaled roughly.  He couldn’t see tears in Dean’s eyes, but he wondered that if he could, he would be able to hear the tears in his voice.

“I wanted you.  I wanted to try because I know we would have succeeded.  I was so sure of it and you weren’t even willing to give it a chance.  You were perfectly happy to carry on with a friendship for months…until all of a sudden someone else wanted to play with your toy.”

-That’s not how I think of you!- Cas signed harshly.  –Don’t belittle my feelings.  Don’t belittle how much I’ve struggled with this!-

“Oh, I’m so sorry this has been hard on you.  But you know, you did bring this on yourself.”

Castiel clenched his hands into fists.  He inhaled rapidly, his distress making him flustered.  Dean didn’t say anything more, but he didn’t move to leave either.  Castiel allowed himself to take the time to calm down, his chest hitching as he attempted to steady his breathing.  After a few minutes, his lungs no longer felt like they were about to pop.  Dean was still standing in the middle of his living room.  He looked calmer too.

-I’m sorry,- Castiel signed.  –I’m sorry for hurting you.  For hurting Asa.  I just…I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t tell you how I felt.  I couldn’t live a life of ‘what if.’  You’re so important to me.  You’re precious to me.-  Dean colored at his choice of word.  –How could I possibly step aside and let someone else have you?  I had to try, Dean.  Don’t you understand?  I had to fight for you.  I…-

Castiel trailed off and searched Dean’s face.  Aside from color in his cheeks, he looked totally blank.  He couldn’t get a read on his state of mind.  Castiel decided to make a risky move; at this point he felt he had nothing to lose.

-You said…before you said that when Asa asked if you were in love with me, that you said nothing.  Because you couldn’t deny it.-

Dean swallowed, his jaw tightening.  Castiel almost chickened out, but he continued.

-If you can’t deny it…does that mean you are in love with me?-

Dean’s lips trembled and tears welled up in his eyes.  He didn’t sign, but the words were clear on his lips: “Damn it, Cas.”  He stepped forward quickly and Castiel braced himself, his heart exploding into a wild staccato beat.  But Dean walked right past him.  Castiel turned and saw Dean head for the stairs to the front door.  He disappeared behind the half wall as he descended.  Castiel stood still, waiting.  Waiting for Dean to come back, to see if he could feel the door slam.  He waited, and got nothing.  His heart rate dropped suddenly and his legs failed him.  He stumbled back until he hit the edge of his couch.  He sat down limply and stared at the floor.

Then everything came loose.  All his fear and tension and regret and anger and longing and despair collapsed in on him and he bent forward, crying like he hadn’t cried in years.  He covered his face with his hands and wailed.  He didn’t care who heard him.  He just rocked back and forth and cried for what he had lost because surely he had lost Dean completely.  There would be no friendship after this.  Why had he been so damn prideful?  Why had he been so foolish?  He cried until he couldn’t breathe and had to either force himself to calm down or hyperventilate.  Then he let the tears stream down his face until he had no tears left.  He sat staring blankly for a long while after that.

When he finally became aware of the room again, he had no idea what time it was.  He wasn’t hungry anymore.  He was just tired.  Sad and tired.  He wanted to go to bed and sleep until it stopped hurting.  Castiel pushed himself onto unsteady feet, and then began to walk slowly toward the stairs that led to his bedroom.

When he reached the landing, he gasped.  Dean turned around from his perch on the third stair down and looked up at him.  Castiel felt like his eyes were about to fall out of his head.  He held onto the banister tightly, worried he might collapse if he let go.  Dean stood up and turned completely around to face him.  His eyes were red and tear tracks lined his cheeks.  He walked up the stairs until they were on even footing.  He came closer.  Castiel did his best to maintain eye contact with Dean, to show that he was present and that he would listen to anything more he had to stay, but the green of his eyes was so bright, so intense, Castiel felt like it might burn him away.

Dean didn’t say anything.  He just moved as close to him as he could, a hand coming up to palm Castiel’s cheek fervently.  Castiel leaned slightly into the touch, desperate to close his eyes and fall into the fantasy, but he held Dean’s gaze.  He wasn’t going to abandon him now.  Dean looked like he was waging an internal war, and Castiel saw the moment when love won.  He let his eyes fall closed, and Dean’s lips were on his a heartbeat later.

It was too stiff and hard at first, both of them too scared to push too far too fast, but so desperate for each other.  Then Dean’s other arm came up and he cupped Castiel’s face between his hands as gently as possible.  The change in energy allowed them to relax into a more natural stance, their lips softening and parting.  Castiel put both of his hands to the back of Dean’s head, running his fingers through his short hair and directing him a little more to the right.  Their mouths sealed together and Castiel whimpered when he felt the first brush of Dean’s tongue.

The touch sparked inside him, sending a current of desire straight to his groin.  He grasped at Dean and tried to pull him closer, his kiss turning rough.  Dean pulled back and Castiel pushed forward hungrily, but he kept himself just out of reach.  Castiel opened his eyes, confused and refusing to contemplate that Dean had changed his mind.  Dean just smoothed a soothing hand over Castiel hair and then leaned in to kiss him.  When Castiel again tried to capture his lips wildly, Dean pulled back just enough to meet Castiel’s eyes.  He waited for Castiel to settle and calmly lean back in to kiss him, and only then did he return it.  They played at this back and forth of calm and control until Castiel felt his back against the mattress.  He hadn’t even been aware they’d been climbing the stairs.

When Dean’s body settled on top of his, he wouldn’t be constrained any longer.  He kissed Dean feverishly, desperate to be inside him in some way, occasionally pulling back to bite and suck on his lower lip.  That beautiful lower lip that was his—his to have whenever he wanted, his to receive kisses from all over his body.  With a lusty groan borne out of primal possessiveness, he rolled them over and pinned Dean to the mattress.  Their shirts were gone. He didn’t remember that happening either, but he could feel the heat of Dean’s smooth skin against his own as their chests heaved with the need for air their need for each other’s lips denied them.

They were down to only underwear when they rolled back over, Dean straddling Castiel’s hips and grinding his ass down onto Castiel’s straining, needy cock.  He was so hard the delicious pressure and friction was almost painful.  His hands were becoming sore with how hard he kept grabbing handfuls of Dean’s arms, his chest, his legs, his ass…it was like he was trying to convince himself that this was real, that it was happening.

When Dean was stretched out naked beside him on the bed, one leg entangled with his, his hands working their cocks, their hips massaging their balls together, Castiel could tell he was making noise.  He had no hope to control it even if he wanted to.  Dean kissed him, swallowing a groan.  Then he partially sat up and watched Castiel closely as he increased his movements.  Castiel’s lips parted on ragged breaths, his eyes barely able to stay open as Dean drove him closer and closer to the edge.  And when Dean twisted his wrist just right and Castiel threw his head back and wailed—he was still gazing at him just as intensely when Castiel opened his eyes again.  Then Dean did it again—intentionally—to make him scream.  The look on Dean’s face as Castiel lost control was not embarrassment or irritation.  It was arousal, it was pleasure, it was pride.

Castiel’s hand clenched tightly to Dean’s shoulder, and he gave in to everything.  His back arched and his limbs locked as he came blindingly hard.  He became aware of Dean going rigid against him, so he swiveled his hips to work him through his own release.  They relaxed at the same time, collapsing into a panting, sated mess.  After a few moments, Dean raised his head and looked at Castiel.  He combed his fingers through Castiel’s damp hair and then leaned down to place a soft kiss on his lips.  When he pulled back, he was smiling.  Castiel returned it.

Dean held up one hand.  –I love you.-

Castiel mirrored the sign.

Dean started to settle down on his side, but then he suddenly sat up enough to use both hands.

-You’re really fucking hot when you scream.-

Castiel was startled for a moment, and then he let out a shout as he grabbed a pillow and smacked Dean with it.  Dean laughed and rolled away.  Castiel followed him and soon was swept up in his arms.  They laughed as they play-wrestled, and Castiel was astonished that he’d never known sex could be joyful.

They languished in bed for a while, foregoing a round two (a potentially more penetrative round two) because their growling stomachs actually made a better argument than their dicks.  Dean whipped eggs for omelets while Castiel chopped up some lunchmeat to go in them.  It was a delightfully domestic scene and Castiel tried not to think about how close he had come to never having it.  Once the eggs were in the pan and they were both standing there, staring at the round yellow disc dotted with ham pieces like it was a work of modern art, Castiel wondered if they were going to be okay.  Perhaps they shouldn’t have rushed into intimacy so swiftly after their fight.

-So, Cas.-

Castiel shook himself out of his dark thoughts and focused on Dean.  He prepared himself to react calmly if Dean voiced the same concerns.  He didn’t want Dean to think that he would be hysterical every time they discussed their relationship.

-Yes?-

-I’m thinking we don’t tell anyone that we’re together.-

Castiel froze, his heart dropping like a stone down a deep well.  It was worse than he’d imagined.

-We shouldn’t?-

-Yeah, I’m really curious how long it will take for everyone to notice.  I mean, they claimed that we already acted like we were dating and in love, think they’ll notice when we actually know we are?-

Dean grinned and poked at the omelet with a spatula.  Castiel breathed out a relieved laugh.  Dean was enough of a goober that he’d want to see how long they could pull a fast one right under their friends’ noses.

-Probably not long,- Castiel replied.

-Why not?-

-Because now that I can…-  Castiel moved closer.  –I will touch you whenever I want.-  He ran a hand up Dean’s arm and then pulled him close.  He nuzzled his nose against his cheek and placed a kiss in the same spot.  He pulled back and Dean was smiling at him.

-Whenever you want, angel.-

Castiel made a face.  –That cannot be your pet name for me.-

-Why not?-

-Because.-

Dean pouted and sloppily flipped the omelet over with the spatula.  He prodded it to make it slide off the side of the pan and more toward the center.  Castiel reached out a hand and gently brushed his fingers on Dean’s wrist.  Dean looked at him and the verdant green of his eyes took his breath away for a moment.  He steeled his resolve to ask the question that was plaguing his mind.

-Is everything…okay between us?  Yesterday you had a boyfriend who wasn’t me, and I made a very selfish decision that drastically affected three lives.  Is everything actually okay?  Or are we just pretending everything is okay?  If we need to talk more, we can.  I want to.  I always want us to be open with each other.-

Dean nodded his head, looking like he was carefully considering Castiel’s words.  Then he picked up a plate and slid the cooked omelet onto it, holding half of it up with the spatula.  He nudged it toward Castiel, who picked up the bag of shredded cheese and sprinkled some on one half of the omelet.  Dean folded it over to melt the cheese and then set the plate down.

-See how well we work together?  We’re definitely okay.  Besides, today actually isn’t all that different from yesterday.  You know why?-

Castiel shook his head.

-Because I was in love with you yesterday too.  Nothing’s really changed.-

Castiel bit his lip to push back a quivering swell of emotion threatening to turn him into a blubbering sap.  Dean reached up and finger combed some hair back behind Castiel’s ear.

-We’re okay, Cas.  And I mean that openly and from the bottom of my heart.  I want us to always be honest with each other too.  Which is why…there is something I want to ask you.-

-Anything.-

-I, uh…I know you never vocalize when you speak, and that’s fine.  I’m completely fine with it.-

Castiel tilted his head slightly.  –But?-

-But…-

Castiel waited him out.  There was a touch of anxiousness to learn what Dean’s question would be, but there was no doubt of Dean’s intentions.  No fear that he was going to demand that Castiel change to accommodate him.

-I was just wondering if you would be willing to say something to me.  Just once.  I mean…-  Dean started speaking aloud in addition to signing.  “I’ve only heard you speak when you’ve been telling me ‘no’ or ‘stop.’ It’s always been negative.  I just…just once wanted to hear your voice when you’re…not mad at me.  I mean, hearing you scream in ecstasy is great and all—”

Castiel swatted his arm and Dean grinned.  His grin softened into a hopeful smile.

“Is it okay that I asked that?  I didn’t upset you, did I?  You understand that I don’t want you to start trying to speak all the time.  I—”

Castiel held up a hand and Dean quieted.  –What do you want me to say?-

Dean shrugged.  –Anything you want.-

Castiel didn’t even have to think about it.

“I love you, Dean.”

Dean’s smile widened and his eyes lit up.  He didn’t sign it, but Castiel could tell that he said, “That’s so hot.”

Castiel laughed and Dean grinned in response.

-I love you too.-

 ~~~

Every day with Dean is a marvel, a different way of experiencing life, a new rule broken.  Castiel had gone his entire life barely speaking more than a handful of days.  Now, he speaks every single day.  Even if it is the same three words.