Chapter Text
There was a surprising amount of activities in Edo for a day meant to be a family celebration and not a national holiday. For one, the Hina Matsuri Arts & Crafts Outdoor Exhibit was in full swing, where artists and craftsmen from all over the country gathered to have their painstakingly and splendidly crafted works displayed… Oh who am I kidding here? It was the Doll Festival for kami's sakes! There was literally nothing but hina dolls on carpeted platforms after hina dolls on carpeted platforms after hina dolls on carpeted platforms! Well, to be honest, there were stalls here and there that sold all sorts of delicious festive treats from hanami-dango, colorful hina-arare rice crackers to diamond-shaped tricolor hishimochi along with countless other types of wagashi that were both pleasant to look at and to eat, and if I remember correctly, Gintoki and Kagura had eaten all of the sweets one of those stalls had to offer without having enough money to pay for them, causing Shinpachi to go on an absolute rampage, but that's a story for another time. Right now, the main focus would be on the only saving grace of this sorry exhibition, the Life-Sized Emperor and Empress Dolls otherwise known as Mannequins. They were frankly the only thing people went to see besides the food which should be telling you something if people flocked to the exhibit only to see mannequins of all things. It was said these mannequins dolls were not only life-sized, they were also so amazingly realistic one would think them real people dressed in Heian court dress rather than mannequins dolls. Little did people know that -gasp- they were real people dressed in Heian court dress rather than mannequins dolls.
By now, Katsura was less concerned with his disguising as a mannequin Life-Sized Doll in place of one of the mannequins Life-Sized Dolls in order to see the mannequins Life-Sized Dolls not being a very good idea than the fact that he was nearly cooking under twelve layers of brocade. Did I mention he was dressing as the Empress rather than the Emperor? But his disguise was effective nonetheless, never mind the fact that more than one child had told their parents or whomever adults tagging along with them, "That doll is just like a real person; look, she's even fanning herself!" and that, upon passing the display, Shinsengumi Vice-commander Hijikata Toushirou commented that one of the pair of mannequins dolls looked "suspiciously familiar" until his superior Kondou brushed his concern aside saying it was because he "put too much mayonnaise into the chirashizushi he just ate" before dragging Hijikata away in order to treat him to shirozake. But still, nothing happened to Katsura yet, and for that, he was glad.
"How very beautiful are the peach blossoms today, but how they all pale next to the ethereal beauty that is you, my Empress."
"I'm not Empress, I'm Katsura!" he responded instinctively to the sudden voice coming from his right before an oh wait… realization struck him, and he peered to the side. He mustered all his might to keep calm as he held his fan higher to obscure his mouth and said, "Takasugi. What business have you here? And if you're here before me, what happened to the Emperor doll?"
"Allow me to be entirely honest." Takasugi replied, holding his shaku to his mouth as he started to giggle. He was normally good-looking enough, but when he was donning a deep purple sokutai with bronze floral patterns and a tall, black kanmuri hat whose straps tied into a neat bow beneath his chin accentuated his handsome face, Takasugi looked downright regal, if not imposing with a touch of mysteriousness thanks to the bandages and bangs over his left eye. The added glory of a gilded paper screen behind him and a pink bonbori lantern next to him didn't exactly help the case, "I left him floating down the river. Isn't that what you do to dolls on this day?"
"No shit!" Katsura rebutted, which might come off as baffling for the readers considering how outrageous it would be for a Heian noblewoman to swear so liberally, but this wasn't a Heian noblewoman, this was Katsura, so never mind, "That's what you do to floating dolls, not those supposed to be on display! I thought you would know better than I do about this, since you had three sisters while I had none!"
"Do you think I care that much about details? I only destroy; I will burn this corrupted country to ashes and with that this ten-times-damned Girls' Day. That way, I won't have to worry which dolls are supposed to be sent down the river, which ones on the shelf."
"Nice job foiling your own evil scheme there! What will you do when the exhibition closes for the day and it's time to leave? You can't just change clothes and go; if you don't return the doll exactly the way he was, people will definitely notice that he is missing! Then I bet keeping your head between your shoulders will be nigh impossible, much less burning this country to ashes."
"Are you underestimating me? Do you think the Demon Army Commander would lose to some Bakufu's dogs so easily? Well, should that happen, I won't lose my head alone. The Empress doll whose clothing you stripped that you left right next to me, out in the open? I kicked her into the river. Do you think I would be so shameless as to just sit here ogling a naked doll? For your information, I'm not that pleased about my voice actor's infamous live performance either."
Katsura gripped his fan so tightly his hands trembled as he longed to whack Takasugi on the head with it, "You really are a lost cause."
Takasugi laughed again, and together they settled into silence, as though they were mannequins dolls, ignoring one more instance of "they look familiar" this time coming from Gintoki before a certain lavender-haired kunoichi jumped out of nowhere calling him out on his "looking at another woman" and Shinpachi came along urging Gintoki to resume his work sweeping garbage on the ground in return for all the food he ate. It was a long while before either of the disguisers started talking, and it was Katsura who did, "You still haven't told me what business you have here. The Shogun is not showing up."
"You truly are as silly as always. This isn't episode 17. Can't I just attend an event because I enjoy it? You know how I can't miss merrymaking."
Katsura had to resist saying gee, I wonder which one of us is the sillier one right now.
"Kotarou."
"Hmm?" his attention was roused by the use of his first name.
"This event is excellent indeed, but the most excellent of it all has to be you, in twelve layers of shimmering colors… I almost thought you not Katsura Kotarou, but a lady stepping out straight from the tale of Genji; not an Edo man, but a Heian woman; not…"
"Spare me the sweet talk! It's come down to this and you're still trying to get into my pants? For your information, it's hot as all motherfucking hell in these 'twelve layers of shimmering colors!' Can't believe this is what noblewomen wore every day back then! You better appreciate what you're wearing, because it's way lighter, thinner, and…" Katsura hesitated, "… and I think you look good in it too."
At this, Takasugi gave him his highly uncharacteristic, disarming smile that made his heart flutter for a fleeting moment, "Thank you."